Dissatisfaction as a personality quality is the tendency to constantly scold someone or something, condemn, make claims, declare one’s displeasure and dissatisfaction.
One person, dissatisfied with Life, once began to reproach her: “You could have been better, a little kinder and fairer to your children!” Life snapped: - Yes, and you are good! As you are to me, so am I to you. The man did not calm down: “Who gave birth to us like this?” Who made them like this? “I,” Life thought, “he’s right...” And the man continued: “And you often treat the worst of us better than everyone else!” Life has become completely sad: - It happens... And I heard: - Do you want to know why everyone is unhappy? And what can you do so that everyone just praises and glorifies you? She was surprised: “Is there really one reason for everything, unknown to me, and a simple way?” and said: “Yes, I want to!” - Then listen... Why do you think we are unhappy with you? Life shrugged: - You only know one word - “give!” You just whine and don’t let others live. The man smiled: “You’re almost right.” Have you tried giving it yourself? Life nodded affirmatively. “No,” the man clarified, “not just one person, but everyone at once, and everything they ask?” Life was puzzled: “How is it possible - everything to everyone, and even at once? This has never happened before!” The man continued: “People are dissatisfied because they receive very little, and even after dividing it among everyone!” And the stronger ones take away from those who are weaker. So, it becomes completely unbearable for those left to live. If everyone gets everything, then what reasons will we have for discontent? Life thought, shook her head and decided: “Why not try?” And people began to have any desires come true - even the most stupid and fantastic, to the most vile and vile... Very soon there was no more Life at all.
You can be satisfied just from the thought that you have won the birth competition against several billion applicants. As infants we were constantly in a state of contentment. Even when we began to cry or be capricious, it could not be called dissatisfaction. In direct form, we simply asked for care and help. We did not have a negative attitude towards the world and our mother. But as soon as we began to become aware of this world, our needs began to grow. The law of increasing needs has taken pride of place in our lives. The world has stopped coping with our growing demands. The first time we were refused a toy or ice cream, we developed a negative attitude towards the world in the form of discontent. Forgetting about his serene past, the ungrateful kid changes his attitude towards the world: “You're a jerk! I don’t love you and I won’t play with you.” Here both the soul and the restless mind participate in the unison of negativity. The world always agrees with us: “Yes, I’m crazy! I don’t love you either and I won’t play with you.” He, like a mirror of a child’s thoughts, really becomes ugly. Now there are more and more reasons for dissatisfaction. A chain reaction of discontent is launched on full speed. As a result, a child happy with the world eventually turns into an adult bore who constantly files lawsuits against the world and runs to court about this as if it were work. The world is constantly in debt to such people. If you don't like the world, then the world doesn't like you.
And who is to blame? - Herzen would ask. The man himself is to blame. He himself stole the colors from the world. A. Blok wrote: “Erase random features - and you will see: the world is beautiful.” Unfortunately, the person who sold the colors of the world will only see its “random features”: dirty streets, broken bottles, gloomy faces. In a word: “How scary it is to live!”, because all around is darkness, nightmare and horror: all are thieves, corrupt officials and werewolves. Everyone should be shot, or better yet, hanged.
Is it possible to do reverse stroke and return the favor of the world? Of course you can. Necessary ask the world for forgiveness and trust it. Live in the “here and now” mode, noticing in every little detail of life the care and love of the world for you. Wake up and immediately say: “My world and I are friends. The world takes care of me and fulfills all my orders.” Let's go wash up - you state: “The tap is warm and cold water. The world cares about me." They opened the refrigerator: “So many delicious treats!” The world loves and cares about me." We went down the elevator: “The world is kind to me.” In a word, you opened a “hunt for a world without random features.” If you hunt like this for a month, you will be delighted with the results. The world will shine again bright colors. You will see joyful faces, spring and blue skies. With this approach, you are not fighting with anyone or anything. You simply change the emphasis of your perception of the world. You play boomerang with the world: you notice that it cares about you, and, according to the boomerang rule, it cares about you even more.
Have you noticed this feature of your behavior? You love those you do good to, those you care about, and hate those you harm. You love your protégés. There are countless proofs of this in life. The uncle supports his nephew and only because of this loves him. Businessman supervises Orphanage, often visits him, participates in the lives of children and unselfishly loves all his inhabitants. It's the same story with the world. Once your attitude towards the world has changed, the world becomes your protégé and will push you towards happiness and prosperity.
When they try to fight discontent, it always ends in a fiasco. For example, “pretend to be Madrid” - smile always and everywhere. The Americans have made this a relationship practice. A smile is a powerful positive tool when it is conscious. The very facial expression of a smile evokes positive emotions. However, when there is no sincerity in a smile, people perceive it as simple stupidity.
This story happened about 700 years ago. Great teacher, wise by experience, enjoying honor and glory, lay on his deathbed. Disciples and faithful followers asked if he was afraid to die. “Yes,” answered the sage, “I am afraid of meeting the Creator.” "How so? - they were surprised. “You have lived such a worthy life.” You brought us out of the darkness of ignorance, like Moses did his people. You settled disputes between us with the wisdom of Solomon.” Hearing these words, the teacher quietly replied: “When I stand before the Creator, he will not ask me about who I was like, like Moses or Solomon. He will ask: “Were you yourself?”
Dissatisfaction with anxiety are the absolute world champions in devouring human energy. “Pair skating” of these negative personality traits is capable of shredding the forces given to us with the edge of their skates. When we have complexes about our shortcomings, it means that we attach increased importance to them. Excess potential is formed, and this is already dangerous: the equilibrium forces have taken a “start” position. What can they do? One of two things: overcome your shortcomings or create advantages. You've been told your whole life that life is a struggle. This subconscious attitude forces you to rush into battle with your shortcomings. This choice turns into disaster. You get the opposite result with simultaneous deterioration general condition personality. For example, the intention to overcome or hide one’s greed ends with a person turning into a miser or, conversely, into a thoughtless spender. In the struggle with himself, a person begins to become bitter towards himself and engages in self-abasement. As a result, it comes into an unacceptable state: a conflict between soul and mind. When the soul and mind are at odds, it becomes dangerous. There may be discord in life. The soul has nothing to do with your dissatisfaction with life. You brought all the baggage of discontent, all your “rusty anchors” in collusion with your mind, not your soul.
What is the way out of the discord of the soul and mind? There is only one way out: stop fighting with yourself, forgive yourself all your shortcomings and accept yourself as you are. This does not mean that a person should not be strict with himself. As V. Vysotsky sang: “Here I stand in front of you as if naked...”. So accept yourself without external trappings and tinsel. Only in this case will you restore the union of soul, mind and reason. You can direct the energy freed from the fight against shortcomings to the formation of your strengths. You will develop your virtues by conviction, and not by coercion, without violence against yourself.
But what about the shortcomings? If I drink and smoke, what should I continue? - you ask. Have you ever seen a smoker or an alcoholic who gave up his addiction only under the weight of coercion? Remission is followed by relapse. Another breakdown is evidence of the growth of excess potentials. Everyone must make a choice: either quit a bad habit out of conviction, or put it under control. Of course, this is not a panacea bad habits, but you must agree: a habit that is allowed to float freely causes less damage than one that you hate, but are unable to do anything about.
A bad habit must be replaced with a good one or good habits that can painlessly neutralize a bad addiction. Habits are the form of our behavior. No wonder A.S. Pushkin said: “Habit has been given to us from above, it is a substitute for happiness.” For example, you want to get rid of the habit of excessive consumption of sweets. Eat any fruit for one month and you will no longer need sweets. During this month, you will form the habit of eating fruits. New habits should bring you pleasure. For example, smoking can be replaced with a cup of aromatic tea.
It is quite clear that these techniques are purely individual. In each specific case, you need to select your own methodology. The main thing is to stop torturing your psyche in the fight against shortcomings and work on your strengths.
If you wish to leave the party forever dissatisfied with life(PNG), stop making excuses discontent. How can you be happy here? The country is bad, the government is full of thieves. Probably no one described dissatisfaction with life better than Gogol: “The governor is the first robber in the world, and the face of a robber! Just give him a knife and let him go high road- he’ll kill you, he’ll kill you for a penny. The mayor is stupid as a gray gelding, and he is eloquent beyond measure - no matter what Cicero said, it rolled off his tongue. He deceived swindlers upon swindlers, swindlers and rogues, such that they were ready to rob the whole world, he cheated on them. He deceived three governors. Chairman, he is just a Freemason, and such a fool as the world has never produced. The police chief is a fraudster, he will sell you, deceive you, and even have lunch with you! I know them all; These are scammers, the whole city there is like this: The scammer sits on the scammer and drives the scammer. All sellers of Christ. There is only one decent person there: the prosecutor, and even that one, to tell the truth, is a pig and doesn’t recognize the laws.” A familiar picture, isn't it? Well, what's the point of this dissatisfaction? Are you able to change something? Is this your area of expertise?
There is an effective principle in life: “ Move with benefit - stop with harm! There is no benefit to being dissatisfied. What harm does it do? Maybe this is a harmless personality trait? It turns out that the more discontent, the more illnesses. For their habit of making claims to the world, adherents of discontent receive as a “reward”: rheumatism, diseases of the joints and throat. Is the game worth the candle?
If you are tormented by dissatisfaction with another person, first look at yourself. Another person, another world. You have the right to be yourself, and others to be different. If you make an attempt to change another person, it cannot be called anything other than military action. The war of the worlds begins at the energy level. Naturally, a person begins to repel the treacherous attack on his world. We see such wars everywhere in couples: wife-husband, boss-subordinate, man-woman, parents-children, etc.
The world, like a mirror, reflects ourselves. Are you unhappy with the behavior of others? So you have this behavior. We are most dissatisfied with others when we are dissatisfied with ourselves. Guilt makes us intolerant. In other words, you are expressing dissatisfaction with yourself. Learn to accept other people with their beliefs, views and opinions. Isn't it interesting to look at the world through someone else's eyes? Leave the principle: “Breaking, destroying and tearing into pieces, this is life, this is happiness.” Respect and admire the world and people!
The student asked the dervish: “Teacher, is the world hostile for man?” Or does it bring good to a person? -. “I’ll tell you a parable about how the world treats a person,” said the teacher. “Once upon a time there lived a great Shah. He ordered the construction of a beautiful palace. There were many wonderful things there. Among other wonders in the palace there was a hall where all the walls, ceiling, doors and even the floor were mirrored. The mirrors were unusually clear, and the visitor did not immediately understand that it was a mirror in front of him - they reflected objects so accurately. In addition, the walls of this hall were designed to create an echo. You ask: “Who are you?” - and you will hear in response from all sides: “Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?". One day a dog ran into the hall and froze in amazement in the middle - a whole pack of dogs surrounded it on all sides, above and below. The dog bared its teeth just in case, and all the reflections answered it in the same way. Seriously frightened, the dog barked desperately. The echo repeated her bark. The dog barked louder. Echo did not lag behind. The dog rushed back and forth, biting the air; her reflections also rushed around, clicking their teeth. The next morning, the servants found the unfortunate dog lifeless, surrounded by millions of reflections of dead dogs. There was no one in the room who could cause her any harm. The dog died fighting his own reflections.” “Now you see,” finished the dervish, “the world brings neither good nor evil in itself.” He is indifferent to people. Everything that happens around us is just a reflection of our own thoughts, feelings, desires, and actions. The world is a big mirror.
Peter Kovalev
What is the main determinant of happiness? The answer to this question, as you probably already know, is not wealth, fame, beauty or power. Our sense of happiness is determined by how other people, especially our Close friends, family members, colleagues - they relate to us. When your loved ones treat you well, you simply cannot help but feel happy, but if they treat you poorly or avoid communicating with you, you are doomed to unhappiness.
The reason why our happiness depends largely on the quality of our relationships with others, is that people are primarily social beings. And if you look around, you can find a lot of evidence of this. It is very important for us to know what others think of us, and, as my own observations show, we are much more willing to agree to experience something unpleasant (for example, watching a bad movie) in the company of others who share our negative attitude towards it than to experience something pleasant (for example, see good film) in the company of people who disagree with us. Our social nature also explains why falling in love with another person is the most precious experience of our lives and why isolation, the extreme form of which is solitary confinement, is considered by those who have experienced it to be the most severe test.
All this explains why it is so painfully difficult for us to communicate and interact with negative people - people who constantly spoil our mood with their pessimism, anxiety and mistrust. Imagine being constantly prevented from pursuing your dreams because “only a few succeed at it.” Or imagine being constantly discouraged from learning something new - like scuba diving or horse riding - because it's "too dangerous." Imagine constantly hearing negative statements about other people (for example, “I can’t believe you told your neighbors you failed your driving test - now they’ll never respect you!”) If you are regularly exposed to this negative impact, this can significantly affect your pool of positivity, which in turn will lead to you either joining the ranks of negative people, or you will begin to show indifference or even rudeness towards negative people in your environment.
How should you behave with negative people?
One obvious solution is to simply not communicate with them. But this is easier said than done. We can always easily stop talking to a grumpy bartender or an airline executive who has trouble managing his anger, but we can't just turn away and stop talking to our parents, siblings, spouses, coworkers, or friends.
A more practical approach to dealing with such people is to first try to understand the reasons for their negative attitude. In short, a negative attitude almost always has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: fear of being disrespected by others, fear of being unloved, and fear of something bad happening. These fears continuously feed each other, and as a result, the person gripped by them comes to the conclusion that “ the world very dangerous, and the majority of people are bad.”
A person gripped by such fears finds it difficult to believe in the need to follow his dreams (after all, he is guaranteed to fail along the way) and take risks, even if this is necessary for personal growth and development. It is also easy to understand why people who are captive of these fears find it very difficult to trust others.
The fears that underlie a negative worldview manifest themselves in a wide variety of forms:
Vulnerability or a tendency to be offended by other people’s comments: for example, the phrase “you look great today” evokes an exclusively negative reaction: “So yesterday I looked bad?”
Categoricalism or the tendency to invest negative motivation in the completely innocent actions of other people: for example, guests who do not praise the hostess’s treat are regarded as “uncouth rude people who do not deserve invitations in the future.”
Diffidence. It's about about the feeling of helplessness, the inability to cope with the trials that we encounter in life life path, which leads to severe anxiety when faced with such tests and to feelings of shame and guilt if a person avoids these tests.
Demanding: Although negative people feel acutely insecure about their own abilities, they often persistently demand special achievements from their loved ones so that “I can be proud of you.”
Pessimism or the tendency to believe that the future is bleak and hopeless. For example, negative people are much more willing to imagine how and why an important commercial visit might go wrong than vice versa.
Avoidance of risks, especially in matters of a social nature. This leads to a reluctance to disclose information that “could be used against me” and, as a result, boring conversations and superficial relationships.
The desire to control the behavior of other people, especially loved ones. For example, negative people make strict demands on how their children should eat, what kind of car they should buy, and so on.
It is worth noting that in all of the above manifestations of negativity there is one common feature, namely the tendency to blame external factors - other people, environment or “luck” - and not yourself and your negative attitude towards the world. Negative people often think, “If only people knew what I was capable of, if only people were kinder to me, if the world wasn’t full of dangers, and if only my friends, colleagues, and family treated me the way I should.” I would like that, I would be happy!”
At first glance, it may seem rather paradoxical that negative people experience self-doubt and at the same time consider themselves entitled to demand respect and love from others. It may also seem quite paradoxical that negatively minded people look with pessimism at their own future and at the same time demand success from others. However, in reality there is no paradox here. This happens because negative people do not feel respected and loved, do not feel that they themselves are able to control their lives, and therefore demand love and respect from others and strive to control everything around them.
If you look at negative people from this point of view, it becomes clear that their negativity is an almost undisguised cry for help. Of course, these people are not helping themselves by displaying their distress and desire to control everyone - they would be much more successful in trying to win love, respect and control if they realized that displaying their distress and desire to control everyone is doomed to failure. - however, the fact remains: negative people need help.
An obvious but ultimately counterproductive way to help these people is to give them the love, respect, and control they crave. However, this can be a very slippery slope because over time people adapt to new conditions, and soon those around them will be forced to show even more love, respect and give these people even more control in order to make them happy. In other words, by fulfilling their wishes, you may be creating a Frankenstein who will come back to haunt you with renewed vigor.
An alternative solution is to force negative people to find the sources of their negativity and understand that their negativity is more a reflection of their attitude towards the world than an objective state of affairs. Meanwhile, as I already wrote in another article, people are rarely able to adequately respond to critical statements, and those who are negatively disposed most likely will not listen to them at all, let alone take them into account.
This leaves you with only three options. First, you can grit your teeth, face that negativity, and hope that the person standing in front of you will change someday. The second option is to try to find a professional consultant or mediator (for example, mutual friend) and hope that the opinion of a “third party” will help a person understand that his negativity does not benefit anyone.
However, these two options most likely will not solve the underlying problem. In the first case, when you grit your teeth and hope that the negative person will eventually begin to perceive the world around him in a positive way, your passivity can serve as evidence that his negativity is justified. Over time, this will lead to growing and tightening demands on you and, if you are unable to meet these demands, to new complaints against you.
One of the arguments against the second option is that negatively-minded people often tend to avoid solving the problem, hiding behind indignation and the perceived injustice of the claims - “everyone around, even my best friends, is against me!” Even if a third party can show a negative person that his worldview is unproductive, this is unlikely to change the situation. This happens because recognizing the problem alone is not enough to solve it: this requires changing the subconscious thinking patterns that underlie negative worldviews.
This brings us to the third and, from my point of view, the most reasonable option for behavior in a society of negatively minded people. In short, this option involves three elements: empathy towards the negative person, taking responsibility for your own happiness, regardless of the negative attitude loved one, and the maturity of your relationship with a negative person.
Empathy rarely, if ever, involves giving a negative person advice to change his or her behavior. It also completely eliminates reading lectures about the sources of their negativity. As I wrote above, most of us are not ready to listen to negative and critical statements - this is especially true for negatively minded people. It can be quite difficult for you not to react to such a person, especially if their negativity gets under your skin. However, remember that if you express everything to his face, this will not help solve the problem, but will only make it worse. It's also worth remembering that while you only have to deal with a negative person occasionally, they have to deal with themselves all the time! This thought can help you feel compassion for such a person.
The second element - taking responsibility for your own positive attitude - suggests that you should do everything possible to protect your own happiness. If you are unable to maintain a positive attitude and calmness, then all is lost. In one of my articles, I gave some tips on how you can take responsibility for your happiness. In short, this involves starting to think more positively about the world around you, but this may not be enough if you have to constantly deal with negativity: you may need regular breaks from and interaction with a negative person in order to remain calm. Of course, if you want to take regular breaks from him, you'll have to come up with a plausible explanation - you don't want your loved one to think that you're avoiding him.
The third element - maturity - implies an understanding that the most effective way To set such a person in a positive mood is to become the embodiment of a positive attitude. For example, blaming a negative person for making you see the world around you in dark colors will not help. Imagine the irony of telling someone to “stop blaming others for your negative worldview,” while blaming them for bringing you down.
How can you show your positive attitude towards the world in such a way as to force a negative person to adopt it, without stooping to lectures and moralizing?
To do this, you need to learn - as much as possible - to behave like a person who is absolutely safe. That is, to behave like a person whom other people love and respect and who is in control important aspects the lives of others. This means: do not let the negativity of others interfere with your natural desire to make your dreams come true, do not be afraid to take justifiable risks, trust other people. However, you should not do all this just to annoy a negative person or prove to him that you are right. It is best to behave naturally, so that spontaneity, a positive attitude and trust in relation to other people become your integral features. Then, if a negative person allows himself to make a skeptical or cynical remark - and he will definitely make one - take the opportunity to explain to him why you act the way you do and not otherwise.
For example, if such a person warns you that your pursuit of a dream is pointless, let him know that you perceive your chances of success differently, or tell him that you would rather try and fail than give up on your dream altogether. If a negative person warns you of the disastrous consequences of taking what you consider a justifiable risk, respond calmly: “Well, we’ll see what happens.” Let's hope that as a result of this risky venture you will not incur any losses and gain new valuable experience. Over time, the negative person will have to accept that although you are much more risk-averse, you are not reckless. Finally, if a negative person chastises you for trusting people too much, ask him to remind you of times when others took advantage of your trust to your detriment. (Let's hope there were very few or no such cases, because if not, the negative person may be right in saying that you are overly trusting.) You can also feel free to point to research findings: to form lasting and deep relationships , you need to trust your loved ones. (Let's hope that you can boast of a closer friendship than your interlocutor, who perceives the world around him in a negative way.)
Although it may take you a long time to see any results, eventually they will appear. Change will happen at an extremely slow pace, but once it happens, it will stick for a long time. The truth is that people enjoy being around positive people, so even a negative person will sooner or later appreciate your positive attitude towards the world. People also really like to experience positive emotions. Therefore, if a negative person absorbs your positivity in your presence, at some point he will begin to value himself more, and this in turn will lead to the fact that he will begin to trust others more and look into the future with greater optimism.
As you've probably realized by now, dealing with negative people requires humility. The fact that you find it difficult to overcome others' negativity proves that you have seeds of negativity within yourself. If you didn't feel devastated by the negativity of others - if you had absolute confidence in yourself - you wouldn't find the company of negative people so repulsive. Understanding that you need to work on yourself to cope with your own negativity, while helping others in their struggles with a negative outlook, will help you gain the ability to empathize, think positively, and the maturity necessary to carry out this difficult but a very necessary task.
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“If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude towards it” is easier said than done. Positive psychology researchers have identified ten reasons why many of us don't feel as happy as we could.
1. HIGH EXPECTATIONS
Groundless hopes and high expectations serve us badly: if something doesn’t go according to plan, we get upset. For example, we dream of a spiritual holiday with our family, but what we get, let’s say, is an evening that is far from ideal. One of the relatives turns out to be out of sorts, and the situation becomes tense.
2. FEELING SPECIAL
Healthy self-confidence is not a bad thing. However, the one who considers himself exceptional is most often later disappointed: others do not recognize his uniqueness and treat him like everyone else.
3. FALSE VALUES
The problem is that we accept them as true, the only correct ones. Being obsessed with money and one day realizing that money is not everything is a blow that not everyone can withstand.
4. Striving for more
We quickly get used to what we have achieved and want more. On the one hand, this encourages us to constantly strive forward and set new goals. On the other hand, we forget to rejoice in what we have achieved, which means we lose self-confidence.
5. HOPES PLACED ON OTHERS
We tend to expect to be “made happy” and shift the responsibility for happiness to our partner, family or friends. By doing so, we not only make ourselves dependent on others, but we also risk disappointment when it turns out that these others have different priorities.
6. FEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENT
The fear of falling prevents you from moving forward, the fear of failure does not allow you to strive for happiness, be it finding the right partner or your dream job. Of course, those who do not risk anything cannot lose anything, but by doing so we exclude in advance any chances of winning.
7. WRONG ENVIRONMENT
Many of us communicate mainly with pessimists and, over time, begin to be happy less and less. good news. When people around you look at the world through dark glasses and make critical comments about everything, a positive outlook on things is not easy.
8. FALSE EXPECTATIONS
Some people think that happiness and satisfaction are a natural state in which you can remain as long as you like. This is wrong. Happiness is fleeting. By taking it for granted, we stop appreciating it.
9. BELIEF THAT LIFE IS CONSISTED OF “STRIPS”
Some people believe that bad things always follow good things. Behind the white is black, behind the sun is shadow, behind laughter are tears. Having received an unexpected gift from fate, they begin to anxiously wait for a streak of failures, which means they cannot enjoy their happiness. This reduces the quality of life.
10. NEGLECTING YOUR SUCCESS
Often we don’t value our achievements, we brush them off: “It’s nothing, I’m just lucky. This is purely an accident." Attributing successes external factors, we thereby diminish our abilities.
If we value own work, we remember what we have already achieved and what we have dealt with, this helps us face new challenges more calmly. There will be a lot of them, but they are not at all a reason to be dissatisfied with yourself.
Hello, Dear friends!
Quite often people experience a feeling of dissatisfaction. And the most interesting thing is that they sincerely do not understand what is the reason for this phenomenon?
This may be a bad mood, which is manifested by apathetic self-acceptance, an envious attitude towards other relatives who have achieved more successful indicators in the matter of development.
But in any of the options, there is a high danger of making a negative emotion a systematic ritual and even a way of thinking. Dissatisfaction is not only daily self-criticism, lack of optimism and faith in a successful future.
This is the inability to appreciate what the Universe has given to a person. And instead of mentally saying “thank you,” the individual manically looks for reasons to whine and express his “feh.”
Chronically dissatisfied people extremely difficult to help. It doesn’t matter who does what for him, it will still be wrong:
- not such a situation;
- wrong color ;
- they turned to the wrong place;
- they didn’t organize it that way;
- looked at it wrong, set it up, said it, thought it... And there are still many options! Friends, if you found in this description an exaggerated copy of yourself or people close to you, then today’s article will come in very handy! We will talk about the most important reasons for banishing a dissatisfied expression from your life!
I want to focus your attention on the existence of several types of insidious “illness” that come from perceiving oneself through the prism of “I” and “Collective”. The person may be unhappy the following aspects:
Lack of self-satisfaction
Self-judgment is not only common among teenagers, but also affects adults. Many believe that this is more of a habit or a desire to “inflate oneself” than a pressing problem.
And at the same time, for those people who frankly and without jokes do not like themselves, the feeling of dissatisfaction can become more than global problem, which prevents you from developing, moving forward and carrying your talents with dignity.
Psychologists divide the level of personal rejection into two categories: that which pushes us towards positive dynamics of development and the prospect of growth, and, conversely, to a complete refusal to take any action under the threat of a strong fear of making a mistake.
But what are the reasons for such a manifestation of inflated demands on one’s person? Provocateurs can be safely divided into three groups:
- low self-esteem (often the culprit is trauma received in childhood);
- inadequate response to criticism from other people;
- discontent that is born from internal installations and beliefs.
Why do you need to fight the manifestation of underestimating yourself?
Firstly, this reason blocks any individual’s attempts to get out of the self-imposed framework.
Secondly, self-criticism only leads to weakening nervous system, excluding the possibility of adequately assessing reality and own strength.
And thirdly, any person independently forms an attitude towards himself. Is it really difficult to find strengths and areas for improvement when looking in the mirror? I'll leave the question open.
"Dissatisfaction with Dissatisfaction"
In this section I managed to collect the most popular topics to express your lamentations. Social grumbling is a thing weak people who like to justify their inaction by problems in society, society or the world.
Moreover, the lack of satisfaction with other people one way or another leads to the bad habit of underestimating their personal or professional qualities. And why all? Yes, because against their background, one’s own failure will no longer seem like some kind of unusual attraction.
Everything again comes down to point number one and the inability to appreciate what has already materialized under our noses. And if you add dissatisfaction with your entire life to this cocktail, then the personality will safely demonstrate a steep dive straight into the spectrum of degradation.
What are the reasons for such a reaction to others and to reality in general?
- Inflated self-esteem (only I can do it perfectly, not you slaves);
- The desire to assert oneself at the expense of other people and the lack of faith in prospects beyond the horizon (an environment that repeats “ Nothing will work! My grandfather lived badly, I will live the same way and this will affect you!", news and watching TV).
What to replace the harmful feeling with?
1. Gratitude
By being grateful for blessings, you will multiply the gifts you have acquired. And besides, you will open up the prospect of becoming a calm, balanced person.
Observe people who like to express their dissatisfaction visually: to speak out about how everything infuriates, irritates and worries them.
Make a special note of them in your head appearance. A face disfigured by a grimace of anger and solid negative emotions. Do you want to look the same, attracting bad events into your life?
2. Satisfaction
I advise you to always enjoy the work that touches either your mind, or your hands, or everything in combination. Only in this case, there is simply no reason to inject yourself, nor is there time to monitor others.
Refrain from negative comments for at least a day! And you will see that he was beautiful, and the mark with emotional charge“minus” is only given by thoughts in the head.
3. Joy
Learn to see the pleasant in small and insignificant details. The sun, nature, life with its mass pleasant surprises, V right time and in the right place they will always give you a reason to rejoice.
Dear readers, express love and recognition, gratitude and generosity to the world, believe me, it will reciprocate you.
See you on the blog, bye-bye!
