In my notes, I shared an article - research data that showing negative emotions “for relaxation” is erroneous and does not lead to inner harmony.

So what do you do with negative emotions?

The most common emotions that destroy us are anger, anger, irritation, fear, resentment, jealousy, shame, guilt, grief.

In this article, I will focus on the first of them, i.e. consider emotions anger, anger and irritation.

These emotions tend to arise when someone acts in a way that we don't like. There are 2 options.

• 1. When someone's actions really violate our boundaries(for example, someone without our permission and consent uses our things or time, or behaves really offensively towards us).
• 2. Dactions do not violate our boundaries, but nevertheless provoke anger in us or irritation(for example, close person does with his life what we do not like, or someone is offended in our presence).

In the first option, the emerging energy of anger should not be suppressed. It will be right to use this energy to protect your borders, transforming it into courage. You need to do this without aggression, politely but firmly articulate what you don’t like, and strongly ask the offender not to repeat this again.

The problem arises when, instead of transforming into courage to protect our boundaries, anger is suppressed and goes inward, and we are afraid to tell the “offender” what we don’t like or, on the contrary, show it through aggression towards him and claims.

Let's take a look at both of these cases. from the first option (a real violation of our borders).

1. For some reason we are afraid to defend our borders.
   Perhaps we are afraid of even more aggression and conflict, or we are afraid of losing a relationship, being fired, or some other change in our life. In this case, suppressing anger seems justified, but it is wrong and ultimately leads to more big problems. It will be useful learn self-love and self-respect, because with the development of these qualities, there is an understanding that you cannot allow others to treat you badly, no matter who they are. It will be a mistake if, instead of learning to love yourself, you try to redirect this repressed aggression somewhere. You will attract people who will “offend” you until you pass the lesson on developing self-esteem and self-love.
2. In a situation where it seems to us that we are being “offended”, we immediately respond with counter aggression starting to blame a person for his shortcomings.
   But such tactics never lead to improved relationships and spiritual harmony. Anger expressed in this way will destroy relationships, and our health, and our destiny.
   The reason for this behavior lies in the fact that there is not enough unconditional love to another person and accepting him as he is, with all his shortcomings. Otherwise, we would calmly, without negativity towards him and aggression, defend our borders.

What to study here?
To love and accept others unconditionally, to understand that each person is free to choose how to live. Remember the rule: "Judge not, lest you be judged" or "Let him who is without sin throw a stone." No one was born to live up to our expectations.

And we have no right to punish a person with aggression for doing something wrong from our point of view. Your goal is simply not to let it destroy you, harm you. To do this, it is not at all necessary to strike back, it will be enough to calmly and with self-respect learn to defend your borders and have the courage to change your life if necessary.

Now let's look at the second option - actions do not violate our boundaries, but nevertheless provoke anger in us or irritation. There are 3 main reasons why this happens:

1. There is something in ourselves that we do not want to see and recognize in ourselves, but when we see this quality in others, it irritates us very much. For example, if I cannot afford to rest, if the house is not cleaned, then the person who does this will annoy me. This is how the mechanism of “psychological projection” works. The cure for this is introspection, awareness of the underlying causes of one's emotions, acceptance of oneself with all one's imperfections, development of unconditional love for oneself and others.
2. The way another person lives seems wrong to us, and we consider ourselves entitled to feel (and even express!) to him our dissatisfaction with what decisions he makes, what choices he makes. Often this applies to spouses and grown children. This is based on fear and disbelief in their ability to live their own destiny. Treatment is to get rid of excessive responsibility for the lives of other people, to learn to trust the ability of each person to live the fate in the way he needs, to get rid of fears.
3. There is a reason why expressing anger is justified - if in your presence injustice is being done to other people. And then this anger gives energy to protect them from this injustice. It is only important that you keep inner peace, and anger was expressed only on the external level. Remember the rule - "condemn the sin, but love the sinner."

Such negative emotions as irritation, anger, anger, as a rule, show us our own imperfection and development zone. These are just lessons that come to us through other people. If these lessons are correctly understood and passed through, then these emotions will easily be transformed at the moment of occurrence.

Remember that “no one is your friend, no one is your enemy. Every person is your teacher." You need to learn unconditional love and acceptance of yourself and others. It's not easy, but absolutely real, you just have to set yourself such a goal.

Finally - nice idea from W. Dyer:

if you crush an orange, the only thing you get is orange juice. Not tomato, not plum, just orange.
So is life - no matter how it crushes a person, if love is inside him, then this is the only thing that he will show. What's inside, so outside. :)))

Remember, if something happening around you causes negative emotions in you, then you don’t need to try to suppress them or do something with this world and “imperfect” people. You need to change yourself, develop your soul, and then the reasons for the appearance of these negative emotions will disappear.

Creflo Dollar

3 John 1:2 Beloved! I pray that you are healthy and prosperous in everything, as your soul prospers».

Man is a spiritual being. He has a soul and lives in a physical body. We know that a person possesses, not only the spirit. The soul is that part of a person where thinking takes place, where decisions are made and emotions sound. We know that as the thoughts in a man's heart are, so is he. We know how important it is for a person to have charitable thoughts in his head. We can make a decision. The Bible teaches that we can choose between life and death, between a blessing or a curse. We have not yet learned that our emotions do not control our lives and decisions.

When Adam saw the fruit, he was very attractive. His emotions took him where he shouldn't have gone. Emotions are internal sensations caused by pain or pleasure. Emotions are. They are inside the person. Emotions lead you in a certain direction. If your thinking is in line with God's Word, then you will not feel insecure and seek to manipulate people. If you cannot manage your negative emotions, then you will try to manage what God did not instruct you to manage, i.e. other people. Your emotions follow your thoughts. Satan is trying through negative emotions and thinking to keep you away from God's will for your life. And when you find yourself in a terrible place, you wonder, how did I get here? We just don't pay attention to emotions. And they should have.

It is clear that the righteous will live by faith. But you have emotions. If you don't learn to control them, they will control you. Adam was not at the mercy of his emotions until his wife wanted to look at that attractive fruit, and showed him and gave him food. And they ate it. And on the basis of their decision, they went out of obedience to God. Their emotional decision led everyone to our present situation. Proclaim: I am in control of my emotions. My, both positive and negative emotions, do not control me. I will not make negative emotional decisions and I will not let my emotions rule my life. And take me away from God's will. Amen.

Feeling of powerlessness. You must have had that feeling. There is no worse feeling in the world than when you are powerless. Feelings of powerlessness are root of negative emotions, all our lives. If you want to get rid of all this - from anger at yourself, leading to depression, self-condemnation, then you have to get rid of the very root of the problem. Hot temper, anger, anger, depression - these are all things we don't like to talk about in church. We love to show ourselves cheerful, clap our hands, sing and dance. It's great when you're here, but when you get home, negative emotions often take over.

I've met people, counseled couples who felt they weren't capable of making a difference. In a marital relationship where there are problems, you need to change not your spouse, but yourself. To fix any relationship, you need to change yourself. But when you feel powerless negative emotions fill you.

The devil is trying to convince us on several points to make you believe that you cannot change:

1. that you can't change your circumstances

2. that you can't change your character

You must have met people who say: "I just have such a character. That's how my parents raised me." Not! You can change your character.

3. that you can't change your weaknesses

He convinces you that you cannot quit smoking. And if you quit, you will immediately get fat. You are simply being deceived. He convinced you and makes you support by any means.

You can change everything through God's will. You will change your character, put your emotions in order if you love people. When you are weak, Jesus promises to make you strong. God has given you the right to make changes in your life. You have power over negative emotions, over life circumstances. One must be clothed in a physical body in order to have power on this planet. Demons do not have such power on this earth due to their incorporeality, so they try to take possession of someone in order to gain power through a person. Without a body, we have no power. God Jesus Christ also had to obey this law, which is why He had to be born of a virgin in order to put on a body. God establishes laws, and having established them, He Himself obeys them.

There are so many troubles on earth because people do not find time to pray to God, to appeal to Him. If you do not take the time to involve God in your life circumstances, He will not participate in them. Yes, He is powerful enough, but if you do not allow Him to work in your life, He will not insist. Every day I thank God that He is involved in my life, in the life of my family. Drop this false humility: "Oh God, I know I'm not worthy, I can't tell You what to do." You don't have to tell Him what to do, you have to release the blessings He has already given you. Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven. Nothing happens in heaven until you do it down there. You have been given the power to change circumstances through God's Word. You have been given the power to cast out demons, to bind, which work through people, harming you. But if you don't, you will never use the authority that was rightfully given to you as children of God.

You have the power, and you put up with what you don't have to put up with. We hear people say "it's not possible..." and we believe them. And the Bible has long written that we have power.

God gave man two gifts - seed and power. The right to lead, manage the garden, the right to be in this power. And what did the man do? Man gave his power to Satan. Satan became the god of this world. God couldn't do anything about it, because He can't break His Word. God cannot go against his Word. Now that Satan has gained dominion, man no longer has dominion over the earth. God will not do anything on this earth, because man himself gave what he had. After Jesus was born on this earth, God took power away from Satan. And now the devil is again looking for that same Adam, who himself will voluntarily give him power, who will believe his word. Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil and take away from him all power on earth.

You don't have to suffer. No rumors, no knives in the back will hurt you. Because you have the power to change everything that has happened. God has given us all authority to step on snakes and scorpions, and nothing will harm you. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and world rulers of darkness.

Win, no matter how difficult it is for you, get together and act! Proclaim that you have power! Conquer your negativism of emotion in order to become like Christ in everything.

No matter how hard we try, sometimes it is difficult for us to avoid negative emotions. Or maybe not? What to do with them and how to deal with them? This is what we are talking about today.

negative emotions can lie in wait for us around every corner. There are times when you feel like you're about to explode or fall on your neighbor, or when any little thing can annoy you. But negative emotions are not limited to anger and irritation: fear, envy, despondency - this is not the whole spectrum. So how do you deal with emotions so as not to harm yourself or the interlocutor? How to curb yourself? Let's take a closer look at the possible options for working with the negative.

How to get rid of negative emotions?

Accept your emotions. Unfortunately, we are often set up from childhood that we shouldn’t experience negative emotions, we shouldn’t cry and “give slack”, we are condemned for showing the so-called “wrong” emotions, and as we grow up, we learn to block them. However, it is very important to understand that emotions are a kind of signal of your psyche, a response to environment and external stimuli. Therefore, it is necessary to accept the fact that it is not worth subjectively dividing them into good and bad. it useful information that needs to be learned to read. Do not scold or reproach yourself for them, because in this way you only increase the amount of negativity you experience, going in circles. Allow yourself to experience them, don't try to get rid of them. This does not mean that being angry with unpleasant person, you can give free rein to your emotions and lash out at him, no. This means the fact of accepting these emotions. Are you choking with tears, but you can't afford them because "men don't cry" or "you have to be strong/strong"? Nothing like this. Let the negativity out. It's no secret that after crying, a person really gets better.

How to let go of negative emotions

Feeling intense anger or irritation? Offended by misunderstanding? Often in these situations we have desire throw something against the wall, smashing it to smithereens, or scatter things, making a real mess. You can give an outlet to such negativity, but it is not at all necessary to do all of the above.

Redirect your energy and negative emotions to another, more useful channel. For example, you can "let off steam" in the gym. Sport allows many people to cope with negative emotions, because apart from the fact that it is excellent and very useful way to give an outlet to emotions, also during sports, endorphins are produced in our body - hormones of happiness. great way cheer up, right?

And plus everything, in big cities today you can find excellent services for those who want to release their anger - services for breaking dishes. Therefore, if you still want to smash something to smithereens, think about this option as well.

Another possible variant“redirecting” emotions in a different direction is humor. A complete reconfiguration of emotions for laughter, which, like playing sports, also contributes to the production of endorphins in our body, which means it will also make you a little happier. You must have seen, if not in real life, then in movies, that people tend to suddenly burst out laughing in difficult, and sometimes hopeless circumstances, and there is every reason for that.

Living negative emotions

Also, you can try a completely different way to eliminate negative emotions. Try to take advantage of the situation that caused you such an emotional reaction, perceive it as a new experience gained. Angry at a friend for being late? But you have a couple of extra minutes to breathe in the fresh spring air or admire the world around you, or maybe you will have time to finish the last couple of pages of the book and not have to postpone it for later. Are you offended by your partner because he does not want to go to a noisy party with you, but prefers to stay at home? It doesn't matter, think about how many opportunities you have to spend time alone with your loved one. There are always many opportunities, in any situation, just try not to be led by your negative emotions. As soon as you see the benefits in the current situation, negative emotions will dissolve by themselves.

And if everything is easy enough with acceptance, then understanding them is much more difficult. When experiencing negativity, try to figure it out by asking yourself the right questions, where did this negativity come from and why? When you get mad at a friend for being late to a meeting, think maybe you're really angry because you can't control the situation? It is very important to understand what motivates you to experience negative emotions, because with an understanding of the reasons comes an understanding of what to do next. For example, in the same situation with a late friend, you will have a choice whether to be angry and offended at the person for not fitting into your ideal picture of the day? The choice is yours.

In addition to the above, there is another possible option for working with negative emotions, and this option will probably require more of your efforts. Take action. Once you understand the cause and nature of your negative emotions, you can actively work with them. So, even having understood the true reason for your irritation towards a friend who is late, try to talk to him, explain how this situation affects you. Or, perhaps, you are offended by your husband / wife for the fact that he (a) gives you little time and attention? Try to talk to the person, use dialogue to explain the situation to your partner and talk about what exactly offends you. Together, you can certainly solve this problem, and with the solution of the problem, negative emotions will also go away. Of course, it is much easier to be offended quietly, accumulating resentment and other negativity in oneself than to find the strength in oneself for a frank conversation, and often we consciously prefer to remain captive to negative, but such habitual emotions.

As you can see, there is various ways dealing with negative emotions. You can give them an outlet, redirect them in a different direction, work through them or the current situation, but the main thing that you need to learn for the future is that there are no bad emotions, and that it is normal to experience negative emotions, because you are alive. human.

Feeling anger sometimes is normal, as long as you don’t push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything and everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How abnormal and not able to control it. Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and dumping nothing on others. How to do this?

Emotions are lived only through the body - analysis by the brain does not give anything. Because they live in the body and exit through the body. If you think and analyze, then I understand everything with my head, but it still infuriates me.

For example, you have a difficult relationship with your mother. And if you only let off steam and scream into the pillow, without changing anything in your attitude towards your mother, then this is pointless. This is the same as taking painkillers for a toothache and not going to the doctor. You need to take care of your teeth, right? And relationships need to be healed. This is primary. justify;"> We will talk most of all about anger, because it is not clear what to do with it and where to put it. And one way or another, in any complex interweaving of emotions, there is a lot of anger. The way out of many difficult states, such as feelings of guilt and resentment, occurs through anger. And refusing to live it, we cannot go further.

But I ask you to separate anger as a momentary emotion that comes naturally when things don't go your way (that's the nature of anger) and anger as a character trait, which is anger. Feeling anger sometimes is normal, as long as you don’t push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything and everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How crazy and not able to control it.

Controlling anger does not mean not feeling it or suppressing it.

Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and nothing being dumped on others. Imagine that anger is a natural waste product of the body, like overcooked food. What happens if you consider this case "dirty" and stop going to the toilet? Forbid yourself to do it? What will be the outcome? Maybe our task is to create such a “toilet” for emotions too – a place where we do something calmly and safely, without harming anyone?

And I beg you to avoid premature spirituality in emotions. This is when it boils and hurts inside, and from above we crush it all with the word “no” and delve into the reasons. Most often, this is how we treat other people's feelings, they say, I'll tell you now why you flew by karma! Causes are sought after the emotion is released. It will be much easier for you to see all this with a sober head. First, live. Or let a person live, help him in this.

And now let's get started. I want to divide the ways of experiencing emotions into constructive and destructive. Those that are harmless and those that hurt someone.

Destructive ways:

Pour on other people, especially those who "passed by."

At work, the boss got it, but you can’t say it in his face, so we come home - and it hits the cat, which turned up under the arm, that is, under the leg, or the child who again brought the “troika”. Familiar? And it seems that you will yell and it will become easier, but then comes the feeling of guilt - after all, a cat or a child has nothing to do with it.

Rudeness.

In the same situation, when the boss drove him into a rage, but the anger remained inside, you can not deliver this bomb to the house, knowing that it will explode there. And pour out your anger on the saleswoman who works slowly and makes a mistake, on those who stepped on your foot or crossed the road, and at the same time on those who are very annoying with a happy face. And also of little use. Even if there is no feeling of guilt, the negative emotions of another person, on whom all this is poured out, will definitely return to us one day. Again. And so they go back and forth, while we are rude to each other.

Trolling on the Internet

This method seems to be safer and more unpunished. An anonymous page without an avatar, even if with an avatar, will not be found and beaten for sure. The boss brought it out - you can go to someone's page and write disgusting - they say, what an ugly thing! Or write nonsense! Or provoke some controversy on difficult topic, pouring mud on opponents, poking them with a needle in different places to inflict pain. But the law of karma works here, even if the laws of the state are not yet everywhere.

eat sweets

Another way, which, by the way, we often see in films. When a heroine is abandoned by a loved one or cheats on her, what does she do? I have this picture in front of my eyes: a crying girl in bed is watching a movie and eating a huge can of ice cream. The harm of such an event, I think, is clear to many.

Swear

Another way may look like this: you get rude, and you are rude in return. The husband came to yell at you - and you yell at him too. You seem to be honest. The person is the cause of your negative feelings, you need to urgently express them. But by doing so, you only fan the fire, intensify the conflict, and nothing good comes from this. A quarrel always takes out all our strength, including all hidden reserves, and we remain devastated and unhappy after it. Even if the dispute is won.

beat someone

Again - children, dogs, husband, boss (well, you never know). Any person who is the cause of your anger or just came to hand. Corporal punishment for children, during the emotional breakdown of parents, is very traumatic. They provoke in the child both a feeling of humiliation and a reciprocal hatred that he cannot express in any way. If you hit your husband, then you can get change, which, unfortunately, is not uncommon. And I've seen statistics that about half of women who have experienced domestic violence are the first to start a fight, not expecting a man to fight back. This does not justify men, but it does not honor women either.

Suppress

There is a belief that anger is bad. The more religious a woman is, the more she suppresses anger. He pretends not to piss her off, smiles stiffly at everyone, and so on. Further, anger has two ways out - to explode in a safe place (again at home, on loved ones) - and she will not be able to control this. And the second option is to hit her health and body. It seems to me that it is no coincidence that today so many people die precisely from cancer, this is a disease of unlived emotions, which many psychologists have repeatedly written about.

Break dishes and break things

On the one hand, the method is constructive. It's better to break a plate than hit a child. And of course sometimes you can use it. But if we destroy some things on our way, then we need to understand that then all this will need to be restored. My husband once destroyed his laptop in a rage. It was a terrible sight, and then I had to buy new computer. This is costly, and therefore less constructive than we would like.

Slam the door

It seems to me that this method is dear to many teenagers. And I remember myself like that, and in places I already see children like that. In principle, not the worst way. Only once I slammed the door so hard that the glass broke in it. And so nothing special.

Beat with words

You don't always need hands to hit a person. We women are good at doing it with words. Poke in pain points, sting, tease - and then pretend that we are not to blame and nothing to do with it. The more dirt we have inside us, the sharper and more caustic our tongue is. I remember myself, before, when I didn’t know where to put my feelings, I constantly teased everyone. Many called me an "ulcer", I could not help myself. I thought it was funny.

The more I learn to feel the feelings, the softer my speech becomes. And the less any kind of "studs" in it. Because it does not give anything good to anyone. For a couple of minutes, you can feed your ego and at the same time destroy relationships and earn karmic reactions.

Revenge

Often in a fit of anger it seems that if we take revenge and wash away the shame with the blood of the enemy, we will feel better. I know that some women during a quarrel with their husband, to spite him, have sex with someone, for example. A blessed option, which many consider acceptable, especially if the husband has cheated. But what's the bottom line? Revenge only exacerbates the conflict and increases the distance between us. Revenge is different - subtle and rough. But none of them are useful. Nobody.

Sex

Not the most The best way discharge, although it is physical. Because sex is still an opportunity to show love for each other, and not use each other as exercise equipment. Our mood during intimacy greatly affects our relationship in general. And casual connections with just anyone, for relaxation, are not only not useful, but also harmful.

shopping

Women often go to the store in upset feelings. And they buy a lot of unnecessary things there. Sometimes they even deliberately spend more money than necessary in order to take revenge, for example, on their husband. But it turns out that at this time we are using the resources that are given to us for good deeds - that is, money - at random and trying to harm others with their help. What will be the result? Resources will run out. And what they were spent on will not be useful. The dress you bought in anger will soak up your condition and make it difficult for you to wear it.

The list turned out to be impressive, not entirely joyful, but nevertheless, most often this is exactly what we do. Because we do not have a culture of dealing with feelings. We were not taught this, they never talk about it anywhere - they only ask us to put our feelings out of sight. And that's it.

Constructive ways of experiencing emotions:

Let the feelings be.

Sometimes - and by the way, very often, to experience a feeling, it is enough to see it, call it by its name and accept it. That is, in a moment of anger, say to yourself: “Yes, I am very angry now. And that's okay." This is very difficult for all those who have been told that this is not normal (because it is inconvenient for others). It’s hard to admit that you are angry now, although it is written on your face. It is difficult to say that this also happens. Sometimes it's hard to understand, but what is this feeling? I remember in constellations a girl whose jaws were trembling, her hands tensed into fists, and she called her feelings “sadness”. Learning to understand what it feels like is a matter of practice and time. For example, you can watch yourself. At critical moments, look in the mirror to understand what is on your face, follow the signs of the body, observe the tension in the body and the signals in it.

Stomp.

In traditional Indian dances, a woman stomps a lot, it is not so noticeable, because she dances barefoot. But in this way, through energetic movements, all tension leaves the body and goes into the ground. We often laugh at Indian films, where from any events - good or bad - they dance, but there is a special truth to this. Live any feelings through the body. Allow anger to run through you as you vigorously vent it through energetic stomps. By the way, there are many such movements in Russian folk dances.

It is not necessary to go to the dance section right now (although why not?) Try to close your eyes and, having felt an emotion in your body, “give” it to the ground with the help of stompers. Of course, it is best to stomp while standing on the ground, and not on the tenth floor of a high-rise building. Even better if you can do it barefoot on grass or sand. You will physically feel how much easier it becomes.

And don't think about how it looks. Ideally, of course, if no one sees you and does not distract you. But if there is no such place, close your eyes and stomp.

Scream.

In some trainings, a form of purification such as screaming is practiced. When we scream into the floor, with a partner who helps us, we can also scream into a pillow in any other way. Some important word is usually shouted. For example, "Yes" or "No" - if it suits your emotion. You can just shout "Aaaaaa!". Take a deep breath and then open your mouth and empty your heart that way. So several times, until you feel empty inside.

Sometimes before that they do some kind of “pumping” - at first they breathe very, very quickly, exclusively through the nose.

There are weaknesses in this technique. For example, neighbors and households. The scream is very loud. And if you cannot relax and not worry, then it will not heal. The scream must come from a relaxed throat, otherwise you can seriously break your voice. It is better to try this for the first time somewhere with experienced people, then the effect will be greater.

Speak out.

Women's way. To live any feelings, we really need to talk about it, tell someone. About how the boss offended, and someone on the bus called. Not so much even to get support (which is also nice), but to pour it out of yourself. Approximately because of these people go to psychologists to get everything that corrodes their heart from there. A friend who has been working as a psychologist for a very long time once shared that most of her clients are helped by one simple way. She listens to them, asks questions so that they describe the situation as voluminously as possible, and that’s it. Doesn't give any recipes or advice. Just listening. And often at the end of the conversation, a person has a solution. Of course. It was as if the veil of anger that had been covering his eyes had been removed, and he saw the way.

Women do the same with each other, speaking out. There are only two points here. You can't tell anyone about your family life- about the problems in it. Otherwise, these problems can be exacerbated. And if they tell you something, you should not give advice. Just listen. By the way, you can organize a circle in which women share all their emotions - and then somehow symbolically say goodbye to them (which is often done in women's groups).

Be careful not to dump all your emotions on your husband. He just can't take it. If you talk to your friends, get their consent first. And don't forget to share the good things too (otherwise a friend may feel like a "toilet", which is only needed to drain negative emotions). It's great if you can cry to mom or dad if you have a mentor who listens to you, or a husband who is ready to do this.

Any of our blocks and clamps in the body are unlived emotions. Of course, I'm not talking about light strokes, but about deep work with the body, with force. A high-quality massage that kneads these points helps us cope with emotions. In this place, the main thing - as in childbirth - is to open up to pain. They press you somewhere, you feel pain - breathe and relax towards the pain. Tears may also come out of your eyes - this is normal.

A good massage therapist will immediately see your weak points - and he knows exactly where and how to press in order to remove the clamp. But often it hurts so much that we stop it - and do not move on. Then the massage becomes a pleasant relaxation procedure, but does not contribute to the removal of emotions.

When you are up to date, sometimes you want to hit someone. Husband, for example, or spank a child. Try at this moment to switch to the pillow - and beat it with all your heart. The main thing is not to sleep on such a pillow - let it be your sports equipment, which lies separately. You can cry into it. Or you can get yourself a punching bag and gloves. Also an option, however, it requires free space at home.

Beat the couch with a rolled up towel.