I was thinking about how to achieve maximum result from your employees. Increasing labor productivity has always been the most important and challenging task for leaders at all times.
Managers solve this problem in different ways: some pay a lot of money, others train and develop their staff, others come up with different systems. Every sales organization has super sellers whom everyone looks up to with admiration and respect. These people show results many times above average. What sets them apart from the rest? How do they manage to do more? And most importantly, how to transfer their experience to others? We will try to find answers to these questions in this article.
First you need to figure out what distinguishes super sellers from the rest of the sales staff? I’ll say right away that we will not consider parameters that we cannot influence, for example: age, education, gender, work experience, etc. Let's consider only as well as .
Knowledge
Do the best salespeople know the product better than others? On the one hand, it would be logical that the one who knows better sells more, but in practice everything is not so straightforward. Most of the outstanding sellers reached their level very quickly, while certification shows that many have a below average level of knowledge. This applies to both the product and the product that needs to be sold. Very often, a great seller cannot answer simple questions: ? and so on. Therefore, a tool such as training will not be able to seriously affect the number of sales. Naturally, in every organization, employees must be trained, and the better the training system is set up, the easier and faster your employees will achieve high results. Naturally, the level of knowledge must be checked at least once a quarter; naturally, you must conduct training to improve your skills and to master a new product or to refresh your knowledge on a seasonal product.
Skills
Motivation
You can talk about motivation for a very long time, divide it into types and subtypes and show the importance of motivation. Only one thing is important - the best salespeople are people with very strong internal motivation. You need to understand that any result, including a large number of sales can only be achieved through hard work. And the more an employee works, the more he sells. The problem is that the seller has a lot of excuses for his poor results and it is difficult to verify them. For example, at a factory everything is simple, the result can be assessed in quantity finished products and so on. Sales in this regard are more difficult process, some customers need to be led to a purchase for a very long time and only after days and months do we see the result.
It is clear that a manager cannot stand behind the seller’s back all day and monitor whether he is selling correctly, but these are not always applicable and it is important to ensure that the seller himself is interested in a high result. Naturally, there are a lot of methods for monitoring and evaluating personnel, there is also such a wonderful tool as “mystery shoppers,” but all this does not motivate people, but simply gives you an understanding of the current situation. Probably everyone has come across sellers who are uninterested in selling, who simply did not want to communicate with you and seemed to be deliberately dissuading you from buying. The seller has a lot of opportunities to avoid communication with the client or make this communication short and ineffective. That is why motivation must come from within and the stronger it is, the better.
Exactly strong intrinsic motivation is the main one distinctive features strong seller.
But how to create strong internal motivation?
First, you need to understand what the employee is motivated by, how he breathes and lives, and if he doesn’t have strong motivators, then help him find them. Then you need to connect this motive with the goals of the company, then all that remains is to maintain this motivation.
It is important to understand that most people, without your help, are not able to force themselves to work; in order to understand this, you just need to look around and see how many beggars and poor people there are around. What prevents these people from changing their fate and receiving a decent salary? Nothing but your own laziness and unwillingness to work and change yourself. Most are not ready to leave the comfort zone they are in.
Summarizing
In order to achieve the maximum from the seller, the manager needs to solve several complex problems.
- Build a training system so that knowledge is easily absorbed by sellers;
- When training, devote 80% of your time to practice, trying to instill sales skills. Train sellers nonverbal communication and rhetoric, and sometimes psychology;
- The line manager is required to devote a lot of time to motivating staff. Applying both individual and group motivation;
I would like to draw attention to the fact that not everyone is born for sales and many will not be able to become outstanding salesmen due to a lack of talent. Therefore, spend more time on those who have a predisposition to sales, this is well written in the book “First, break all the rules. What the world's best managers do differently by Marcus Buckingham and Kurt Coffman.
Current page: 1 (book has 14 pages total) [available reading passage: 10 pages]
Nikolay Kurdyumov
Your Garden: How to Maximize Yield = Garden Savvy
© Kurdyumov N. I., photo, text, 2013
© Publishing House "Vladis", ill., 2015
© LLC Publishing House AST, 2016
Chapter 1
Success is normal (my applied philosophy)
It's not easy to rise above yourself,
And everyone can hardly handle it.
But we are all so tall
What ceiling did you choose?T. Smirnova
I always feel great pleasure when meeting with in successful ways life. You can’t, you can’t, and suddenly – there is! Impossible, unthinkable, but here - here it is! Everyone got used to it, got into it, absorbed “patience and work…” with mother’s milk, but one took it and didn’t believe it, checked it, thought about it and bang! - did an order of magnitude better. And it couldn’t be simpler—how didn’t you think of it before?! The most interesting thing is what comes next. Then friends admired it, the press made a fuss, science criticized it, and success quietly sank to the bottom. And for major successes you often have to fight, and brutally. Success does not take root in our world. Why? Well, the holders of power and science cannot live with people who do not need their control and care. Politicians will not be able to sell anything to them: their income rests on our inability and helplessness. But success is the essence of life itself. Achievements, like seeds, settle, wait, but then germinate. Progress still happens, and only because someone once showed: this is both better and simpler.
Examples include darkness in different areas.
At the end of the century before last, agronomist I. Ovsinsky tripled yields and completely eliminated the problem of drought in his fields, using his no-till farming system. It created a sensation and sank into the abyss of the arable crop rushing forward. Read more about this in “Mastery of Fertility.” No-till farmers are following in his footsteps. Their result is high yields with triple profitability. About their experience - “Peace instead of protection.”
A contemporary of Ovsinsky, the legendary fruit grower Nikolai Gaucher worked with trees so delicately that he gave them any shape and created branches or fruits anywhere at his discretion. Thank God, he wrote a detailed thick manual, which I found out about by chance and found it with difficulty in the library storage room. There will be a chapter about his art.
I.V. Michurin worked just as successfully with heredity fruit crops. He learned to direct the development of hybrids in the right direction. He showed how to bring varieties to reliable fruiting in each specific area. I am sure that if his program had been implemented, we would not have bad and unfruitful gardens at all.
And what about V. Fokina’s flat cutter? A simple staple is lighter than a hoe, but performs twenty operations, replacing all garden tools, except, perhaps, a sprayer and a shovel.
Brothers, the state does not need our success. Let be! But no one prevents us from applying it, being interested in it, creating it for ourselves personally. Amazingly, we studiously ignore all these achievements. We don't even try to find out about them. Our success rate is unforgivably low. My experience shows: everything that is considered normal and familiar is at best a tenth of what is possible. But these ascetics shouted with all their might: “People, I could do it, and I know for sure that you can too! Just want it, and everything will work out!..” And then five years ago it hit me: success is a way of thinking. And technology that can be learned.
Mastering success is a topic for a separate book. Success has its own anatomy, of which it is appropriate to mention only the main thing here.
The old woman from Chorzow saw nothing good from her nieces, and day after day she beat them with a belt in order to achieve something good.
Two problems prevent us from getting closer to success: the inability to see the result 1
The result is a goal visible in detail, in all details, and that is why achieved.
And the fear of being self-determined 2
Self-determination - I mean the ability to decide everything for yourself, up to the invention of your own methods, methods and “ scientific laws" The main thing is that they improve life – both yours and those around you.
Both, by the way, are not at all natural properties mind, but its artificially created flaws. This is nice: it means you can get rid of them. The result is when you see in detail how it should be, plus the desire to achieve it. There should be a pumpkin here: orange, 80 kg, it will lie here, by the path, and everyone will admire it, and then I will make marshmallows out of it and give it to all my friends... My son will become healthy, developed, independent and sociable, and he will not have problems with his studies... With this woman we will live in perfect harmony and raise four beautiful children...
Law: if there is a reasonable goal and there is no doubt, everything turns out inevitably. If the goals coincide, it becomes a good partnership. If there are no goals, we give them to those who have them. And we find ourselves as pieces in someone else’s game.
Law: Without presenting the exact result, it is impossible to invent ways to obtain it. Simpler: it is always unclear how to do something that is not clear. Fact: It turns out that we almost never think it will work out. Moreover, we often have no idea what to think about it! How many people imagine exactly what this tree will be like? This garden? Company, home, husband, family, your health, business?..
The opposite of result is process, or turnover. This is when everyone together feels spiritual comfort, entrusting their results to others - superiors, morality, religion, relatives, each other... We live in a process: we go to doctors, sit at a desk, get married, get divorced, mutilate our body, dig a garden. The success here is clearly not ours, but those whom we trust and pay, for whom we work. But at least you can complain about life together, and this is such a thrill!
It’s hard to imagine that you decide everything, absolutely everything for yourself solely on your own?.. But that’s exactly what a normal person does, man of sense. And that's why he's successful.
The habit of giving our decisions to others, otherwise “believing in...”, leads us to a really funny situation: we spend hours, months, years doing what we are absolutely convinced of (because we were convinced!), but we get something completely different what we want, and we manage not to see it! More than one generation has graduated from schools without learning anything, and universities without mastering a profession. Never once did rudeness and cruelty achieve the final goal, but habit is stronger. Not a single patient became healthy by visiting doctors. Where does such naivety come from?
Afraid of being responsible for ourselves, we see the reasons for failure in someone or something else, somewhere outside. But this is a pure illusion. Only what happens to you is what you imagine to be yourself, within yourself. If there are decisions and aspirations, they come true. If there are doubts, doubts come true. If you believe someone in order to push responsibility onto him, it is not your intentions that come true, but his intentions: after all, he came up with it, and you simply agreed.
– I want to have everything!
- Okay, have it your way. You had it all!
Dialogue with Goldfish
It turns out that this world is organized simply and fairly. You yourself, your emotions, your importance and values right now are an order to the Universe, the Lord, the Cosmos, whatever you want. And it always gets done. The problem is one thing: we don’t realize what we really want, and therefore we don’t know what we order. We are disingenuous with ourselves, brothers.
Ordering is not what you think in your head. Everyone can think beautifully! And what you really feel. What you really are. There’s a guy tearing his shirt: “I love you!!!”, but there’s no sign of love... In fact, he’s accusing: “You don’t love me!” Well, if he asks you not to love, we will respect you... Or Aunt Motya over there, she won’t leave the clinic: “I really, really want not to get sick! - he says, - but the damned disease does not go away...” Well, have it your way - let the disease not go away. “Damn, there’s no money again!..” - okay, okay, we’ll do as you ask. “They don’t care about me!..” - as you say, dear, as you say. Well, there is no refusal from the Universe for anything, even if you cry!
If you rejoice, you get what you rejoice at. Live as if you already have it - and it comes. Get angry, irritated, tense - you get what you get angry at. You demand it and you get it. After all, a demand is essentially a refusal: “it doesn’t exist.” What you fear comes. What is given is exactly what you cycle on, what knocks you out, touches you, what attention stuck– it doesn’t matter whether it makes you happy, infuriates you or drives you into depression. Because any emotion is already an intention.
Therefore, never look for excuses outside - look within yourself. And so useful tool search: if something doesn’t work out for you, then you need to do something completely different, regardless of your feelings and beliefs. And if it’s deeper, you have to feel something else, believe in something else. It is your current beliefs that have led to failure.- it’s a fact! So why are you holding on to them?..
Whatever one may say, to become successful, you must not be afraid to become different. It's simple, brothers. Our beliefs are our own blinders and “carrots for the donkey.” They are “faithful,” which means we need them exactly as much as they create our personal happiness and delight those around us. That's the whole “algebra of harmony.” You see that you are not happy - take off these blinders, free yourself! Friends say it simpler: be yourself.
What is happiness? Probably a lot of it is anticipation. The feeling of movement, the desire to achieve, to grow, the feeling of growth, of one’s strength and the pleasant tingling of a new skin, which is great to flaunt until a new goal dawns.
Intelligence is the ability to see results and create your own success. Every time I meet a successful gardener, this is exactly what I see. Usually such a person respects himself very much. He is inquisitive and observant. He has no blinders on his eyes. He does not like to work in vain, but loves to think, achieve success and relax. Appreciates convenience and beauty. He only does what he decides to do. Is not obliged to. Does not depend. Not afraid. He perceives life and his person with humor. Doesn't follow standards, but creates them. It's terribly interesting to be with him!
Dacha is smart and stupid
It's hard to do nothing.
But we are not afraid of difficulties!
In my experience, dacha situation in general, it is as follows: 10% of actions are aimed specifically at the result, another 30% are directed against the result, and 60% are aimed at combating these thirty. Well, that’s how aware we are of what we want and what we do. I think we are just as effective in other things.
Summer residents belong mainly to two opposing camps. The first ones are looking for pleasure and relaxation at the dacha. Let's call them romantics. For the latter, the dacha is an opportunity to grow food: what a vacation it is, the weeds are growing! These are realists, they are also workaholics.
Romantics are now a clear minority. And they would have a good rest, but “workaholism” - contagious disease. Its two main forms - planting and digging disease - are easily transmitted through contact and through popular scientific literature on gardening. And romantics are becoming infected in droves. Women who are obsessively inclined to order are more likely than men. Among men, former good and excellent students who believe in the printed word are especially vulnerable.
A typical situation arises: the wife is a realist, and the husband has no choice but to become a militant romantic. The dacha is covered with stumbling blocks, and apples of discord ripen in bags right on the bushes of potatoes devoured by the beetle. We are faced with the so-called female dacha syndrome (WDS). We will mention these “diseases” later.
So: both of them treat the dacha, in my opinion, not optimally. After all, in its essence, the dacha is our cohabitant, that is, a symbiont 3
Symbiosis is a mutually beneficial cohabitation in nature. Ants and aphids, fungus and algae in lichen, us and our intestinal bacteria. In fact, symbioses are superorganisms, or superorganisms. Symbionts are essentially “organs” of a superorganism.
Our plants are the same as friends, favorite pets or relatives (if, of course, they are your friends). This is a partnership. But not every cohabitation is a partnership.
Firstly, partnership is communication and mutual interest. Imagine that you are friends according to the instructions: I read it, said the text, did something, no answer is needed, what’s next in the text?.. Absurd! But remember: this is exactly how, or almost like this, we feed our babies. Not an equal, not a partner - a subject for feeding. Kindergarten - where children are raised in garden beds. So different - the same, like plants. But even plants are really different, and there will be no partnership if you don’t listen and look closely at their answers. I am already silent about the fact that plants are spiritual beings, and you need to communicate with them. I’m silent because I still don’t really know how...
Secondly, the symbiosis is mutually beneficial. You give the plants what they need, they give you what you need. You are more to them - they are more to you. This is an upward spiral of partnership, each step of which is success. Symbiosis always increases the freedom of both partners. Otherwise there would be no cohabitation in nature. Try to answer the question directly, without beating around the bush: does your garden, your plot, increase your personal freedom? A positive answer is considered honest if you never complain about it.
“But how can you not depend here!? We want a harvest, but give the plants watering, fertilizers and protection!” This is the view of a realist: he knocks out the harvest at any cost. But I don’t want the harvest... I create conditions for the plants to feel good, I interfere minimally - the crop grows on its own. I decided: in any case, I have enough of everything – and that’s enough for me.
Romantics, on the contrary, do not obsessively want to strain themselves: it is easier to buy crops at the market. And rightly so: you get tired enough on weekdays. The only pity is that plants can grow on their own - not the way or the way you want. Without you, the garden quickly grows wild. A minimum of knowledge and effort is required, at least to create a lawn. Otherwise, the garden does not fulfill its main function - to please the owner. Then why is it needed?
The relationship with the garden appears in the form of a graph (Fig. 1).
Rice. 1
Zone 2. You are literate and diligent, but prone to workaholism. Good harvest annoying, but satisfying, and also justifies your complaints about lazy relatives. You already know how to grow plants. All that remains is to move away from the templates and fight unnecessary labor costs!
Zone 3. The main thing is not the harvest, but rest. Great! Buy a mower, lawn the entire garden and sponsor your wife without objection (most romantics are men!) if she wants to grow or build something.
Zone 4. Our ideal. And ten years later I will repeat: I met it only in the form of separate fragments. Respond! I’ll come with a camera and be sure to describe your experience.
Algebra of harmony?..
Work is not a wolf, but a product of force and distance.
How to measure success garden plot? Let's deduce the formula for fun. The numerator is what we get from the plot: harvest, relaxation or pleasure. That is recoil. Divide it by the area, and we get the return with square meter – site efficiency. Usually this is the limit. But this is not success yet! We missed the main thing - you. By creating kilograms and beauty, you can get poisoned with karbofos or get sciatica, quarrel with loved ones, fall out of a tree, and ultimately die from some kind of stroke. A success never requires sacrifice. Therefore, the denominator is your labor and time costs. And most importantly – nerves.
The success of a summer resident = site efficiency / costs, nerve-hours-rubles.
People were not included in the formula for economic indicators of our country. Ultimately, this led to the collapse of our economy. Never forget to include yourself in any formula. Otherwise, the formulas don’t work and the result is a lie. This is the grain of truth for which this arithmetic joke was written.
Chapter 2
How to create a garden that won't have to be remodeled
Utopia of a template garden
Oh no, don’t think about the garden at the table!
Go out of the house and, without fear of obstacles,
Walk around the area with a pencil in your hands,
Imagine general form, and only then sit down.Jacques Delisle
Often in the literature some examples of plans are given, standard circuits bookmarks of gardens. Now, after twelve years of gardening, it is clear to me: such recommendations are practically ineffective. Firstly, all summer residents are different, and it is rare that a prospector will agree to use ready plan. Secondly, all areas are different: the soil is not the same, the road is not there, the slope is different, the forest belt is nearby, etc. And the template does not work. Finally, the seedlings are all different, to such an extent that often the merchant himself, when shot, will not admit what he actually sold. Therefore, model gardens do not really exist. In fact, each gardener is attached to a specific plot and owner. And the diagrams are just general ideas and topics for journals.
The production garden has hectares and equipment. And we only have a few hundred. There the main thing is the cheapness of the work and the effort, here it’s quality and beauty, which is what we are ready to invest in. There are “squares”, but here we have an environment for living with pleasure. In front of the garden is the same apartment, only made of plants. There I planted a string and that was it, but here it’s better not just to plan, but to design.
It doesn’t matter whether there is a garden or not yet. You begin to create it only when you have thought it up, seen it and decided, what this or that piece of it will be like. A goal appears - and the garden becomes interesting to you. But you try to stick it in anyhow, as if according to someone else’s scheme, and you no longer create, which means you don’t inhabit.
The unconscious attitude itself brings chaos. For example, it pushes you to buy a completely unsuitable plot. Or it gives rise to outbreaks of soot disease. Faced with a fascinating variety of cultures and the “concern” of compassionate neighbors (“Well, take it! Such a cherry, it’s such a pity if it goes to waste!”), a person completely loses the ability not to plant everything that comes into his hands. And the more impressionable the nature, the sooner a skinny forest appears where a garden was meant. The cure for this could be a piece of land, about half a hundred, by mutual agreement, given by you to the disposal of the “patient” to create a nice jungle. If, of course, the dacha is registered in your name. And if not... ask for fifty for yourself. If they give it - great, fence them off, sow them with a lawn, introduce a quarantine regime - and be “healthy”!
Apple trees won't bloom on Mars!
The sun is setting...
But in vain!
Tanka
There are different places. Plant a garden in some need to, in others – Can, and in the third it is clear useless, and therefore it is impossible.
Being a Southern gardener, I never thought of writing this chapter. We don’t have any particular problems with this: “stick the shaft in and it grows!” - visitors say. “Yeah, it’s growing, but it’s wildly fattening and bears almost no fruit, it’s a pest!” – I clarify, rubbing my work calluses. What can I say – slight frosts, warm. And the soils are fertile. We need to know one thing for sure: do not plant stone fruits where there is water in the spring. Do not plant them in lowlands where reeds, reeds and sedges grow! The roots are suffocated, frosts flow down here - the garden suffers and slowly dies. Well, it’s even worse if the place is open to blowing dry winds. They blow out moisture here both in winter and in summer. And so - plant anywhere.
But in Siberia a good place for the garden - science, art and a goal not for weak brains. I can only say the main thing, summarizing the opinions of several successful Siberians.
There are very few places in Siberia where it makes sense to plant a garden. These are microzones with a particularly warm and temperate climate. First of all, the banks of large non-freezing rivers, lakes and reservoirs. Water accumulates a lot of heat and softens weather fluctuations. Then - the southern and southeastern basins, valleys between the hills, protected from the winds. Here the sun's heat is captured and stored. I think all steppe places, heated by the sun and protected from the wind by forests, hills and other elevations, are also suitable.
Definitely not suitable for the garden damp lowlands, northern and western hollows of gorges and tracts, wetlands and flooded places, as well as wind-blown steppe regions and hills. Of course, a particularly stubborn enthusiast can invent some methods here: fences, heat storage devices, shelter for the winter, frost-resistant varieties and rootstocks... But this is a feat of labor, which will be discussed in a separate book.
Principles of garden planning (Workshop with steps)
Catching two crocodiles is very simple: catch five, then release three - and you're done!
Step 1
If you really decide to put planning into practice... then I already admire you: you are a model of awareness! Well, then, please, set aside a couple of hours of time. And read this chapter carefully: the modest author wrote it many years after he himself planted the garden at random! But it’s already reluctant and difficult to correct!!! Take paper, different pens and pencils: you will need to make notes, answer questions, and even draw something.
The purpose of this step is to SEE THE GOAL. Just imagine your garden at its most general outline. Details - as the chapter progresses. When it's over, you may end up with a pretty shabby course project. Hang it on the wall and check the completion. And you will see: things will begin to move exactly in the direction planned.
Of course, you can call a specialist. But then use him as a consultant: actively participate in the process yourself. Otherwise, he alone will get both the experience and the creative thrill (the fee no longer counts).
How to develop qualities that help any person to be successful, happy and fulfilled in life? On the one hand, it’s easy to say: “Just be like that and that’s it!” On the other hand, when a person finds himself in a situation where he needs to show such qualities, he forgets about everything and becomes himself.
Courage, determination and self-confidence in themselves do not give a person anything. You can sit within four walls and think that you have similar qualities. However, when a situation arises that requires the manifestation of these character traits, then a person shows how brave, decisive and self-confident he is.
First, you need to define the concepts in order to understand what you need to develop in yourself:
- Courage is a quality when a person, despite all his fears, does not allow them to take over him and continues to act as intended.
- Decisiveness is a categorical determination to achieve results, as well as the ability to make decisions and think for oneself.
- Self-confidence is a person’s faith in his own strengths, understanding of his own capabilities and availability of resources, the conviction that he can cope with whatever he encounters.
So, a person is rarely born into an environment full of abundance of all the goods that he may need. Usually a person is born into a world where he must fight for his own happiness. And the more courageous, decisive and self-confident he is, the more likely he is to achieve what he wants. How can you develop qualities that help you achieve a better life?
How to become bolder?
Courage manifests itself where a person must fight his own fears. To a greater extent, a person is afraid not of what really happens to him, but of what he imagines in his head. So, to become braver, you need to start by understanding that most of your fears are in your head.
Look at reality: is what you are afraid of already happening to you? If you are afraid of falling, but you don’t fall, or you are afraid of being judged, but no one is judging you at this moment, then what are you afraid of?
Fantasy can either help a person achieve his goals or hinder him. It allows you not only to plan your future course of action, but also to paint scary pictures of what could happen if events begin to unfold in an unfavorable way. A person is afraid of what has not yet happened. How justified is your fear?
To become braver, you need to understand that you are afraid of something that does not exist. As long as no terrible events happen to you, you don’t have to be afraid! What to do if something frightening happens to you? In such a situation, you move on to the next solution to the issue:
- Do you begin to be afraid, run away, defend yourself from your fear, thereby depriving yourself of the opportunity to follow the planned path that leads you to your goal?
- Or do you clench your fists and teeth to be afraid and still take the necessary actions?
Courage is when the eyes are afraid, but the hands do. You must go through the situation that scares you. And here some say “I can’t,” thereby allowing fears to take over, while others convince themselves: “I can!” Courage is not a quality with which one is born and lives forever, but a character trait that develops and is developed by a person every time he begins to be afraid, while continuing to do what is needed.
Courage is developed by overcoming all your fears every day. You can start small when you are afraid of an unpleasant look or criticism stranger. Overcome your own fear every time, and this is how you will develop your courage.
How to become bolder and more confident in yourself?
Courage requires overcoming one’s own fears, which mainly live in a person’s head, and self-confidence requires the individual’s conviction that he can overcome everything and take the necessary actions. Self-confidence can be either low or high. However, if we talk about adequate self-confidence, then it is precisely this that helps in achieving goals:
- Low self-confidence is a person’s understanding that he has the strength to do something, but does not have a strong motivation to use it. own strength. He would rather refuse to commit necessary actions than agree to use his power. And if so, then over time a person begins to get used to the idea that one should not rely on oneself.
- Overconfidence is an exaggeration of a person’s own capabilities. By by and large a person does nothing, but he tries to convince others that he is capable of something.
- Adequate self-confidence is an understanding of what strengths and resources a person has, while being ready to use them at the right time, and if an individual does not have something, then he is ready to acquire it.
Self-confidence, like courage, is not a constant value in a person. Today you can be confident in yourself, and tomorrow you will lose this feeling. What does this depend on? It depends on what you focus your attention on and how often you prove to yourself that you are capable of something.
- Keep a diary of your achievements. Reread it every time to remind yourself of what you are capable of.
- Pay attention to your opinions. As long as you worry about what other people think of you, you will always slow down the process.
- Focus on what good things can happen. As long as you focus on your fears, you encourage yourself not to act.
- Take risks. However, this risk must be justified. Don’t just take risks to show your courage and bravery. Take risks if even a negative result will be useful for you.
- Women should pay attention to their appearance. If you are beautiful in appearance, your confidence will automatically increase.
- Try to achieve new things. This could be new knowledge, development of new skills.
- Men are advised to pay less attention to failures. They happen to everyone. However, if you focus on success, then you will be more concerned with how to achieve it and what to do for it.
How to become bolder and more decisive?
On the way to any goal, a person will be forced to solve certain problems. To overcome something, you need to decide how to deal with it. And a person, first of all, must think with his own head, try to solve all issues himself, which will allow him to show such a quality as determination, which, together with courage, helps to achieve any goals.
To be decisive, you need to take responsibility. Indecision indicates that a person is afraid of the consequences that may arise as a result of his actions. And fear arises on the basis of irresponsibility, when a person does not want to confront, understand, or do anything.
Thus, courage and determination go hand in hand. To be decisive, you need to stop being afraid that consequences may arise, because of which a person will have to think with his own head, respond and do something.
It is increasingly becoming more difficult for modern people to make their own decisions and follow them. This is facilitated by the large number of people who surround you and are ready to help. Parents always try to look after their child, even when he is already an adult and independent. Friends and loved ones also take on the role of helpers, trying to give advice or express their opinions in any situation. Being decisive has become much more difficult because those who help you also demand that their opinions and advice be taken into account. Otherwise, you will face resentment or someone's detachment.
How to become more decisive? How to overcome what society brings up so well in every person - immaturity and cowardice? You need to learn at least from making your own decisions in small things. For example, go to a store and buy something that you personally like. Or resolve to wake up an hour earlier every day than you once did. In any situation, try to listen to yourself and your desires and make decisions based only on them.
Undoubtedly, the people around you will begin to tell you something of their own, give advice, insist on something. But it is up to you not to listen to them. If you hear a recommendation that does not correspond to your desires and opinions, you have the right not to listen to it. Your life, and you must live it the way you personally want.
Learn to make your own decisions in small things: buying something for yourself, leading your lifestyle, imagining what you want. Gradually you will gain experience and begin to make decisions in more serious situations. And let someone not approve of him, condemn him, say “wrong.” All this is not important for you now. Learn to make “your own decision”, which will be independent of what other people tell you and how they evaluate it!
Determination appears where a person is ready to act independently and face any consequences, not run away from them, and not shift responsibility to other people. Decisiveness is the willingness to think for yourself and take responsibility.
How to become bolder, more decisive and more confident in yourself in the end?
On the way to your goal, difficulties and problems will always arise. Why? Because a person does not yet know how to act in such a way that his goals are realized quickly. Otherwise, he would not set a goal for what he already knows how to easily and quickly achieve. What a person already knows how to do does not require any special effort from him. The goal is only that which requires effort, courage, determination and self-confidence.
To develop these qualities in yourself, you just need to start making your desires come true. You need to not just dream about something, but also start acting so that all your dreams gradually become reality. This will require a lot of time and a lot of effort. Sometimes a person will give up and even think about how much he needs a goal in order to work so hard on it. However, a person gives in only when he is faced with difficulties and troubles, which precisely require determination, self-confidence and courage.
If a person does not give up and continues to move towards the goal, then he will show all the qualities. And if he passes, then he will once again prove to himself that he is weak, unsure of himself and indecisive.
Each of us has had to face fear head on. There are different life situations when we are afraid to go forward, do something, change in our lives and stop in anticipation of inevitable disaster. What does it mean to be brave? Courage is not the absence of fear, as it is a normal human emotion. Courage is the ability to control, restrain, and overcome it. A brave person, looking straight into the eyes of his fear, persistently continues to move forward, and does not look for ways to retreat. As a rule, such people achieve much more in life. Can't boast that you are a brave person? It’s okay, a few tips from professional psychologists will help you overcome this weakness and teach you how to win.
Characteristics of a Brave Person
Still have little idea what a brave person is? Then it will be useful for you to know its characteristic features.
He knows how to soberly assess the situation and control his emotions, maintaining complete composure.
A brave person is always calm, he is always confident in himself, knows what he can achieve and goes straight towards his goal.
A brave person knows how to take responsibility for his actions and decisions. It was brave people who became the best rulers, generals, military men and politicians.
A daredevil is always ready to defend his life, family, and state.
A brave person always knows how to make the right decisions, regardless of whether he is overwhelmed by fear.
What are the benefits of being bold?
Still doubt whether you can become a brave person? Just think how many advantages you will get over your competitors and enemies by acquiring this human quality!
Courage will give you full confidence in your strengths and capabilities.
Courage will give you hope for a better, brighter future.
Courage will give you independence from other people's opinions.
Courage will free you from oppressive and consuming fear.
Courage will give you freedom of choice and the opportunity to always remain yourself.
What do you need to do to become brave?
Developing courage in yourself is not easy, but start being courageous right now and confidently go towards your goal, no matter how hard it may be for you. A few useful recommendations psychologists will help you go through this difficult path and achieve your goal.
The psychological attitude is very, very important. Therefore, try to prepare yourself for the fact that you have a very long way to go, but you will definitely overcome it and achieve your goal. Don't underestimate the power of thoughts - every step you take under the influence of the right attitude will be much more successful and effective. In addition, the mood will make it much easier for you to work on yourself.
Do you think this is impossible to do? You are wrong. First, stop caring about how others evaluate you and stop evaluating yourself. Don’t listen to advice, don’t remember your past failures - before you is only the future, which in no way depends on past mistakes. This is your chance to do everything right - take advantage of it. Why empty doubts? After all, your abilities can only be tested experimentally. You are no worse than others - if someone else succeeds, then you will certainly succeed too. Believe in yourself!
Standing in the face of fear is difficult, but without it you will never learn courage. Every overcome fear will make you a little bolder and stronger. Don't avoid your fears. Let's say you are afraid of flying on an airplane. Of course, you have the opportunity to go somewhere by train or car, but the plane is much faster and more convenient. Do not avoid flying, but, on the contrary, strive for it. After some time, the fear will weaken and then disappear completely.
Courage does not mean invincibility. Don’t be afraid to make another mistake - people learn from mistakes, become smarter, stronger and braver. Learn to admit and accept your defeats. This time you lost, but next time you will definitely win.
Communication helps us get rid of complexes and fears, overcome shyness and become much more sociable. And these qualities are directly related to courage. Therefore, feel free to make new acquaintances, make new friends, communicate more and be alone less often.
Every time you manage to overcome your fear, you deserve praise. Let every next, even the smallest victory remain in your memory as another won battle with your fear. Be sure to praise yourself - your self-esteem will increase and you will have an incentive to continue working to overcome your fears.
The new and unknown always causes fear, so you need to look for everything possible ways in order to diversify your life. For example, are you afraid to drive? Go study for your license, make your first long move, explore new areas of activity and entertainment. Every new thing adds a little courage to you.
Have you heard such expressions as “fortune favors the brave” and “those who don’t take risks don’t drink champagne.” That's right - risk is an excellent way to gain courage, but this does not mean that you should do crazy things, putting everything you have on the line - family, freedom, fortune. Every risk must be justified. Weigh everything and take risks!
These small tips will help you gradually overcome your weaknesses and become a little bolder and braver. Every step you take will bring you closer to your goal. The main thing is not to give up and go to the bitter end.
Very often, our cowardice spoils our lives, we lose many opportunities, we suffer for what we did not do, due to fear of failure or ridicule.
We were all taught from childhood that “the city takes courage” through the example of fairy tales about heroes and adventure novels. But not all fairy tales explain how the characters managed to cultivate willpower and courage. It’s as if they were born brave and determined! In fact, this is how it was: the author’s imagination is free to endow fictional characters with any qualities. But what should we do? ordinary people, without innate valor and readiness for exploits 24 hours a day?
You have to cultivate self-confidence - day after day, through “I can’t” and “I don’t want” to go through victory over oneself, one’s own doubts and fears. Fortunately or unfortunately, this problem is so common that psychologists have already managed to study it and develop a number of recommendations on how to become bolder and more decisive. Therefore, on the path to fearlessness, you do not have to reinvent the wheel - you can use proven techniques. And this will not be a sign of cowardice - rather, it will maintain a balance between courage and common sense.
Confidence, courage, determination – who needs them and why?
Fear is not such a shameful character trait. Especially considering that it is intended by nature as a natural and, in fact, very useful defense mechanism. Just imagine what would happen to humanity if it were completely devoid of fear, apprehension, or at least doubt. It is possible that without these character traits, our distant ancestors would have fallen victims to their own recklessness and/or the saber-toothed tiger, into whose den they would have entered boldly and selflessly. So fear in itself is not bad and not at all shameful. One could even say that it accompanies such valuable traits as prudence and prudence. But at the same time, this particular one, so seemingly useful and the right tool psyche, interferes with us in many ways life situations. Frightens when thinking about the future, prevents discovery own business, does not allow us to meet attractive representatives of the opposite sex, confuses thoughts and words during interviews and stops us at the threshold of the director’s office, where we went to ask for a well-deserved salary increase.
At the same time, everything negative emotions, which we experience in these and similar situations, we generalize and conditionally call it fear. And then, just as automatically, we mentally (and sometimes out loud) begin to reproach ourselves for our cowardice. But in fact, the range of feelings that a person experiences before making (or not making) any decision is much wider. In order to distinguish between them, you need to come to your senses and realize your state, and then analyze it. Unfortunately, as a rule, there is no time and/or desire for this. But if we ourselves were more attentive to our sensations, we would learn to distinguish them without special effort. In addition to a deeper understanding of oneself, this makes it possible to understand exactly what signals the subconscious gives us. But it “knows” much more than us, that is, the conscious part of our personality. In his arsenal of precautions and warnings, the following emotional tools are stored and regularly used:
- Uncertainty. Characteristic of people who put other people's interests above their own. It seems to them that those around them are somehow better, smarter, more beautiful and/or simply worthy of more than themselves. This false attitude is ingrained in most of us in childhood and it is very difficult to get rid of it. Despite the fact that almost all people are insecure to one degree or another, this inner feeling makes them express themselves in very different ways. Some succumb to the complex and remain quiet and overly modest to their detriment. Others try to overcome their insecurities through bravado and ostentation, becoming unpleasantly brash individuals. And only a few find the strength to work on themselves in order to overcome uncertainty or at least find the levers for its conscious regulation. Often this requires help. professional psychologist. And the reward for effort is the opposite quality of uncertainty - self-confidence and self-confidence.
- Indecisiveness. This feeling is experienced by those who are about to do something important, and its strength is directly proportional to the importance of the event. Accordingly, the harm that indecision causes to your possible successes also increases. For example, you have been receiving a salary of a certain amount for a year now, but prices are rising. In addition, you had a child, you have completed several projects profitable for the company, and in general you want to receive more compensation for your work. Inspired by these arguments, you decide to talk to your boss about a raise tomorrow morning. But you stop in front of the door of his office and do not dare to go in. “How to start a conversation?”, “What if he doesn’t agree?”, “Maybe it’s better to wait a couple more months?” - these are approximately the thoughts spinning in your head. You'll see - because of them, you won't see a salary increase or even a bonus like your own ears. But if you ignore them and boldly go to the boss, act according to the circumstances and know what you want, then the reward will be the slow but sure development of determination - that is, the ability to go towards your intended goal through obstacles and achieve your plans.
- Doubts. These are the thoughts that undermine your resolve with their imaginary rationality. They may indeed seem like just arguments common sense, although in fact these are your own excuses, motivated by uncertainty, fear of change, and even just plain laziness. Returning to the situation with a request for an increase in salary, it is easy to understand the mechanism of doubt. At the last moment, it suddenly seems to you that you haven’t done so much to deserve the bonus, that someone in your team deserves it more than you, that now you don’t best time to talk with the boss, etc. and so on. Of course, in most cases you will follow this inner voice and abandon the planned conversation. Although, if you cope with your doubts, you will immediately understand how false they were. This new quality of character for you, the opposite of suspiciousness, is called fortitude.
- Shyness. This is another one of the acquired, rather than innate, character traits. It has been noticed that every third child manifests it as they interact with society: first in kindergarten, then at school and further in life. Timid children are afraid to answer at the board, timid teenagers are afraid to communicate with their peers. As a result, smart people do not receive the excellent grades they deserve, and good-looking people suffer from loneliness. It is up to parents to prevent shyness from taking root. With care, love, praise and their own example of communicating with friends, they can help the little shy person overcome shyness. This will largely determine the future, adult life of their heir and will help him gain self-confidence and self-love. The opposite of shyness is healthy relaxedness.
- Fear. A natural regulator of behavior, the sensation of which is caused by certain hormones. The physiological characteristics of each organism provide varying degrees of “fearfulness”. Some people faint from fear at the sight of a mouse, others jump into the abyss on an elastic rope without fear. Both are extreme manifestations, and golden mean allows you to behave reasonably and not run into trouble. The only question is to determine for yourself the appropriate boundaries of fear, beyond which it turns into excessive timidity, which prevents you from enjoying life. Courage as the opposite of fear is not always appropriate and not everywhere. It is needed by the military, doctors, climbers and representatives of other professions and sports associated with imminent danger.
Developing courage and determination
So, you're tired of turning down opportunities, wasting your dreams of success, and being bored alone. And this is very good, because it is the first step towards a new life, in which you will be bolder, more determined and probably happier than you are today. But it won't come tomorrow. Or rather, it will come the sooner the more effort you put into it. But you will have to try. But isn't it worth it to become the person you want to be: confident, strong-willed, and even a little cocky? Moreover, working on yourself is one of the most rewarding types of work, because its result not only depends on you, but also completely belongs to you. Therefore, without delay, start making small but important victories over yourself, day by day gradually mastering the following useful skills:
- Learn to set the right goals. Motivation is an extremely important, sometimes even determining component of success in any business. If a goal does not inspire you, then you most likely will not have the strength and desire to achieve it. For example, the formulation “I want to become brave and courageous” is too vague to work on its own. And if you specify it to “I want to become bold and courageous in order to invite Masha from the next department on a date,” then the goal takes on more understandable and attractive features. In general, in order to find the strength to fight, you must understand what you are fighting for and what rewards await you for your courage.
- Don't be lazy. Very often, behind the uncertainty lies an ordinary reluctance to strain. The habit of laziness is relaxing, and at the right moment you simply will not be able to gather your courage and do the right thing. Therefore, in cultivating courage, as in making decisions, learn to overcome reluctance. It is not necessary to immediately storm the fortress - start with small steps that will gradually lead you to success. Win a small victory every day: smile at a passerby, give a compliment to a salesperson in a store, give your hand to a girl getting out of a vehicle. The regularity of such actions is much more important in self-education than great but rare “feats.”
- Trust yourself. Every person has intuition, developed to a greater or lesser extent. Developed intuition is an excellent advisor and the basis for self-confidence. Learn to listen to your inner voice - the more often you do this, the more often it will be right. In this way, you will have a solid basis for not doubting decisions made and confidently move towards your goals. Let your own opinion become the main one for you, and the advice of others only be auxiliary in any situation.
- Trust others. This applies, first of all, to those people whose views on life coincide with yours. These are your friends, like-minded people and those people with whom you are not yet acquainted, but would like to establish contact. Well, don’t wait for an opportunity - get acquainted, show friendliness and be friendly with others. Even if you have negative experiences with peers, gained in childhood, when other children teased you or refused to accept you into the company. Now you are an adult and know how to distinguish good people from the bad ones. Just believe me - good man will not harm you and will become a good friend if you yourself want it. But a bad person is not worthy of your communication anyway, and a conflict with him is a sign of fate and protection from potential troubles.
- Become your own friend. Stop scolding yourself and making claims. Instead, praise yourself often. Let every achievement, no matter how small, become a reason for praise. This is exactly what true friends do: they support you in your endeavors and help you when things are difficult. Approval will definitely cement the positive experience in your memory, and each next step will be easier. And also celebrate victories over yourself. Pamper yourself, please with small pleasant gifts. Sincere self-love - best foundation to increase self-esteem.
- Don't be afraid of mistakes. Indecisiveness is often a reluctance to make mistakes. But there are simply no people who would never make mistakes and always do everything right. And you absolutely should not live up to unattainable ideals. Take risks, try something new. Use this technique: imagine the most unfortunate, undesirable outcome of the case in advance. Picture it in your mind and come to terms with it. Now that the worst is already “behind” it will be easier for you to decide to act. And you will see that in reality it will not turn into the fiasco that you feared.
- Set your priorities. Helps fight doubts correct placement priorities. In fact, what is more important to you: momentary weakness or potential results? As soon as the second pan of the scale becomes heavier, doubts will dissipate.
- Take care of yourself. It will be much easier for you to overcome shyness if you are confident that you have something to offer others. It's about about your experience, knowledge, skills. Read good literature, find an exciting hobby, be interested in modern art. On the one hand, this will give you topics for small talk and reasons for making acquaintances. On the other hand, using the example of artistic plots, you will stop perceiving your own complexes as something unique, and you will borrow ideas and solutions to problems from the characters. In addition, taking care of own body and intelligence helps to overcome uncertainty. Sport develops mental strength, proper nutrition and refusal bad habits– self-love.
- Learn from others. Surely your personal fears seem uniquely large to you. But believe me, most people in the world tend to doubt themselves and exaggerate their own shortcomings. Try to observe more closely the people who seem to you to be models of determination. Find out more about their life and success story. It is possible that it contains overcoming fears and hard work above oneself. The next time you are faced with your own fear, imagine a brave person in your place. What would he do, what would he say? Try to “imitate” him, play his role. This trick often helps develop courage skills.
