Why men don't leave their wives. What kind of women do men leave? A woman leaves when a man is no longer around

Tuesday, June 04, 2013 14:25 + to quote book

Why do men leave me?

Why do men leave me? Many of us have experienced big and small tragedies in our personal lives. Someone was abandoned, someone abandoned themselves, which is also quite unpleasant to do. But what to do when the situation constantly repeats itself, when a new relationship that seemed so different from the previous one has the same sad end? Why do men leave me? - this is the question that a woman asks herself, finding herself once again thrown out of the ocean of love onto the deserted island of her loneliness.

To begin with, let's still distinguish between situations when such a misfortune happened to you for the first time from those when, with enviable regularity, your relationship ends in a breakup, and they abandon you. In the first case, despite all the painfulness of the experience, reinforced by the feeling of a universal catastrophe that happened to you, you should still understand that this is an isolated situation, and it may well not happen again. Although you may have an inner feeling that something similar has already happened to you.

Such experiences are especially traumatic for people who experienced the same feeling of abandonment in early childhood in relation to their parents, especially those of the opposite sex. It does not matter whether the parents were absent from the child’s life physically or only emotionally, whether they had compelling objective reasons for this or not (divorce, illness, death, work, etc.). What is important is how the child himself perceived the lack of much-needed warmth, care and attention in his life.

It is this subjective feeling of a certain deprivation, of not receiving something important that makes a person attach excessive importance to his new relationships and experience their loss so hard and acutely. It is in the repetition of a childhood situation that the source of that very subjective feeling that someone is constantly abandoning me is rooted, although the facts may well not confirm this.

If, having managed to look at the situation more or less objectively, you have come to the bitter conclusion that this is not your first relationship that ended in fiasco, and your partner was the initiator of the break, then it is worth thinking about the reasons for the repetition of this situation.

Why do men leave me?

Attempts to answer this question, as a rule, begin with a search and naturally end with finding the very culprit in whom the root of evil lies. As a rule, this is a man (although there are women who tend to blame themselves, which is the other extreme). He is not sensitive enough, loving, responsible, caring (other epithets of your choice), he cruelly deceived you, violated your feelings. Yes, it is quite possible that this is exactly what happened, and it would be difficult for me to discuss this topic without knowing exactly your situation.

But here it’s worth thinking about this: people rarely change radically, both for bad and for worse. good side. Therefore, it is quite possible that your assessment of this person was initially quite far from reality. And even if he really deceived you, you still allowed him to do this to you. You can read more about why we choose this or that partner for ourselves in the article Life partner - what is he like?

If you nevertheless come to the conclusion that the person has really changed a lot since the time you met, then think about this: all this time he lived and communicated with you, which means that you exerted your influence on him. This conclusion will be especially true regarding the changes that are observed in his attitude towards women in general, and towards you in particular.

Yes, of course, our psyche is influenced by several factors, starting with work and various kinds life's vicissitudes, ending with the parental family and social environment. But still, we are most strongly influenced by the person who is next to us, being, without exaggeration, our soul mate. And if you think that your influence on your man is not significant, then this means that your place in his life is equally small. Then is it any wonder that a man can break off a relationship with you almost painlessly?

If you analyze the situation at a deeper level, you may also find that the woman herself chooses a man who can subsequently leave her. In one of the options, this may be a way of self-punishment, in another - of maintaining loyalty to the women of one’s family (when they were also abandoned, and the daughter simply has no moral right to be happier than her mother/sister/grandmother/aunt), in the third - an opportunity to repeat the traumatic situation of an earlier period, but with a chance to change the painful outcome in a more favorable direction, i.e. a kind of rehabilitation method. The driving thought in the latter case will be: I may have been abandoned once, but I will do everything to prevent this from happening again.

But even if you don’t delve very far into psychoanalysis, then it’s worth thinking about this question: What is common in my behavior, the behavior of the men who left me, in the reasons they voiced, etc.? Any patterns you derive, repeating situations, similar reactions, will help you get to the bottom of the reasons that encourage men to leave you. Most likely, this will not be just one of your shortcomings, but a whole complex of factors, by eliminating or smoothing out which you can establish stable, long-term, emotionally close relationships.
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This article will help you understand which women men don’t like -

What annoys men about women. 10 signs.

Of course, all men are different and have their own, clear or not so clear, idea of what a woman should be and what she should not be. But there is a certain set of female qualities and actions that causes strong rejection on the part of men. Let's take a closer look at what irritates men about women.

1. Talkativeness.

Women are more inclined to communicate, both among themselves and with men. At the same time, they can communicate on different topics, moving from one to another, without any logic from a man’s point of view. Their logic is subject to emotions and associations, and not to a strict sequence of presentation of the material. It is often difficult for a man to follow all the turns of a woman’s thoughts. In addition, a woman’s speech speed is almost 1.5 times higher than that of a man.

Therefore, men prefer to avoid long communication with a woman, which makes them tense. If they cannot avoid this and become a hostage to the situation, then they gradually begin to get irritated, although many of them try not to show it. Thus, a sign of restrained irritation may be silence, avoidance of eye contact, monosyllabic answers, etc.

When a man hears two women chatting merrily with each other, after a while he walks away, shaking his head in disbelief. He simply cannot withstand such a flow of information that is useless in his opinion. And, of course, what irritates a man the most is woman's love chat on the phone. Not only is this a useless waste of time from his point of view, but he or she cannot be reached by phone. And nothing irritates a man more than thwarted plans, especially if this happened due to female “stupidity”.

2. Being smart.

The level of intelligence is by no means related to gender characteristics. Some women have very high level intelligence and erudition exceeding the level of the average man. But it would be a mistake for a woman to demonstrate this superiority. Not a single person will tolerate it when they deliberately try to convict him of ignorance, narrow-mindedness, or incompetence. Moreover, a man is not inclined to tolerate this from a woman.

So what, pretend to be a fool? - you ask. No, you don't need to pretend to be anyone. But there is no need to clearly demonstrate your superiority on this or that issue. Any smart man will appreciate timely unobtrusive advice or a hint. And if a man is not smart enough, then maybe you just shouldn’t communicate with him often. After all, everyone has the right to be who they are - smart or stupid, good or evil...

3. Stupidity.

Rarely does anyone like either extreme. Therefore, a frankly stupid woman does not please a man, although the prevailing social stereotype says otherwise. Yes, a man loves to feel his intellectual superiority, but to certain limits. When a sweet, silly woman becomes an outright fool, it can cause nothing but irritation in a man.

Of course, each man has his own gradation by which he determines which category to “place” a woman, and it depends on his own level of development. But there are women who are unanimously placed by all men in the category of impenetrable fools. As a rule, these are very limited individuals living in their own special little world, often very divorced from reality. An example of such a woman would be the image of a dumb blonde, although, of course, hair color has nothing to do with it.

4. Emotionality.

Women live much more under the influence of their emotions than men. It so happens that men are taught from childhood to suppress and control their emotions, saying, for example, that strong boys do not cry. Therefore, men tend to attach much less importance to emotional states, focusing more on solving a problem than on their feelings about it. For women, what is more important is not the goal of the activity, but the process, i.e. how it all went, who looked at it, what they said to whom.

Therefore, they can be very demanding about the choice of words and intonation on the part of a man, and may even interrupt working together in order to clarify the relationship. Men are annoyed by this behavior because they believe that the woman does not set her priorities correctly. For them, “getting things done” is much more important than how and what they say. They call it obsessing over the little things, not realizing that these “little things” are the most important thing in a woman’s eyes.

5. Obsessiveness.

Many women are so focused on their men and building relationships with them that they unnoticeably cross the boundaries of “normal” behavior, becoming obsessive. They can call their husband “idly” several times a day, demanding his attention. At the same time, they can completely ignore the objective circumstances in which their man finds himself. Such a woman may demand, for example, that a man tenderly tell her “your cat loves you” right at a meeting of the board of directors, and be terribly offended if he does not do this.

Obsession can also manifest itself in helpfulness, excessive care, and complete concentration on the interests of the husband. Gradually, instead of feeling happy, enjoying the care and affection shown to him, the man begins to feel constrained, entwined with the sticky tentacles of sickly sweet love. For more information about what pushes women to such behavior, read my article Insatiable Thirst for Love.

6. Passion for shopping.

It’s a rare man who can understand, let alone share, a woman’s passion for ever-new outfits and all sorts of little things that decorate her life. It is very important for a woman to have the opportunity to become the owner of what pleases her heart and eye. A new handbag for her is not just a bag, but a handbag that perfectly matches her favorite dress or shoes. She is the one and only, and it doesn’t matter that she has 20 other different bags lying around at home, because there is no one like her!

A man simply cannot understand why a woman needs all this variety when he feels quite comfortable with one briefcase and a couple of suits. And you don’t need to worry about what to wear today. A woman has a completely different approach to clothing, the choice of which depends on her mood, where she is going and for what purpose. In addition, clothing is a means for her to express her individuality and evoke an emotional response in others - envy in women and interest in men.

There is another aspect to buying new things that irritates men. This is the purchasing process itself. A man, when he goes to the store, does it with complete specific purpose buy a specific item, usually without being distracted by foreign objects. For a woman, here, as in other cases, what is more important is not the goal, but the process. She will not be upset at all if she buys shoes instead of a blouse.

For a man, it is beyond his understanding why he should go to the shoe store when buying a dress. And the process of trying on different outfits can turn into real agony for him. Already on the second or third piece of clothing he tries on, he loses interest, and a little later they completely merge in his memory into a meaningless string of colors and shapes. Therefore, he can endure such a shopping trip only by gathering his will into a fist. And you can’t expect a good mood from him after this process.

7. Passion for TV series.

Watching the next series, the woman experiences, together with the heroine, all the intricate vicissitudes of her complex fate. In this way, she makes up for the lack of events and emotional emptiness in her life with the help of other people's experiences. A man, having a different level of emotionality, is simply unable to understand how one can watch this “green dregs”. And most importantly, while watching the series, he “loses” his wife, who, having focused on the plot, is no longer inclined to be distracted by such “foreign objects” as her husband and children. So, the series is more important to her than her own husband?!

This combination of rejection and slight jealousy of what is happening makes a man get irritated and make attempts to divert the woman’s attention to himself or some other domestic issues. If he fails to do this, then his irritation increases. It can result in an outburst of anger or manifest itself in the form of withdrawal. In any case, it takes some time to peace of mind men and peace in the family were restored.

8. The Saw Woman.

Yes, a man is by no means an ideal creature and he does not succeed in everything the first time, and not even the second. But no man will tolerate being nagged for his obvious or imaginary mistakes. No person can live in an atmosphere of constant criticism and remain mentally healthy. Therefore, in this situation, the man finds himself forced to leave the woman, either physically or psychologically, closing himself off and not responding to her comments. The initial protest and irritation over time develop into complete indifference to her words, and at the same time to not herself. Read more about this in my article: A Woman’s Guide to Dealing with a Man.

9. A woman is an adviser.

When a woman gives a man any advice, she thereby automatically recognizes his incompetence in a particular issue, i.e. indirectly makes it clear that he himself cannot cope with this. But, even if this is so, not a single man will want to admit it, even to himself. Therefore, in terms of good advice with men, you need to be extremely careful so that instead of gratitude you do not experience his irritation and anger.

Moreover, this situation is aggravated when a woman gives her advice in a peremptory and intrusive manner. Strong man is unlikely to get along with such a woman, and the weak will become even weaker and helpless over time. So, in any case, this path leads to nowhere.

10. Untidy.

I would not mention this obvious point if women, in their daily worries and chronic lack of time, did not forget that they need to maintain a man’s constant interest in themselves. Even if a man is loyal enough and understands that a woman may not always look her best, over time he begins to notice more and more her shortcomings in appearance. And outright sloppiness and unwillingness to take care of oneself will irritate even the most loyal man.

I hope this little excursion into male psychology will help women better understand what irritates men in women and make the necessary adjustments to their behavior. And I think men will not be uninterested in it either.
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The article will describe the most common reasons for a man leaving -

Why does the man leave? 10 reasons.

I think you don’t need to be a sociologist to understand that most often the initiator of a breakup is a man. Why is this happening? What pushes him to break up the relationship? Why does a man leave a woman? Let's look at this in more detail.

Of course, all men are different, and the reasons that force him to break off the relationship may be just as different. But there are still a number of factors that will make almost any man think about breaking up.

To begin with, I will note that most men make decisions faster than women do, and once they have made it, it is much more difficult to succumb to any persuasion and exhortations aimed at preserving the relationship. Especially if the reason for the separation was the man’s wounded pride, for example, as a result of a woman’s betrayal.

Men are by nature less inclined to maintain relationships, preferring to place this function on the shoulders of women. Relationships for them are not a goal, but rather a means, a kind of safety net that allows them to take risky steps on the path to success and social recognition. If such an airbag ceases to fulfill its functions, and even adds troubles and worries to his life, the man begins to think about replacing it.

I do not at all want to say that a man looks at a woman from a purely utilitarian point of view, remaining with her only as long as she performs her function well. This is not true, and men are not at all as rational as they want to seem. But I want to convey to you the internal logic of their reasoning, which even the men themselves may not always be aware of.

Ideal woman for men- This,

first of all, a woman who is always in a good mood, with a slight smile on her lips; who never has a headache or other parts of the body; which allows him to be himself, is always happy with what he does; who knows how to be there when she is needed and disappears from his field of vision when such a need no longer exists; which always looks great at any time of the day or night, regardless of the circumstances.

From my description it is clear that this image is far from reality, and no real woman can fully correspond to it, but nevertheless, she can strive for this. The ideal woman serves as an island of safety for a man in the stormy sea of social cataclysms and his eternal desire to conquer ever new heights. It should give a man a feeling of security and acceptance, creating optimal conditions to “lick” the wounds inflicted on him in the struggle for a place in the sun.

If this does not happen, then the man begins to look for someone who can give him similar sensations. One who will look at him as a “great warrior”, a breadwinner, a winner, a person to be proud of. One who will be grateful for what he does for her, appreciate it, accept it as proof of his love, rejoicing in what she already has and encouraging the man to even greater achievements.

I hope I was able to form in you a clear image of the woman that every man sees in his dreams. Now let's get back to discussing the reasons why

why does a man leave?

1. The woman has become uninteresting to the man.

This situation can have two reasons. First: the woman initially did not arouse much interest, but for some reason he was comfortable. Second: the man gradually lost his interest in the woman, until he suddenly felt that he did not want to live with her anymore. This awareness is often facilitated by the appearance of another woman in his environment, arousing his intense interest. And the comparison between the old and new love, usually turns out not to be in favor of his current choice.

2. The woman has ceased to evoke positive feelings.

As I already said, a man should feel at ease and comfortable next to his woman. And if she constantly “burdens” him with her problems, is always in a bad mood, requires constant attention, and for him to listen for hours to the ups and downs of her day, then he will not associate such a woman with anything other than “hemorrhoids,” and hemorrhoids need get rid…

3. A woman's disrespect for a man.

No self-respecting man will tolerate disrespect addressed to him, especially from the woman he loves. Disrespect can take completely different shapes: from open insults and expressions of dissatisfaction to hidden hints, mockingly spoken phrases, some actions behind his back (for example, discussing negative aspects with his girlfriend in order to humiliate a man).

4. Accusatory and demanding position of a woman.

It happens that a woman is raised in such a way that she comes to the conclusion that a man owes her something: he must provide a comfortable life, he must give gifts, he must give compliments, he must take care of her, etc. and so on. If he does not do this fully or does it wrong, then she may begin to demand that he fulfill his duties.

When a man begins to resist such pressure, the woman can take the position of an accuser, reproaching him for his unwillingness to behave properly. At the same time, she may not feel at all responsible for the situation, placing the blame entirely on the man’s shoulders. Sometimes phrases like: “It’s his fault that I crashed the car!” After all, he didn’t want to give me a ride to the manicure salon!”

Naturally, not a single person will feel comfortable in a situation where he is all to blame and is responsible for everything. Then he takes responsibility for breaking the relationship...

5. A man’s feeling of being useless.

If a man begins to feel that he is not so indispensable in a woman’s life, and she is quite capable of doing without him (and sometimes women themselves begin to emphasize this, trying to convict a man of his failure), then he inevitably experiences disappointment and resentment. He can experience relief only in one case - if he perceived the woman and the relationship with her as a kind of burden for which he is responsible.

6. A man’s feeling that he is being used.

If a woman needs not the man himself, but the comforts that life with him gives her, then sooner or later, despite all the woman’s efforts to hide it, and the man’s counter-desire not to notice the obvious, he will realize the current state of affairs. And when this happens, naturally, he is extremely disappointed, and can brutally take revenge for such deception.

7. Cheating on a woman.

Men are less inclined to forgive such mistakes to their chosen one than women themselves. The double standard regarding what is permitted to representatives also plays a role here. different genders, cultivated in our society, and more pronounced pride, and a sense of ownership, and deeply hidden internal insecurity. But the fact is that a man’s first instinct in such a situation will be the desire to break off the relationship (not counting, of course, the desire for a bloody showdown with his other half and her partner). And stopping him from this step can be very difficult, if not completely impossible.

8. A woman earns more.

Again, this point brings us back to the same question about the sensitivity of a man’s pride and his eternal desire to be first. It is not the fact of earning money in itself that is scary, but the way it is presented by a woman and interpreted by the man himself and his entourage. If the couple and their entourage believe that the one who earns more is more important, and the other should automatically obey him, then for a man a situation where his wife earns more will be unacceptable. Then he faces a choice: either maintain the relationship or respect himself. And his choice is rarely made in favor of the first.

The same thing happens when it comes to popularity, position and other indicators of personal superiority. Only a very self-sufficient man and a wise woman are able to maintain a relationship in such a situation.

9. A woman’s inability to behave.

When we fall in love with a person, we don't pay attention to little things like how he holds a fork or whether he knows how to carry on small talk. Often we do not have the opportunity to check this, and sometimes we downplay the significance of these moments for ourselves. But, as they say, we fall in love with a person, but we live with her habits. And over time, a man may begin to be annoyed by a woman’s inability to behave in society. This is especially true for secular people or those striving to become such. Remember Thumbelina and the Beetle? It was the lack of approval of his choice by the local “elite” that was the reason for their separation.

10. Forcing a man to take some action for which he is not ready.

A man and a woman have different goals in life and desires. Sometimes they may differ so much that they cause a clear conflict of interest. Most often, the stumbling block becomes a woman’s desire, firstly, to get married and, secondly, to have a child.

Men and women look at these situations differently. For a woman, new opportunities come to the fore. While a man is more concerned about the increasing measure of his responsibility. Not every man wants, or is even capable, to take on such responsibility. And when a woman begins to strongly push him in this direction, internal resistance grows in him. And the more a man is not ready for this step, the stronger this resistance is.

This does not mean that a woman needs to sit and wait until the man himself “ripes”. You need to talk about your desires, ask about his vision of the situation, so that the man understands the situation and thinks about it, gets used to the inevitability, in the end. But you can’t put pressure on him, much less blackmail him. You will achieve nothing but hidden or obvious resistance. And if, nevertheless, you force a man to take a decisive step against his will, he will take revenge on you for a long time for this violence against his personality.
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The article will guide you in the most common women's mistakes -

How to ruin a relationship with a man. Harmful advice for women.

Women are so concerned about their relationships with men that they often, without noticing it, spoil them, thinking that they are doing everything to improve them. We often proceed from the incorrect assumption that what we ourselves like will also please our man. After all, he chose us, and we chose him! This means that we must be similar in some ways. So we try to give him maximum care and attention, believing that there cannot be too much love. And we choke and choke him with this love...

And yet, we simply forget one simple truth:

A man's job is to conquer a woman.
And a woman’s task is to keep a man.

But not by force, of course, but to make him want to stay.

Well, let's get started... Let's look at the most effective and surest ways to ruin a relationship with a man and make him avoid us. Dedicated to women...

To begin with, it would be nice for all women to understand that men are the same children, but only a little matured. This means they need increased care and attention. After all, they are so helpless in everyday life... How do they choose clothes? This is simply mind boggling! Without women, they would obviously walk around dirty, wrinkled and hungry. And just for the fact that women bring beauty and comfort into their lives, they should appreciate us endlessly!

Well, now that we have gained a sense of our own importance, let’s proceed to the “main course”.

How to ruin a relationship with a man:

As I already said, a woman’s main task and motto in life is care, and once again, care. Let's look at this thesis in detail.

1. Care and attention to his feelings and thoughts.

You should always be aware of what your man is feeling and thinking about. Otherwise, how can you then help him if you don’t know his train of thought? In addition, a man does not always understand what is happening to him. Your task is to help him do this. Therefore, as often as possible, ask him about how he feels, why he frowned now, what made him grin, etc. and so on. Any smart man should appreciate such attention from you!

He needs this especially strongly when he is irritated and upset. Be sure to ask what brought him to this state. If he doesn't answer, ask again. Make different assumptions, think about it out loud. This will help your man express everything that hurts him. Be persistent and don't give up until you achieve your goal. Sooner or later he will not be able to stand it and will answer. Then you will learn a lot of new and interesting things!

2. Taking care of his clothes is the sacred duty of every woman.

Therefore, check his clothes every evening for stains, scuffs, unpleasant odors, etc. This will not only allow you to constantly maintain your man’s clothes in maximum order, but will also warn you in time about whether there is some strange woman in his life. So don't forget to check all pockets carefully!

Yes, and more. Let the man see with what responsibility and dedication you approach the process. Do not forget also, at every opportunity, to remind him how much you do for him. This way he will appreciate you even more!

3. Taking care of the cleanliness of the house.

By the order and cleanliness in the house they judge what kind of owner it has. Therefore, make every effort to ensure that everything shines for you. It doesn’t matter that you are tired, that there is no time left for yourself, that your hands have broken nails and a hunted expression in your eyes. Remember the main thing - cleanliness and order in the house at any cost!

By the way, in order to spend less time on cleaning, you need to keep everyone clean. Therefore, do not forget to remind your man about this. If he threw away his socks or didn't close the cap on the toothpaste tube, be sure to tell him about it. This way you will help him become more organized and attentive, and teach him to value cleanliness more!

4. Help him with advice.

After all, men are not always able to cope with the situation themselves. And you simply have to help them with this. Your man will only be glad if you tell him, when he is driving, which road to take and where to turn. And of course, he will be grateful to you if you explain to him how to choose products and beat out the carpet. If he didn’t manage to do it right the first time, repeat your instructions again. Be patient, sometimes men are so hard to teach to do something right!

5. Call him at work as often as possible.

Be sure to do this every day, or better yet several times a day. And you don’t need to look for any reason for this. Your one desire is enough. Regardless of what your man is doing now, he will be glad to hear how much you love him! Be sure to wait for him to tell you in return that he loves you too. How else? After all, this is the only way to maintain the intensity of your feelings!

5. Spend as much time together as possible.

Let him be confident in your feelings and know that you don’t need anyone else. No one and nothing, no girlfriends, no friends, no work, no entertainment. Of course, he will appreciate your dedication and reciprocate your feelings!

6. From now on you have everything in common.

Therefore, you can safely use his things, rummage through papers, look through his phone. After all, you have nothing to hide from him! And he probably does too! You can also see what he writes in his accounts in in social networks, who are his friends, etc. It's so interesting!

7. Add variety to his life.

Every man needs an emotional shake-up from time to time. And for him there is nothing more stimulating than your hysterics. It should be long and stormy, with all the necessary attributes - tears in three streams, screams, lamentations. For a greater theatrical effect, you can break dishes, throw things, tear out hair on your head. As they say, there can never be too many special effects!

Don't forget to also give your man the opportunity to show how much he loves you. An excellent hint for him would be your phrase: “You don’t love me!” Say it, and get ready to listen to his assurances to the contrary. If they are not followed, this is a signal for you that you need to continue the hysteria at higher speeds. Now you are guaranteed to get words of recognition from him! If these words are not about love, well, it’s worse for him!

8. Be jealous of him.

This is the only way you can fully show how dear he is to you. If it doesn’t give you any reason to be jealous, come up with one yourself. After all, this way you will only strengthen your relationship and add the necessary zest to it.

9. Help him become a better person.

To do this, find someone who could serve as an example for him. It’s better if it’s a person from your inner circle, or even better, your previous partner. Regularly show your man exactly where he still falls short of the standard. And also tell him what he should do for this. Finally, help him with action. If your man needs to lose weight, start preparing him salads and do not allow him to eat anything fatty, fried, peppered or salty. Choose a set of exercises for him and be sure to help him master it, telling him what he is doing wrong.

10. Help him reach his potential.

To do this, do everything to make him understand that what you have today is clearly not enough. Does your loved one make good money? How good? Can he afford the set to buy a small island? No? Then what's good here... You need to make it clear to him how much you are losing due to the fact that his income is disproportionately low compared to your needs. This is the only way he will have an incentive to develop!

11. Be an economical housewife.

Choose your foods carefully and don't buy anything unnecessary, like beer and snacks. They bring nothing but harm. And with the money you save, it’s better to buy yourself a new dress. After all, the beauty of a woman lies in her ability to introduce novelty and variety. And the man won’t have to blush for you when you go on a visit together...

12. Take good care of yourself.

Make green algae masks, compresses and body wraps. Since in weekdays You are very busy, reschedule the procedures for the weekend. It’s okay that my husband is home. You are trying for him! So don't be shy if he sees you. But what will be the effect when you go outside? But at home he can be patient - he’s already a grown boy.

13. Share all your problems with him.

He simply must know everything that is going on in your head. More often retell to him conversations with your girlfriends, scenes from TV series, small events that happened to you in his absence. This way you can show him what worries you and give him the opportunity to become closer to you.

If you went to the doctor and he said that you have “female” problems, be sure to tell your man about them in detail and color. Don't miss any details. Better yet, confirm your words with a clear example or at least illustrations from a book on human physiology. This is the only way a man will be able to understand your situation, and maybe even try to do something to solve it.

14. Be sure to ask a man about his former partners.

If he doesn't want to tell, torture him until he gives up. Firstly, it will allow you to be aware of the dos and don'ts. Secondly, you will show the man your attention to him. Don’t forget to be offended for a long time that he had many women before you (regardless of their number). This way you will allow him to feel his own importance.

The information received will help you in the future when you need to make strong arguments in a dialogue with a man. A relevant example with his exes will help revive the conversation and strengthen your position in the dispute.

15. Be affectionate.

As I said at the very beginning, men are the same as children. Therefore, diminutive nicknames will be pleasant to them. Especially if you don’t hesitate to address your man this way in the presence of his friends. The words “baby” and “baby” are the most suitable for showing everyone the power of your love and affection.

Yeah, don't forget to give him credit" manhood" It’s best to carefully take it with two fingers and say: “Who is this little one we have here? Hidden from me, right?” By the way, you can start a whole dialogue with him or role-playing game speaking in two voices. A man will only be glad to see such obvious attention on your part to his “thing”, and of course, he will not mind at all if you spend some time alone with his “best friend”.

Follow these strictly bad advice, and you will see how the men who are present in your life will very quickly disappear from it. Then you will finally be able to devote all your time to yourself!

Just don’t be surprised that on quiet, lonely evenings you will feel a little sad. This is the price to pay for freedom and independence...
______________________

Why has our relationship changed so much? What happened to our love? How to maintain a relationship with a man? These are the questions that, after some time, every woman asks herself and those around her. Moreover, the last question is asked only by smart women who understand that relationships constantly need to be maintained and strengthened.

Strengthening relationships is a constant, daily process that requires significant effort. Moreover, most of this work is done by women. A man, at best, takes reciprocal steps in response to her initiative. The point is that although for a man a good relationship in a couple are no less significant than for a woman, he does not know how, and does not always want to do anything to maintain them. All his energy, both thoughts and emotions, go into the struggle for a place in the sun, all his strength is devoted to advancing in society and making money. This is exactly the “battlefield” where a man feels most competent.

At the same time, when it comes to relationships and emotional states, about different halftones and nuances, a man experiences confusion, not understanding and not wanting to understand all those small moments that are so clear and dear to the heart of every woman. But when such negative little things accumulate or one of them turns into some kind of major problem, the man immediately reacts to this, showing his dissatisfaction with this matter.

The whole problem is that men and women, for the most part, have different levels of sensitivity in relationships. What seems quite obvious to a woman is completely unknown to a man. A carelessly thrown harsh word or a fleeting caustic glance can cause a whole storm of emotions in a woman’s soul.

She can think for a long time about the reasons for such unfavorability on the part of a man, naturally attributing it to her own or, less often, his mistakes. In the end, the woman comes to some disappointing conclusion, which completely spoils her already far from rosy mood. As a result, the man, unwittingly, gets an agitated and upset wife, not understanding the reasons for her dissatisfaction and attributing her condition to her bad character.

If such a woman’s moods last for quite a long time or often, then the man begins to experience less and less desire to maintain a relationship with her, becoming more and more distant and irritated, which, in turn, causes more and more frequent and prolonged attacks of bad mood in the woman. This is how the snowball of misunderstanding and mutual dissatisfaction grows.

Therefore, it is very important to explain to a man the reasons for your bad mood, but in no case, without trying to shift responsibility for it onto the man. Yes, he may have been a little rude to you. But it is also possible that the reason is not you, but that he himself was led by his bad mood. By the way, men are much less able to control their mood than women. So, maybe he is to blame somewhere, but this does not mean that you should make a mistake and respond to his rudeness with your resentment.

In fact, you have a choice: to be offended or upset, ruining the evening for yourself and him, or treat his words as some kind of natural phenomenon that does not directly relate to you. For example, you wanted to go for a walk, but suddenly it started to rain heavily. Surely it wouldn’t occur to you to be offended by the weather for this, for the fact that this happened? You should treat a man’s mistakes in exactly the same way, of course, if there was no obvious desire in his actions and words to offend or hurt you.

And if it was, then you need to either look for the reasons for such behavior (i.e., understand why he is taking revenge on you), or think about why you need such a man who, without any reason on your part, takes out his anger on you. Yes, a woman should be able to give in, but only when we are not talking about infringement of her rights or humiliation of her self-esteem. This cannot be tolerated from anyone, even from the man you love.

1. Be flexible.

If you confront your man, trying to directly prove that you are right, i.e. in fact, by competing with him, you are doomed to lose. A man does not tolerate competition from a woman; he waits and seeks her support. Therefore, by winning an argument and defending your position, you lose your relationship with a man.

And if a man readily loses to you, constantly finding himself on the sidelines, then do not expect success and achievements from him. Most likely, by your behavior you are cultivating in him a quiet housewife, incapable of any feats. Accept this or change your behavior and attitude towards the man, which will not be easy to do.

2. Support your man.

Men have a very great responsibility - every day and hourly they must prove to themselves and others that they are men, that they are capable of something. Even in bed, a woman will never lose face, she always can, but a man has options. Therefore, do not be surprised that a man is constantly tense and ready to rebuff anyone who doubts his masculine qualities. That is why he needs someone who would not doubt him, who would support him in all his endeavors.

Even if you don’t completely agree with your man, you don’t need to say it to him directly. It is better to agree and support him in his idea, gradually making some adjustments to it and modifying it during the discussion. Let the man think that he himself came to a similar conclusion. A narrow-minded man will not notice this, but a smart man will be grateful to you for your support and for submitting a valuable idea on time, as well as for your reluctance to “pull the blanket over yourself.”

3. Believe in your man.

Believe even when he himself has given up. Nothing inspires a man more and gives him new strength than the faith of his beloved woman in him. When her eyes glow with love and faith, a man is ready to move mountains, just not to disappoint his beloved.

4. Don't criticize a man.

I have already talked about this a lot in my previous articles, but I will say it again. Criticism has an extremely destructive effect on any person. But it is especially unbearable for a man to hear it from the lips of a woman, especially his beloved one. Instead of criticism, you can express an indirect wish, giving the man the opportunity to guess the right direction of movement. Believe me, a man can notice his mistake himself, and he will be even more grateful to you if you refrain from explicitly pointing it out.

5. Talk to a man about your desires.

Guide your man, give him hints, don’t wait for him to figure out what you want. This is not the right position to think that “if he loves you, he will understand!” He’s not a telepath, and he didn’t come into this world just to think day and night about how to please you. Therefore, help him. Believe me, he himself wants to please you, but he doesn’t know how. So tell him, and do it more than once. Unfortunately, a hint that is so obvious to you may not be so obvious to a man.

6. Be lenient.

Yes, every person has the right to make mistakes, and your man is far from perfect. Therefore, treat his “jambs” with patience and understanding. Instead of reproaching him for his mistake, it is better to express confidence that this situation has taught him a lot, and he will not make a similar mistake in the future. Of course, not every mistake can and should be forgiven, but it’s up to you to decide what to do in your situation.

7. Be joyful.

Nothing depresses a man more than the sight of a gloomy and dissatisfied woman. It is especially pleasant for a man when the eyes of his beloved light up with the light of joy upon meeting him. A few minutes of attention and a spark of positivity - often this alone is enough for a man to reward him for all the vicissitudes of a difficult day at work. Just don't go too far. Excessively violent and prolonged joy can cause bewilderment and annoyance in a man, and if he himself is in a gloomy mood, then obvious irritation.

I have written a lot about what a woman can do to maintain and strengthen relationships. But let's not forget that this is a job for two. Yes, the woman is the initiator of the process, but the man must support her by taking reciprocal steps. Otherwise, sooner or later, the woman will give up this “one-sided game”, and then expect trouble. There is nothing worse and worse than a disappointed woman...
How to marry your loved one
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Valeria Protasova

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As it is sung in one song, known to many: “The most important thing is the weather in the house...”, and this weather is created by a woman. The atmosphere of the house depends on her wisdom and cunning. And, if the husband left the family, then the woman herself is partly to blame. To prevent the head of the family from leaving the family, analyze your relationships in advance and do “work on mistakes” - maybe it’s not too late to save the marriage and peace in the family.

Why do men leave their women and girls?

Other

This is perhaps the most understandable and most common reason. Even if a man has not yet met this other person and leaves for one of the five reasons below, he still leaves in order to one day find another with whom he will not have (at least for the first time) what he is leaving for.

Very often, girls, having been in a serious relationship for quite a long time, stop trying to be special for a man. Girls think like this: “We have love! I give him what no one else can give, because love is the most valuable thing every person has.”

And there is no longer any desire to be the sexiest, the most attractive, the most attractive for her man. There is no longer a motive to develop, improve character, be better and more beautiful for his sake. Why? Because the goal has already been achieved: “He loves me.”

Such a girl ceases to evoke emotions in a man, to arouse passion in him. She becomes a friend, a sister for him. And while she thinks that everything is in order, since they are in love, bright men (after all, we live in society) walk around, sexy girls, which reeks of femininity and those emotions that, as it seems to him, he will never experience with his girlfriend.

He could, if the girl wanted, but the girl no longer needs it, the girl thinks that they have come to something long and lasting, to something that will not break now. And the man thinks that he will never again experience that passionate attraction, that desire to conquer and conquer, that satisfaction that he experienced before.

Everything becomes boring, ordinary and emotionless. And he goes to another - to the one who will again let him feel all this.

To prevent this from happening, remember that you are not just a person, but a girl, attractive and cool. And remind your man about this. Just don’t remind them with words, like, hey, at least look at what a treasure is next to you - but remind them with yourself. Flirt with your man again, behave like a woman, seduce him, make him fall in love with you again.

Sex is no longer the same or is absent altogether

And this is again a consequence of the fact that the girl has “settled down”. She seems to forget how and with what she knew how to turn on her man, what her voice was like when she flirted with him, what kind of underwear she wore, what kind of atmosphere she created.

Now the girl expects that since “they are in love,” the man will be turned on even by the mere sight of her in an old sweater and homemade sweatpants, without makeup and with a strange bump on her head. “Because now we are not having sex, but love, this is something much deeper and appearance is not important here.”

Try to always be the same for a man, attractive, sexy, interesting, tickling his instincts. Relationships depend very much on the sex life of partners.

Life pressure

In a family and even just in a serious relationship, everyday life is present in one way or another, and this is normal. What’s abnormal for a relationship is when everyday life overshadows everything else.

I foresee indignation: we both work, I’m also tired, so I also have to spend time and energy on getting myself in order, doing household chores, looking happy and ready for sex - why the hell is that necessary!

I agree - it's difficult. But: we know that the world is not ideal. And we have the right to refuse extra effort, but then we shouldn’t be surprised that the man decided to leave - that’s also his right. Men will NEVER understand that even self-care takes time and effort. All they see is: the girl has stopped taking care of herself, which means she doesn’t want to like me, which means she doesn’t need it and she doesn’t respect me. I will find another who will want to please me and will always look beautiful.

And one more important point: if you don’t have the strength to take care of yourself, then it’s very important to ask yourself the question: haven’t I taken too much on myself? And why did I choose a man who only works, while I work, cook, wash, clean, take care of myself, and be kind enough to constantly be joyful and cheerful?

Together all the time, in everything

Do you want to hang out with friends at the club? I'm with you. Do you want to watch hockey? No, we'll watch 50 Shades of Gray together. Do you want to go fishing? No, we'll go shopping to pick out new jeans and boots for me.

There's nothing wrong with a couple who really wants to do everything together. But in most cases, girls force their men to do something that they would rather not do.

I had a friend who dragged her boyfriends to every meeting with her friends, shopping, dance classes, and chick flicks at the cinema. They left her, and every time she thought: why do all the guys leave me? And why did this guy leave me? After all, I gave him a new one, interesting life... After all, I want to be close to my man all the time - is that bad?

Every person should have personal time. If a person does not need personal time, he is dependent on another, and this is scary.

But the trouble is not this, but the fact that we are all people, different, autonomous, we lived before meeting our loved ones and we had our own hobbies, interests, favorite things.

And if for the sake of a relationship you constantly have to give up all this in favor of the girl’s desires, this is not ice. Because this is violence against an established personality. A man will leave to look for someone who will respect his interests and his personal time.

No implementation

This is a consequence of the previous point. Girls who believe that a man “should” (must fulfill their every whim, must always give up his favorite activities for their favorite activities, must participate in absolutely everything, must be there every minute) are blocking their man’s potential.

A man is not a personal servant who must always help in everything. And if, because of a girl, a man does not have enough time for his own affairs, for fulfilling his desires, for realizing his projects, the man will leave the girl and go free - because it is freedom that the outside world will seem to him - a world that allows him to direct his energy and strength for what he really wants.

Therefore, give your man freedom to achieve accomplishments within your relationship, motivate him, support his endeavors and thank him for his efforts. And then he will dedicate his victories to you.

The girl shows her other self

This may be the case when, after getting married, the girl stopped pretending that she loved the man, and let him know that she was with him for the money. Or the case when a girl, having conquered a man, hourly pours on him streams of jealousy, which she had previously held back.

But more often than not, something else happens: the girl either becomes a capricious child (I don’t want this, I don’t want that, constant hysterics, tears and “you don’t love me”), or becomes a mommy (have you eaten? have you pooped? go away, what kind of cheeks we have...).

Real men don’t need either a mommy or a doll as a life partner. They need an adequate, equal girl who will - when appropriate! - support, evoke a desire to help, will be a good conversationalist or a passionate lover.

Remember: men don't just leave. Look after yourself, develop, don’t let everyday life consume you. Your man will become better with you.

If you keep getting abandoned

And if suddenly you are that girl who is constantly abandoned for reasons unknown to you, understand that some your habits, attitudes, attitudes and relationship building skills are not working or they work very crookedly. And then they need to be replaced with others, so that you become the girl that only an idiot will leave, because you are a treasure.

You can change your habits, skills and attitudes by trial and error, spending years and years.

Or you can take a good course (and I, as a happy wife and as a girl who has taken 3 dozen different courses over the past five years (this is my hobby), I recommend the second option, because your time is more valuable than money, and you will get results from the course very quickly, without spending years on various research).

There are a lot of relationship coaches out there. I can only recommend four (the rest of those from whom I studied are either neither fish nor fowl, or a waste of money and time).

It is in terms of building relationships from scratch leading to a wedding that I recommend Yulia Lanske. And if your personal life categorically does not suit you, and your skills and habits in relationships lead to relationships deteriorating over and over again, start by visiting these free lessons.

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According to world statistics, women initiate divorce in two thirds of cases. If a man can leave his family due to a lack of intimacy, a new serious romantic interest, or a lack of feeling that his needs are no longer a priority for his wife, then a woman decides to leave her husband for various reasons. In this post we will list five main aspects.

Lack of emotional connection

Men feel connected to their wives primarily through intimate sexual intimacy. Women are structured differently, and in marital relationships they put emotional connection first. And only after achieving emotional contact with a partner does the beautiful half of humanity have a desire for sex. Very often, wives seek companionship outside of their own marriage simply because they lack emotional intimacy with their husbands. As you know, beautiful ladies love with their ears. The most successful husbands are well aware of this.

Disagreements over financial issues

Many may think that a woman can decide to divorce because her husband is not able to feed the family. However, this is not quite true. Most often, financial disagreements occur due to different expectations of spouses. In other words, if a wife agrees to live according to modest demands, she will not leave her husband. But if the husband, without the knowledge of his other half, begins to take on large financial risks, getting into debt or freely spending the total budget, the woman will begin to think about breaking up. To avoid divorce, spouses need to discuss financial management over time. round table. If a consensus can be reached, the marriage will be saved.

The husband is rarely at home and does not take care of the family

Of course, if a man is the main breadwinner of the family, he is forced to spend more time at work. A wise woman understands this perfectly. However, sometimes the situation can become simply catastrophic. If the husband returns home almost after midnight every day and goes on frequent and long business trips, the wife begins to be torn apart by conflicting doubts. Does the husband love his family so much, has he found another woman, and why can’t he find a way to earn money that would give him the right to spend more time with his household? Well, children who do not receive enough fatherly attention and education may even grow up offended.

Inability to resolve conflict

Let us agree that there are no two people in the world who would never quarrel and always agree with each other on everything. However, avoiding corners, rough edges and problems, couples in family relationships walk in a vicious circle. It won't do you any good if you accept each other's differences, live with them, and adapt fully. You shouldn’t be like an ostrich and bury your head in the sand at the slightest danger. If one of the partners refuses to talk about problems, refuses to notice them, he puts the marriage in a dead end. According to a Michigan State University study, many marriages break up precisely because husbands refuse to engage in constructive dialogue. You need to listen to your spouse, find out her aspirations and accept her feelings. A marriage that feels like a one-way street will never succeed. The best way allow conflict situation- this is to remain with a cool head, but move towards your partner.

Constantly controlling or abusive behavior

Any healthy and fulfilling relationship includes the words “I” and “you” in addition to the usual pronoun “we”. This means that each spouse should have their own personal space.
A marriage where partners with different interests seek some common ground and ultimately find it is much more likely to last long. People who love each other must trust their significant other. Total control will not lead to anything good. So, for example, women least of all like to exist as if behind glass, under the watchful gaze of their spouse. They want to have time to meet with old friends or go to visit their mother. If they are deprived of all this, the wives feel deeply unhappy. Isolation seems like a living hell for them. The only thing worse than this is physical and emotional violence, which is completely unacceptable.

Conclusion

Remember the saying, the well-known saying that if the wife is happy, then the family is happy. The easiest way to give your spouse happiness is to make the family nest a safe and comfortable place. Be sure to talk to her and find out her innermost desires. Just don’t do it for show, just establish an emotional connection with your woman. Soon you will be surprised to see how much your relationship will improve.

“We need to break up. No, it's not about you, you're wonderful. It’s more about me here...” is a tired phrase that probably every man resorted to, even if only once. And already deliberately crafty: well, do they really abandon wonder women? Anyone can act shortsightedly - and then actively regret it - however, as a rule, if a woman does not satisfy a man in at least one of the common and generally accepted criteria, this can cause a breakup. For a man, the comfort he feels next to his partner is incredibly important, both mental and physical. Let's try to figure out what typical female mistakes are.

Lack of support and respect. Tuning in serious relationship, a man a priori expects that his companion will appreciate, respect and support him. No union can be long-term if a woman does not show participation in her man’s life and dissociates herself from her primary purpose. It is important for a man that his chosen one supports any of his endeavors. She also admired him, saw him as a leader, laughed at his jokes, was sensitive and delicate, did not act against his will and did not move away. And if troubles come, she will be there in both sorrow and joy, no matter how difficult it is. If this does not happen, the couple soon breaks up, and everyone goes on their own path.

Different worlds. While two people get to know each other better and better, they discover character traits, worldviews, opinions, considerations of their other half that were not revealed initially. This is of significant importance - people evaluate their partner’s already formed baggage and compare it with their own. Non-sharing of life views, different positions regarding fundamental (and sometimes not so fundamental) things can serve as a reason for serious disagreements and, in the worst case, a break. Not being involved in a man's life is a very bad thing for your relationship. Always be interested in his achievements, praise his ideas, ask about things at work, get carried away with his hobbies (or at least show superficial curiosity towards him) - your chosen one will be pleased, and perhaps by this you will inspire him to further success.

Excessive control. Are you monitoring his every move? Are you forced to account for every step? Trying to infiltrate whatever he starts? Or maybe you are checking for “traces of a crime”? This will drive any man crazy! If the listed actions apply to you, immediately reconsider your relationship policy with your lover. Dictating your terms in everything and thereby undermining male authority is a bad idea. Demonstrating a lack of trust in a partner through constant suspicion and jealousy is the same. Let us remember one very succinct phrase: “A wise woman never watches a man. She takes care of herself, and the man watches her.”

Sexy "calm". Men and women are creatures from other planets. And they perceive such a sacramental thing as sex in completely different ways: a man always wants, but not always can, and a woman, on the contrary, always can, but does not always want. He often doesn’t want to because of a lack of feelings: for the fair sex they are a priority. A woman needs to be in love for a relationship to be possible, while men, for the most part, are more down-to-earth creatures. Their language is the language of the flesh, the language of physical sensations. Men think about sex more than women - this is embedded in their brains at the DNA level. Self-esteem depends on sex and its quality: a man needs to feel and know that he is wanted and wanted, to see the playful sparkle in his partner’s eyes. Therefore, an inadequate sex life often becomes the reason for separation. Lack of sex, a woman's focus on her career, children, hobbies or herself, as well as bland and boring sex can push a man to leave or cheat. Diversify your sex life, become more liberated, reincarnate, allow your chosen one a little more than usual, surprise him - and then he is unlikely to exchange you for another.

Hypertrophied egocentrism. When a woman is convinced that she is the center of the universe and everything revolves around her, she does not listen to the opinions and feelings of her man; it is as if he does not have them at all. She fixes attention on herself and only herself, does not admit her mistakes, thereby alienating her partner from herself. After all, as a dominant by nature, he does not at all need such a half who questions his own male ego. Don’t be too self-absorbed, focus not only on your interests, understand the meaning of the concept of “self-criticism”, become more patient and loyal, learn to listen and hear.

"To every pillar". Men are jealous in a completely different way than women. Their jealousy is deeper: like poison, it touches the deepest parts of the soul. This is because male pride is a very vulnerable structure. The stronger sex, as you know, is not used to sharing their problems with anyone; they remain face-to-face with them, so it is difficult for them to cope with stress. Telling someone about your failure is akin to losing your dignity in men. Sexuality is an even more fragile and vulnerable substance. Competition is in the blood of men, which is why they cannot afford to lose. To imagine your beloved in someone else’s arms, and what’s even worse, to share her with another is an unimaginable insult and humiliation for any man. Both for a pathological jealous person and for someone who reacts reasonably.

A woman who, for the sake of self-affirmation and raising her own self-esteem, behaves defiantly in public, constantly flirts and makes advances with others in order to draw a man’s attention to this, as well as to increase her worth, as a rule, suffers a fiasco, getting the exact opposite result. Her chosen one becomes uninterested in such games. At first he could fall for them a couple of times, but all patience is not unlimited. Therefore, one can only sympathize with women who have chosen this tactic: trying to awaken a wonderful feeling with the help of something bitter and poisonous, putting oneself on a par with people of “not particularly difficult behavior” is the greatest stupidity. You should never throw away the trust you have received.

Commercialism. A woman who, in almost every conversation, reduces everything to money, income level, wealth and status of her partner, is unlikely to be considered by him as a life partner and potential spouse. After all, where is the guarantee that if the family boat gets caught in a storm, it will not hide, as cunning bilge animals usually do? Confidence in your beloved, her reliability and decency are extremely important things in building a future marital relationship. And who would want to marry a tyrant who frowns at the sight of a silver bracelet instead of a gold one, is indignant at one rose instead of the expected bouquet, or wrinkles her nose at the table of a simple cafe instead of a fashionable restaurant? There are things more valuable than financial position. Know how to discern a winner in your man, and then, thanks to your love and faith, he will certainly become one.

A woman next to her chosen one has to be different all the time, play different roles from each other: a wise adviser, a naive girl in love, a best friend, a guardian hearth and home, a depraved seductress... Only at first glance it seems that this is not easy, but in reality everything works out by itself. The ability to be different, to combine images that are different from each other is not acting, but the art of being a woman. Gender relations are multifaceted and versatile; play each role with dignity to find the right key to your man’s soul. And then you can rest assured that he will never choose someone else over you.