Do you often have a question in your head: "What do I want?" Sooner or later, every person asks this question. Trying to realize our dreams and satisfy desires, we choose our life path.

How to realize your goals in a certain period of life

Desires can be endless. And how, in this case, to determine the tasks of paramount importance and place the rest of the aspirations in right order? After all, everyone wants to be rich, healthy, ride expensive car, learn several languages ​​and gain immortality. Ambition is very good, but it should not exceed the scope of reality.

The main thing you need to learn to do is to prioritize. First, take a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Write down all your desires in a column. Write the list in present tense. For example: ""I look at my bank account. The balance is 500 thousand rubles. I feel happiness and satisfaction from the reward for my work. The main condition is that what you write looks believable. That is, if you write that you are having lunch with the president, but subconsciously understand that this is impossible, or possible, but not in the near future, then you should not write it.

Working with the wish list

Once your desires have been written down, start reading them aloud one by one, pausing before each subsequent entry. After reading one wish, close your eyes and concentrate on your feelings. What do you feel? It can be satisfaction, a feeling of superiority over others, indifference, a pleasant thrill, or a feeling of real happiness and flight.

It is the feeling of happiness that is the true desire of every person. Perhaps he is not even aware of this, but subconsciously each of us strives for happiness. Guided only by your inner feelings, you will understand what you really want from life and learn to prioritize.

Analysis of the three main points

Cross out everything that does not match your priorities and leave three points. Why only three? It's simple, practice and research show that a person cannot work effectively on more than three tasks.

Think about what you are doing now, what activity takes up most of your time. The main question to ask yourself is whether it brings me closer this species activities towards my goal. If the answer is no, then it's time to change something.

The road to happiness is difficult, but the right priorities will greatly simplify and speed up this process.

Other people's interests

Self-sacrifice and life for the sake of others, close people, makes sense only if it is a conscious choice of a person, the implementation of which brings him joy and happiness. Of course, caring for loved ones is a normal behavioral reaction, but when a sense of duty cancels out one's own aspirations and dreams, driving a person into depression, this is no longer the norm. There are many examples when he played into the hands of not only a person, but also members of his family.

A striking example is when young people, striving for a bright future, leave their father's house and leave for other cities or countries, where, in their opinion, young people expect many opportunities and great success. often helps people and leads them to right direction. While parents, wise by experience, prefer to keep their child with them, being able to help him if necessary.

Each person has his own goals, and no one, including close relatives, should interfere with achieving the goals. You should not allow yourself to be manipulated, indulging others will not make you happy - rather, on the contrary.

Change of priorities

The above lists will develop your ability to prioritize. And upon reaching all the points, it makes sense to acquire a new list.

It's perfectly normal for priorities to change with age. The stages of growing up involve a change of mindset. Changing priorities should be evolutionary, not the other way around.

Not the most the best way when a person rushes through life and cannot find his place. In this case, it is important to analyze your actions and understand from where everything went wrong as planned. If you have problems analyzing your actions, or you need help, it would be useful to visit a psychologist who can help you prioritize correctly.

Etymology of the word "priority"

An interesting fact is that the word "priority" in the plural person was not used until the beginning of the 20th century. Prior to this, this concept was used only in the singular.

The word "priority" has the Latin prefix "prio", which means "before". Prioritizing means identifying the tasks that advance the achievement of your goals.

There is an effective principle for working with priorities, namely, He helps to set all the tasks using only two criteria - important and urgent.

Differences between important and urgent matters

A famous one tells us that 20 percent of all our tasks will be classified as important. Interesting, but some of them will also be considered urgent. What is the difference?

The implementation of important things brings you closer to your goal. At the same time, the execution of urgent matters distracts your attention, but does not have a significant impact on the achievement of the chosen goal.

It's no secret that most people start with secondary tasks. The thing is that they are lighter and do not require serious costs. And the brain, like the body, does not like to overstrain, if they are not accustomed to this. And the implementation of unimportant things creates the appearance of work, but the truth is that you should pay attention to those tasks, the solution of which will contribute to your success. This will help you know how to prioritize in life.

Priority categories on the Eisenhower list

Priority A - these are things that need to be done today, as they are both urgent and important.

Priority B - these are tasks that are optional on a particular day, but for which you need to carve out a small amount of time daily. Their stable implementation will bring the achievement of the goal closer.

A very common mistake is postponing cases from the second group until later. You don’t need to do this, because the developed habit of solving problems constantly in a small amount will qualitatively affect your further achievements.

Examples of tasks from priority B:

How to work with third and fourth order priorities

Priority C. This includes skills and abilities that you feel are urgent to learn but are not important. For example, learn to say "no" when the need arises. These tasks will give you the necessary time to solve priority tasks.

Priority D. These are tasks that are not important or urgent. You can safely postpone them for later, or entrust them to other people. It is strongly recommended that you occasionally skip tasks from list D. This will allow you to get a good rest on your most stressful days.

How to prioritize according to the Eisenhower method

Knowing how to prioritize is not a difficult task, the only thing that is required is to allocate a little time for written work. But later, following your own instructions, it will be much easier to act.

How would you like to embrace maximum amount things, there is not enough time for everything. And this must be understood. The most important thing is to prioritize correctly, and then success will not be long in coming.

Allocate your time wisely, spending it on the really important things that will help you achieve your goals and realize your most significant desires. The ability to highlight important aspects one's activities and avoiding non-essentials is an important and useful skill. The Eisenhower Method helps you understand how to prioritize your life.

Each of us prioritizes in our own way, depending on our personal characteristics or personal history. But sometimes we ignore our deepest desires. If you experience an acute or vague feeling of dissatisfaction, then your needs are not clear to you yourself or they are suppressed by fears and erroneous ideas about yourself. Coach Maria Makarushkina has been working with businessmen and politicians for 15 years.

“Many men and women live their lives on autopilot that they can neither turn off nor reprogram,” says the coach. “Sometimes it happens because they once said “no” to their true desires, and most often because they simply did not have the courage to say “yes” to them. Art therapist Varvara V. Sidorova agrees with this: “As soon as we move away from our true values, suppress our needs, we open the doors to disappointment and apathy. Prolonged lack of contact with yourself can even lead to depression.

Systemic family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova notes that the loss of orientation happens within a couple as well. Therefore, it is often necessary to deal with prioritization by two people. Personologist and transactional analyst Vadim Petrovsky, who specializes in working relationships, adds that “demotivation in the profession speaks of insufficient attention to one’s personal needs. And only if we manage to identify them, we can finally take the helm and direct our lives in the right direction. Based on these points, we offer you four exercises created by our four experts that will allow you to determine your priorities.

KNOWING YOURSELF. WRITE YOUR WISHES

Think about what you want right now, and write down the first thing that comes to mind.

Maria Makarushkina is sure that the word "yes" is the main driving force our life script. It is important to say “yes” to your dreams, ambitions and the voice of intuition. It's important to listen to yourself. She suggests doing a simple exercise that will inspire you to further actions and will help to sort out tangled thoughts and desires.

Take a piece of paper and sign it "My main desires."

Then complete this list

Keyword #1

Keyword #2

Keyword #3

Keyword #4

Keyword #5

To do this, relax and think about your most basic needs: self-realization, relationships with a partner, work, family, your lifestyle ... Do not try to analyze what comes to your mind, do not evaluate your thoughts, but listen to yourself. Then, using a keyword (for example, "sea", "position"), write down each desire in the order that seems most appropriate to you. These words will become guidelines for later life and will help you in making any future decisions.

RELATIONSHIPS IN A PAIR. REVIEW YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

“A couple is a changeable structure,” explains Inna Khamitova. “Even if its foundation is solid, the rest of this structure needs constant repair and additions. This, in fact, is the charm of a relationship in a couple, but this is also the reason for their instability. That is why it is so important to discuss the situation that has developed in a couple if signs of boredom and dissatisfaction begin to appear.

1. Time to listen to yourself

Ask yourself a few questions and write down the answers. What is missing in your relationship today: time, signs of attention, desire, surprise? What have you lost over the years? living together? When was the last time you had a good time together? What exactly are you doing for relationships? When you have decided on your wishes for the future for your couple, share your thoughts with your partner.

2. Time to listen to each other

Choose a moment when both of you are calm and relaxed and ask your partner if they are ready to listen to you. After getting his consent, start the conversation by talking about what you find most enjoyable in your relationship, what pleases you the most. Then name everything that you are missing, while emphasizing that we are talking about your personal expectations. Use only the pronouns "I" and "me" (not "you"). Finally, ask your partner to think about your words and invite him to talk about it again later, when he himself comes to some conclusions.

When each of the two tells what they expect from a relationship, try to figure out together how to satisfy these desires. But you don’t have to come to a decision right away, you shouldn’t push yourself and your partner - everyone has the right to their own rhythm.

4. Time to sum up the first results

Have your relationships improved? Did you feel like you were being heard? What else can you do to make you feel better together? The purpose of this exercise is not to point out the faults of the other and list all the failures and omissions, but to continue to work together on relationships and make new commitments to each other.

JOB. DEFINE YOUR UNCONSCIOUS SETTINGS

Do you feel the need for recognition, is it difficult for you to say “no”, do you fail to manage your time rationally? “Transactional analysis shows that at work, each of us is controlled by one or another internal “driver,” says Vadim Petrovsky. There are five such attitudes, and in most cases one or two of them determine our reactions and actions. If it is possible to determine what they are, then their influence noticeably weakens. And then you can enjoy your work.

The “be perfect” mindset forces us to pay close attention to detail and prevents us from taking risks. It leads to anxiety, defensiveness, and fawning over superiors.

Your job is to learn how to take calculated risks.

The “try hard” attitude leads to the fact that the concepts of “work” and “hard work” become synonymous, and the pleasure of work and the simplicity in achieving results seem unacceptable. It breeds a sacrificial attitude towards work and leads to burnout.

Your task: to learn how to distribute responsibilities and choose what you are most successful in.

The "make others happy" attitude leads to dependency on other people whose interests are ultimately more important than one's own. It creates a position of submission, causes frustration (due to unspoken anger) and does not allow promotion.

Your task: to learn to say "no" (to exorbitant loads) and to say "yes" (to your own pleasure).

The “be strong” attitude guides real Stoics who are ready, gritting their teeth, to move in a given direction. It forms the Teflon-type behavior (“water off a duck's back from me”), which is very popular with tyrant bosses and shameless colleagues.

Your task: to listen to your feelings (emotions and desires) and openly declare your rights.

Installation "hurry up!" characteristic of anxious natures who find it difficult to concentrate. The thought that they are wasting their time terrifies them. This attitude negatively affects self-esteem and does not allow success due to a lack of concentration and perseverance.

Your task is to slow down and calmly assess the situation, having decided on your desires and skills.

CREATION. CREATE AN ALBUM OF YOUR TALENTS

According to Varvara V. Sidorova, “something brings joy to each of us: hobbies, communication, friends, travel, learning and development, favorite animal, drawing, dancing, or maybe you like to clean up, think logically or walk in loneliness." Creative skills hidden in everyone, and it is important to learn to see and develop them. When we - out of ignorance or insecurity - do not use them, we feel empty inside ourselves and complain about the lack of motivation. And when we realize our talents, then, on the contrary, meaning returns to life, and our self-esteem increases. Here is a simple exercise that will allow you to bring out your abilities.

Set aside a free day or evening. Put on pleasant music, try not to distract you. Take a notebook or album, a pen, pencils. Prepare something that will help you think about your past: a notebook, a photo album, letters, postcards, souvenirs ... Someone will also need old magazines, scissors and glue.

Relax and go in search of that episode of your life when you experienced strong positive emotions(pride, joy, pleasure). These are not necessarily moments of triumph - maybe you enjoyed walking in the woods or cooking dinner.

List all these moments and note the commonality between them: I entertained the company (played the flute, gave advice to a friend). Paste a photo, letter, or picture into an album that symbolizes each of these moments. Or make a sketch.

Determine which of your abilities in each case gave you pleasure.

Think how in Everyday life you could exercise and develop these abilities.

Write in a notebook that you make a promise to yourself to use your talents regularly.

Winston Churchill once said: “If you want a job done, make it very busy about my man." It is believed that busy people are better than others in controlling time. It seems that they can do as much in a day as others cannot do. And it is a busy person who will always find the opportunity to make the necessary adjustments to his schedule.

This is usually facilitated by:

Ability to distinguish between priority and secondary matters;

Serious attitude to the deadlines for the completion of work;

The habit of doing everything;

Responsibility for assigned work.

Define responsibilities

Each position has its own title and description, according to the scope. It defines the main functional duties for which the employee is personally responsible.

If you are aware of the scope of your duties, you can always compare them with the work that you actually do.

With absence job description, compose it yourself. Define your main responsibilities. Make a list of what is needed to get the job done effectively. Analyze the real volume of requirements for the position and your contribution to the effective development of the business.

You may find that you are wasting time on non-essential functions. And even if this work is interesting and enjoyable, you still need to realize that wages you don't get paid for that at all.

The first step to making good use of your time is to be clear about what you are directly responsible for. Once you realize this, it will undoubtedly become easier for you to set goals and prioritize.

We set tasks

Setting and achieving goals plays leading role in time management. If you don't know what you want to achieve, you won't know where to start.

By clearly defining the most important tasks and the deadlines for their implementation, you can easily control events. Thus, you will have a chance to reach best results. And you can do it in the time you have.

Don't forget also that setting goals is very helpful. It helps:

Focus on the work being done;

Make a plan for the execution of work for a certain period of time;

Keep others up to date so that they understand what role they are assigned.

Having goals prevents you from wasting your time. To clearly define the goal, you need:

Develop a clear idea of ​​what you plan to achieve;

Put your intentions on paper and stick to them strictly.

Setting priorities

Establishing a priority order will help you achieve your goals. But for this you need to determine the degree of your load and decide which of the accumulated cases need to be completed first. Tasks can be divided into four categories:

main tasks; their implementation serves as an indicator of how effectively you are coping with your duties;

tasks to be performed provided that you have already dealt with your primary affairs;

tasks you would do if there is time (as a rule, these are projects that are not destined to be realized).

low priority tasks, but at the same time simple and pleasant (usually we do them first).

Divide all your work into these four groups. Look at the list and indicate the time required to complete the tasks. Highlight different colors what needs to be done and what you would like to do. Do something nice from time to time. This way you will feel that although this is not the most important issue, you are allowing yourself to take it up as a reward for completing more difficult tasks.

Don't force yourself to be too strict with your priorities. You should always be ready to change if circumstances require it. Be flexible: the situation can change dramatically, and what was a priority will lose its significance. Sticking to the original plan in this case means wasting even more time.

However, if one of the priorities is unexpectedly removed from the agenda (for example, a meeting is canceled), be on the lookout so as not to waste the freed time in vain. Use the accumulated to solve specific task energy for the next task on your list.

urgent and important

Understanding the difference between urgent and important has great value when allocating time.

urgent tasks require immediate resolution, but may be minor (for example, settling a parking issue). Important they demand careful preparation and, as a rule, additional time for reflection (for example, drawing up a business plan for the next quarter).

Urgent tasks often seem important because of the tight deadlines. They require immediate action, but usually do not take long. Usually we try to quickly get rid of urgent matters in order to attend to important ones.

There are also times when it is permissible to be distracted by this moment to something more interesting, putting aside serious matters for a while. But this can only be done if there are good reasons. If you are tempted to do something pleasant, think about how you can make up for the lost time, and calmly, without remorse or guilt, enjoy the pleasant moments.

Of course, there are things that are equally urgent and important. In such a situation, the matter requires full dedication, because it is impossible to determine which of them is more important. But in any case, do not forget about the danger of not meeting the deadlines.

Job types

Analyze your activity. Determine how much time you spend on the performance of managerial duties, and how much is spent on routine work that is characteristic of your line of work or profession.

The leadership position requires:

Think in advance whether everything is available for the effective and high-quality completion of the task;

Collect the right people and the right materials in right time in the right place;

Inform performers about their tasks; explain to them the criteria for evaluating the work performed and, if necessary, give advice;

Ensure that the people involved are privy to the core of the problem and know how to control the process.

In other words, you must be able to plan, organize, direct and control the progress of work.

Take a look at the list of priority tasks. If you do not properly perform any of the listed items, think about what you are still doing and whether it relates to your main duties.

You may well find yourself allowing others to pass on to you what they think are difficult tasks because you are better at them. It is also possible that you are delaying the completion of the task due to lack of a plan or lack of necessary equipment. There can be many reasons for non-fulfillment of basic responsibilities and non-compliance with deadlines. But most importantly, you may not even realize what a significant role your organizational skills play in time management.

Drawing conclusions

Once you define your responsibilities, set goals, prioritize tasks and categorize them into urgent and important, you can easily create a plan. effective use time.

If all this seems too burdensome and time-consuming to you, remember the story of one Chinese emperor. He desired that a cedar alley lead to his palace, and gave the order to fulfill this to the manager of the estate. To which the manager objected to him: "Three hundred years will pass before this idea comes to life." "In that case," said the emperor, "you have not a moment to lose."

Ask yourself

Think about how you plan your time and answer the following questions.

^ Are you clear about your responsibilities? Are you doing what others should be doing?

^ Are the goals of your work clear to you?

^ Do you know what results you should achieve today, provided that you focus on completing one task?

^ Do you see the difference between important and urgent?

^ Are you doing everything to make efficient use of your time?

Everything will work out if…

Define the main tasks;

Set goals;

Fulfill important work according to a predetermined schedule;

Be prepared to adjust your plans in the event of an unforeseen change in the situation;

Clearly distinguish between important and urgent tasks;

Apply if necessary management decisions. This will help you organize your time better;

Start planning your time immediately.