The city noise covers me completely, even headphones with loud music can’t save me, it’s all in vain. The voices of passing people, the rustling of tires, the ringing of hanging bells, all this bursts into my consciousness and does not want to let go into such an unsightly, but painfully alluring silence. I was wet from the recent rain; I could have gone to a coffee shop to warm up and hang my scuffed raincoat to dry. But I continue walking, feeling that it’s starting to shiver, I bite my lip and try not to die from the rush of feelings. ...But I was always for him. I was a supporter of all his crazy plans, but he only benefited from it and was never for me. Maybe only a couple of times, and I must admit, it seemed to me then that everything could have been different with us. But I still met his empty eyes and found absolutely nothing in them. I believed (or better yet, hoped) that behind his indifference was another person who couldn't let go of who he was. this moment is. But I was wrong, again. I, who loved this guy so much, was for him a doll that was so funny to make fun of. Another turn, another, there were so many of them already, alternating streets, residential areas, abandoned shopping centers. But the endless running continued, and I do not hope to escape from my thoughts. ...Lord, why do I need all this? He tried to kill me so many times, and I was ready to fight it. I left him, broke all our ties, promised never to return... But... As soon as he became more affectionate with me, all my impulse immediately disappeared. I loved him so much, and he always laughed at me. The rain was catching up with me again, throwing painfully offensive words in my face that I would never forget. I remembered everything that was connected with the Joker. The evening was like today, the same lousy weather mixed with melancholy. There was nothing to do, and I stayed in one of the shelters, indulged in melancholy and simply got drunk. Later he came and read everything in my eyes, and I didn’t even think about hiding anything. It was then that he threw this cruel phrase at me. “The great villain, Harley Quinn, is in love,” he taunted, but was soon again calm and amiable. Again he gave hints of reciprocal feelings, just a little: whether it was the touch of a hand or a tremblingly exciting word. But he never crossed the cherished line, which means so much to me, but means nothing to him. It’s hard for me to say who we were to each other, but I’m inclined to believe that his attitude towards me was dismissive. This is how they treat a careless child who does not shine with talents or a servant who cleans his master’s shoes every morning. He, in turn, will occasionally notice that effort, but does not attach importance to it. of great importance. Yes, really, why know that there may be some kind of feeling behind this. That’s how love stood behind my submission: irresistible, destructive, truly crazy, but not stopping. The busy streets gradually begin to recede, and I take out the headphones from my ears, in which a song about a villain clown is blaring. However, my favorite. The lights are rarely on in these places, the smell is suffocating, with some kind of aftertaste of carrion, but it doesn’t scare me. I put my hand under my cloak and feel the metal heated from my body, this gives me even more confidence, and I hurry on. Deep into dilapidated houses and broken statues. The rain slows down the run, but there will be no sun. If there were a will, it would burn us all to hell, but for now it endures, and we continue to spin in a circle. Dead leaves rustle underfoot, and not even an hour will pass before they are joined by the wind and sleet. I pull my hair out, turn up my collar, rub my palms in an attempt to warm my numb fingers, but the cold penetrates to my bones. And under my raincoat I only have a short top and shorts, behind which a pistol is hidden. The only thing that still warms is him. The heels barely click, the knees are red, the stinging drizzle stings the cheeks. Lousy. “You died, but I didn’t believe it,” I shouted when I found him, and at that time the news of his death flew throughout the city and the surrounding area. “I’ve been looking for you for so long, hoping that you would give me a sign that you wanted to see me, but you forgot your Harley.” “Maybe I never thought about her? - he answered, fixing his contemptuous gaze, and I burst into wild laughter. Rejoicing and jumping on the spot for no apparent reason, because I felt bad or didn’t care anymore. He looked at me in surprise, then smiled his predatory smile that always drove me crazy.” A lot has passed since those times, but I often scroll through these insignificant words, and it seems that I am completely losing my mind. Finally, I have arrived, but it’s too early to rejoice at anything. I’m frozen, but he’s not there yet, now he’s sitting somewhere warm, holding a glass with an amber liquid splashing in it and again laughing at the unlucky “beloved”. I stood like a frozen statue, leaning my shoulder against brick wall , hiding my chin in the folds of my collar, and for a moment I wanted to disappear. Somewhere deep down in my soul I hated myself for who I had become. Subjected to constant pressure from the Joker, I lost myself, becoming angry, devoid of compassion and, what can I say, conscience. It’s strange that now she’s woken up and trying to reason with me. Being a psychologist and poking around in someone’s life is one thing, but understanding yourself is completely different. This is where it’s possible to go crazy, which I do with success. “To hell with everything,” I whisper, hitting the back of my head against the wall. “So be it,” a voice is heard next to me, and I see the barrel of a pistol in front of me. Just like in the good old days: words of love and contempt, pleas and obedience, forgiveness and farewell, followed by the Joker’s grin. “I could lie that I’m glad to see me,” I say, as if I were spitting poison. “It’s a pity that you didn’t catch this hidden meaning,” Joker, without taking his gun away, examines my face and is probably incredibly happy seeing my downcast appearance. - Are you cold? “No more than you,” I try to control my voice, and I succeed. - Put away the gun, maybe stop trying to kill me all the time? “Sorry, it’s just my bad character, it has nothing to do with you,” he puts the gun away, I don’t have time to trace where. - So what did you want to tell me? I push off from the wall, gather my will into a fist, and order my body not to freeze. He stands half a meter away from me, I smell alcohol and nutmeg, and what appears to be blood. “I want to say goodbye,” I say and follow his gaze. There is still madness in them. But where would he be without him?! “Nice of you,” he drawls. “I loved you,” I defiantly throw out all the anger that I kept within myself. “I followed you everywhere, carried out any of your instructions, but the thought never occurred to you to be grateful and be on an equal footing.” I don’t blame you for being silent about my feelings, you don’t have to love me if your heart is silent... “I don’t have a heart,” he interrupts and smiles bitterly. - Yes, you destroyed it of your own free will, and even the feeling of gratitude is prohibited for you, for anyone who is on your side. But you know, now you will lose me forever and you will no longer force me to play in your game. I turned around, almost hitting his shoulder with mine, my legs were frozen, and I almost fell, but still I walked away. My soul felt bad, I bit my lip until it bled so as not to burst into tears. - Sorry, darling. But I can’t let you go,” he says, and a shot is heard... Just a couple of inches from my ear, I froze, but had the strength to turn around. There was still smoke hanging above the barrel, and the Joker was preparing for a new shot. I carefully put my hand under my cloak; my damn fingers were frozen and didn’t want to bend. “It was a bad farewell,” I drawl, trying to hold his gaze on my face. “I can’t allow this,” he takes a step towards me. - You will only leave me dead. Finally, the fingers obey and painfully squeeze the pistol handle. “I don’t want to disappoint you,” I whisper quietly, forcing him to listen, and grab the gun. The whisper turned into a scream. - But there will be no such goodbye. Shots are heard again, and one of us has a red spot growing on his chest. The pistol falls out of his hands and falls dully to the ground, laughter comes from his mouth and tears seem to shine. The body slowly sinks, blood oozes from the wound, and this wound is fatal. The pistol is still shaking in my hand, my lips are compressed, but I want to howl. I drop him and run to the Joker, falling to my knees, pressing one hand over the wound and running the other over his face. He smiles, as always, but now his eyes don’t lie. There is no plea for forgiveness or repentance, but there is gratitude. I let out a sob and tears stream down my cheeks, my heart filled with pain. The Joker stops smiling and runs a weak hand over my cheek, wiping away the tears. “I’m sorry for causing you so much pain, Harley,” a wheeze comes from the Joker’s chest, blood flows down his lips. “It was impossible to change me, even your love was incapable, because I didn’t love you.” But... - a new wheeze crawls out of my throat. - Now it could work out, I could take the path from which I left many years ago. And you could help me... After all, I... Not so long ago... Realized... That you are something more to me than a “weapon.” He sighs convulsively, and I bend over to his bloody lips, catching my last breath. - I... I... love... I try to catch the flying words, but I only hear the sound of the wind and the creaking of the old house. He won't say anything more. I look up at the sky and close my eyes. It’s getting warmer and I’m no longer so scared from the realization of the loss of my loved one. Even after leaving, he remained with me, I will always love him, even if this bullet was intended for me. I smile through my tears and feel the first snowflakes on my hot cheeks. They will melt and dissolve in my tears, but someday it will snow again and, perhaps, the same snowflakes that melted on my skin will again swirl in the early evening sky. Reminding that everything in this world can happen again, and even death does not mean that we will not see each other again.

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Will you live for me, Mr. Jay? – Harley asks very quietly, unexpectedly for herself, squeaks exhaustedly, like a tiny, pathetic kitten, mercilessly crushed by a heavy boot. And, perhaps, for the first time in her life, the mad Queen of Gotham is really scared, for the first time in her life she is afraid to die, afraid to believe, to realize that she is really just a doll, a toy, a sickly sweet candy for a crazy child who can replace her at any moment another.

Our feelings are not always mutual. Or love can bring more suffering than joy. If you are caged by your own experiences, The best decision– understand how to let a person go from your thoughts.

This will bring you long-awaited relief and wonderful opportunities for a new life. The best way to help with this is the advice of a psychologist, which will be discussed step by step in this article.

Many people confuse the concepts of “letting go” and “forgetting” or “falling out of love” completely. The easiest way to understand this is to think about the literal meaning of “letting go.”

For example, a little girl was bought balloon. She was very happy with him and played with him for a long time. But soon she wanted to play with other toys. So she took the thread and let it go. The ball flew into the sky and became free.

In the same way, a person fixated on a burdensome relationship needs to switch to something else. But this does not mean that at this stage he will not remember about his loved one and will completely forget about him.

• Letting go means stopping interfering in your personal life, trying to control and being aware of everything.
• Start living your own life, without looking at the person you are thinking about
• Enjoy freedom
• Be ready for new love
• Understand the lessons of the past
• Forgive yourself and your loved one
• Find harmony and joy from every new day
  

  Why is this even necessary?

There is a category of people who do not understand why they should abandon a person. They firmly believe that with the necessary persistence and ingenuity, they can achieve reciprocity. To put it bluntly, force yourself to love. But this is a big mistake.

Let's say a person likes pineapples. But he is indifferent to pears or cannot tolerate them at all. And no matter how much you pretend that you are a pineapple, you will not stop being a pear. That's how the circumstances turned out.

But there are many people who, on the contrary, prefer pears to other fruits. So maybe it’s worth considering other options and finding a more suitable one?

Disadvantages of trying to hold on tighter to someone who is “not your own”:

1. No matter what actions you take, you will not be able to influence a person so that he will reciprocate.
2. Instead of the happiness you deserve, you only see self-pity, resentment, and dissatisfaction.
3. You are only prolonging your suffering. In the end, you won't be together anyway.
4. Because of constant encroachments, a person will begin to show disrespect for you and become irritated. You will be forced to humiliate yourself all the time.
5. As a result of such persecution, you will get upset nerves and a predisposition to depression.
6. You will lose interest in your own life, your goals and aspirations. If you continue in the same spirit, then dismissal from work, expulsion from the institute and other troubles are not far off.
   
   Will this make you feel better?

Psychologist's advice: Relationships are what give us positive emotions, not what destroys us. You are like everyone else Living being, worthy of love. You don’t have to go out of your way to please, or change your principles. A lot of people will appreciate you without it.

Why don’t you let go of thoughts about a person?

If you can’t forget someone, it means that person was very important to you. Your feelings for him are very strong, so your thoughts always return to him. Or the object caused you a lot of offense and disappointment. And now you have negative feelings towards him or even a desire for revenge for everything he caused to you. In any case, you should abandon unnecessary thoughts as quickly as possible. So that they don’t lie like a dead weight in your soul.

Case from practice:

Irina’s story: “For a very long time, thoughts about my former, beloved husband haunted me. We were together for 6 years, legally married for 3 years. The separation turned out to be very quick and unexpected. In just a month, his attitude changed a lot. All my attempts to please were in vain.

After which he left without really explaining anything. For 1.5 years I waited for him to return and say that he was mistaken and ask for forgiveness. But instead I found out that he married someone else and they were expecting a child. It was a real shock! I realized that I couldn’t handle it on my own.

The feelings never cooled down; I didn’t even want to look at other men. I decided to see a psychologist. I was very pleased with the result. After a few sessions, I became much calmer about the situation and was able to accept it.

Gradually I realized that life goes on and thoughts about my ex left me. Only a psychologist helped me start building new relationships.”

How to erase the person you love from your thoughts?

So, you understand the inevitability and importance of this moment. Congratulations, this means half the way has already been completed!

It will be very useful to be able to thank the person. Parting is not a loss, but a gain. The most important thing in life is experience. And you need to learn from this experience to find your mistakes and not repeat them in the future.

Even if you received only suffering and pain, do not despair. This is an opportunity to grow up, not get too attached to people, and learn to build harmonious relationships.

To say goodbye to a person correctly, it is important to do everything in stages. It is not recommended to skip any of the stages. Otherwise, what you missed will still come up, and the moment will not be the most appropriate.

1. Give free rein to your emotions. There is no need to try to drown out the negativity. You can cry, scream, get angry, sob. If you feel better after a large portion of ice cream, use this method too. Some people like to write down their experiences on paper.
2. After you come to your senses a little, move on to analyzing the situation. Let's face it. Do not try to embellish the situation and the person who has left. Write down all the advantages of this relationship in column 1, and all the disadvantages in column 2. And then think again, were they really that good?
3. Say thank you to your ex-lover for all the good things that happened. Sincerely wish him happiness.
4. Now there is no need to look for the guilty and engage in soul-searching. It will be easier to think through everything when you calm down completely.
5. Carry out a suspension. Throw away or put away all gifts and photographs that remind you of the past. Don't get carried away by melodramas and music about unhappy love. Change your phone number so you don't have to wait for a call. In a word, delete the past.
6. Change your appearance. This also helps to psychologically tune in to new life. Change your hairstyle, wardrobe. Take up exercise at the gym. Even if not excess weight, tightening up your figure never hurts. Plus, it boosts self-confidence well.
7. Think about how you could fill the emptiness within yourself. Something nice and interesting. A new activity, a pet, a book about relationships and personal growth. Don't isolate yourself, communicate more. If you can afford it, it would be good to travel.
8. Learn to enjoy life again. Enjoy the little things. Make your wishes come true.
9. Plan your future life. The wish map stimulates well in this.
10. Now you can analyze the past with a cold mind. Reflect on mistakes and lessons learned.

After all the stages you will definitely feel renewed. And your pain will pass.

IN different cases required different quantity time for the whole process. From a month to a year. But the sooner you take this path, the sooner you can free yourself from the burden.

Important tip: Don't wallow in self-pity. Don't worry about how unhappy your fate is. How lonely you are. It is better to remember in difficult moments about those who are even worse. About orphans, disabled people, lonely old people.

Better yet, think about how you can help them alleviate their suffering. And then you will forget about your own pain.

Useful meditation

When you have to part with your loved one, thoughts naturally arise that you will never be able to love again. I just don't want to experience the same pain again.

But you don’t need to cultivate this opinion in yourself. After all, without love, life is boring and insipid. Instead, try a great meditation to help restore a healthy attitude towards love.

1. When you are alone and no one will disturb you, dim the lights and sit in a comfortable position.
2. Concentrate and close your eyes. Consider where your capacity for love may lie.
3. When you find the right place, fixate on it.
4. Imagine light emanating from this point in your body. Mentally direct it to your beloved pet or loved one.
5. If you did everything right, you will have a desire to do something good for the people around you. To those people to whom the glow was directed.
   
   If you do this exercise every day, unnoticed by yourself, you will discover that the resentment inside will be replaced by genuine love for the environment.

Letting go from our hearts and thoughts

Can't you forget someone for a long time? This practice will help destroy even old connections and free yourself from negativity.

1. Go to a quiet place and make yourself comfortable.
2. Close your eyes and imagine the performance stage. On stage is a man who has caused a lot of suffering.
3. Now imagine yourself on a height above this person or floating in the air.
4. Focus on your offender. Imagine it in great detail, down to the smallest detail.
5. Feel all the sensations you feel for him as acutely and vividly as possible.
6. Then imagine what the connection between you looks like? Barely visible threads or thick rope? Or maybe plastic tube? What do they connect? Chest, throat, stomach or neck area?
7. Visualize this state for a while.
8. Think about what personal character traits you and this person lack so that the relationship becomes less painful. Maybe patience, fortitude, self-confidence? Think carefully about all your options.
9. Now imagine how God or a guardian angel appears above the stage, who sufficiently possesses all the qualities.
10. Contact him with a request to give what is missing. Start imagining how you are filled with everything you need. Feel it very clearly, how you change from this.
11. Visualize how you convey the missing qualities to the person connected with you through the channel. Let it fill completely.
12. Then look at it again. Did he change after that? What exactly has become different: emotions, smile on your face, posture?
13. If necessary, talk to him. Surely he taught you a good lesson, taught you something new. Even through painful experiences. In any case, ask for forgiveness, even if he is more to blame for you.
14. Then imagine breaking the connection. How would you like to do this? With scissors or cut with a sword? Remember what you look like separately, free from each other.

How to let go of a deceased loved one

The death of a loved one is a real tragedy for those who have to deal with it. After such a blow of fate, it is not easy to get back on your feet and move on with your life. ordinary life. Especially when someone close to us dies young or even a child.

Many cannot accept the injustice of what happened. There are people who are unable to come to terms with this situation even a year after death. Often they carry on an ongoing dialogue with the deceased, as if he were still alive.

Adviсe:

1. No one denies your difficult situation. But don't forget about common sense. Try to convince yourself of the need to return to life. After all, it has already happened, and nothing can be changed. Especially with tears and hysterics. If you stop being heartbroken now, you may undermine your health and psyche. But this won’t make it better, will it? Think about your surviving loved ones.
2. Often strong experiences haunt us when a person feels guilty before the deceased. Perhaps you did not behave very well towards him, were rude or not attentive enough, did not help when he needed it. But now nothing can be changed. And your suffering won't help matters either. Therefore, concentrate better on living people. Try to behave similar situations more in the best possible way. Surely many of your close acquaintances also need help and support.
3. Think about it this way: I was not indifferent to him. Therefore, he would not like to see me in agony and sadness. After all, no one would really want to become the cause of suffering for a loved one.
   
4. Try to give all your strength to your work. Good way improve matters and forget about painful thoughts. Because there simply won’t be time left for them.
   
5. Think that the deceased has gone to better world. According to Christianity, the human soul is immortal, only the body dies. Pray for him. If this doesn’t help, talk to a priest. Ask all your questions. Don't hush anything up. Sometimes, to find peace, you just need to talk it out. Case from practice:

Victoria's story: “I never thought that such grief could happen in my life. My beloved son died at the age of 7 years. For a long time I couldn’t believe what had happened. It seemed that all this was not happening to me.

But the reality was monstrous. Life ceased to interest me completely, although other close people remained - my husband and eldest daughter. My husband signed me up to see a psychologist and literally forced me to go. To my surprise, I felt a little better after the first conversation.

So I continued the treatment. The psychologist helped me look at what happened from the other side, remember that other loved ones need me, and understand that you can continue to live, even after the death of a child.

To stop racing thoughts about the past in your head and forget a person, you need fortitude and a wise attitude towards the situation. If you are in a difficult situation, our specialists will definitely help you consultations with a psychologist online. Don't isolate yourself and your grief.

The sooner you take the first step, the fewer days you will have to spend in agony. An experienced psychologist is the best medicine for the soul and a harmonious life.

When a man and woman enter into a relationship, they do not think about the fact that sooner or later one partner will spiritually lose the other. It often happens that a person ceases to feel love for his soul mate. This results in disharmony, emotional balance is lost, and the couple can no longer exist as a single whole. To forget a loved one to whom you had to say goodbye, you need to master the basics of psychology. Experts have developed effective recommendations that will help with this.

Why is it difficult to let go of someone you love?

It would seem, why can’t you break the connection and let the man go? We got rid of his gifts, found a hobby, threw extraneous thoughts out of our heads. However, everything is not as simple as it might seem at first glance.

False dreams

1. It is difficult for a woman to let go of a man in cases where she has high hopes for him. The mentally beautiful lady has already married the object of her adoration and given birth to children. However, in reality, the gentleman is not to blame for the fact that you have placed an unbearable burden on him.
2. When a relationship has just begun, certain qualities young man took up. As time passed, his essence began to break out, you missed this moment. As a result, resentment and disappointment accumulated every day, causing mental pain.
3. A false image does not allow a woman to look soberly at her chosen one. Rose-colored glasses paint a new picture in which everything is fine between the two of you. But it is important to understand that problems “in paradise” have not gone away.
4. When you finally realize that the plan will not come true, your dreams fall apart. All the images presented in the head lose their power, because the man simply does not correspond to them. On a subconscious level, a woman feels betrayed.

Possessive instinct

1. When girls enter into relationships, they unwittingly begin to perceive a man as property. It is important to understand that no person can belong to you. Serfdom was abolished long ago.
2. Men are not sold at auction, they are not put up for sale in stores, and they are not given as a birthday present. Every person has the right to choose who to be with and how to spend their future life.
3. Realize the essence of what is happening. If the situation has gained sharp turn, as a result of which your partner left you, this is his choice. Accept this decision and let go of your possessive instincts.

Anger

1. In most cases, after a breakup or during a quarrel, a woman becomes angry with her man. Perhaps you have serious arguments in this regard, which are accompanied by resentment.
2. It is important to understand that a man could only offend you if you, on a subconscious level, wanted to be offended. This feature is typical of girls who prefer to play the role of the victim.
3. Get rid of similar behavior, let go of the anger. Focus on the good things in your life. Stop remembering all the bad things the man has done. People make mistakes, don't blame him for the breakup.

The above are the reasons why it is difficult to let go of your loved one. Psychologists have compiled a number effective recommendations, let's consider them in order.

Don't think about the past

1. If you did everything possible to save the relationship, but failed to achieve results, do not blame yourself. Let go of the situation, the man has made his choice. There is no need to think about the fact that you were inactive.
2. It is important to understand that your loved one needs to be let go. At such moments, pain accumulates in the soul, and memories of good moments follow everywhere.
3. Assess the full scale of the problem, answer the main questions. Do you love a man or is there just a feeling of affection? Did your self-esteem suffer when your partner left? Would it have been easier to handle the situation if you had left first?
4. People who have been abandoned do not feel love for the departed partner. In most cases, they lick the wounds that formed after the loss of self-esteem. Many girls cannot come to terms with the fact that their partner left them.
5. As a rule, for such persons, parting with a man is quickly forgotten. At the same time, you won’t have to be sad and cry at night, everything will go away by itself. Let go of the past, allow yourself and him to move on.
6. Immerse yourself in your career, go in for sports, start a pet. Sign up for courses, tidy up your appearance and wardrobe. Buy lace underwear, change your look, communicate with the opposite sex.

Turn to meditation

1. Meditation means thinking and thinking. The concept of self-awareness allows you to penetrate the hidden corners of the soul and free yourself from emotions. In your case, meditation will help remove the anger that appeared after your partner left.
2. Learn to forgive, try telling your partner “Thank you!” for having him in your life. This move normalizes balance and harmony in the soul, stabilizes the psycho-emotional background. Let go of the offense, and with it your loved one.
3. It is important not only to forgive a man, but also to ask him for forgiveness. Free your mind from negative emotions, hug each other and part ways like adults. At first it will hurt, but over time the resentment will not eat you up from the inside.
4. To properly meditate, find a quiet place where you feel comfortable. Relax, close your eyes. Focus on breathing and stay in this position for 5 minutes.
5. After you calm down, begin to mentally collect your anger and disappointment bit by bit. Push the negativity into an imaginary abyss until you believe that the pain has disappeared.
6. Accompany the procedure with a relaxing melody (not songs), relax. You can meditate in the bath based on essential oils or medicinal herbs.

Do cleansing exercises

1. Take a piece of paper, write down possible complaints and grievances that are directed at the man. Go outdoors in a nice place. Imagine your ex-partner is standing in front of you. Say out loud that you understand the true reasons for his actions. Apologize to the imaginary image for possible reproaches and other misunderstandings. It is important to remember that in the process of understanding and forgiving your companion, you cleanse your aura of negativity. Go through all the points, find a reasonable explanation for his actions.
2. After completing the forgiveness exercise, turn to gratitude. Make a list of actions for which you are grateful to your man. It may have made you stronger in spiritually or realized old dreams. Thank your ex-partner for making the choice in a timely manner and not stretching it out over a lifetime. List only those things for which you are truly grateful. Don't jump over your head when in doubt. All people come into our lives for a reason. Likewise, your companion left a mark (not necessarily negative) on your soul; thank him for that.

Love yourself

1. You won't be able to let a man go if you don't cultivate self-love. This big job which requires attention to detail. It is easier for girls to achieve the effect because modern world provides various services for such purposes.
2. Buy a gym membership, sign up for a course of massage and body wraps. Start attending a dance school to gain confidence and sexiness. Assess your figure: if something doesn’t suit you, go on a diet.
3. Change your image radically, reconsider your clothing style and makeup. Get your hair or nails done. Develop not only aesthetically, but also spiritually and materially. Sign up for advanced training courses and achieve heights in your career.
4. Visit cafes and cinemas, communicate with the opposite sex, spend time as you wish. Read books, study foreign language. You are now free woman, travel, have fun.

It is difficult to let go of a loved one, but sometimes circumstances are not the most favorable. Turn to meditation, let go of the past, do forgiveness and gratitude exercises. Take care of your appearance, change your wardrobe, play sports.

Video: how to forget the person you love

Question for a psychologist:

Hello! For half a year now I have not been able to let go of my past relationship. We dated for 3 years, but there were 2 breakups. The separations were long, about half a year. Then he came back to me with the words: “Forgive me, you were the best, I’m a fool.” I forgave and we met again. And every time I kept thinking that this time it would definitely work out, because he was so determined at the beginning, and then over time his interest in me disappeared, and he became less and less for me, and I began to quarrel, he did not understand me, I only annoyed him more. It was moving towards separation again. After that, thoughts appeared in my head, maybe let him go and find a new guy, but at the same time I wanted to let him go, in the hope that he wouldn’t let me go anywhere and we’d be together. I let him go and he agreed not to be together anymore, but after a week I gave up and wrote to him, but he had already rejected me. After that we didn’t communicate for half a year. Then he wrote to me. This was our first breakup. The second breakup is similar to the first. The third is the current one, he himself decided to leave me and said that we are not suitable for each other and it is better to be separately. A couple of months later he just wrote to me to ask how things were going, but he didn’t write again. Now he has a new girlfriend, as I understand it. I want to start a new life, but the guys who appear on my way are not interesting to me. They don't touch me in any way. And I'm afraid that I won't meet the one. And the unknown also worries me. I live every ordinary day, and now I have no meaning in life. I often think about the past, how I used to be happy, but now I have nothing. And I understand that I can’t go back there, I’m not welcome there. And I don’t know how to get out of this.

Psychologist Elena Nikolaevna Gladkova answers the question.

Hello, Daria!

Parting with someone you care about is always difficult! And in your case, it also hurts, since this separation is due to the fact that your partner did not appreciate your abilities to forgive and wait.

Of course, past relationships may still “interfere” with the creation and construction of new ones for some time. But in order to speed up the time of their impact, especially if there is an understanding that the break in the past is final, there are several methods that I can offer you for your use.

Look at your past relationships from the point of view of what you were able to learn from them. Analyze what you would like to take with you from the old ones as experience and use further, and what you are ready to leave as memories, but would absolutely not want to see in your other relationships. Look at the relationship from the perspective of whether you are satisfied with your position in it, whether the role of the “standard” that your partner offered you, constantly comparing you with other applicants, is suitable for you, are you ready to continue to give up your desires and come to terms with the role a faithful friend, waiting for her partner after another “binge” on the side in search of another possible ideal. Perhaps, after returning, you were presented with some additional requirements as conditions for your continued stay together. Did they suit you? Are you ready to constantly change yourself to suit the new demands of another guy who is changeable and unable to decide on his requirements for a partner, who is ready to distinguish you from those around him and wants to give you preference? Think about what you would agree to do in order to “meet the one,” and most importantly, keep him close to you?

Now a little about the unknown in your life. I don’t think you are the only one who is lost in doubts about your future destiny and life. Of course, you can resort to the help of all sorts of fortune tellers and prophets who will be happy to lift the veil over the future for you! There would be desire and opportunity! But, I assure you that everything they can offer you will still depend on what you yourself do to fulfill these prophecies, what steps you take, what people you choose. Therefore, in my opinion, it is much easier and more reliable to think through your steps without prophecies, coordinating them only with your own desires, having decided on what you want to achieve or receive, who to see next to you, having studied what you yourself can offer to others. And then move according to the planned plan, constantly adjusting it with your new capabilities, your new requests, but not forgetting that others have them too.

Past it has already happened. And the best thing a person can do with it is to preserve it in their memories, their history, draw some conclusions from it, use the experience gained in it to further move through life. And although the end of life is theoretically understandable and practically inevitable for everyone, everyone fills the distance from birth to death with their own events, their own history. And whether it will be about “that the poor girl waited and waited and never got it... in general, everyone died,” or will it be colored with the bitterness of losses and the joy of new discoveries of herself and her happiness, depends only on the creator of such a personal story.