Many people began to ask me the question: how to become a pastor? This is both a difficult and simple question at the same time. But I consider the pastoral calling not only the highest calling in the Church, but also the most difficult. On this topic, I recall one statement: “ Being a pastor is just wonderful, great, amazing. This is the best calling in the world. If not for one "but" that spoils everything - it's people. If not for the people. "
Therefore, I decided to write this post for those who are considering becoming a pastor. I do this on the one hand, to support, and on the other, in order to sober up. I think that the ministry should be approached with soundness and understanding of what you are doing. Though! If I knew what awaited me on this path, then, most likely, I would have refused ...
Take your time to start
This is my signature tip for almost any occasion. Never rush. I am sure that with haste, mistakes cannot be avoided. Time will always be on your side if you do not rush it. It is worth understanding and accepting the fact that everything happens in due time.
When we are in a hurry, we do it with two motives. Firstly, it is disbelief that this is actually your calling, and we are afraid to miss the chance to take a position. And, secondly, it is the fear that someone else might take this place. This is also disbelief. If your calling is from God, then no one will take your place, and no one except God will remove you from him. And if He removes you, then only in order to call you into something more.
Take your time, let God prepare you.
Talk to your pastor
If you do not have a pastor and you are a person outside the church, then you can forget about pastorship, because, like any ministry, it is a relay race. Someone has to send you. If there is no one to send you, then, first of all, it is worth finding such a minister.
The conversation with the pastor is important because his calling, among other things, is to see your calling and help you realize it. He prays for you and sees if you are a pastor by your calling, if you have the heart of a pastor, if you are ready for such a ministry.
Just ask him if he sees you as a pastor? And listen to his words as words given by the Holy Spirit. It will help you. He will give you advice that will help you fulfill your vocation or stop you from making a mistake.
But before that, the question to be asked is: What is it like to be a pastor? What was the reason for his decision to become a pastor? What's the hardest part? What happened? What would he change? What would you not do? And would he become a pastor if he knew what he knows today? Trust that the answers will help you understand the true nature of pastoral ministry and make the right decision.
Talk to the pastor of another church
Talk to at least one other pastor. One person's opinion, be it positive or negative, cannot be objective. The experience of one is the experience of one. The opinion of a few can create a trend and show the true picture. It would be good to be guided by this principle in everything.
Also, a pastor who is not interested in you may be less engaged and biased, or less competent. Both will help him see in you what the one who is nearby cannot see. It's like a painting that is worth looking at from a distance.
Talk to your wife or fiancee
The spouse, even the future one, plays an important role in the pastoral ministry. How much she supports you will determine the entire course of the ministry. If she doesn’t become an assistant, then you will not be able to cope.
Therefore, it is necessary to enlist her support. Talk to her. Does she see herself as the pastor's wife? Tell her what awaits her, without embellishing or letting gloom. That is why the conversation with the pastor should take place before this.
Give her time to think. Women are emotional, and even if the first reaction is hysteria, it will pass and your spouse will start thinking. She herself will come to you when she thinks. Don't rush her. And, if she is not ready to support you, then you should not rush to start.
Talk to friends
Friends know us very well. We spend a lot of time with them and have experienced various situations with them. Therefore, their opinion can be very helpful to you.
Tell them about your desire, plans and dreams. Let them laugh at you. They will definitely think. Perhaps their words will be harsh, but if they are real friends, then they will speak the truth. Moreover, if you can withstand the criticism of friends, then you are ready to overcome the criticism that comes into your life once you become a pastor.
Ask for their support at your start. Friends who want to help you start your ministry are very important help. And let them initially say that they will not stay with you forever or simply promise to pray. This is already a lot.
Start by taking responsibility for one person
Scripture teaches us that the faithful in little will be placed above many. I think that no one will stop you from taking responsibility for some person.
Start praying for one of those people around you. For a neighbor, an unbelieving friend, teacher, boss, colleague, and so on. Start praying for him every day. Begin to testify to him. Bring him to Christ, show him the way he should go. Begin to instruct him, teach him how to pray, read Scripture, understand the will of God and do it.
In essence, this is pastoral ministry. I'm sure a pastor is not a church leader, but a father. And fatherhood always starts with one child. True, there are twins, but rarely. Responsibility for one thing and the difficulties that you face will surely sober you up. But, if after that you are still able to desire the pastoral ministry, then you can move on.
Work on character
Pastoral work is one of the most dangerous. This is the realm of constant temptation. The pressure is in all areas of life. And while most stumble about power, sex, and money, these are not the only sins attacking ministers.
The anointing will not keep you from falling. Literacy will not help you avoid sin. The only thing you need to be safe is true Bible values fused into your character.
And it's worth taking care of this before you start serving. Don't think that you can solve problems as they arise. It's a delusion. It is best to be aware of the approaching enemy and be prepared for the meeting.
Define your weaknesses and start praying about it. Ask friends and ministers to pray for this. Look for ways to get rid of bad or simply unnecessary habits. Inoculate wholesome and necessary. Do not spare your time and effort for this. It will keep your calling.
Identify your true motivation
Think well about why you want to become a pastor? What drives you? Maybe you wanted a more important or higher position in the Church? Or the authorities? Perhaps you want to prove to your opponents that you are worth something?
Wrong motivation can and will lead to wrong decisions and ruin your life. And in the case of the pastoral ministry, not only yours, but also those who follow you. Taking responsibility for other people should make us very careful.
What could be the right motivation? Love for God, for people, for the Church. Desire to please and glorify the Lord. Fulfillment of revelation and thirst to follow the Holy Spirit. Perhaps this is not all, but, in my opinion, love is still the main motive.
Check your calling
Often we understand or see our vocation dimly, not clearly, seeing only what we are called to serve and we ourselves think out where and how. Don't be afraid to look insecure, especially if you are. Ask questions to God. Go for advice from the anointed ones, whose calling is obvious, and they serve in it.
At this stage, I highly recommend fasting and solitary prayer. Nobody should interfere. You, God and Scripture. Everything heard, digested and understood or not understood must be given to God and wait for an answer. Search for an answer. The error can be fatal and costly. Therefore, it is worth being persistent and persistent.
If you are confident in your calling, having received it directly from God, then you will never give up and reach your goal. If you leave a little doubt, then it will spread to all areas of service, and ultimately destroy it.
Deal with the problems
Perhaps you have unfinished business, unpaid debts, or tails of broken promises. Someone may have a broken relationship or problematic consequences. Before you "take the plow", you should allow them to the maximum. From my own experience I know how it can subsequently "catch up" at the most inopportune time. Yes, and wasting time on this, when you are loaded with ministry, is not particularly successful, and the problems grow, multiply, threatening to bury you under them.
Find a mentor and be accountable
A minister not accountable to anyone is a ticking time bomb. It will tear apart not only the Church, but you as well. Therefore, it is worth striving to avoid this by all means.
We are usually accountable to those who sent us. This situation is harmonious and natural. Don't try to strive for independence. If for some reason there is no mentor, then you should find him.
Accountability is complete transparency in all areas. You don’t just choose the person to whom you will pay tithing, but the one who will say “no” to you, and you will obey, even if you don’t like him or think that he is wrong.
He will correct you, discipline you, and he will become the one who will film you if you sin. And he will also help you rise, solve problems and see reality.
Assemble a team
One person has never done anything worthwhile. Even Noah was not alone in building the ark. His sons helped him. A pastor without a team is also unable to cope with the overarching task of founding and building the Church.
For many pastors, that team is their family. But it is best to find people who not only share your vision and understanding, but also have the necessary set of gifts and talents.
It would be nice to have a man with a guitar if he himself is not able to play music at first. Nice to help with preaching and working with people. Just look at your weaknesses and find people who will make up for your weaknesses.
If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, gather a team.
Being a pastor is not an easy job and requires complete dedication. It's like getting married - once and for all.
The confession of the pastor. Let's take off our rose-colored glasses for a moment and see the real picture. Being a pastor is incredibly difficult; the church often sins by speaking only of wonderful blessings, the reward of ministry - as if it is getting better and better every day. Published on the web portal
We somehow forget to mention the suffering that is involved in the ministry. Have we forgotten or are we afraid that people will not want to become pastors if they find out the truth? I hate to bring bad news, but there are a few things we cannot prepare new pastors for.
Here are a few points that I would like someone to come and tell when I was 20 years old. I've spent the last 10 years getting to this point with a lot of bumps:
Things I would like to know before becoming a pastor
1. This will be the hardest thing you have ever done.
No seriously! It's very, very, very difficult! Imagine the hardest thing you've ever done and multiply it a hundredfold. Then you will have an idea of how difficult pastoring is. If you feel like becoming a pastor because it sounds fun and easy, do something else.
2. Spirituality and love for Christ will not be enough; you must be able to lead people.
Your character and love for Christ are key and more important than anything else to enter this position. However, it doesn't matter how godly you are: if you cannot lead people, it will be difficult for you.
3. People will avoid you and behave strangely simply because you are a pastor.
People will behave one way when you are around and differently when you are not. Others will avoid you because you represent God and they feel guilty. This is why many pastors dread the inevitable question when they meet someone: "Well, what are you doing?"
4. People will expect you to be open and available 24/7.
You will receive nocturnal messages and calls. Some of them will be urgent, some will be able to wait. You will have to set boundaries in your schedule because the pastor's job never ends.
5. Workaholism will be rewarded, but it will destroy your family.
Pastors who work too hard get praise and grow ... until their family falls apart. Then we feel sorry for them. You will often have to choose between serving and being with your family.
6. It hurts when people stop attending your church.
It doesn't matter how good you are. Some will go away. It's unavoidable. You may not be the reason for leaving at all, but it is always taken personally.
7. You will have to fight the urge to compete with other churches.
You will always lose if you compare. If you compare yourself to a smaller church, you will feel proud. If you compare more to the church than yours, you will feel envy. Both senses are sinful.
8. Attacks from within the church will be worse than from outside.
You will expect attacks from people outside the church. But enemy attacks from within are possible, as Judas betrayed Jesus. They hurt the most.
9. No one will teach you until you figure it out for yourself.
The people you would like to be your mentors are busy. No one ever noticed my "great young potential" or tried to mentor me. I literally had to run after each of my mentors.
10. You will have to deal with pessimism, bitterness and depression.
You will have periods of doubt about God's knowledge, feelings of resentment towards the people in your church, and even depression. One of the worst years of my life was the result of an unpleasant pastoring experience.
11. Your success in the eyes of others will be measured by the number of parishioners.
I wish it weren't true, but it's true. If your flock is growing, people will praise you. If it shrinks, people will blame you. Whether you like it or not, this is how people think.
12. You will never be good enough.
It doesn't matter what you do, some people won't love you. You will never be good enough to please everyone. And you yourself will often feel that you are inadequate and unprepared.
13. Whether good or bad, it will affect your family.
Whether you like it or not, your ministry will have a profound impact on your family. Some families grow closer to the Lord in ministry together; others do not. Serving will make your family either better or worse. Fight it.
14. Without a seminar degree, you will consider yourself less competent.
I wish I had entered seminary earlier. Not only for the sake of knowledge, but also because having an education meant a lot to me. You can argue whether you need it or not, but if you have no education, you will be judged. And lack of proper education can hinder you from moving forward.
15. Money will be a problem.
You will have financial difficulties, especially at first. Many pastors are not paid enough. You must be prepared for this. You won't be scared that you can't buy new clothes, good house or give your wife and children what you would like to give?
16. You will likely need to move frequently.
The average length of time a pastor stays in a church depends on his role. However, most of the pastors I know, including myself, have lived in many cities throughout their lives, serving in numerous churches. A pastor who has worked in the same church all his life is a rare and admirable thing.
17. When you have to leave the church, you will leave many friends there.
Whether you wanted to leave or made the choice for you, you will lose more than just your job: you will lose your church family. When a pastor leaves the ministry, there is always a painful sense of loss. Your wife and children will feel it too.
18. Spiritual warfare is real and the enemy will attack you and your family in ways you never imagined.
Each pastor can tell you some stories of crazy things that happened during the worst of times. If Satan does not derail you, he will try to hurt your family. My family is constantly under attack until God does something great. Pray constantly and ask others to pray for your family.
19. Often the fighting spirit will leave you, and you will think about leaving.
Most pastors call these days Monday. Even if everything goes well on Sunday, the enemy will still try to use that one negative comment to bring you down.
20. It's worth it!
A life fully dedicated to Christ is the world's greatest reward. You will suffer. It won't be easy, but worth it. Agree to God's call to serve Him - the best solution I have ever accepted. You will take a front row seat to see how lives change, marriages are healed, and the prodigal sons return. The impact you have will have an effect after your death. Generations of families will change because you stayed true and didn't give up.
If you find this article too negative, then I will tell you that there are many reasons why I am happy to be a pastor. If this article makes you sad, then it should. Unfortunately, this is a reality that pastors meet every day.
Do you agree with this? What would you like to know before becoming a pastor?
March is forty-three years old. She and her husband have three healthy and quite normal children, who are eight, ten and twelve years old. She has been an active member of the church for ten years. She is in the hospital recovering from the operation, but is already feeling well enough to be able to talk to her.
Jude came to the hospital to visit his aunt and at the same time dropped in to see Martha. He knew Martha well enough, since they had worked together in various church groups for eight years. He was a little worried at the thought of what he would say to Martha, because he was not used to visiting the sick. Still, Jude decided to definitely see her: when he himself was in the hospital, he was always pleased when someone visited him.
Talk
Jude began the conversation by greeting Martha and asking how she was feeling. Martha complained in response that she was not very happy being in the hospital. Then Martha fell silent, there was a short pause, and Jude, sympathizing with Martha, said: "I understand you very well, Martha, when you talk about the hospital." Then he began to tell Martha in all details about the "suffering" that doctors, nurses and other hospital staff caused him when he himself happened to lie there. Martha, not wanting to offend the person who paid attention to her and came to visit her, smiled, nodded in attention, listening to the end of everything that Jude had to say. Martha then said, “I wonder how my husband and my children are doing. It’s hard for them, probably, without me. ” Jude cheerfully replied, “You don’t have to worry, you have a wonderful husband. I see in church how attentive he is to children. My wife keeps telling me that I should treat our children the same way. ” Martha replied in a calm, even voice: "You are probably right." Jude continued to talk about how smart Martha's husband is, how he himself wanted to raise children as much as he did, convincing Martha that she had nothing to worry about. When Jude stopped talking, Martha barely smiled and thanked him for stopping by. Jude took the hint, promised to stop by again, and said goodbye.
Reflections
This conversation left Martha upset and confused, and she did not leave the feeling of guilt. She was upset because the visitor hardly listened to her. Jude talked more about his experiences in the hospital and about the children, and paid no attention to Martha herself. What's more, Jude's cheerful speech reinforced the guilt she had felt in her past for worrying about her husband and children. Finally, Martha was at a loss for two reasons. First, she was haunted by the thought of a visitor — she knew Jude had the best of intentions when he visited her, but after he left, she sighed with relief. Second, she didn’t know how to deal with the feelings of guilt and anxiety that had not left her.
Jude left Martha's room with a sense of relief, glad that he had managed to find a topic for conversation, especially after the conversation seemed to be at a standstill. But he still wondered how this conversation had gone. He tried to cheer Martha up by telling her what her good husband Jude really wanted to raise her children as well, but he felt that his words did not cheer her up too much. Jude wanted to know how to talk to people to help them feel better; he really wanted to know the basic principles of such conversations.
VISITING A PATIENT BY AN EXPERIENCED PERSON
Chris has served in this church for twelve years. She knew and loved Martha well, so that when she had a long absence, she trusted Martha with her work.
Talk
Chris started the conversation by greeting Martha and asking how she was feeling. Martha replied that being in the hospital was not a pleasant business. Chris slowly figured out exactly what Martha was worried about. in different words expressing your thoughts and feelings. Soon it became clear to both of them that what worried Martha the most was how her children lived while she was in the hospital. And she expressed her concern very emotionally: “I am not sure that my husband can take care of children as well as I do. I know I shouldn't worry about it, but I can't help it. "
After these words, Chris tried to find out if Martha is worried because her husband does not take good care of the children, scolds them, does not know how to treat them. When Martha assured her that this was not the case, Chris responded: “I think the most frustrating part of your hospital stay is the constant worry that your children are not being cared for by your husband. You blame yourself for worrying because he really loves them and can take care of them. I'm right?". Martha agreed with Chris's conclusion.
Chris then said, "I wonder if you believe that a true Christian shouldn't feel anxious?" Martha replied, “Yes, I believe that. My mother often repeated the words of Scripture, "Don't worry," and I tried to never forget that worry is a bad feeling. "
Putting Martha's point in other words, Chris asked her what she was specifically concerned about about the kids. Martha clarified: “I constantly think that something terrible can happen to them, but I will not be there”. So Chris understood why Martha felt guilty and worried.
Then they changed the subject. Chris, speaking of Martha's anxiety and embarrassment, reminded her of how worried she herself was when, when she left, she left her business to Martha. She asked if Martha remembered the advice she gave Chris one day. After a moment's silence, Martha smiled and answered: "I said that you need to learn to trust us and in prayer leave this work to God."
Martha smiled even wider as she added, "It's not fair to remind me of what I said." After that, they both laughed. Laughter helped Martha to suppress her feelings of guilt and anxiety. She thought that there was no need to worry so much about the children anymore.
The conversation changed again when Martha asked Chris, “What helped you trust me after I gave you this advice? How did you bring people to God? " Chris replied, “I decided to pray for you and for the whole church every morning for about fifteen minutes. Having prayed like this for a week, I calmed down. " Martha thought about Chris's answer for a while and decided to pray for her children and her husband every time she woke up, in the morning or daytime... At Chris's suggestion, she decided to record these prayers so that they could be discussed the next time Chris came.
Then Chris and Martha discussed the plan again; when all the details were thought out, Chris no longer doubted that Martha would follow this plan. They prayed together, entrusting Martha's feelings of anxiety and guilt to God and remembering what God says about these feelings in Scripture, remembering God's greatness and forgiveness. Then Chris said goodbye to Martha and left.
Reflections
Martha felt much better after Chris' visit; Chris took her feelings seriously and helped her with good advice. She was especially pleased with Chris's reminder that when she left the meeting in the church for a while, she felt the same feelings as Martha, when she was separated from her children. Martha understood that anxiety is inherent in everyone, including Christians. The fact that Chris prayed for her feelings of anxiety and guilt seemed strange to Martha at first, but then she felt relief expressing these feelings before God. It was also important that they discussed how Martha could overcome her anxiety.
Chris also felt good when she left the room. She always liked helping people in difficult moments... She was especially happy to help Martha, who helped her out more than once. In addition, Chris noted, How much better a conversation like this goes when strictly adhering to the three-step model.
DEFINITIONS
In this case, Chris is an example of an experienced pastor and Jude is an example of an inexperienced pastor. The difference is that Chris used her helping ability, her theological approach, and her appeal to Christian sources, while Jude did not. To continue talking about this difference, it is necessary to define the individual terms.
I apply the term pastor to both lay people (Jude) and ordained ministers of the church (Chris) who use their free time in order to convey the Good News to them by communicating with people. Thus, this term refers to: Christian parents who talk to their children in order to convey God's love to them through this communication; to worldly people who visit the sick, lead people, work in some organizations, teach in classrooms; seminary students who are taking a course in pastoral care and mentoring; to ordained ministers of the church who help people in such difficult moments of life as illness or grief, or in such joyful moments as preparing for a wedding or baptism.
Parishioner
While the term “pastor” refers to both lay people and ordained ministers, the term “parishioner” refers to everyone the pastor cares about. I prefer to use the term "parishioner" when it comes about a mentor, church visitor, helper or patient, because it is he who will be used when discussing the pastor's care for people; other terms have broader meanings and go beyond pastoral ministry. Thus, depending on a certain type of ministry, a parishioner can be a teenager, a businessman, a classmate, or someone's daughter. This book focuses on individual help from a pastor, helping one person, but the same kind of help can be given to married couples, families, and all sorts of small groups.
Communicate
To “communicate” means to receive information or to transmit it to others. Communication between pastor and parishioner occurs on at least four levels simultaneously: verbal, non-verbal, dynamic and symbolic. Verbal communication is the words we speak. Facial expression, posture, tone are all defining aspects of not verbal communication... Dynamic communication speaks of interaction between people. Symbolic communication refers to everything that is conveyed appearance, ritual actions, roles, environment. In conversations with people who need help, non-verbal, dynamic and symbolic communication affects more than verbal communication. Therefore, effective pastoral ministry, the goal of which is to convey the good news to people, must include non-verbal, dynamic and symbolic communication.
Good news
Good news- this is the good news that God brings us. Most fully this message reaches people through the birth, life, teaching, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Pastors as members of the body of Christ, church members are witnesses to His death and resurrection. As Christ does His redemptive work, pastors can talk about the forgiveness that sinners receive, the hope that the desperate receive, the reconciliation that people who turn away from God receive. To convey the Good News to people is the main work of a pastor in his concern for people.
Chris delivered the Good News to Martha in words and deeds. As a member of the church and God's family, she expressed the presence of God and His love by listening carefully to Martha (non-verbal and dynamic communication) and sharing her family issues with her, using her symbolic role in relation to Martha's feelings. In prayer at the end of the conversation, she spoke about the Good News (verbal communication); these words had a particularly strong effect on Martha, since a good interaction had developed between her and Chris.
Unlike Chris, Jude was unable to convey the good news to Martha. He listened to Martha inattentively and prematurely expressed participation (dynamic communication), which indicated an absence rather than presence, immersion in his thoughts than caring for another person. Thus, his attempt at verbal communication to cheer Martha was ultimately taken as bad news. Even if he tried to pray with Martha at the end of the conversation, the words of the prayer would lose their power and meaning, since the interaction between Jude and Martha was very weak.
“Help” is how the pastor listens, responds, responds to requests from people, or acts on his own to make non-verbal, verbal and dynamic communication as effective as possible. The specific assistance recommendations presented in this book are based on the writings of Robert Kirkhuff (1969, 1979, 1983) and Gerald Egan (1975, 1982). I wrote about help to show and emphasize its importance in evangelism, accompanying my discussion. specific example pastoral ministry, complemented by a theological approach and the use of Christian sources.
The importance of help is illustrated by the example of Jude and Martha, who complained about how sad it was to be in the hospital, after which their conversation began to go to a standstill. This was due to Jude's inability to repeat the phrase Martha said in response. Chris, unlike him, possessed such a skill, and Martha felt that she and her feelings were understood and shared.
Theological assessment
“Theological assessment” is the ability to assess the problems of the congregation from a theological point of view. One of the main reasons parishioners turn to pastors is to look at their problems from this perspective (Pruyser, 1976). Parishioners need to be helped to understand that God is involved in their search for a way out. Pastors who offer people solutions to their problems need a theological perspective, because theological knowledge will help them choose a metaphor, Scripture, prayer, or any other Christian source. the best way suitable for a given situation.
The main message of this book is that a particular situation is only one aspect of a member's concern; Anxiety is often difficult to overcome because of the member's attitude toward the problem. This is a very important position, because it is often impossible to change the situation itself, but it is quite possible to change the attitude towards it. When the situation can be changed, it is easier for a person to make some useful adjustments, if, of course, his beliefs are constructive. In Martha's case, the situation itself (her husband's concern for the children) was not her true concern. The reason was the belief that if something happened to them when she was not around, then a catastrophe would happen. And although Martha could not change anything, being in the hospital, away from the children, she could learn to trust God.
Given the importance of a person's perspective in solving problems related to their feelings or behavior, we can say that the task of the theological approach is to determine which beliefs cause difficulties for the parishioner. For example, Chris found that Martha's guilt was driven by her belief that a true Christian shouldn't worry about anything. Chris then used a theological understanding of guilt and was able to dissuade Martha from the validity of such a feeling.
Under Christian sources implied traditional methods, with the help of which you can teach a person to look at the world in the light of the Good News and discard harmful beliefs. In situations where Christians seek to convey the Good News to others, seven categories of Christian sources generally operate:
The pastor himself is a representative of God and the church and is responsible for conveying the Good News to people with words and deeds.
Scripture contains the main provisions of the Good News, with which all the rest are measured.
Christian tradition gives instructive examples from people's lives, showing how the Good News is perceived by people of different ages, cultures, how people perceive it in different situations.
Comparative theology and ethics show the Good News in the light of our time and our culture.
Covenant communities- These are groups of two or more Christians who help people in accordance with the teachings of the Good News.
Prayer includes such varieties of spiritual disciplines, methods, Christian materials and art (poetry, music, theater, art) that help people feel the presence and love of God.
Rituals- these are rituals, for example - baptism, baptism, marriage, funeral, which, in combination with other sources, turn into a diverse testimony of the Good News.
Each of these sources can be effective in combating beliefs that are causing people problems and in fostering Christian beliefs in a person. However, in every conversation a pastor has with others, the pastor himself is the primary source. Chris used her own experience as an addition to this source. She also applied prayer: she used it at the end of the conversation, openly entrusting Martha's problems to God's hands, and invited Martha to pray in such a way that this prayer would help her overcome her anxiety.
METANOIA MODEL
Help, theological appreciation, and Christian sources are combined into a form of pastor-to-people conversation that I call the Metanoia Model. Literally metanoia translated from Greek means "to change views." This term shows that the main task the metanoia model is to help the parishioner change his world outlook, so that later he can either survive a difficult situation for himself, or make some changes to it.
In the process of solving problems of this kind, three stages can be distinguished: 1) research, 2) understanding, and 3) action. These three stages are based on universal process helping to solve human problems - the process of studying the situation, understanding what can be done in a given situation, and actions with the aim of changing a person's view, a situation, or both a person's view and the situation together. During the study (stage 1), the member tries to figure out what their problem is by talking about their difficulties. The pastor uses his ability to be present in the conversation (attention, response, appreciation) to help the member identify the core feelings and beliefs that are at the root of his problems. In the process of understanding (stage 2), the parishioner begins to realize that his own beliefs have caused difficulties and that the gospel can solve them. The pastor uses his skill in persuasion to fight back the persuasion causing difficulties and share the Good News. In the process of action (stage 3), the parishioner decides to change his beliefs and behavior. The pastor uses his leadership ability to help the member do it most effectively. Chart 1 gives a general picture of the relationship between the actions of a pastor helping a member and the stages the member goes through.
SCHEME 1Having considered short review these three stages, it is already easier to understand how the following conversation between Chris and Martha took place, which illustrates the skills of the pastor and the stages that the parishioner goes through.
Stage 1: Research
Parishioner. As Martha spoke with Chris about her feelings, thoughts, and life experiences, she began to better understand the source and nature of her anxiety. Martha began to realize how much she worried about her children and how intense her guilt over her worry was. She didn't realize it all until Chris, listening intently, pulled it all out of her. She also realized what beliefs were at the root of her feelings.
Pastor. While echoing Martha's words, Chris helped her tell her story until they realized together how distressing it was for Martha. Thus, Chris made sure that she understood Martha's problem in the same way as Martha herself. She began to realize that Martha was worried about the children and felt guilty about this concern. Chris tried to find out if this was really the case. Then she put forward her own guess about Martha's feelings and thoughts. Observing the expression on Martha's face and listening to the intonation of her voice, Chris was convinced of the correctness of her assumption. After Martha agreed with her conclusion, Chris began to guess which beliefs caused Martha to feel guilty, and Martha agreed with her assumptions. Chris then questioned the validity of Martha's beliefs that caused this concern. She completed the first stage by expressing her assessment of the situation, with which Martha agreed.
Stage 2: Understanding
Parishioner. After Martha told her story and agreed with Chris's conclusion, she prepared to listen to her opinion (the first turning point in the conversation). Martha was afraid that she would have to listen to the same admonition - "Don't worry, it's okay ..." - which Jude had already told her. When Chris said that in a similar situation and she experienced a similar feeling of anxiety, Martha felt better, because she realized that she was not alone in her anxiety. When Chris asked Martha to remember her own advice, Martha remembered it, which gave her confidence in her strength and in prayer, which made her even easier. Martha laughed and "rebuked" Chris for cheating, showing that she deeply took the word of encouragement and hope. Now she was ready to act further in solving her problems.
Pastor. After Martha agreed with her findings, Chris decided that Martha's first feeling was anxiety and her second was guilt. Chris knew that Martha's anxiety was caused by her lack of confidence in God, and her guilt was related to this feeling and was unacceptable to God and her neighbor. Based on this theological assessment, Chris decided to fight Martha's feelings of guilt by talking about how she too had experienced a similar feeling, and with her anxiety, recalling her own advice, that is, she used two effective means to change the views of the other person. Chris used her own experience as a Christian source.
Stage 3: Action
Parishioner. Feeling less guilt about her anxiety and more hope that the anxiety could be overcome (the second turning point in the conversation), Martha set about developing a plan of action. Her goal was to control her anxiety by trusting God in matters concerning her husband and children. After listening to Chris's suggestions, Martha decided to pray for her family every time she slept. She also agreed with Chris's advice that keeping records of prayers and God's answers to them constantly would give her the strength to pursue this plan continuously. And the prayer at the end of the conversation strengthened Martha's faith in everything they talked about, and prompted her to take decisive action in resolving her problems.
Pastor. When they laughed together, Chris already knew that Martha was ready to work out some kind of action plan for herself; from Martha's joyful laughter and beaming face, she realized that an enormous weight had fallen from Martha's shoulders. Because Chris knew that the best plans and goals could only be worked out by those who would implement them, she decided to find out what and how Martha intended to do. Asking Martha, Chris advised her how best to act, but in no case did she impose her ideas. After Martha decided to follow a certain plan, Chris's task was to help Martha flesh out the plan - to decide when, where, how and with whom to carry it out. Chris then had to help Martha gain the support that would help her fulfill this plan. Chris knew that in such cases it was useful to keep a record of the implementation of the plan, to tell someone about how such a plan is being implemented - this is a great support, and Martha was quite capable at that moment. Chris saw her last task as helping Martha go through the entire plan point by point. After that, Chris ended the conversation by praying with Martha a prayer that helped her to feel the Good News of God's presence and God's authority.
NOT JUST A METHOD
The purpose of the book is to help both lay people and ordained ministers become experienced pastors who use helping skills, theological judgment and Christian sources to convey the good news to the congregation. These skills are combined into a three-step metanoia model that you can use to master these skills and learn how to properly talk to people. This problem-solving model is designed for individual conversations and brief coaching (a series of discussions of up to six weeks on a particular problem or situation) that are typical of pastors' interactions with others.
I do not mean to say that anyone who has mastered a few special techniques is able to convey the Good News to people. Methods alone do nothing. A pastor must clearly understand what the Good News is and have a passionate desire to convey it to people. Nevertheless, the application of this method can help those who wish to work in this area to better understand the Good News and convey it more clearly to people. Since all baptized people are called by word and personal example to proclaim the Good News of the Lord Jesus, they are all given the immense honor and responsibility of becoming experienced pastors. The chapters that follow show how they can do this.
Although this book focuses on the ability of the pastor, the real mentor is the Holy Spirit (John 14:26; 16: 12-13), who speaks directly to the congregation. The pastor masters the art of helping, so he does not hinder the Holy Spirit with inappropriate responses, but rather helps the parishioners to hear and follow the teachings of the Holy Spirit. Likewise, theological appreciation is important to see what the Holy Spirit is doing, and Christian sources strengthen the congregation in the Holy Spirit. Therefore, without denying that the pastor must master certain skills, let us note that in the conversation of the pastor with the people, one must listen to the Holy Spirit, which speaks in each participant in such a conversation, teaching both the pastor and the parishioner. An experienced pastor is not an expert who passes on his knowledge to those who do not have it; he is a learner who learns more about the Good News by listening to and responding to people.
Some of the answers were obvious. Some surprised me, ”said Tom Reiner, columnist for the Christian Post. -
I have ranked them by repetition rate, which does not necessarily correspond to the degree of importance. After each, I put a typical pastor quote.
1. I would like someone to teach me basic leadership skills. “I was well prepared in theology and Bible interpretation, but seminary did not prepare me for real work with real people... It would be great if someone was there to help me with this before my first church. ”
2. I would need to know a lot more about personal financial matters... “No one ever told me about minister's housing, social security, car payments, and the difference between spending and wages... I burned out in my first church. "
3. I would like some advice on how to behave towards strong groups and people in the church. “I did everything wrong in my first two churches. They just kicked me out of the first, and survived from the second. Someone ended up boldly pointing out how I messed things up almost from the very beginning of my time in church. I am so grateful that for the 9th year I have been happily pastoring in my 3rd church. "
4. Do not neglect your time of prayer and stay in the Word. “I really don't even remember anyone pointing me in this direction. The more busy I was in church, the more I neglected my main calling. It was an elusive process, I would like to know about it in advance. "
5. I would like someone to tell me that I need some business training. “I felt inadequate and embarrassed at the first financial meetings. And it really was a shock when we considered the construction program, for the implementation of which it was necessary to raise funds and go into debt. I had no idea what the bankers were saying. "
6. Someone should have told me that there are unfriendly people in the church. “I was preparing how to deal with criticism. This is the reality of any leadership position. But I never expected some church members to be so mean and cruel. One church member wrote something really violent on my Facebook wall. My wife and children cried as they read this. "
7. Show me how to help my children grow up as normal children. “I'm really worried about the syndrome glass house in relation to the wife and children. I am especially worried that my children will see so much negativity that they will grow up hating the church. I've seen it too often. "
8. I would like to be told to continue caring for my wife. “I diligently courted my wife until I became a pastor. Then I became so busy helping others with their needs that I began to neglect her. I almost lost my marriage. She felt lonely when I helped everyone except her. "
9. Someone needed to tell me that ubiquity is expected of me. “I had no idea that people would expect me to attend so many meetings, church events, sports and civic work. It is impossible to please everything that is expected of you, so I felt frustrated or angry on the part of some people. "
10. I really needed help with ministry to dying people. “Some terminally ill people have such strong faith that they serve me. But many of them are scared and have questions that I did not expect. I was completely unprepared for pastoral care when I first became a pastor. "
Some of the answers were obvious. Some surprised me, ”said Tom Reiner, columnist for the Christian Post.
I have ranked them by repetition rate, which does not necessarily correspond to the degree of importance. After each, I put a typical pastor quote.
1. I would like someone to teach me basic leadership skills.
“I was well trained in theology and Bible interpretation, but seminary did not prepare me for real work with real people. It would be great if someone was there to help me with this before my first church. ”
2. I would need to know a lot more about personal financial matters.
“No one ever told me about minister's housing, social security, car payments, and the difference between expenses and wages. I burned out in my first church. "
3. I would like some advice on how to behave towards strong groups and people in the church.
“I did everything wrong in my first two churches. They just kicked me out of the first, and survived from the second. Someone ended up boldly pointing out how I messed things up almost from the very beginning of my time in church. I am so grateful that for the 9th year I have been happily pastoring in my 3rd church. "
4. Do not neglect your time of prayer and stay in the Word.
“I really don't even remember anyone pointing me in this direction. The more busy I was in church, the more I neglected my main calling. It was an elusive process, I would like to know about it in advance. "
5. I would like someone to tell me that I need some business training.
“I felt inadequate and embarrassed at the first financial meetings. And it really was a shock when we considered the construction program, for the implementation of which it was necessary to raise funds and go into debt. I had no idea what the bankers were saying. "
6. Someone should have told me that there are unfriendly people in the church.
“I was preparing how to deal with criticism. This is the reality of any leadership position. But I never expected some church members to be so mean and cruel. One church member wrote something really violent on my Facebook wall. My wife and children cried as they read this. "
7. Show me how to help my children grow up as normal children.
“I am really worried about the glass house syndrome with my wife and children. I am especially worried that my children will see so much negativity that they will grow up hating the church. I've seen it too often. "
8. I would like to be told to continue caring for my wife.
“I diligently courted my wife until I became a pastor. Then I became so busy helping others with their needs that I began to neglect her. I almost lost my marriage. She felt lonely when I helped everyone except her. "
9. Someone needed to tell me that ubiquity is expected of me.
“I had no idea that people would expect me to attend so many meetings, church events, sports and civic work. It is impossible to please everything that is expected of you, so I felt frustrated or angry on the part of some people. "
10. I really needed help with ministry to dying people.
“Some terminally ill people have such strong faith that they serve me. But many of them are scared and have questions that I did not expect. I was completely unprepared for pastoral care when I first became a pastor. "
, pastor, columnist for The Christian Post
