Hello, dear readers. Today I want to start a conversation with you about how the body is involved in interpersonal communication. It's no secret that bodily postures, gestures, movements and even muscle tone play an important “signaling” role both for the person himself and for the people who communicate with him.

Over the past 10-15 years, a large amount of literature containing interpretations of the elements of bodily language has been translated into Russian. Some of them, in my opinion, seriously simplify the meaning of body signals.

It is traditional to divide poses into “Open” and “Closed”.

Today I want to talk about the so-called “Closed Postures”. In the literature (Alan Pease and others), these postures are deciphered as defensive reactions (reluctance to communicate).

Look what we find in collection "Psychological aspects of personnel selection and testing", compiled by N.A. Litvintseva:

The usual "leg to leg" pose. The right leg rests on the left. The man is nervous, withdrawn, trying to protect his vulnerability. Negative towards the current event.

Fully closed pose: arms crossed on the chest and legs crossed. Refusal to continue the conversation, extremely negative attitude towards the interlocutor or the situation.

Uncertain pose: "leg to leg", hands in a lock support the knee. Tries to hide self-doubt.

Entwined feet- enhanced defensive posture. Characteristic for modest and shy women.

Crossed Ankles indicate a desire to hide fear, nervousness, and negative emotions. When an interviewee crosses his ankles, in his mind he is biting his lips. This is how they usually sit during interrogation, trying to control their words and emotions.

Let's look at what this direct interpretation of “closed poses” leads to. It seems to me that such a categorical assessment can lead to erroneous conclusions, both for the person using these poses and for the person interpreting them.

For a person in a “closed” pose:

When in a situation of stress, any person relies on his own strategies of protective behavior. And this is a normal, healthy and natural reaction. Suffering from cold, pain, weakness, a person will take the appropriate poses and make the necessary movements in order to improve his well-being.

A situation of new communication, an interview, an exam, negotiations, family or any other conflict can also cause stress for a person, thereby turning him on automatic system bodily self-preservation.

The danger of a direct interpretation of “closed” poses for a person is that he may begin to consciously abandon his own wise strategies of bodily protection. A man or woman often wants to make a favorable impression in communication, adopting for this purpose alien ideals of sociability.

Try observing your body postures in stressful situations and you will find at least one frequently used posture, which is commonly called “closed.” Don't try to give it up, but explore the support it gives you in a stressful situation. If you have the feeling that your posture is too visible for the interlocutor, try to come up with a more inconspicuous analogue.

But before you follow public opinion regarding any of your poses, try to ask yourself: “What is more important to me in this case - maintaining my mental and physical comfort or adapting to my interlocutor?”

I can give my personal example on this topic:

Several years ago, the medical institution where I worked sent me for advanced training. The lecture took place in a cold room, the lecturer was very boring and was often distracted from the essence of the matter by unimportant, and even, moreover, vulgar stories. I was unhappy - I was cold, uninterested, and I also felt irritated that I had to listen to this kind of “revelations”. I sat in a pose with my arms crossed in the solar plexus area. Quite unexpectedly, the lecturer turned to me with the following words: “You are sitting in a closed position! This is disrespectful to me. Open your hands and listen to what I'm saying! I refused this offer. His demand seemed strange and outrageous to me. If he, as a lecturer, cannot interest me, then why on earth should I open up?

And at this point I move on to the second part of this article, addressed to those who interpret the “closed poses” of their interlocutors and listeners.

When assessing a person’s posture as “unwilling to communicate,” ask yourself the following questions:

Do you think this person is in stressful situation, communicating with you? Does he (she) have the right to calm himself down a little, balancing his anxiety?

What did you do in this communication to make the person feel trust and safety?

How do you behave in a stressful communication situation, how does your body react when you feel insecure, angry or anxious?

Despite the fact that you can be a very pleasant conversationalist, a caring and responsive person. The person you communicate with may have their own personal reasons and characteristics. nervous system to protect yourself with “closed” poses - this is the first thing. Secondly, there are a lot of bodily symptoms in which a person can cross his arms, legs, press his head into his shoulders, etc. Don't forget about it!

The effectiveness of business interaction is determined not only by how the interlocutor’s words are understood, but also by the ability to correctly interpret visual information, that is, the partner’s gaze, his facial expressions and gestures, body movements, posture, distance and angle of communication, as well as the timbre and timbre of speech. It is “reading” the nonverbal, expressive repertoire of the interlocutor that contributes to the achievement of mutual understanding. Tracking such information during any business conversation can arm you with information about the moral and personal potential of your partner, about his inner world, mood, feelings and experiences, intentions and expectations, degree of determination or lack thereof.

The inner world of a person and the language of his body and gestures are interconnected. The reflex nature of most human reactions does not allow him to fully control his own gestures, posture and facial expressions. People rarely think about their movements during a conversation, therefore, in a situation where their thoughts and words do not coincide, their eyes and gestures give it away, as they are places of information leakage.

With the help of facial expressions, postures and gestures, a person’s spiritual energy, movements, symptoms are expressed (for example, paleness or redness skin, finger tremor). To understand this language, it is necessary to study various means of expression and be able to interpret them correctly and adequately.

As is known, the study of an interlocutor (communication partner) by his gestures, facial expressions and postures belongs to the field kinesics. Let's look at just a few of these kinesic components.

Just as verbal languages ​​differ from each other depending on the type of culture, so the nonverbal language of one nation differs from the nonverbal language of another nation. It should be noted that the most common gesture is touch, or tactile contact. Touch, or tactile contact, is the first and most important thing in a person’s life.

Most cultures place many restrictions on touching. Every society has ideas about how, when, who, and who can be touched. If we collect a list of touches, we will see that they are carried out differently in different cultural layers.

1.1. Facial expressions

Facial expressions - the movement of facial muscles that reflect the internal emotional state - can provide true information about what a person is experiencing. Facial expressions carry more than 70% of the information, i.e. a person's eyes, gaze, face can say more than spoken words, so it has been observed that a person tries to hide his information (or lies) if his eyes meet the eyes of his partner for less than 1/3 of the conversation time.

Forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, chin - these parts of the face express basic human emotions: suffering, anger, joy, surprise, fear, disgust, happiness, interest, sadness, etc. Moreover, positive emotions are most easily recognized: joy, love, surprise; Negative emotions – sadness, anger, disgust – are more difficult for a person to perceive. It is important to note that the main cognitive load in the situation of recognizing a person’s true feelings is borne by eyebrows and lips.

The formation of facial expression of emotions is influenced by three factors: innate species-typical facial patterns corresponding to certain emotional states; acquired, learned, socialized ways of expressing feelings that are subject to voluntary control; individual expressive characteristics that give species and social forms facial expression - specific features characteristic only of a given individual.

Pantomime– expression of emotions in the voice. Studies of gestures and voice reveal the influence of similar factors. In a state of emotional arousal, the strength of the voice usually increases, and its pitch and timbre also change significantly. Individual intonation fluctuations in pitch can span an entire octave.

The expression of emotions by voice, as well as facial expression, has both innate species-typical components and acquired - socially conditioned and formed in the process of individual development components. Innate mechanisms cause such manifestations as changes in the strength of the voice (with changes in emotional arousal) or trembling of the voice (under the influence of excitement). With increasing emotional arousal, the number of functional units actualized for action increases, which influences the increased activation of the muscles involved in vocal reactions.

As for the movements of the whole body - pantomimics, here it was possible to identify one distinct complex reaction that occurs in response to a strong sudden stimulus, primarily sound. This is the so-called startle pattern. Some authors believe that this reaction precedes the actual emotional reactions.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are learned and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting with the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat with the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes, turning away from him.

1.2. Gestures and postures

In the practice of business interaction, there are several basic gestures that reflect internal state person. Hand and body movements convey a lot of information about a person.

Firstly, they reveal the state of the body and immediate emotional reactions. This allows us to judge a person’s temperament (whether his reactions are strong or weak, fast or slow, inert or mobile).

Secondly. Postures and body movements express many character traits of a person, the degree of his self-confidence, tightness or looseness, caution or impetuosity.

A person’s social status is also reflected in posture and movements. Expressions such as “walk with your head held high,” “straighten your shoulders,” or, conversely, “stand half-bent,” are not only a description of the posture, but also express a certain psychological state of a person.

Thirdly, posture and gestures reveal the cultural norms a person has internalized.

For example, a well-mannered man will never talk while sitting next to a standing woman, no matter how he evaluates her personal merits.

Fourthly, purely conventional symbolic meanings are attributed to gestures and posture. Thus, they are able to convey accurate information.

Gestures openness
indicate sincerity and a desire to speak frankly. This group of signs includes gestures " open hands" and "unbuttoning a jacket."

Open hands gesture consists of the interlocutor extending his hands forward towards you, palms up. This gesture is especially often observed in children. When children are proud of their achievements, they openly show their hands. When children feel guilty, they hide their hands either behind their backs or in their pockets. This gesture demonstrates the desire to go to a meeting and establish contact.

Gesture "unbuttoning the jacket" is also a sign of openness. People who are open and friendly towards us often unbutton and even take off their jacket in your presence. Experience shows that agreement is achieved more often between interlocutors in unbuttoned jackets than between those who remained in buttoned jackets. Anyone who changes his decision in a favorable direction usually unclenches his hands and automatically unbuttons his jacket.

When it becomes clear that an agreement or a positive decision regarding the issue under discussion is possible, as well as in the case when a positive impression of working together is created, those sitting unbutton their jackets, straighten their legs and move to the edge of the chair, closer to the table that separates them from those sitting Opposite them are interlocutors (most often negotiation partners).

Gestures of suspicion and secrecy indicate distrust of you, doubt that you are right. About the desire to hide something and hide something from you. In these cases, the interlocutor mechanically rubs his forehead, temples, chin, and tries to cover his face with his hands. But most often he tries not to look at you, looking away to the side. Another indicator of secrecy is inconsistency of gestures. If a person who is hostile or defensive towards you smiles, this means that he is deliberately trying to hide his insincerity behind an artificial smile.

Gestures and postures of defense
are a sign that the interlocutor feels danger or threat. The most common gesture of this group of signs is arms crossed over the chest. The hands here can occupy three characteristic positions.

Simply crossing your arms is a universal gesture., indicating the defensive or negative state of the interlocutor. In this case, you should reconsider what you are doing or saying, because the interlocutor will begin to move away from the discussion. It is also necessary to take into account the fact that this gesture affects the behavior of other people. If in a group of four or more people you cross your arms in a defensive posture, you can soon expect other group members to follow suit. True, this gesture may simply mean calm and confidence, but this happens when the atmosphere of the conversation is not of a conflictual nature.

If, in addition to crossing his arms on his chest, the interlocutor also clenches his fingers into a fist, then this indicates his hostility or offensive position. In this case, you should slow down your speech and movements, as if inviting your interlocutor to follow your example. If this does not help, then you should try to change the topic of conversation.

A gesture where the hands of crossed arms clasp the shoulders(sometimes the hands dig into the shoulders or biceps so tightly that the fingers turn white) means restraining the negative reaction of the interlocutor to your position on the issue under discussion. This technique is used when interlocutors argue, trying at all costs to convince each other of the correctness of their position, and is often accompanied by a cold, slightly narrowed gaze and an artificial smile. This facial expression means that your interlocutor is at the limit, and if prompt measures are not taken to reduce tension, a breakdown may occur.

A gesture where the arms are crossed on the chest, but with the thumbs extended vertically. k, is quite popular among business people. It conveys a double signal: the first is about a negative attitude (crossed arms), the second is about a feeling of superiority expressed by the thumbs. The interlocutor who uses this gesture usually plays with one or both fingers, and when standing, swaying on his heels is typical. Gesture using thumb also expresses ridicule or disrespect towards a person at whom the thumb is pointed as if over the shoulder.

Gestures of reflection and evaluation reflect a state of thoughtfulness and the desire to find a solution to a problem. A thoughtful (reflective) facial expression is accompanied by a “hand on cheek” gesture. This gesture indicates that your interlocutor is interested in something. It remains to be seen what prompted him to focus on the problem.

Gesture "pinching the bridge of the nose" which is usually combined with closed eyes, indicates deep concentration and intense thinking. When the interlocutor is at the decision-making stage, he scratches his chin. This gesture is usually accompanied by squinting of the eyes - the interlocutor seems to be looking at something in the distance, as if trying to find an answer to his question there.

When the interlocutor raises his hand to his face, resting his chin on his palm, and extending his index finger along his cheek (the other fingers are below his mouth), this is eloquent evidence that he critically perceives your arguments.

Gestures of doubt and uncertainty most often associated with scratching with the index finger right hand under the earlobe or the side of the neck (usually five scratching movements are made).

Touching your nose or lightly rubbing it is also a sign of doubt.

Gestures and postures indicating unwillingness to listen and desire end the conversation quite eloquently. If during a conversation your interlocutor lowers his eyelids, then this is a signal that you have become uninteresting to him or are simply tired, or he feels superior to you. If you notice a similar look in your interlocutor, then consider the following: something needs to change if you are interested in successfully completing the conversation.

Ear scratching gesture indicates the desire of the interlocutor to isolate himself from the words he hears. Another gesture associated with touching the ear - pulling the earlobe - indicates that the interlocutor has heard enough and wants to speak out himself.

In the case when the interlocutor clearly wants to end the conversation quickly, he imperceptibly (and sometimes unconsciously) moves or turns towards the door, while his feet point towards the exit. The turn of the body and the position of the legs indicate that he really wants to leave. An indicator of such a desire is also a gesture when the interlocutor takes off his glasses and defiantly puts them aside. In this situation, you should interest your interlocutor in something or give him the opportunity to leave. If you continue the conversation in the same vein, you are unlikely to achieve the desired result.

Gestures indicating a desire to deliberately delay time usually associated with glasses. In order to delay time in order to think about the final decision, the interlocutor makes the following gestures: constantly takes off and puts on glasses, and also wipes the lenses. If you observe one of these gestures immediately after asking a person about his decision, then the best thing to do is to remain silent and wait. If a partner puts on glasses again, this means that he wants to “look at the facts” again.

Walking gesture serves as a sign that one should not rush. Many interlocutors resort to this gesture, trying to “play out time” to resolve complex problem or make a difficult decision. This is a very positive gesture. But you should not talk to someone who is pacing. This can disrupt his train of thought and prevent him from making a decision.

Gestures of confident people with a sense of superiority over others. These include the gesture of “placing your hands behind your back while grabbing your wrist.” The “hands behind your back” gesture should be distinguished from this gesture. He says that the person is upset and is trying to pull himself together. Interestingly, the more angry a person is, the higher his hand moves on his back. It was from this gesture that the expression “pull yourself together” came from. This is a bad gesture used to hide one's nervousness, and an observant negotiating partner will likely sense it.

A gesture of self-confident people with a sense of superiority over others is the “putting their hands behind their head” gesture. Many interlocutors get annoyed when someone demonstrates it in front of them.

Gestures of disagreement
can be called gestures of repression, since they appear as a result of restraining one’s opinion. Picking up non-existent lint from a suit is one such gesture. The person collecting lint usually sits with his back turned away from others and looks at the floor. This is the most popular gesture of disapproval. When your interlocutor constantly picks lint from his clothes, this is a sign that he does not like everything that is said here, even if in words he agrees with everything.

Gestures of readiness signal the desire to end a conversation or meeting and are expressed by moving the body forward, with both hands lying on the knees or holding the side edges of the chair. If any of these gestures appear during a conversation, then you should take the initiative and be the first to offer to end the conversation. This will allow you to maintain a psychological advantage and control the situation.

In addition to the previously discussed poses and gestures, there are others that no less eloquently convey one or another internal state of the interlocutors. Thus, by rubbing palms together, positive expectations are conveyed. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment and the desire of the interlocutor to hide his negative attitude towards what he heard.

Most nonverbal behavior is learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined.

Let's look at these aspects of body language.

Practice shows that when people want to show their feelings, they turn to gestures. This is why it is important for an astute person to acquire the ability to understand false pretense gestures. The peculiarity of these gestures is as follows: they exaggerate weak emotions (demonstration of increased movements of the arms and body); suppress strong emotions (by limiting such movements); these false movements begin. As a rule, from the limbs and end on the face. When communicating, the following types of gestures often arise:

assessment gestures - scratching the chin; extending the index finger along the cheek; getting up and walking around, etc.


gestures of confidence - connecting fingers into a pyramid dome; rocking on a chair;


gestures of nervousness and uncertainty - intertwined fingers; tingling palm; tapping the table with your fingers, touching the back of a chair before sitting on it, etc.


gestures of self-control - hands placed behind the back, one squeezing the other; the pose of a person sitting on a chair and clutching the armrest with his hands, etc.;


waiting gestures - rubbing palms; slowly wiping wet palms on a cloth;


denial gestures - folded arms on the chest; body tilted back; crossed arms; touching the tip of the nose, etc.;


positioning gestures - placing a hand on the chest; intermittent touching of the interlocutor, etc.;


dominance gestures - gestures associated with exposure thumbs for show, sharp strokes from top to bottom, etc.;


gestures of insincerity - “covering your mouth with your hand”; “touching the nose” as a more subtle form of covering the mouth, indicating either a lie or doubt about something; turning the body away from the interlocutor, “running gaze”, etc. The ability to understand popular gestures (gestures of ownership, courtship, smoking, mirror gestures, bowing gestures, etc.) will allow you to better understand people.


Gestures when communicating carry a lot of information; In sign language, as in speech, there are words and sentences. The rich “alphabet” of gestures can be divided into five groups:


Gestures - illustrators - are gestures of communication: pointers (“pointing finger”), pictographs, i.e. figurative paintings (“this size and configuration”); kinetographs - body movements; gestures – “bits” (gestures – “signals”); ideographs, i.e., peculiar hand movements connecting imaginary objects.


Gestures - regulators - are gestures that express the speaker’s attitude towards something. These include a smile, a nod, the direction of gaze, purposeful movements of the hands.


Emblem gestures are unique substitutes for words or phrases in communication. For example, clenched hands in the manner of a handshake at arm level mean in many cases “hello,” and raised above the head mean “goodbye.”


Adapter gestures are specific human habits associated with hand movements. This can be: a) scratching, twitching individual parts bodies; b) touching, spanking a partner; c) stroking, fingering individual objects at hand (pencil, button, etc.)


Gestures - affectors - gestures that express certain emotions through movements of the body and facial muscles. There are also microgestures: eye movements, reddening of the cheeks, increased number of blinks per minute, lip twitching, etc.


All over the world, basic communication gestures are the same. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they have an angry look.


Nodding your head almost everywhere in the world means “yes” or affirmation. It appears to be an innate gesture, as it is also used by deaf and blind people. Shaking the head to indicate denial or disagreement is also universal, and may be one of the gestures invented in childhood.


A collection of gestures - one of the most serious mistakes that beginners can make in the study of body language is the desire to isolate one gesture and consider it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things—dandruff, fleas, sweating, uncertainty, forgetfulness, or telling a lie—depending on what other gestures accompany the scratch, so for correct interpretation we must take into account the entire range of accompanying gestures.


Like any language, body language is made up of words, sentences and punctuation. Each gesture is like one word, and a word can have several different meanings. You can only fully understand the meaning of this word when you insert this word into a sentence along with other words. Gestures come in the form of “sentences” and accurately indicate the actual state, mood and attitude of a person. An observant person can read these nonverbal sentences and compare them with the speaker's verbal sentences.


Research proves that nonverbal cues carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are incongruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal ones.


The speed of some gestures and their obviousness to the eye depends on the age of the person. For example, if a 5-year-old child tells a lie to his parents, then immediately after that he will cover his mouth with one or his own hands. This "covering the mouth with one's hand" gesture will tell parents that the child is lying, but throughout his life a person uses this gesture; when he lies, usually only the speed of making this gesture changes.


2. PROXEMIC FEATURES OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION


Many books and articles have been written on the topic of how animals, birds and fish establish and protect their habitats, but only recently has it been discovered that humans also have their own protected zones and territories. If we study them and understand their meaning, we will not only enrich our understanding of our own behavior and the behavior of other people, but we will also be able to predict the reaction of another person in the process of direct face-to-face communication.


Space and time also act as a special sign system and carry a semantic load.


For example, placing partners facing each other promotes contact and symbolizes attention to the speaker. The advantage of certain spatial forms of organizing communication (both for two partners and for a large audience) has been experimentally proven.


This is due to the following: there is a lot of information about animals, birds and fish establishing their habitat and protecting it. But only recently it was discovered that humans also have their own protective zones and territories. If we study them and understand their meaning, we will not only enrich our understanding of our own behavior and the behavior of other people, but we will also be able to predict the reaction of another person in the process of direct communication.


American anthropologist Edward T. Hall was one of the pioneers in the field of studying human spatial needs, and in the early sixties he coined the term " proxemics" His research in this area led to new understanding of our relationships with other human beings.


Under the territory also refers to the space that a person considers his own, as if this space is a continuation of his physical body. Each person has his own personal territory, which includes the space surrounding his property, such as his house surrounded by a fence, his car in the yard, his own bedroom, his personal chair and, as Dr. Hall discovered, he also has a clearly defined air space around of your body.


The dimensions of a person’s personal spatial territory can be divided into 4 zones:


intimate zone – from 15 to 45 cm;


personal zone – from 46 to 120 cm;


social zone – from 120 to 360 cm;


public or public area – more than 360 cm.


Personal Territory. A person has his own air envelope surrounding his body, its size depends on the population density of people in his place of residence. Consequently, the size of the personal spatial zone is socially and nationally determined. While one nation, such as the Japanese, is accustomed to overcrowding, others prefer wide open spaces and like to keep their distance.


A person's social standing may also be significant in describing the distance a person maintains from other people, and this issue will be discussed below.


Zonal Spaces. The dimensions of the personal spatial territory of a person of an average social level are in principle the same, regardless of whether he lives in North America, England or Australia. It can be divided into 4 clear spatial zones.


1. Intimate area (from 15 to 46 cm) Of all the zones, this is the most important, since it is this zone that a person protects as if it were his property. Only those persons who are in close emotional contact with him are allowed to enter this area. These are children, parents, spouses, lovers, close friends and relatives. In this zone there is also a subzone with a radius of 15 cm, which can only be penetrated through physical contact. This super intimate zone.


2. Personal zone (from 46 cm to 1.2 meters) This is the distance that usually separates us when we are at cocktail parties, formal receptions, formal evenings and friendly parties.


3. Social zone (from 1.2 to 3.6 meters) This is the distance we keep from strangers, such as the plumber or carpenter who comes to do repairs on our house, the postman, the new employee at work, and people we don’t know very well.


4. Public area (more than 3.6 meters) When we address a large group of people, it is most convenient to stand at this distance from the audience.


The choice of distance depends on the relationship between people (as a rule, people stand closer to those with whom they sympathize) and on the individual characteristics of the person (for example, introverts do not tolerate too close a distance).


Proxemic behavior includes not only distance, but also the mutual orientation of people in space. Friends are nearby, participants in a business conversation are across the corner of the table, competitors are across the table.


The relationships between people unfold not only in space, but also in time. How a person manages other people's and his own time is an important social sign. Respect for another person is manifested in increased accuracy and punctuality of behavior. Making another wait means, wittingly or unwittingly, declaring your right to control the situation.


There are rules of interaction, and they need to be known and followed depending on what place the participants occupy at the negotiating table.


First, let's consider the placement of negotiators in a working office at a standard negotiation table with four positions of your interlocutor: corner location; business interaction position; competitive-defensive position; independent position.


The corner location is typical for people engaged in friendly, casual conversation (Fig. 1). This position promotes constant eye contact and provides room for gesticulation and the opportunity to observe the gestures of the interlocutor. The corner of the table serves as a partial barrier in case of danger or threat from the interlocutor. With this arrangement, there is no territorial division of the table.


Rice. 1. Corner position


Rice. 2. Business interaction position


Positioning partners opposite each other usually creates an atmosphere of competition (Figure 3). This arrangement of interlocutors helps ensure that each side adheres to its own point of view. The table between them becomes a kind of barrier. People occupy this position at the table in that case. If they are in a competitive relationship or when one of them reprimands the other. In addition, if the meeting takes place in an office, then this arrangement also indicates a relationship of subordination. It should be remembered that a competitive-defensive position makes it difficult to understand the point of view of the interlocutors and does not create a relaxed atmosphere. Greater mutual understanding can be achieved in the angular position and in the position of business interaction than in the competitive-defensive position. Conversation in this position should be short and specific.


Rice. 3. Competitive-defensive position


There are times when it is very difficult or inappropriate to take an angular position when presenting your material. Let's say you need to offer a sample, diagram, or book for consideration to the person sitting opposite you. First, place what you want to present on the center line of the table. If he leans forward to get a better look at your material, but does not move it to his side, then this means that your material is of little interest to him. If he moves the material to his side of the table, this means that he has shown interest in it. This makes it possible to ask permission to go to his side and take either a corner position or a position of business cooperation. However, if he pushes away what you brought him, then the deal will not take place and you need to end the conversation as quickly as possible. People who do not want to interact with each other at the table take an independent position.


Most often, this position is occupied by library visitors, relaxing on a park bench, or visitors to restaurants and cafes. This position indicates a lack of interest. It should be avoided when frank conversation or interested negotiations are required.


The creation of a psychological climate is significantly influenced not only by the location of the interlocutors at the table, but also by the shape of the tables themselves. Thus, a square table contributes to the creation of relations of rivalry between people of equal status. Square tables are good for holding a short business conversation or for emphasizing chain of command. Here the cooperative relationship is established more with the person who sits at the table next to you, and the person who sits to your right will be more attentive to you than the one who sits to your left. The maximum resistance will be provided by the person sitting directly opposite you. At a rectangular table at a meeting of people of the same social status, the dominant place is considered to be the one on which the person sitting facing the door is sitting. A round table creates an atmosphere of informality and ease, and it is best to hold conversations with people of the same social status.


Thus, a square (or rectangular) table, which is usually a work desk, is used for business conversations, negotiations, and briefings. A round table is most often used to create a relaxed, informal atmosphere and is good when you need to reach an agreement.


You should not only choose the right shape of the table, but also be able to seat your interlocutor at it in such a way as to create maximum psychological comfort.


BIBLIOGRAPHY


1. Borozdina G.V. Psychology of business communication. – M.: INFRA-M, 2003.
   

2. Vesnin V.R. Fundamentals of Management: Textbook. — M.: Institute of International Law and Economics. Ed. "Triad Ltd", 2004.
   NONVERBAL COMPONENTS OF COMMUNICATION. GESTURES, POSTURES, FAMILES Give a definition nonverbal communication. How does it differ from verbal? GENERAL REGULARITIES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS

   2014-06-10

One of the means of communication is non-verbal communication. These are various body movements (gestures, facial expressions, pantomime) and other means of external non-verbal transmission of a person’s emotional states that help people exchange information.

The establishment of a business contact by a manager often depends not only on what he says, but also on how he behaves. That's why great importance have signals that our body sends, and you need to know them.

Nonverbal communication includes: tone of voice, timbre, pitch, speed, intonation, appearance, clothing, posture, facial expression, smile or lack thereof, gaze, movements, gait, depth and speed of breathing, gestures during conversation, nodding and shaking head, direction of arms and legs, applause, touching during a conversation, handshakes and hugs, behavior. As well as actions: self-confidence during a conversation, absence of aggressiveness or its presence, maintaining the personal space of the interlocutor.

On the one hand, during communication, conversations, negotiations, it is necessary to be able to control one’s own movements, one’s own behavior and facial expressions, on the other hand, to be able to read information from the client’s non-verbal means of communication. Therefore, the language of nonverbal communication must be studied by everyone who is interested in positive and effective negotiations.

Tell me, in what form is a reprimand perceived more easily - written or oral? Of course, in writing, because in oral form a reprimand is also accompanied by a frown, menacing eyebrows, a stern figure, intonation, and voice. All this enhances Negative influence on a person and suppresses him.

In what form would you like to receive gratitude - written or oral? Verbally, since it is accompanied by a smile, a kind look, a handshake, intonation, etc. All this enhances the positive impact on a person, on his well-being, mood, and makes him want to work or do something even better than before.

Different people respond differently to nonverbal cues. Some are sensitive to them, others either know nothing about this area of ​​communication or have no experience in recording and deciphering them. Women are believed to be more capable of perceiving and intuitively understanding non-verbal means than men. And as mentioned earlier, 70% of our target audience are women...

Below is a list nonverbal communications, knowledge and understanding of which will allow you to successfully establish contact with a client, negotiate and achieve effective sales.

Pose and its details.

Significant information about a person’s internal mood is provided by the static position of his body. Postures are static and dynamic elements performed by the torso, head and limbs.

All poses are divided into three groups:

ü Joining or leaving a conversation. If the client is ready to communicate, then he smiles slightly, his face and body are turned towards the interlocutor, and his body is slightly tilted forward. When leaving a conversation or disagreeing, hands are often clasped, crossed on the chest, or crossed legs in a sitting position. Often, they lean back backwards, i.e. “leave” the interlocutor by all acceptable means.

ü Authority or subordination. Authority in communication is manifested by appropriate behavior. One interlocutor can hang/stand over the other. Subordination is manifested by an uncertain posture - stooping, timid gaze and directed from bottom to top. It is important to control your posture, always communicating with the client “as an equal.”

ü Harmony or opposition. In harmony, the postures of communication partners are always similar. Both partners are free and open, periodically repeating each other’s gestures. Confrontation is expressed by sticking your feet forward, clenching your fists, pushing one shoulder forward, or placing your hands at your sides.

Poses are also divided into open and closed:

1) Open pose. A person in an open posture behaves at ease and is easy to communicate with. He is moderately relaxed and there is no excessive tension in him. An open pose can be recognized by turning the torso and head towards the interlocutor, open palms, free position of the legs (not crossed, feet with full support), muscles relaxed, gaze directed at the interlocutor’s face.

2) Closed poses. They are formed as a defensive reaction as a reluctance to continue communication, disagreement with the interlocutor’s statement. Closed poses can be different. For example, a person can cross his arms behind his head and thus express his superiority. Crossing your arms over your chest or legs (crossing your legs, at the ankles) shows a defensive reaction, a desire to stop communicating.

Possible connections between body positions and a person’s mental state are as follows:

· hands clasped behind the back, head raised high, chin pointed out - a feeling of self-confidence and superiority over others;

· body leaned forward, hands on hips – self-confidence and readiness for active action, aggressiveness, nervousness during conversation, desire to defend one’s position to the end;

· standing, leaning your hands on a table or chair - a feeling of incomplete contact with your interlocutor;

· hands with elbows spread behind the head - awareness of superiority over others;

· putting your thumbs in your belt or in pocket slots is a sign of aggressiveness and demonstrated self-confidence;

· sticking your thumbs out of your pockets is a sign of superiority;

· crossed limbs – skeptical defensive attitude;

· tilting the head down – negative attitude;

A slight tilt of the head back is a sign of aggressiveness;

· crossing your legs over your legs with crossing your arms on your chest is a sign of “disconnecting” from the conversation;

· crossed ankles of a person sitting - restraining a disapproving attitude, fear or anxiety, an attempt at self-control, a negative defensive state;

· position (sitting or standing) with legs oriented towards the exit - a clear desire to stop talking and leave;

· frequent changes of posture, fidgeting in a chair, fussiness - internal restlessness, tension;

· standing up is a signal that a certain decision has been made, the conversation is boring, something has surprised or shocked;

· clasped fingers – disappointment and the desire to hide a negative attitude (the higher the hands are located, the stronger the negative);

· supporting the head with the palm of your hand – boredom.

Be attentive to the client’s postures, they will tell you a lot and allow you to move the conversation in the right direction.

When talking with a client, you should take a posture that characterizes openness in communication and attention to the interlocutor. Always control your posture; closed, aggressive movements are unacceptable in conversation; it is forbidden to lean on exhibition samples; it is forbidden to talk to the client while sitting (when the client is standing).

Facial expressions of the manager-designer:

Most often, the main object of research is the human face. Studying basic facial expressions such as joy, anger, fear, disgust, surprise will allow you to quickly respond to the signals that the client gives.

Let's look at the most typical emotional states:

· protest – the corners of the mouth are slightly raised, the mouth may be slightly open, often accompanied by wide open eyes;

Surprise – the mouth is open as much as possible. If this expression is accompanied by wide open eyes, raised eyebrows, horizontal folds on the forehead, she expresses the highest degree of surprise - stunned;

· preoccupation – the lips are elongated into a “tube”, often accompanied by an appraising gaze looking into emptiness;

· a pointedly closed, tense mouth indicates firmness of character, often a lack of desire to continue the conversation, a denial of the possibility of compromise;

· compressed mouth - often the lips are retracted, the mouth strip is narrow, means refusal, denial, stubbornness and even cruelty, stubbornness and annoyance;

· drooping corners of the lips with a tense mouth characterize an active-negative position, anger, neglect, disgust, ridicule.

The sincerity of human emotions is usually indicated by symmetry in the display of feelings on the face, and the stronger the falsehood, the more different the facial expressions of its right and left halves are. Even easily recognizable facial expressions are sometimes very short-lived (fractions of a second) and often go unnoticed; To be able to intercept it, you need practice or special training.

At the same time, positive emotions (joy, pleasure) are recognized more easily than negative ones (sadness, shame, disgust). A person’s lips are particularly emotional, and they are not difficult to read: for example, increased facial expressions or biting of lips indicate anxiety, and a mouth twisted to one side indicates skepticism or ridicule.

Smile

A smile on the face usually shows friendliness or a need for approval. A smile for a man is a good opportunity to show that he is in control of himself in any situation. A woman's smile is much more truthful and more often corresponds to her actual mood. Smiles display different motives, and it is advisable for you to know their interpretation:

Excessive smiling – need for approval;

· a crooked smile is a sign of controlled nervousness;

· smile with raised eyebrows - willingness to agree;

· smiling with lowered eyebrows - showing superiority;

· a smile without lifting the lower eyelids is insincerity.

Eyes

His eyes speak about a person’s inner experiences. People are usually given away by any changes in the usual expression of the eyes:

· involuntary eye movements, noticeably “shifty eyes” – anxiety, shame, deception, fear;

· brilliant look – fever, excitement;

· glassy look – extreme weakness;

· enlarged pupils – a feeling of interest and pleasure from information, communication and other external factors, acceptance of something;

· constriction of the pupils – a surge of irritation, anger, hatred, negative emotions;

· increased blinking – excitement, deception;

· absent look – concentrated thinking;

· Shifting your gaze to surrounding objects and to the ceiling - loss of interest in the conversation, an excessively long monologue of the partner;

· side view – distrust.

Knowing facial expressions during various emotions is useful not only in order to understand the client, but also for carefully practicing (usually in front of a mirror) your working imitations.

Gestures

A gesture is not a movement of the body, but a movement of the soul. It communicates a person’s desire and what he is experiencing at that moment, and a habitual gesture for someone testifies to a trait of his character.

In sign language, used in everyday communication, there are two types of gestures: gestures-signs and gestures-signals.

Gestures-signs are deliberately reproduced movements or postures of the hands and head, designed for someone's perception and intended to convey information.

Gestures-signals are involuntary and unconscious, not designed for anyone’s perception (although they have meaning for an experienced observer).

When determining the client's thoughts and emotions, involuntary gestures should be especially noted:

· demonstration of open palms – an indicator of frankness;

clenching of fists - internal excitement, aggressiveness;

· touching the nose – uncertainty in what is being communicated, lying, searching for a new counterargument during the discussion;

· rubbing the eyelid with a finger – a feeling of suspicion and lies on the part of the partner;

· rubbing and scratching various parts of the head (forehead, cheeks, back of the head, ear) – concern, embarrassment, uncertainty;

· stroking the chin – the moment of decision making;

· various movements of the hand across the body (adjusting a watch, touching a cufflink, playing with a button on a cuff) – masked nervousness;

· picking up lint from clothes is a gesture of disapproval;

· pulling the obviously interfering collar away from the neck – lack of air when angry;

· wiping the lenses of glasses, or placing the frame of their frames in the mouth - pause to think, please wait;

· tilting the head to one side - awakening interest;

· Constantly pushing away “interfering” hair from the forehead – anxiety.

A manager's gestures should always correspond to his verbally expressed thoughts. Therefore, when selecting gestures you need to be very careful.

Thus, we can conclude that nonverbal means of communication are no less important in the communication process than verbal ones and carry a huge amount of information. The peculiarity of body language is that its manifestation is determined by the impulses of our subconscious, and the absence of the ability to fake these impulses allows us to trust this language more than the usual speech channel of communication. Learning different means of nonverbal communication will help you understand not only the people around you, but also yourself. Knowing and being able to apply these skills in nonverbal communication, you can easily and pleasantly communicate with other people.

Rules of business etiquette

In the studio, you are constantly faced with repetitive standard situations (greeting a client, introductions, phone calls, goodbyes, etc.). For them, there are established forms and rules of behavior - business etiquette. The effectiveness of work, the degree of mutual understanding with colleagues, clients and managers, as well as employee satisfaction with their work, and the moral and psychological climate in the team depend on how well communication is structured.

Business etiquette is the established procedure for the behavior of company employees with clients and the basis for relations between staff: managers and subordinates, as well as peers.

Remember the basic rules of business etiquette:

1. Time is money.

Punctuality and respect for other people's time are fundamental in the business world. Save your clients' time! Plan meetings in advance, manage time by creating a “workday card” in advance. Being late at work is unacceptable; learn to manage time by planning not only your working hours, but also preparing for them.

2. Compliance with the dress code.

The first impression of a person is easy to form by his appearance. Appearance determines status and position in society, can tell much more about a person’s character and inner world than his words. Observe the instructions specified in paragraph 1.3.1.

3. The desktop is like a mirror of the inner world.

Order on your desk means order in your head. This old postulate should be carved in golden letters on the doors of any office, study, or studio. Strict order, even stacks of papers, catalogs and folders, everything in its place - this is the ideal of a manager’s workplace.

4. Competent speech, business style letters.

5. Respect for the interlocutor, partner, client.

A manager who slammed the door in the face of a client who approached him at the end of the working day or before lunch; an employee talking loudly on the phone, where his colleagues are working or relaxing - these are psychological portraits of characters who do not know business etiquette. The manager-designer of the Maria company is always able to help and solve the problem that has arisen.

6. Maintaining commercial secrets.

The company has confidential information that is not subject to disclosure. An old poster from 1941 by artist Nina Vatolina “Don’t talk!” Today it is getting its second life and fits perfectly into the interior of many modern enterprises and organizations. Keep your information confidential!

7. At work - work!

Has your colleague set a “personal record” for the number of completed projects? The secret of his success is simple: he works 80% of the time while others “rest.”

8. The ability to listen and hear your opponent.

A rare gift given by nature: the ability to hear another, to understand him. In business, this gift brings in millions; it has a precise definition - “hearing for money.” Each client will definitely talk about what he needs, what torments him, what he needs help with. It is only important to be able to hear and make a counter offer. This skill is also important for you because it helps save the client’s time, which more expensive than money, since it cannot be accumulated.

9. Telephone etiquette

Many customers judge a company based on telephone conversations and employee responses over the phone. You need to prepare for a telephone dialogue in advance: prepare questions to ask your interlocutor, clarify the time, names and dates that may be needed in the conversation. Personal calls during business hours are allowed only if absolutely necessary. An empty conversation on the phone disturbs colleagues, distracts the attention of employees and creates the image of a frivolous, empty person.

10. Relationships in the team between employees.

The microclimate in the team largely depends on the kind of relationships that have developed between colleagues in the company. Smooth, friendly, respectful relationships are the basis of a healthy team.

Interaction with colleagues

It is common for a person to express his emotions and feelings in the process of communication, regardless of oral presentation or in the form of written messages. People, in direct contact with each other, using facial expressions, body language and gestures bring bright colors to the story. It becomes possible to understand whether the interlocutor was interested in this topic or left indifferent.

Non-verbal communication. Truth or myth?

Some doubt the existence of body language, considering all conversations on this topic to be empty fiction.

Opponents of the theory of postures and gestures argue that changes in body position occur for completely different reasons. For example, when sitting, it is more convenient for a person to cross his arms if there are no armrests, and not at all because he is a misanthrope.

People start yawning not only because they start to get bored. Lack of oxygen in a cramped office or overwork can trigger this process. Therefore, before formulating conclusions, it is necessary to understand why the interlocutor began to actively gesticulate or rotate an object in his hands.

An experiment will help reveal sign language. And the subjects can be friends and relatives, whose facial expressions, postures and gestures change in different life situations. But in no case should you impose and put pressure, otherwise you can damage many years of friendship and good relationships.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal means of communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without the use of speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60–80% of veiled information.

Each of us, when communicating with an opponent who competently sets out the essence of the matter and argues with facts, often feels some kind of catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and veracity of the information, intuition suggests that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, the person is looking for something to complain about.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, posture and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. A certain inconsistency appears and serious concerns arise that he is not acting in your interests at all.

It is difficult for a person to hold back emotions for a long time; they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, rules of decency and norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them by changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and turns into a habit.

Examples of nonverbal communication

• If a girl, showing off her wrist, communicates with a member of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get closer to him. And if he also paints his lips with bright lipstick, then he has truly become the object of her passion.

• There is a common method of establishing contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor crossed his arms, you can repeat this body movement. This manipulation promotes non-verbal unity. There is a whole set of such small tricks.

To grasp the true meaning, you need to pay close attention to the position of the interlocutor's hands and feet.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the truth, and sometimes contradict what was said.

It is difficult to believe a person with crossed limbs convincing another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill his promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of his partners for his personal interests.

Through gestures and posture you can hide some information from your opponents. Despite the casualness and ease of communication, the posture makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

Psychology of Gestures

Alan Pease, a famous psychologist, is called "Mr. Body Language." The author has published his works in millions of copies. Alana Pease set out to not only teach the reader to “decipher” body language, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Even the slightest changes do not escape his attention, up to the dilation of the pupils and the closing of the eyelids.

Firstly, there is an opportunity to establish communications.

Secondly, it is possible to calculate with a high degree of probability further actions person.

From the standpoint of psychological knowledge, Alan focuses on distinctive features behavior and gestures in women and men.

In addition to gender differences, the body movements of managers and subordinates differ sharply. Watching a conversation, you can record the rapid change of emotions.

Nonverbal behavior and gestures

• If a friend is hunched over, this indicates that he has been severely offended or has experienced severe stress. The exorbitant “severity of the problems” does not allow him to straighten his shoulders. He feels discomfort because he cannot cope with the situation and thus closes down.

• If the interlocutor leans towards the speaker, this means that he is interested in the topic of the conversation. So he tries to get closer to the source of information.

• By tilting his head and simultaneously lowering his eyelids, the interlocutor expresses complete approval. There is no doubt about his respectful attitude. On the contrary, if a person often touches his face with his hands, touching his eyes or the corners of his mouth, he does not trust you.

• An individual's condition is revealed by his hands. When excited and irritated, it is common for a person to stroke himself, straighten his hair, or roll and fiddle with the first objects he comes across in his hands. Sometimes he puts his fingers in his mouth. In this case, he needs the support and approval of his opponent.

• Trust, openness, and willingness to cooperate are demonstrated by open palms. If he doesn't cross his elbows or legs, he will appeal to you. And if he puts his hands behind his back and raises his chin high, he thereby demonstrates his superiority.

• To convince your partner of a serious and responsible approach to further cooperation, you should use the following method. During business negotiations You need to mentally draw a potential partner a triangle between the eyes above the bridge of the nose and look into this area.

75 signs of body language according to Max Eggert

	Physical sign	Possible values
	Adam's apple movements	Anxiety, lies
	Hands in front of the body, touching a purse, jewelry, shirt collar, etc.	Uncertainty
	One arm across the body, secured to the other arm	Uncertainty
	Hands and palms open	Openness, sincerity
	Arms crossed on chest	Shutting off someone or something not recognized, expressing a negative attitude
	Hands crossed, one holding the other	Uncertainty
	Hands holding a purse, cup, etc. like behind a barrier	Uncertainty
	Shrinking	Desire to protect yourself
	Blinking (fast)
	Deep breath	Relaxation, agreement
	Stroking the chin	Thinking about a decision, evaluating
	Sincere smile	Greeting, desire for rapprochement, approval
	Rubbing eyes	Confusion, fatigue
	Extinguished look	Boredom, overthinking
	Touching the face (including mouth, eyes, ears, neck)	Trying to hide the truth or nervousness
	Finger (glasses, etc.) in the mouth	Evaluation or waiting for confirmation
	Direction of toes	Indication of where attention is directed (toward the door, if the person wants to leave, to the interlocutor, if he is attractive)
	Stomping
	Stroking your interlocutor	Desire for intimacy
	Preening	Showing interest in your interlocutor
	Palm chopping	Aggressiveness
	Wrist circumference behind back	Complete trust or vice versa - frustration
	Hand resting on head	Interested evaluation
	Stroking the back of the neck	Feeling threatened or angry
	Face resting on open palms, elbows on the table	A feminine trick to make yourself look more attractive or attract a man's attention
	Clenched fists	Frustration (the stronger the frustration, the higher the fists)
	Hands behind your back	Confidence, authority
	Hands in pockets	Trying to appear confident, “Convince me,” or showing aloofness
	Hands with elbows spread on knees	Using space to demonstrate dominance
	Hands open, palms up	Submission
	Rubbing palms	Hope for success
	Hands clasped	Confidence, relaxation, arrogance
	Support on hands	Expressing power through the use of space
	Handshake with elbow	Attempt to demonstrate close friendship
	Extending your hand with your palm down	Trying to apply pressure
	Extending your hand with your palm up	Sign of submission
	Handshake, other hand on shoulder	Attempt to demonstrate intimacy
	Handshake with the other hand on top	Desire to show dominance
	Handshake with vertical palms and approximately equal strength	Showing respect, recognizing equality and “inviting” rapport
	Handshake with wrist wrap	Showing joy when meeting. Acceptable in close relationships
	Gesticulation in front of the face	Negative attitude; lies or nervousness
	Increased breathing	Fear or anxiety
	Forward lean	Interest, approval
	Crossed legs	Withdrawn, submissive or protective posture; for women - a sign of comfort
	The leg is crossed over the leg so that the one farthest from the neighbor is closest to him	Sign of approval or sympathy
	Four legs: one ankle on the other’s knee	Confidence, dominance, competitive posture
	Socks apart (men)	Openness or dominance
	Legs spread	Using space to assert leadership
	Lip biting	Anxiety, reluctance to speak up
	Licking lips	Anxiety, attention seeking
	Looking at the clock	Desire to leave, boredom, indifference
	Mirroring
	Covering your mouth	The desire to ask if someone is lying to you, or the reluctance to say too much
	Moving backwards	Disagreement or anxiety
	Forward movement
	Palm bent, index finger pointing forward	The desire to achieve agreement or submission
	Palms facing down	Show of power
	Palms facing up	Agreement, willingness to listen
	Preening	Desire to be attractive
	Taking a quick or sharp breath	Surprise, shock
	Sitting opposite each other	Competitive or defensive position
	Sitting side by side, chairs slightly turned towards each other	Cooperation position
	Smile with just lips	Submissiveness or insincerity
	Smile all over your face	Greeting, goodwill, invitation to recognition
		Arrogance or insincerity
	Speech is free and fast	Passion
	Sudden slowing of speech
	Full height pose	The desire for dominance, for attractiveness
	Steepling	Trust or, when listening, the sign “Convince me!”
	Clenched teeth	Frustration, anger
	Playing with your thumbs, such as putting them in your jacket or trouser pockets	Sign of superiority, dominance, authority
	Thumbs tucked into waistband or pockets	Sexual Aggression Pose
	Increased tics	Anxiety

The pose of our interlocutor will reveal his intentions before he begins to talk about them, and the expression of his face will “tell” about the most subtle experiences much more and more accurately than the most lengthy description. Nonverbal behavior is controlled mainly by unconscious processes, part of which are habits, automatic actions, which there is simply “no time and no need to think about.” Therefore, nonverbal communication channels rarely provide unreliable, false information, since they are less controllable than verbal communication.

Non-verbal communication

For any specialist working in the field of trade, it is very important to know the processes occurring in the client’s mind at every moment of business negotiations. Thoughtful observation of bodily movements is not as simple a task as it seems at first. In reality, the client doesn't care about giving us extra time to decipher his messages. He offers us a complex of small movements for interpretation and gives us only the time to think about the next move that is filled with his own words. Correct decoding of a non-verbal message allows us to take a step towards concluding a deal; incorrect decoding takes us in the opposite direction.

Of course, the client will not tell us: “I took out this insurance because the manager who discussed the contract with me sat in an open position, looked me in the eyes 2/3 of the time, and while discussing the details of the contract sat next to me, and not against". Most likely, this client will say: “I just like this person and what he offers inspires confidence.”

To have a professional impact on clients, it is necessary not only to correctly determine what each gesture means, but also to thoroughly study and expand the arsenal of your own gestures and movements.

Body language is varied and includes several plans. Each movement has its own meaning and carries a certain “message” to others. This message can be expressed by fairly typical movements, or it can have its own individual content, understandable only upon close acquaintance with the person. There are five non-verbal channels through which interlocutors exchange information:

• space;
• facial expressions;
• sight;
• bodily movements.

Space and work with the client

The distance between two people entering into communication (not necessarily verbal) is usually called distance. One of the most important indicators professional work manager is his ability to choose the optimal distance during a business conversation. Here are two situations typical for the Russian market.

• Situation one. The client comes to the showroom and carefully examines the products on offer. Model X attracts his attention so much that he wants to know about it Additional information. Our buyer is looking for a manager who could advise him on this issue. Alas, the nearest " Living being” is located at a distance of three meters, with all his appearance communicating that he is fully engaged in his work. In response to our client’s question about an additional squiggle for Model X, the manager, maintaining a three-meter distance, casually points with his hand in an unspecified direction: “Ask there.”
• Situation two. An assertive manager, trained in the “grabbing technique,” ​​approaches the client almost closely and, taking advantage of his confusion, lays out the entire assortment of goods right under the nose of the unfortunate person. At the same time, the client signals his discomfort in all possible ways (leans his body back, frowns, smiles forcefully), but the manager prefers not to pay attention to this. But as soon as he falls silent, our client replies: “Thank you, I don’t need that.”

Each person feels the space around him as his own, inviolable. This space can be represented in the form of a cocoon, the diameter of which is an outstretched arm, slightly bent at the elbow. If someone encroaches on this space, the person feels uncomfortable, “out of place” and strives to escort the intruder out of “their” territory.

For each person, the size of the cocoon and, accordingly, the distances are individual. Usually confident, contactable people communicate calmly at close range, flexibly adapting to the distance of the interlocutor. Closed, “problem” people feel additional stress when the distance decreases. Therefore, they choose more restrained communication and, accordingly, a longer distance.

In addition to the individual characteristics of the distance, there are general patterns that are characteristic of most people. There are four types of distance for communication:

• intimate;
• personal;
• social;
• public.

You can choose the distance at which communication with the client takes place, depending on the goals that you set for yourself. But it is important to remember that distance will only work to close a deal if both you and your client feel comfortable at this distance.

intimate distance

(from direct physical contact to 40-45 cm) characterizes close, intimate communication. People with whom warm, trusting relationships are established are allowed to travel this distance. A person allowed to communicate at such a close distance is allowed physical contact - light touching, stroking, squeezing. Tactile contact is perceived as one of the confirmations of the trusting relationship that has developed between two people.

Entering an intimate space makes the other person significant and influential. This pattern is well used by clothing and jewelry sellers. If the buyer allows the seller to try on a jacket or ring, the likelihood of purchasing this particular item increases sharply. It is important to remember that a manager can increase his influence on a client only if he is actually allowed into the intimate space, and does not force his way into it. An unexpected violation of personal territory is perceived as pressure and causes a response of resistance. Salespeople who try to come close to the client, pat him on the shoulder, shake his hand even if they don’t extend it, may look relaxed, however, many buyers will evaluate their “free” behavior as intrusive and even defiant. Professionally working the seller does not seek to enter a zone intended only for close people. His efforts are aimed at moving his own goods into the intimate space of the client. In this case, the item becomes “closer and dearer” for the client.

Personal distance

is in the range from 45 to 120 cm. This distance is optimal for negotiations if a fairly close relationship has already been established with the client. If the relationship remains cool and the buyer experiences a certain distrust of the manager, you should not approach him closer than 120 cm. In the process of concluding a transaction, the distance at which both interlocutors are located may change. It is this change that is the important “message” that our client sends. Typically, the conductor of such a message is the legs or body of a person. If the buyer takes a small step back, most likely we have violated the distance at which he wants to communicate. If the customer leans forward and cranes his neck, we should move closer to him. Changing the distance can become good indicator internal experiences of the client. Mistrust, tension, irritation force the buyer to increase the distance. Interest and emotional involvement “pushes” the client closer to both the product and the seller.

Social distance

is determined in the range from 120 to 260 cm. This distance is optimal for starting official negotiations, important element which is the preservation of status. By giving our communication partner more personal space, we emphasize its importance and weight. This distance is also well suited for negotiations involving more than two people.

Important information for the seller is carried not only by the distance chosen by the client, but also by the location of things in the space that the buyer “owns”. Particularly important is the location of a chair, armchair or other “sitting” place for the visitor. You can probably remember many small, seemingly insignificant gestures with the help of which the client “indicates” you from which place it is better to communicate with him. The buyer may unconsciously maintain a greater distance in order to avoid contact, emphasize his own status, or increase his influence by maintaining a position “on top.” IN in public places, where the distance is set by boundaries in the form of various tables, windows and partitions, you can observe clients “leaning” over the counter and craning their necks just to maintain a distance at which they can communicate comfortably.

Public distance

starts from 260 cm. This distance involves communicating with a group of people. Choosing a public distance is effective for presentations. The remoteness of the “lecturer” allows the audience to feel like a single group with similar interests.

The type of distance is quite strictly related to the style of behavior. Thus, a manager will be able to gain the attention of the audience during a presentation if he uses a well-positioned voice and a “moving” gaze that allows him to establish visual contact with each listener. At the same time, maintaining this behavior in a one-on-one conversation will make the client want to move away.

Here is a typical picture that can be seen in many presentations: a good-looking young man loudly and clearly pronounces a well-prepared text designed to attract potential clients. This text has a positive effect on the mind of the “wandering” buyer and forces him to come closer to the manager. The situation has changed - the client has reduced the distance. What does our manager do? He maintains a presentation style that is completely ineffective for communicating with a client who is within personal distance. Instead of building contact with a real buyer, he continues to “broadcast” to customers who bypass him. The inquisitive client, having not received psychological reinforcement for his bold behavior, leaves. Moreover, buyers who were interested in the text of the message, but were embarrassed to come closer, now see that there is “nothing interesting” there.

Gestures and postures as a coded message

The information necessary to conclude a transaction is stored in the facial expressions, gestures and postures of our clients. We can use this information by observing the client's overall behavior, trusting our intuition, and can pay attention to individual gestures that send a coded message to the experienced observer. Let's look at some of them.

Closed pose

. The pose in which a person crosses his arms and legs is called closed. Arms crossed on the chest are a modified version of the barrier that a person puts between himself and his interlocutor. The closed pose carries the message: “I am self-absorbed, I don’t want to contact you.” Sometimes this posture expresses disagreement or even dissatisfaction with what the interlocutor is saying. If it is reinforced by clenched fists, then an attentive observer will understand that the interlocutor is not only “holding the line”, but is also ready, if anything happens, for battle.

About a third of the information perceived in this position is not assimilated by the interlocutor. The simplest way to “remove” a client from a position that is unfavorable for us is to offer to hold or look at something. By changing the position of the body, the client also changes the position of the hands. If we see that the client maintains a closed posture in order to feel more confident, then we must provide him with at least minimal support. If we see that the closed posture is an expression of disagreement with our point of view, we need to find out what our client is dissatisfied with .

Open pose

An open position is considered to be one in which the arms and legs are not crossed, the body is directed towards the interlocutor and the palms are slightly turned towards the communication partner. All channels of nonverbal communication are closely interconnected. As soon as a person changes his blank gaze to an interested one, he can no longer remain in a closed position: the shoulders straighten, the arms cease to act as a protective barrier, the legs acquire a more stable position, and the facial expression becomes more contact-like. An open posture conveys the message to the client: “I am committed to communicating with you.” Therefore, buyers usually evaluate such a manager as interested, communicative, friendly, and well versed in the product.

For some managers, accustomed to defending themselves from clients with various closed postures, it can be quite difficult to maintain an open posture throughout a business conversation. Sometimes you can hear the following statements: “It looks unnatural,” “I’m so uncomfortable,” “I’m used to it differently.” Any change in the usual posture, movement or gesture seems unnatural and therefore not entirely comfortable. Sometimes, in order to overcome the discomfort associated with an unusual posture, you just need to “catch” a certain inner sensation. If you induce in yourself a mood corresponding to the following statements: “I am attuned to the client, it is interesting and important for me to hear his opinion. I sincerely want to help him solve his problems,” then the body itself will choose the most comfortable position for itself. This will be your individual open posture, which will help in working with clients.

Covering the mouth and scratching the nose

A child who has just let it slip screams “oh” and immediately covers his mouth with his palm, as if putting a barrier to the spoken words. With age, this gesture is modified and becomes more sophisticated, but its meaning remains the same. Covering your mouth reflects the interlocutor's two conflicting desires: to speak out and to remain unheard. In this case, the manager can help the interlocutor talk by asking him a question or paying attention to his posture using the statement: “I see that you do not agree with me on everything.” The gesture of touching the nose conveys similar information about the client. It is a veiled version of the “closed” mouth. A client who scratches or strokes his or her own nose is likely this moment is in opposition to the manager’s statement.

Gestures used by the client to cover his nose and mouth convey important information to us about the client's honesty. These gestures indicate that there is a contradiction between what the client is saying and what he is actually thinking. You should not believe a client who, scratching his nose, says: “We will discuss the terms of the deal in more detail next time.” There won't be a next time.

Touching your ear

Ear scratching is a lighter version of “plugging” the ears and means that a person does not want to hear what the interlocutor is telling him. Such a reaction is possible if the client becomes bored listening to the sales agent or does not agree with one of his statements. In any case, the manager should find out what in his speech causes such resistance. This can be done by asking questions: “Do you disagree with me?” or “What do you think?”

Supporting your chin with your palm

If you are giving a presentation and your client is supporting his head with his palm, then you should use one of the techniques that increases the attention of your interlocutor. The client rests his cheek or chin with his palm if he is bored, uninterested and struggling with his desire to fall asleep. In this case, he, of course, needs additional support in the form of a hand. The less the client is interested in our offers, the more his head comes into contact with his palm.

During long business negotiations, especially with “chatty” or “boring” clients, a salesperson may unconsciously maintain his waning interest with the help of additional support. But this gesture will work against concluding a deal, as it will convey fatigue and disinterest to the client.

Stroking the chin

This gesture suggests that the client is in the stage of reflection and is considering for himself possible options. For the manager, this gesture carries important information that it is necessary to once again ask about the buyer’s doubts, listen to them and give reasons for and against purchasing the product. The manager can use this gesture in a situation where he needs to think (this gesture with successfully replaces head scratching and neck rubbing), or in a situation where he wants to show that the client's suggestions need additional thought.

Head position

If you have a dog or cat at home, you are well aware of situations when your pet struggles to understand what you are talking about. At this moment, the animal's head tilts slightly to the side. The same thing happens with an interested client. When the body is slightly tilted forward and the head is slightly turned to the side, the client's readiness to perceive new information is maximum. It is at this moment that the manager's statements have the greatest persuasive power.

In order to inspire the greatest confidence in the client, the manager should listen to the client with his head slightly tilted. Such a gesture will tell the client that the seller’s interest is sincere and genuine. It is important not only how much the head is tilted to the side, but also how much its position differs from vertical along the “forward-backward” axis. The posture of a manager with his head bent forward and looking from under his brows will be perceived by the client as “intimidating.” This head position is often maintained by sales agents who have received several refusals in a day, but at the same time decide not to give up. And the posture of a manager who throws his head back a little will be perceived as arrogant or appreciative.

Gestures of impatience

If a client taps his fingers on the table, fidgets in his chair, stomps his feet, or looks at his watch, then he is signaling to others that his patience is running out. Typically, a client shows impatience in three main cases:

• if you “wrongly” agreed on the time frame of the business conversation. For example, the seller said that his visit would not take more than 10 minutes, but in fact the conversation had already been going on for half an hour. You should not deceive the client. A short visit may help arrange a meeting, but the client’s attention will be limited to just 10 minutes. For the last 20 minutes you will have to deal with an impatient and sometimes irritated client who is not thinking about the product, but about how to get rid of you quickly;
• if the client is unable to concentrate on the topic of discussion due to his own worries and worries. In this case, the manager should move on to the topic that worries the client at the moment, question him in detail and express sympathy and support. This will help the client return to the subject of conversation;
• if the manager's proposals do not affect his interests. This usually happens if the sales agent misjudged the client - at the moment he does not need his product. Or if the seller was unable, during a business conversation, to highlight the benefits that the buyer would receive as a result of the transaction.

A manager may unknowingly demonstrate impatience in the following situations:

• if the client has made a fundamental decision to purchase and is busy completing the documentation;
• if the client is assessed as “unpromising” and delays the seller with “talks about the weather.”

Gestures of superiority

For some managers, a serious problem is the need to establish contact with a client who demonstrates his own superiority. Typically, such clients can be seen from afar by their distinct gait, straight posture, and raised chin. Managers who have trouble communicating with clients who emphasize their own superiority often unconsciously resort to two ineffective tactics.

1. The first of them is determined by the position occupied by the seller “from below”. Communicating from this position, the sales agent begins to look ingratiatingly at the buyer, stoop and smile pleadingly. This allows the client to “straighten his shoulders” and feel his own importance. However, the persuasiveness of influencing the client from a position “from below” is sharply reduced, even when using effective communication techniques.
2. Another tactic involves the salesperson's position at the top. Trading agent begins to use the same gestures that our client just demonstrated. He straightens up (thus increasing his height by a couple of centimeters), adds arrogance to his own gaze, and lifts his chin up. Usually such confrontation does not lead to anything good. The client either prefers “not to get involved” and does not come into contact with the seller, or begins to “pressure” the manager in order to prove his own advantage.

It is surprising that these types of clients desperately need to emphasize their own importance, because deep down they do not have enough confidence in themselves. With a client seeking self-affirmation, you can use techniques to help him stay on top. We can make him feel superior by offering him a high-status role. For example: “What would you do if you became the president of the company?”, “What would you advise us to do if you were the manager of a bank?” It is important to observe how the client’s movements change. Most likely, the muscles of the back and neck will relax a little, and the facial expression will become more friendly and interested.