SmartReading: Kelly McGonigal “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen.” Develop and strengthen willpower. Advice from a psychologist and philosopher

Ecology of life: The other day I read a book that turned all my ideas about willpower upside down and made me look at this issue from a different angle. This book is called “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen?”, it was written by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. and professor at Stanford University. This book talks about how our self-control depends on the processes occurring inside our body, and how to manage these processes.

I read a book that changed all my ideas about willpower and made me look at this issue from a different angle. This book is called “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen?”, written by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. and professor at Stanford University.

This book talks about how our self-control depends on the processes occurring inside our body, and how to manage these processes.

“Willpower” differs from most similar books on self-development in that it is based entirely on scientific research, and the author substantiates any statement he makes. Just look at the list of scientific works used in the preparation of the book, which occupies several dozen pages. There is no esotericism or any traditional (folk) methods here - only scientific approach. Kelly is not just a researcher, she is a practitioner who teaches her own course on developing willpower and has the opportunity to observe the effects of certain factors live, communicating and conducting experiments with her students.

In this article I want to highlight several of the most important points from the book, and I sincerely advise you to read it in its entirety. Even if you do not have problems making volitional decisions, the information provided will be very useful for you. general development and understanding how people really work.

Kelly McGonigal

What is willpower?

Willpower (or self-control) is the human ability to control three forces that regulate all our actions and desires:

"I won't"- this is the ability to say “no”, a component of willpower, which is usually perceived as willpower in general. When you try to resist eating a bad cake, buying a trinket, smoking a cigarette, or giving in to any other temptation, you are exercising the power of “I Won’t.”

"I will" - back side the previous force that allows us to do what we need to do by volitional decision. Forcing yourself to work, do exercises, clean your room, or do any other unpleasant, uninteresting, but useful thing is a manifestation of the power of “I will.”

"I want"- the third force, reflecting what is really important to you. It manifests itself in those moments when you retreat from your important life goals for the sake of momentary temptations. For example, with a cake, if the force of “I won’t” puts pressure on you not to eat it because it harms the body and makes you fat, then “I want” forces you to give up the yummy food because you want something something to achieve: to please another person, to fit into old jeans, to look good in a photo.

Where did willpower come from?

Willpower is unique to humans, and it has appeared hundreds of thousands of years ago as a survival mechanism that pushes us to make the right decisions. As is known, evolutionary selection leaves only the strongest alive, and if in wildlife the first people (like animals) had to trust their instincts in everything, then with the advent of human society more complex needs came to the fore.

To survive among yourself human-like he had to learn to keep selfish instincts under control and develop qualities that would help him in the long run: the ability to cooperate, build relationships, take care of himself, control his impulses. Actually, it is precisely this feature of making decisions consciously, and not instinctively, that made us real people.

IN modern times Willpower similarly allows us to outperform those around us and achieve greater success. Strong-willed people, whatever one may say, are healthier and happier, they earn more and achieve greater success in their careers, they have more strong relationships, they cope better with stress and problems, and resolve conflicts more easily. According to Kelly (and I agree), self-control is more important than intelligence in learning, more important than sensitivity in family matters, and more important than charisma in relationships.

From a physiological point of view, willpower has its rightful place in the body - this is the perfrontal cortex, the largest region of the brain. There are three main areas in the perfrontal cortex responsible for self-control: “I will” is located in the upper left, “I will not” is in the right, and “I want” is slightly lower and closer to the center.

It is this part of the brain that allows us to control ourselves and make the right decisions. There are cases where, with injuries to the front part of the brain, people remained alive, but almost completely lost the ability to control their actions - they began to commit stupid (from the point of view of society) and thoughtless actions, to behave rudely, selfishly and aggressively.

So, any processes occurring in the perfrontal cortex affect our level of self-control. Our task is to use them for good, to develop and strengthen willpower.

How to develop and strengthen willpower?

There are at least thirteen properties of willpower, knowing and using which you can pump your self-control to the maximum. All of them influence one, two or all three of the forces that make up willpower (pardon the pun).

1. Willpower can be trained like a muscle. The more often you resort to volitional efforts, the easier it becomes for you to do this in the future. If you constantly take care of yourself in small ways, you can strengthen your willpower in general.

2. Meditation. Regular meditation increases blood flow to the perfrontal cortex in much the same way that lifting weights increases blood flow to the muscles. As a result, the cortex adapts, enlarging and speeding up its work - and, therefore, self-control increases.

3. Deep breathing. When the brain “turns on” instincts, our heartbeat speeds up and our breathing quickens. Conversely, deep, slow breathing allows you to concentrate and raise your will above your instincts. Therefore, when you need to stop the internal struggle and make a volitional decision, breathe as slowly and deeply as possible for some time - self-control will return.

4. Training. Exercise, like meditation, enlarges and speeds up the perfrontal cortex, and also relieves stress and is a powerful antidepressant. This includes not only exercise, but also any other active daily activity.

What reduces willpower?

5. Lack of sleep. Chronic lack of sleep disrupts the amount of glucose consumed, which means the brain is left without nutrition and begins to starve. Self-control, as the most energy-consuming task, simply turns off at such times, and that is why in a sleepy state it is difficult for us to make decisions and be responsible for our actions.

Moreover, in a state of sleep deprivation, the perfrontal cortex loses control over other areas of the brain, which leads to disruption of hormonal levels and an even greater loss of self-control. This process is reversible - you just need to get enough sleep.

6. Willpower has limits. Paradox: the more often you try to control yourself, the more your willpower gets tired and discharged, which can lead to a complete loss of control over yourself. Since it follows from the first point that willpower is like a muscle, it gets tired after exercise and needs to be restored.

By the way, this is why it is so easy to break down when following a diet. To prevent this from happening, firstly, self-control training must be gradual, and secondly, you must let go of the “reins” of control from time to time and relax.

7. Good deeds weaken willpower. Having done (or supposed to do) a good deed, we tend to forget about our true goals (“I want”) and allow ourselves some kind of concessions or “rewards”. For example, having bought something in a supermarket at a discount, we always risk spending more overall than we could: this is how we reward ourselves for resourcefulness and a successful purchase.

Having ordered healthy and healthy dish, it’s easier for us to make a concession and choose something harmful for him. Having done a useful deed, we reward ourselves with a trinket or a harmful tasty treat. It's good when good deeds are rewarded, but it's very bad when these rewards go against your real goals and values.

8. Self-control decreases greatly as dopamine levels increase. The hormone dopamine is responsible for the pleasant anticipation of reward and is released when we expect something pleasant. It is because of dopamine that the likelihood of smoking a cigarette or eating a cake increases sharply when you see it (him) packed in a beautiful wrapper.

This is why many men turn off their brains when a beautiful woman appears in their lives. That is why another fashionista, seeing Nice dress, can break out and buy it for crazy money. The closer the object of your pleasure, the more dopamine is released, and the higher the chance that you will simply lose your head.

9. A bird in the hand is better than a pie in the sky. One of the features of our psyche and special case the previous point is that a person prefers to get something right NOW, even if he is told that he will receive much more LATER.

The opportunity to possess a thing or experience pleasure NOW turns on instincts, which, as has been said more than once, are aimed at survival and receiving joy from life, the enhanced synthesis of the aforementioned dopamine starts and completely turns off willpower. By the way, this is the basis of the well-known trick of scammers who show you beautiful thing, they let you hold it in your hands, and then they take it away - and you madly want to buy it, because it is almost yours.

10. Stress greatly reduces willpower. When we are stressed, our brain does its best to direct us towards something that can bring pleasure, even if it is dubious from the point of view of your goals. This is why many overweight people tend to eat stress, and alcoholics tend to drink. It gives joy, although it destroys the body.

11. Subconscious fear of death reduces willpower. Unlike our primitive ancestors, we can almost always be sure that nothing threatens our lives. But, nevertheless, subconsciously we experience fear from bad news, incidents and various horror stories. This fear puts our body into defense mode, and, just like in the previous point, the brain reduces self-control and goes in search of dubious pleasures.

In order not to be exposed to the situations described in the previous paragraphs, avoid these irritants, and constantly keep your real goals before your eyes.

12. Guilt reduces willpower. Having succumbed to any temptation, we tend to blame ourselves and at the same time lose self-control. In a state of guilt, these temptations can turn into a chain reaction - than more people drinks alcohol, the more he wants, the more harmful things he eats, the more difficult it is for him to give them up.

Instead of making a strong-willed decision to refuse to “continue the banquet,” he says: “I’ve already broken all my diets, a couple more pieces of cake won’t make a difference.” The principle of operation of our brain is the same - having succumbed to feelings of guilt and having experienced stress, the brain seeks pleasure and finds it in what caused this feeling. The solution here is this: try to be less self-critical and learn to forgive yourself for all sorts of minor mistakes.

13. Your self-control directly depends on society. As already mentioned, the mechanism of willpower arose in order to regulate the needs and desires of a person living in society. This also has a downside: public opinion greatly influences all the decisions we make, sometimes causing us to lose control of ourselves. Remember how often you are faced with the need to be like everyone else? I personally know people who make decisions about how to dress for the street not based on the weather, but based on “what are they wearing out there now?”

This might interest you:

Emotions such as pride and shame also influence our actions and decisions, much more powerfully than logic and rational arguments. In order to direct this effect in the right direction, you need to pay attention to your surroundings - who do you communicate with, from whom do you tend to adopt certain traits and habits, who do you try to imitate? Make plans and, again, keep your long-term goals before your eyes - and you will live not like everyone else, but the way you want. published

Are you a strong-willed person? Do you have the strength to become your own opponent, managing to control your own desires? Most people believe that they lack willpower, and they would not mind acquiring this omnipotent ability. If you are one of these dreamers, then the book “Willpower” by Kelly McGonigal will help fulfill this desire, making dreams of managing feelings and emotions come true.

You have the opportunity to download Kelly McGonigal’s book “Willpower” for free in fb2, epub, pdf, txt, doc from the link below.

People don't know how to cope with stress and accept right decisions in an era when it is most needed. People do not know how to keep promises made to themselves, leaving the work they have begun unfinished. Why?

They simply lack the willpower that makes them achieve their goals, overcoming any obstacles. This is the conclusion reached by the author of the book “Willpower,” Kelly McGonigal, a famous psychologist and professor at Stanford University, whose professional activity involves teaching a course for students on the development of willpower.

The author is confident that the cause of all human troubles lies in the inability to control one’s emotions. This has a negative impact on the physical and mental health. Ms. McGonigal assures that self-control is at the core of developing willpower. Together, these two components can help a person always achieve their goals and make dreams come true.

In her book Willpower, Kelly McGonigal outlines a scientific approach to developing and strengthening willpower. In the book you will not find banal exercises. All methods and strategies are refined psychological techniques, which humanity has been developing for decades, based on complex experiments.

Each author's argument is scientifically based. But this is not a boring theory with a lot of unfamiliar and incomprehensible terms. Kelly McGonigal managed to maintain a balance of informativeness, practicality and accessibility of presentation, so that the reader learned to use his own resources hidden within everyone, managing to develop a powerful ability to an unprecedented scale.

Ms. McGonigal's book "Willpower" has no age restrictions. It is equally useful for teenagers and independent adults.

We also suggest you listen to an audiobook or read online book"Strength of will".

DOWNLOAD THE BOOK “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen"

Published with permission from Andrew Nurnberg Literary Agency

Book illustrations provided by Tina Pavlato of Visual Anatomy Limited (Ch. 1, 5), Hal Ersner-Hershfield and John Baron (Ch. 7)

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet or corporate networks, for private or public use without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by the Vegas-Lex law firm.

This book is well complemented by:

Whole life

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Time drive

Gleb Arkhangelsky

How to get things in order

David Allen

Personal development

Stephen Pavlina

Strategy and the fat smoker

David Meister

This book is dedicated to everyone who has ever struggled with temptation, addiction, procrastination, and persuading themselves to do something—that is, all of us

Preface. Introductory lesson on the course “The Science of Willpower”

To whomever I tell that I am teaching a course on willpower, they almost always answer me: “Oh, that’s what I lack.” Today, more than ever, people understand that willpower - the ability to control attention, feelings and desires - affects physical health, financial position, close relationships and professional success. We all know this. We know that we must be in complete control of our lives: what we eat, do, say, buy.

However, most people feel like failures on this path: one moment they control themselves, and the next they are overwhelmed by emotions and lose control. According to the American Psychological Association, society believes that a lack of willpower is main reason difficulties on the way to the goal. Many people feel guilty about letting themselves and others down. Many find themselves at the mercy of their own thoughts, feelings, and addictions - their behavior is dictated more by impulses than by conscious choice. Even the most skilled in self-control get tired of holding the line and ask themselves whether life really has to be so hard.

As a health psychologist and instructor in the wellness program at Stanford University School of Medicine, my job is to teach people how to manage stress and make healthy decisions. I watched for years as people struggled to change their thoughts, feelings, bodies, and habits, and realized that these sufferers' beliefs about willpower were getting in the way of their success and causing unnecessary stress. Although science could help them, people did not accept hard facts and continued to rely on old strategies, which, as I learned again and again, were not only ineffective - they were backfire, leading to sabotage and loss of control.

This inspired me to create the course “The Science of Willpower,” which I teach as part of the program additional education at Stanford University. The course summarizes the latest research from psychologists, economists, neuroscientists and doctors and explains how to break old habits and develop new ones, overcome procrastination, learn to focus and cope with stress. He reveals why we give in to temptation and how to find the strength to resist. He shows how important it is to understand the limits of self-control and suggests best strategies to develop willpower.

To my delight, “The Science of Willpower” quickly became one of the most popular courses the Stanford Extension Program has ever offered. At the very first lesson, we had to change the audience four times to accommodate the continuously arriving audience. Corporate executives, teachers, athletes, medical professionals and other curious people filled one of Stanford's largest auditoriums. Students began to bring their spouses, children and colleagues to introduce them to the treasured knowledge.

I hoped that the course would be useful to this diverse group. The goals of the people who attended the classes varied: some wanted to quit smoking or lose weight, while others wanted to get out of debt or become a good parent. But the result surprised even me. After four weeks, when surveyed, 97 percent of students reported that they had become more aware of their own behavior, and 84 percent reported that their willpower had strengthened as a result of the proposed strategies. By the end of the course, students were sharing how they had overcome 30 years of sugar cravings, finally paid their taxes, stopped yelling at their children, started exercising regularly, and felt that they were generally more satisfied with themselves and responsible for their decisions. Their assessment of the course: it changed their lives. The students were unanimous: The Science of Willpower gave them clear strategies for developing self-control and the strength to achieve what meant so much to them. The scientific findings were equally useful to the recovering alcoholic and to the person who couldn't break away from the addiction. Email. Self-control strategies helped people avoid temptations: chocolate, video games, shopping, and even a married coworker. Students attended classes to achieve personal goals such as running a marathon, starting a business, coping with the stress of job loss, family conflicts, and the dreaded Friday dictation test (that's what happens when moms bring their kids to class).

Of course, like any honest teacher, I admit that I also learned a lot from the students. They fell asleep when I talked too long about miracles scientific discoveries, but I forgot to mention what willpower has to do with it. They quickly told me which strategies worked in the real world and which ones failed (a laboratory experiment will never achieve this). They were creative with weekly assignments and shared with me new ways to turn abstract theories into useful rules For Everyday life. This book combines the best scientific achievements And practical exercises course, is based on the latest research and the experiences of hundreds of my students.

To successfully control yourself, you need to know your weaknesses.

Most books are about life changes: new diets or ways to gain financial freedom– will help you define your goals and even show you how to achieve them. But if we had enough awareness of what we want to fix, every New Year's resolution we made to ourselves would come true, and my classroom would be empty. A rare book will tell you why you are not doing what you need to do.

I believe that The best way develop self-control - understand how and why you lose it. Knowing what is most likely to make you give up won't set you up for failure, as many people fear. It will serve as your support and help you avoid the traps in which willpower tends to betray you. Research shows that people who think they have a strong will are actually much more likely to lose control when faced with temptation. For example, smokers who are particularly optimistic about their ability to abstain from cigarettes are much more likely to resume their old habits four months later, while overly optimistic weight loss dieters are minimally likely to lose weight. Why? They fail to predict when, where, or why they will give in to temptation. They expose themselves to great temptations, for example, hanging out in smoking groups or placing bowls of cookies around the house. Their breakdowns sincerely amaze them, and they give up at the slightest difficulty.

One day I decided to conduct a survey among readers about whether they conduct business, and if not, what is stopping them?

The results were unexpected. I guessed that most of my blog readers are involved in fitness and take care of their health, but the answers “no”, I admit, surprised me. Among the answer options there were logical reasons: lack of time and lack of knowledge about. Three people directly stated that they did not need it.

These two answers can be combined into one, since they both rely on the same mechanisms. Laziness, lack of composure, lack of self-control and concentration are largely due to chemical processes, occurring in our body. And a person who knows how to direct these processes in the right direction will be able to achieve great success in life.

In this blog you can find articles on how to develop willpower: , . Previously, I treated the concept of “willpower” as a certain feature of our psyche, our way of thinking. Kelly McGonigal's book Willpower. How to develop and strengthen” turned all my ideas about willpower upside down and made me look at this issue from a different angle - from the point of view of physiology. This book talks about how our volitional qualities and self-control depend on the processes occurring inside our body, and how to manage these processes.

Book Willpower. How to develop and strengthen

Kelly McGonigal is a Stanford University professor and Ph.D. who has spent many years studying the connection between our strong-willed qualities and our physiology. In addition to her academic work and teaching courses at the university, Kelly teaches yoga classes for stress relief and pain relief. After “Willpower,” I read her two other books — “Antipain” about meditative techniques for relieving pain and “Good stress as a way to become stronger” about benefiting from stressful situations. But “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen” - her main book, which brought Kelly world fame. In Russia it was published by the publishing house MIF in 2012.

If you want to know more about Kelly McGonigal, her life and work, I recommend reading.

From most similar self-development books, the book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen” is distinguished by the fact that it is entirely based on the results of scientific research. At the end of the book, Kelly provides several dozen pages with references to scientific works, used in writing the book. This is monumental work.

In this article I want to highlight a few of the most important points from the book, but I advise you to read it in its entirety. Even if you do not have problems making strong-willed decisions, the book will be useful for your general development and understanding of how people really work.

What is willpower?

According to McGonigal, willpower (or self-control) is the human ability to control three forces that regulate all our actions and desires:

"I won't"- the ability to say “no”, a component of willpower, which is usually perceived as willpower in general. When you try to resist eating a bad cake, buying a trinket, smoking a cigarette, or giving in to any other temptation, you are exercising the power of “I Won’t.”
"I will"- the reverse side of the previous force, which allows us to do what we need by a strong-willed decision. Forcing yourself to work, do exercises, clean your room, or do any other unpleasant, uninteresting, but useful thing is a manifestation of the power of “I will.”
"I want"- the third force, reflecting what is really important to you. It manifests itself in those moments when you retreat from your important life goals for the sake of momentary temptations. For example, with a cake, if the force of “I won’t” puts pressure on you not to eat it because it harms the body and makes you fat, then “I want” forces you to give up the yummy food because you want something something to achieve: to please another person, to fit into old jeans, to look good in a photo.

Where did willpower come from?

In the book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen” Kelly talks about where people got their strong-willed qualities.

The fact is that willpower is inherent only to humans, and it appeared hundreds of thousands of years ago as a survival mechanism, pushing us to make the right decisions.

As is known, evolutionary selection leaves only the strongest alive, and if in the wild the first people (like animals) had to trust their instincts in everything, then with the advent of human society more complex needs came to the fore. To survive among his own kind, a person had to learn to keep selfish instincts under control and develop qualities that help in the long term: the ability to cooperate, build relationships, take care of oneself, and control one’s impulses. The need to make decisions consciously, and not instinctively, is in many ways what made us real people.

Nowadays, willpower in the same way allows us to bypass more weak people and occupy high place in life. Strong-willed people are healthier, they are happier, they earn more and achieve greater career success, they have stronger relationships, they cope better with stress and problems, and resolve conflicts more easily. According to the book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen”, self-control in learning is higher than intelligence, in family affairs it plays a greater role than sensitivity, and in relationships it is more important than charisma.

IN human body there is an organ responsible, among other things, for willpower. This is the perfrontal cortex, the largest region of the brain. The perfrontal cortex has three main areas associated with self-control: “I will” is located in the upper left, “I will not” is located in the right, and “I want” is located slightly lower and closer to the center. It is this part of the brain that allows us to control ourselves and make the right decisions. There are cases where, with injuries to the front part of the brain, people remained alive, but almost completely lost the ability to control their actions - they began to commit stupid (from the point of view of society) and thoughtless actions, to behave rudely, selfishly and aggressively.

So, any processes occurring in the perfrontal cortex affect our level of self-control. Our task is to use them for good, to develop and strengthen willpower.

Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen?

There are at least thirteen properties of willpower, knowing and using which you can pump your self-control to the maximum:

Similar materials

A smart person wants to control himself - a child wants sweets. Rumi

According to the American Psychological Association, society believes that a lack of willpower is the main reason for difficulties in achieving goals.

- Test of strength "I will." Is there something you want to do more than anything else, or something you want to stop procrastinating because you know it will make your life so much easier?

- Test of strength "I won't." What is your most “sticky” habit? What would you like to get rid of or what would you like to do less often because it is harmful to your health, interferes with your happiness or success?

- Test of strength "I want." What is your most important long-term goal that you want to devote your energy to? What immediate “want” is most likely to tempt you and distract you from that goal?

1. “I will”, “I will not”, “I want”:
What is willpower and why is it important?

People who better manage their attention, feelings and actions are more successful, no matter how you look at it. They are healthier and happier. Close relationships bring them more joy and last longer. They earn more and achieve more in their careers. They cope better with stress, resolve conflicts, and overcome adversity. They even live longer. If you compare willpower with other virtues, it turns out to be the highest.

this week watch how you give in to desires. Don’t even set a goal to improve your self-control just yet. Check if you can catch yourself as early as possible, note what you think about, what you feel, what situations most often cause an impulse. How do you convince yourself to give in to it?

MEDITATE! Neuroscientists have found that when you ask the brain to meditate, it not only learns to meditate better, but also acquires a whole set of important self-control skills, including mindfulness, composure, stress management, impulse control and self-awareness. People who meditate regularly are not just more successful in these areas. Over time, their brain begins to work like a well-oiled strong-willed machine. They have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex and in areas of the brain responsible for self-awareness. ...In one experiment, in just three hours meditation practice people have improved composure and self-control. After 11 hours, scientists tracked changes in the brain. Beginner yogis have strengthened the neural connections between the areas of the brain that are responsible for concentration and impulse control. In another study, eight weeks of daily meditation practice led to increased self-awareness in everyday life and increased gray matter in related areas of the brain.

The main idea: willpower consists of three forces: “I will”, “I will not” and “I want” - they help us become better.

HOMEWORK:
-What is more difficult? Imagine yourself in moment of testing when you do something that is difficult for you. Why is this difficult?

— An introduction to the two minds.Describe two their opposing personalities in a moment of testing willpower. What does the impulsive hypostasis want? Why - wise?

— Track your volitional decisions.For at least one day, try to note to yourself every decision which you accept in connection with your test of willpower.

— Five-minute meditation to train your brain.Focus on breathing, saying to himself “ inhale" And " exhalation" When you start to wander into other thoughts, notice it and return to your breathing.

2. Willpower Instinct:
your body is born to resist cakes

The next time you are tempted, turn your attention inward.

Experiment: Breathe to Self-Control

There is one way to instantly increase willpower:Slow your breathing to 4-6 breaths per minute. Each breath will take 10 to 15 seconds: This is slower than usual, but not difficult with some practice and patience. By slowing your breathing, you activate the prefrontal cortex and increase heart rate variability, which helps shift your brain and body from a state of stress to self-control mode. After a few minutes, you will be at peace, in control of yourself, and able to cope with urges or temptations.

A miracle of self-control.Megan Oaten, a psychologist, and Ken Cheng, a biologist, from Macquarie University in Sydney recently completed testing a new treatment that increases self-control. And the data they received amazed them. They hoped for positive result, but no one expected how widespread the consequences would be. The guinea pigs were six men and 18 women aged from 18 to 50 years. After two months of treatment, they focused better and were less distracted. The periods of concentration reached 30 seconds, which is very commendable. But that was not all. The subjects smoked less and reduced their consumption of alcohol and caffeine - although no one asked them to do this. They ate less junk food and more healthy food. We spent less time watching TV and more time studying. We saved money and spent less on spontaneous purchases. Feeling in control of your emotions. They even put things off for later less often and were less late for meetings.

Good God, what is this wonderful medicine and who will write me a prescription?

The treatment was by no means pharmacological.Physical exercise worked wonders for self-control.

If you firmly believe that exercise is not for you, I advise you to expand your definition of exercise to include everything that brings pleasure and does not fit these statements:

1. You are sitting, standing or lying down.

2. At the same time, you eat junk food.

If you have found an activity that fits this definition, congratulations! This is your exercise for self-control. Anything outside of your typical sedentary lifestyle increases your willpower reserves.

Experiment: a five-minute ecological refueling of willpower. If you want to quickly refuel your willpower, the best thing to do is take a walk. Even five minutes of exercise in the fresh air reduces stress, improves mood and concentration, and increases self-control. Outdoor exercise is any physical activity outside the home and in the presence of Mother Nature. The best thing about such exercises is that they do not have to be long. A short warm-up is better for your mood than a long workout. You don't have to sweat or push yourself to the point of exhaustion. Lower-intensity exercise, such as walking, produces better immediate results than heavy exercise. Here are a few examples of what you can do for your five-minute environmental willpower boost:

Leave the office and go to the nearest park;

Turn on your favorite song in the player and walk or jog around the block;

Walk the dog and play with it (also run after the toy yourself);

Do some yard or garden work;

Go to Fresh air and do some simple exercises;

Run around with your kids in the backyard.

If you're telling yourself that you're too tired and don't have time to stretch, think of exercise as something that restores strength and willpower rather than depletes it.

Gain willpower in your sleep! Minor but chronic lack of sleep makes you more susceptible to stress, cravings and temptations.
If you know you could sleep more, but you find yourself staying up late every night, consider what do you say yes to instead of sleep. The same rule applies to any task that you avoid or put off - when you can’t find the strength to do something, try to find something that you don’t need to do.

This week, test the hypothesis that stress, whether physical or psychological, is the enemy of self-control. How do worries and overwork affect your decisions? Do hunger and fatigue deprive you of your will? What about physical pain and illness? What about emotions such as anger, loneliness or sadness? Notice when stress occurs during the day or week. Then track what happens with self-control. Do you give in to urges? Are you losing your temper? Do you put off urgent matters until later?

3. Tired and could not resist:
why self-control is like a muscle

Is your fatigue genuine?

As is often the case, we take advantage of the first hint of fatigue to sneak out of a workout, snap at our spouse, hang out some more, or order pizza instead of making a healthy dinner. Of course life demands drain our willpower, and striving for perfection in self-control is for fools. But perhaps you still don’t have as little willpower left as your first impulse to give up tries to convince you. The next time you feel “too tired” to control yourself, try going beyond the first feeling of tiredness. Just keep in mind that it is possible to overdo it - and if you constantly feel squeezed, consider whether you really are driving yourself to exhaustion.

What is your “I want” power?

When willpower is running low, find a second wind by finding your “I want” power. Consider the following motivations for your major will test:

What do you will you win by succeeding in the challenge?What will victory bring to you personally? Better health, happiness, freedom, financial security, success?

- Who else will win if you pass the challenge?Of course, other people depend on you and your decisions affect them. How does your behavior affect your family, friends, colleagues, subordinates or superiors, in your community? How will your success help them?

- Imagine that the test will become easier over time, but for now you need to be prepared for difficulties.

Imagine what your life will be like, how you will perceive yourself when you move forward in this test? Perhaps it is worth tolerating some inconveniences in the present if they are only a temporary obstacle on the path to success?

This week, notice when your will is strongest and when you are most likely to give in.

Self-control is like a muscle. He gets tired when he is exercised, but regular exercise makes him stronger.

4. Permission to Sin:
why are good people allowed to be bad?

When we turn tests of will into measures of moral value, good deeds give us the right to behave badly. To strengthen self-control, forget about virtue and focus on goals and values.

— Virtue and vice.Do you use your “good” behavior to allow yourself to do something “bad”?

— Are you taking a loan from tomorrow?Do you tell yourself that you will make up for today's behavior tomorrow? And if so, are you keeping your promise?

— Are you blinded by the halo?Do you find yourself justifying bad behavior by focusing on just one thing? positive quality phenomena (discounts, low-fat products, protection environment)?

— Who do you think you are?When you think about your will test, which part of you seems to be your “real self” - the one that wants to achieve a goal, or the one that needs to be reined in?

— To cancel permission, remember the reasons.Another time you find yourself using past good deeds to justify indulgences, stop and think about why you were “good” rather than why you deserve a reward.

— Tomorrow is the same as today.In your own test of will, try daily reduce the variability of your behavior.

5. The Greatest Brain Trick:
why do we mistake desire for happiness?

At its core, a desire is neither bad nor good - the main thing is where it leads us and whether we have the wisdom to recognize whether it is worth following.

Our brains confuse the promise of reward with the guarantee of happiness, and we seek pleasure in objects that do not provide it.

- What makes your dopaminergic neurons fire?What gives you the promise of reward and entices you to seek pleasure?

- Who controls your dopaminergic neurons?Take a closer look at how sellers are trying to scam you with the promise of a reward.

Stress of desire. Notice when desire causes stress and anxiety.

- Channel dopamine to test your “I will” strength.If you are putting off doing something because it is very unpleasant for you, try to motivate yourself to action by associating it with something that activates your dopaminergic. neurons.

- Check the reward promise.Mindfully indulge in an activity that your brain tells you will make you happy, but that never satiates you (for example, eating, shopping, sitting in front of the TV or surfing the Internet). Does reality live up to the brain's promises?

6. What the hell:
how repentance pushes us into temptation

Neuroscientists have proven that stress, as well as negative emotions: anger, sadness, uncertainty, anxiety, put the brain in reward-seeking mode. You end up wanting what your brain thinks promises a reward, and you are convinced that this “reward” is the only source of joy.

What do you do when you are stressed, anxious or sad? Are you more susceptible to temptation when you're upset? Are you more easily distracted or more likely to procrastinate? How do negative emotions affect your will test?

Most often, we decide to change when we are upset: we blame ourselves for overeating, dejectedly examine our credit card bill, wake up with a hangover, or worry about our health. We make a vow to ourselves, and we immediately feel better—we gain control. From a person who made a mistake, we turn into a completely different person.

Repentance pushes us into temptation. Don't blame yourself and you will be stronger.

- A promise of comfort.What do you do when you are stressed, anxious or sad?

What scares you? pay attention to the stress you get through the media, on the Internet and from other sources.

- When you admit oversight. You blame and criticize yourself for failure?

- Set yourself up for the good.You fantasize a lot about who you will be in the future to cheer yourself up in the present, but forget to fix it your behavior?

- Find a comforting strategy that helps.Next time try Relieve stress in a truly effective way: training or game types sports, pray or attend a religious service, read, listen to music, spend time with friends or family, get a massage, take a walk, meditate or do yoga, find a creative hobby.

- Forgive yourself when you make mistakes.Have compassion for yourself when you fail so that avoid feelings of guilt, which forces you to succumb to temptation again.

- Optimistic pessimism for successful decisions.Predict how and when you will be tempted to break your vow, and come up with a special plan of action to avoid giving in to temptation.

7. Future for sale:
instant gratification economy

Just hide temptations out of sight and they will stop occupying your thoughts.

YES, BUT AFTER 10 MINUTES
Make it a habit to wait 10 minutes before giving in to temptation. If after 10 minutes you still want it, go for it, but before it's up, remember future benefits that will come from refusing temptation. If possible, physically distance yourself from the temptation (or at least turn away).

If your will test requires the strength of “I will,” you can also use the 10-minute rule to avoid put off the matter until later. Change the wording to: " 10 minutes and then you can quit" When the 10 minutes are up, allow yourself to stop - but you may want to continue working once you get started.

We need to study our seduced selves, see their weaknesses, force them to act in line with rational decisions.

When we fail to see the future clearly, we give in to temptation and procrastinate.

— How do you discount future rewards?What future goods do you put up for sale whenever you are tempted or procrastinate?

— Are you looking forward to your future self?Do you have something that needs to be changed or done, but you put it off in hopes that a more willful future self will emerge?

— Aren't you too farsighted for your own good?Do you find it harder to pamper yourself than to resist temptation?

— Wait 10 minutes.Make it a habit to wait 10 minutes before giving in to temptation. Before they expire, remember the future benefits that will come from refusing temptation.

— Lower your discount percentage.When you are tempted to act against your long-term interests, rethink the situation: you are giving up the best future good for the sake of immediate pleasure.

— Establish pre-commitments for your future self.Create a new rule, make it more difficult for you to change decisions, train your future self with a carrot or a stick.

- Meet your future self. “Remember” the future, send messages to your future self, or simply imagine yourself in the future.

8. Contagious!
Why willpower is contagious

Emotional contagion. We've seen that mirror neurons respond to other people's pain, but they also respond to feelings. Therefore, a colleague’s bad mood can become yours too - and it will seem as if you need a drink! That's why television sitcoms use voice-over laughter - the authors hope that hearing others burst into laughter will make you laugh too. Automatic emotional contagion helps explain why researchers social networks Christakis and Fowler found that happiness and loneliness are transmitted through friends and relatives. How can this lead to a lack of willpower? When we hook negative emotion, then we try to cope with it in our own way— and that could lead us to a shopping spree or a candy bar.

this week look for traits of other people in your behavior- especially in what is connected with your test of will. Perhaps pampering together is exactly what your relationship is all about? Are you missing out when others around you are doing the same?

Research shows that it's surprisingly easy to pick up on another person's goal—and change your behavior.

Experiment: strengthen your immunity

The best way to strengthen your immune response to other people's actions is spend a few minutes at the beginning of the day thinking about your plans and about the temptations to change them.Like a vaccine that protects against germs, these thoughts will strengthen you in your aspirations and help you avoid becoming infected by someone else's target.

When we notice that others are flouting norms and following impulses, we are more likely to give in to any of our impulses. That is, every time we perceive bad behavior, our own self-control decreases ( bad news for fans of reality shows where there are three rules for high ratings: get drunk, get into a fight and sleep with someone else's guy). Having heard that someone is hiding their income, you will be more free with your diet. Seeing drivers speeding will inspire you to spend extra. In this way, we can pick up on weaknesses from others—even if our personal weaknesses are different from those we observe. The main thing is that we don't even need to see people in action. Like a microbe that stays on door handle, which the patient grabbed, the goal can pass to us simply through evidence of other people's actions.

Experiment: Pick Up Self-Control

Research shows that thinking about a strong-willed person can strengthen your grit. Is there anyone who can serve as an example for you in your trial? Did he experience the same thing and win, or is he simply an example of remarkable willpower? In my classes, the most common role model name was famous athletes, spiritual leaders and politicians, although relatives and friends can inspire even more, as we will see a little later. When you lack willpower, remember your hero. Ask yourself: what would he do?

But mom, everyone does it!

Social proof can get in the way of our correction if we believe that everyone is doing what we are trying to avoid. Have you ever told yourself that your weakness is not a problem because it is normal? Do you think of people who share this habit with you? If so, you may want to reconsider your views. It is best to find friends among those who have already achieved what you are striving for. Look for a new "tribe". Perhaps it would be a support group, a class, a local club, an online community, even a subscription to a magazine that promotes your values. Surround yourself with people who share your goals so that you feel like they are the norm.

For pride to work, we need to believe that others are looking up to us or that we will have the opportunity to communicate our successes. According to the results marketing research, people are much more likely to buy green products in public rather than alone. Green shopping is a way to show people how altruistic and caring we are, we want to get social credit for our dedication. If no increase in status is expected, most prefer to refuse the opportunity to save the tree. This research suggests a useful strategy for keeping your word: take your will tests to people. If you believe that others care about you and are watching your progress, you will be more motivated to do the right thing.

Experiment: The Power of Pride

Capitalize on the basic human need for approval by imagining yourself soaring when you conquer a challenge of will. Think of someone in your tribe—a relative, a friend, a colleague, a teacher—whose opinion is important to you or who will be happy for your success. When you make a decision you're proud of, share it with your tribe by updating your status on Facebook, tweeting it on Twitter, or—since there are Luddites among us—talking about it in person.

Whenever we feel rejected or disrespected, we are at greater risk of giving in to our worst impulses.

Our own actions influence the actions of countless people, and every decision we make for ourselves inspires or tempts them.

— Accept your urges, but don't act on them.When attraction strikes, acknowledge it and don't immediately try to distract yourself or challenge it. Your goal is to persist.

- Slide. When an impulse comes over you, explore the physical sensations, ride them like a surfer on a wave: do not drive this desire away from yourself, but do not be guided by it.

10. Final thoughts

If there is some secret of great hardening, science points exclusively to the power of attention. You are aware when you make a choice and don't act on autopilot. You notice when you allow yourself to procrastinate and how your good behavior justifies overindulgence. You realize that the promise of a reward isn't always fun, and your future self isn't a superhero or a stranger. You track what in your world—from store bait to social proof—influences your behavior. You don’t fuss, but catch your impulses when you want to get distracted or give in to them. You remember what you really want and know what actually makes you feel better. Self-awareness is the “me” you can always rely on to help you do what is difficult and especially important. And this best definition willpower that I can think of.

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