Collected in 9 days. Funeral home "Grail"

The value of any life largely correlates with the fact that it ends sooner or later. According to Orthodox tradition, after the funeral, the soul of the deceased awaits a transition to another world. It is believed that the future fate of a person depends not only on the acts he committed during his lifetime, but also on how his relatives and friends remember him. The 9th and 40th days after death are of particular importance for the self-determination of the soul in the afterlife. So how should they be celebrated?

General rules for funerals

Orthodox Christians organize funerals to pay tribute to a deceased relative. People remember the good deeds done by a person during his lifetime, celebrate him positive traits. At a wake, you should never make a scandal, argue or quarrel. Negative emotions relatives and friends, as they say, can complicate the path of the soul of the deceased to a better world.

For the same reason, sobs, despair and loud regrets about the departure of a loved one are inappropriate. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered an inevitable and natural outcome of life; it is not a tragedy at all. Believers believe that to a good person There is no need to be afraid of God's judgment. Therefore, at a wake it is customary to behave calmly, restrainedly and kindly.

A joint meal brings together relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased. It is not allowed to send out invitations to funerals. It is believed that everyone to whom this is important should inquire about the place and time of this event themselves. But it is not forbidden to casually mention in a conversation about the worries about organizing funeral meal occupied by relatives. This will tell the person that he should come if he himself considers it necessary to attend this event.

Despite Russian table traditions, Orthodox funerals do not involve the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Although this rule is often violated, because the popular ideas about a worthy send-off of the deceased to another world in this matter do not coincide with religious canons. But in any case, the wake should not turn into a banal drinking session, because this is a sacred event, and not a reason for fun and dancing.

As a rule, it is customary to dress modestly at a wake, in dark-colored clothing. Scarves are required for women. If the deceased was an elderly person, then the relatives of the deceased mourn for 40 days from the moment of his death. Young people who tragically passed away - husbands, wives, children - are mourned for up to 1 year, all this time adhering to dark tones in clothing.

9 days - the ordeal of the soul begins

According to religious canons, on the ninth day after death, the so-called ordeal of the soul begins, when it overcomes various obstacles created by sins. Angels help the deceased in this. As a result, the good deeds a person has done during his lifetime must outweigh his bad deeds.

The funeral, organized on the 9th day, is designed to help the soul of the deceased overcome all obstacles on the way to eternal life. Therefore, on this date, relatives order a funeral prayer service in the church, light candles in front of the icons and read prayers so that the Almighty will accept the soul of the deceased into His Kingdom. And in the house you can light a lamp in memory of the departed person.

On this day, relatives and everyone who feels the need to visit the grave and bring flowers there. It is believed that for a person whose soul has begun the stage of repentance and cleansing from sins, it is important how the living remember him and whether they pray for him.

An obligatory dish during a funeral meal is kutia. This is porridge, which is prepared from whole wheat grains (less often from barley, rice or other cereals) with the addition of nuts, raisins or other sweets, the dish is poured with honey or honey syrup. As a rule, kutya is served at the very beginning of the wake.

The list of treats offered to guests on day 9 varies depending on the region of Russia. But there are also general points. Immediately after kutya, the first course is served - soup or cabbage soup. The second can be meat or lean, it all depends on what time the commemoration occurred. In addition, fish dishes and jelly are often on the table. And the meal ends with pancakes or pancakes.

Drinks that are traditionally drunk at funerals include compote, kvass and jelly. The owners can also prepare various porridges, pies, cabbage rolls, stuffed peppers, and vegetable salads. In addition, there are usually apples and other fruits on the table.

On the 9th day after the death of a relative, it is customary to give alms to people in churches and cemeteries with a request to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Treats left over from the wake are also distributed.

40 days - final goodbye

A very important milestone in saying goodbye to the deceased is 40 days after his death. It is at this time that the human soul is believed to finally leave our mortal world. For Orthodox Christians, this is a significant date that separates earthly life from eternal life.

After 40 days, the soul can visit places important to it for the last time, see relatives and friends, and then in Heaven the final decision is made on the future fate of the deceased. Therefore, these commemorations are very important, because the kind words spoken by people about the deceased will certainly be taken into account by the High Court.

On this day, you should definitely order a funeral service in the church and pray for the soul of the deceased. During the funeral meal, it is forbidden not only to consume alcoholic drinks, but also sing songs and have fun. The meal, as a rule, differs little from the 9-day funeral, except that instead of the first course, a variety of salads are served. Kutya and rich pancakes or pancakes are obligatory dishes of this meal.

At the table for 40 days, it is customary to remember not only the deceased, but also other relatives who have left the world of the living in the foreseeable past. Guests take turns delivering funeral speeches. And the person who is given the floor must stand up. Then the deceased should be honored with a minute of silence.

For 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to those who need them. At the same time, people are asked to remember the deceased kind words. Relatives keep only photographs and other items valuable as a memory of dear person. If no one took one of the deceased’s things, then it should not be thrown away, but should be taken to a temple or given to charity.

The value of any life largely correlates with the fact that it ends sooner or later. According to Orthodox tradition, after the funeral the soul of the deceased awaits a transition to another world. It is believed that the future fate of a person depends not only on the acts he committed during his lifetime, but also on how his relatives and friends remember him. The 9th and 40th days after death are of particular importance for the self-determination of the soul in the afterlife. So how should they be celebrated?

General rules for funerals

Orthodox Christians organize funerals to pay tribute to a deceased relative. People remember the good deeds a person did during his lifetime and note his positive qualities. At a wake, you should never make a scandal, argue or quarrel. Negative emotions of relatives and friends, as they say, can complicate the path of the soul of the deceased to a better world.

For the same reason, sobs, despair and loud regrets about the departure of a loved one are inappropriate. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered an inevitable and natural outcome of life; it is not a tragedy at all. Believers believe that a good person should not fear God's judgment. Therefore, at a wake it is customary to behave calmly, restrainedly and kindly.

A joint meal brings together relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased. It is not allowed to send out invitations to funerals. It is believed that everyone to whom this is important should inquire about the place and time of this event themselves. But it is not forbidden to casually mention in a conversation the efforts that relatives are busy with regarding the organization of a funeral meal. This will tell the person that he should come if he himself considers it necessary to attend this event.

9 days - the ordeal of the soul begins

The funeral, organized on the 9th day, is designed to help the soul of the deceased overcome all obstacles on the path to eternal life. Therefore, on this date, relatives order a funeral prayer service in the church, light candles in front of the icons and read prayers so that the Almighty will accept the soul of the deceased into His Kingdom. And in the house you can light a lamp in memory of the departed person.

40 days - final goodbye

On this day, you should definitely order a funeral service in the church and pray for the soul of the deceased. During the funeral meal, it is prohibited not only to drink alcoholic beverages, but also to sing songs and have fun. The meal, as a rule, differs little from the 9-day funeral, except that instead of the first course, a variety of salads are served. Kutya and rich pancakes or pancakes are obligatory dishes of this meal.

For 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to those who need them. At the same time, people are asked to remember the deceased with a kind word. Relatives keep only photographs and other items that are valuable as a memory of a loved one. If no one took one of the deceased’s things, then it should not be thrown away, but should be taken to a temple or given to charity.

In Orthodoxy, 40 days from the date of death is a very significant date. It is at the end of this time that the soul of the deceased will receive the final decision where it will reside - in heaven or hell. If the soul of the deceased cannot independently improve its situation, then relatives should help with this. This article will discuss how to correctly calculate 9 and 40 days from the date of death in Orthodoxy. The priests will give answers to these exciting questions.

What are 9 and 40 days from the date of death?

According to Christian customs, the 3rd day, 9th day and 40th day after death are very important. But still, the 40th day is of great importance, since this is the very line when the fate of the human soul is decided. The church says that this is the so-called point of no return for the soul. Some people argue that the 40th day after death is more tragic than the funeral itself.

But it's still worth going back a little. On the third day after death, the soul goes to worship God. After which, for 6 days, the angels demonstrate to the soul of the deceased the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day after worshiping God, she is taken to hell, where for 30 days they demonstrate different rooms and places where sinners are tormented.

How to remember the deceased on the 9th day?

As a rule, a funeral dinner on this day should include a glass of water with a slice of bread on it. Relatives should also order a prayer service in the church and light candles for the repose of the soul. Usually only close relatives and relatives are gathered at the table, but it is not forbidden to invite friends of the deceased.

Women at the table must wear black headscarves. If we talk about dishes on the 9th day after death, then there must be kutia, compote and any porridge on the table. You can put the deceased’s favorite treats on a separate plate as a sign of respect. Any alcohol on the table on this date is strictly prohibited.

How to remember the deceased on the 40th day?

First of all, you need to pray To higher powers to persuade them to give the deceased a place in heaven. In addition, you can atone for some of your sins. Also, in order to save the soul of the deceased, you can temporarily refuse bad habits. The process of commemoration itself will be important on this day. All those present at the table must be Orthodox believers. There is no need to perceive a wake as just another family feast where you can talk about pressing problems.

The Church talks about a categorical ban on drinking alcohol at funerals. In addition, it is prohibited to sing songs or show any signs of fun. Unfortunately, many Orthodox Christians know little about this, and even fewer adhere to church traditions.

How to count 9 and 40 days after death?

Some people do not know how to correctly count 9 and 40 days after death. In order not to make a mistake, we learned the details from the priest. According to the clergyman, the day of death must also be taken into account when making such calculations. For example, if a person died on October 31, then day 9 is November 8. The same applies to 40 days. In our case, it will be December 9.

A wake is an important ritual for all people, regardless of religion. In Orthodoxy, it is customary to remember the deceased on the day of the funeral, as well as on the ninth and fortieth days. The countdown starts from the day of death. Even if a person died closer to midnight, they still count from that day.

For example, the day of death falls on the fifth of April, then the nine-day commemoration will take place on the thirteenth of April, and the forty-day commemoration will take place on the fourteenth of May. Be sure to do them every day.

The question arises: why nine days? According to the number of angels who ask the Lord God to forgive the deceased his sins. In Orthodoxy it is believed that the first two days after death the soul is separated from the body. Together with the angels, she walks the earth, visiting close people and places dear to her. On the third day, relief comes, which is given by the angel, since the psalter is read all three days, and everyone prays for the soul of the deceased.

The soul ascends to the Lord for worship. Then, until the ninth day, the angels show the beauties of paradise. On the ninth day the soul again ascends to the Lord for worship. Then she is sent to hell, where she remains until the fortieth day. It is also believed that during this period all the good deeds and all the sins that the deceased committed during his lifetime are remembered. Relatives and friends pray for the soul to withstand all trials and for the forgiveness of sins.

On this day, relatives should visit the temple, order a service, light candles and pray. Candles are placed on a special memorial table - eve. It stands on the north side, near the crucifixion of Christ. It is important to remember that candles are not lit for repose on Holy Week.

On the memorial day, you can order a memorial service, prayer service or lithium. It is necessary to go to the cemetery, remember the person and lay flowers. Under no circumstances should you have a meal in a cemetery, much less drink alcoholic beverages. All family and friends should know that no one is invited to the wake. Those who remember come, who want to pray for the deceased on this day.

Kutya must be placed on the table. This funeral dish is a porridge made from wheat, barley or rice, with the addition of honey, raisins, and nuts. Kutya, if desired, can be consecrated in the temple.

Many people, when organizing a funeral, are only concerned with the amount of food so that everyone is full. You should not place any culinary delights on the table. Dishes should be easy to prepare. First, second, no appetizers or salads. Drinks are required, but not alcohol. Baked goods and sweets are allowed.

You must behave modestly; laughter, jokes, songs and any fun are excluded. Do not forget that family members are in mourning. You cannot speak badly about the deceased, or talk about personal topics.

The meal begins with prayer. It is advisable that everyone pray for the deceased, otherwise there is no point in coming. People do not go to a wake to eat or discuss the latest worldly news: one should respect the grief of relatives.

Appearance

There are certain requirements for appearance. Men come in strict dark suits, with their heads uncovered. Women in modest dresses, with headscarves on their heads. At the table you can talk about the deceased, about his past successes and merits, and remember pleasant moments. A calm, peaceful atmosphere in the house will have a beneficial effect on everyone present.

People don't always have the opportunity to organize a funeral. In this case, you can simply treat your neighbors, friends, employees at work, and children. To do this, just bake a cake or cookies, buy candy and other sweets. This way you can remember the deceased on any day.

IN Lent The funeral is being postponed until the weekend. If you want to bring flowers, you need to leave them at the grave.

On memorial day, it is important to give alms to people in need. At the end of the meal, the remaining food must be distributed. It is strictly forbidden to throw away food. It is advisable to remember this during the cooking process.

The ninth day of remembrance is not a formal event. According to Orthodox canons, namely prayers in memorial days help the soul find eternal peace. Everyone who goes to a funeral should remember this.

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In Orthodoxy, it is customary to hold funeral services for 9 days, the rules of which are slightly different from others memorial dates. Relatives of a deceased person often doubt the correctness of their actions. That is why they are interested in both the order itself and other nuances (what words can be pronounced, how to spend this day).

The meaning of a wake

The ninth day is a kind of starting point and indicates that a person has been in the afterlife for a week. On this day, it is necessary to remember the deceased person. Close people of the deceased in their prayers should turn to the nine orders of angels, who ask the Lord for forgiveness of sins committed by a person during his lifetime. Exactly on day 9 human soul begins to go through ordeals. A person is shown his whole life, good deeds and evil deeds.

This continues until the 40th day, when the soul of a person appears before God. At God's judgment, the final decision is made about where a person's soul will go - to hell or heaven. To make it easier for a person, relatives must certainly pray for the salvation of his soul.

It is important not only to have a funeral dinner, but also to visit the church and the place where the burial took place.

How to count day 9

Many people have a question about how to correctly count the 9th day. Confusion arises in a number of cases:

relatives count not from the day of death, but from when the burial took place;
if a person died at night.

According to church canons, the countdown begins from the day of death. If a person dies before 12 o'clock at night, then the first day begins at 00:00. For example, a person dies on the 10th. The mathematical calculation 10+9=19 is not entirely correct. That is, the commemoration should be done not on the 19th, but on the 18th. Even if for some reason the person has not yet been buried (for example, his body has not been found or is in the morgue), he still needs to be remembered. If a person was not baptized during his lifetime, then he should not be commemorated in church. But it is still necessary to observe the days of commemoration. On day 9, you can treat your loved ones, do some good deed and ask God for mercy on the soul of the deceased. If it so happens that a person has to be buried on the 9th day, then this can only mean one thing - the deceased should be seen off according to the usual rules. On this day you need to pray fervently and make a speech about the good deeds of a person. Despite the late burial of the body, his soul has long been in heaven.

Rules

Many people ask questions about how to conduct a dinner, how to remember the deceased, how to behave at a wake, what kind of speech is appropriate. Funeral services for 9 days after death must be carried out according to certain rules. In the morning, close relatives of the deceased must visit the temple, light candles there for the repose of the soul and order special service- memorial service. In the house of the deceased, you need to put a glass of water and put a piece of rye bread on it.

In memory of the deceased, you can light a lamp or candle.

Be sure to visit a person’s grave on this day. There you can remove wilted flowers that were left after the funeral. You can talk in the cemetery Nice words about the deceased, pray and mentally ask for his forgiveness. These actions greatly alleviate the torment that a person’s soul experiences when going through ordeals. You should not eat or drink at the grave. After the cemetery you need to return home or to where the funeral dinner will be held.

Everything should be organized in calm atmosphere. The heads of women present at the funeral dinner must be covered with scarves. It is recommended to behave modestly at the table. Don't forget that people didn't just gather to have lunch. Before a meal, be sure to read a prayer, for example, “Our Father.” Those present need to mentally ask God to forgive the soul of the deceased. Those who wish can speak about the person being commemorated and make a speech. For a wake for 9 days, a poem about the deceased would also be appropriate. In no case should the speech denigrate the memory of the deceased. It is permissible to read a poem or prayer at the funeral.

The speech should be delivered without any feeling of delight.

Menu for funerals and alms

Everyone knows that a funeral dinner for nine days must be done. But very often relatives cannot decide on the choice of dishes. Before you cook dinner, you need to count approximate quantity invited people. Kutya must be present on the table. Orthodox Christians attach special significance to this dish, since kutia is a symbol of eternal life. For main course, you can prepare cabbage soup from fresh cabbage, borscht or chicken noodles. For the second course - cabbage rolls or cutlets with a side dish.

For dessert, baked goods or gingerbread are suitable.

For drinks, you can put dried fruit compote or jelly on the table. The Church frowns upon the consumption of alcoholic beverages during funeral dinners. However, scientists have proven that a small dose of alcohol significantly alleviates the depressed state of mind of the relatives of the deceased. Therefore, alcohol is acceptable in small quantities. For a wake, it is better to choose strong drinks - cognac or vodka. You can put a bottle of Cahors on the table. Champagne and sparkling wines should be excluded.

On the day of remembrance of a deceased person, it is customary to give alms. You can do this in church or treat your friends to something tasty. It's best to take the food to Orphanage or a shelter for homeless people. Those who accept alms, instead of the usual “thank you,” must say the following words: “The kingdom of heaven to the servant of God (the name of the deceased at baptism).” Alms should never be thrown away. The food that is distributed as a funeral service must be eaten after praying for the soul of the deceased.