What is human psychology based on behavior and gestures? How to understand what his mood is, does he want to communicate, is he lying in conversation? You can determine a person’s psychological mood not only by what he says, but also by how he does it.

Sometimes nonverbal communication matters more than spoken language. Internal state a person can transmit the entire body. Some people actively use facial expressions, others constantly gesticulate. The most important indicators will be gait, posture, handshake, facial expressions and gestures.

Gait

The gait of a self-confident person can always be distinguished from the gait of a preoccupied or tense person. Signs of confidence:

• Straightened shoulders;
• Big steps;
• Raised chin;
• "Chest with a wheel."

Unconfident or fearful people usually look at their feet, do not swing their arms when walking, and their steps are more like a shuffle. Quick, light steps speak of a person’s determination and impetuosity. It is clear that he has specific goal, something forces you to act. Slow and hesitant steps indicate timidity. But slowness is not always associated with uncertainty: perhaps a person is simply in no hurry or even wants to show off.

By a completely relaxed gait, you can determine that a person is this moment is experiencing serious problems, perhaps a crisis, also such a gait betrays laziness and depression. The heaviness of a gait reflects a person’s power, a desire to subjugate, and sometimes delusions of grandeur. A jumping gait indicates a positive mood, or in this way a person is trying to hide something unpleasant in his soul.

Posture

Posture also characterizes a lot. Slouching, drooping shoulders, hunched back - all this betrays weakness, uncertainty, and the position of a “victim”. Straight posture not only speaks of vigor and self-confidence (they also say “royal posture”), but also inspires action. Try standing up and walking with a straight back - and you will immediately feel different.

Handshake

The handshake can also be different. Someone shakes hands firmly, decisively - this speaks of an openness, assertive character. Most often found among managers. A limp handshake characterizes a rather weak-willed, lazy person without initiative. If a person seems to bend your palm down when shaking hands, then this is a tough, domineering person.

Facial expressions

Facial expressions can tell a lot. Here are examples of how facial expressions show a person’s basic feelings and experiences:

• Happiness – small wrinkles around the eyes, raised cheeks;
• Anger - eyebrows are lowered and brought together, the mouth is closed, the lips are narrowed;
• Surprise - eyebrows raised, mouth and eyes slightly open;
• Sadness - the eyelids and corners of the mouth are drooping.

The look also reflects the inner mood. A gaze can be characterized as a desire to dominate, a lowered gaze - shame or a lie, a side glance - distrust. If a person glances from one object to another, he is bored. By a narrowed gaze one can guess about cunning, and from closed eyes - about fatigue, indifference.

Lips are responsible for feelings. Relaxed lips characterize a calm state and pleasure. Pursed lips indicate restraint and mistrust. A protruding lower lip indicates capriciousness, like in children, playing in public.

You can pay attention to right- and left-sided facial expressions. More developed facial expressions on the right side of the face indicate dominance logical thinking, the left side of the face is responsible for the expression of emotions.

Gestures, what they can tell

There are a huge variety of gestures, and each one denotes some kind of emotion:

• If a person’s palms are open towards the interlocutor, this characterizes trust and frankness.
• Clenched palms indicate excitement and hidden aggressiveness.
• A person constantly touches something, squeezes something in his hands, which means he is nervous and embarrassed.
• If a person tries to lean against something, then he does not have enough strength to get out of the current situation. It's difficult for him.
• Touching the eyelid can be interpreted as a lie or suspicion of the interlocutor of a lie.
• Pulling your shoulders back indicates activity; drooping shoulders indicates depression.
• The person tilts his head to the side - he is interested in you or the conversation.

Knowing body language and gestures can tell a lot about a person and his emotions. However, we should not forget that the same gesture can characterize different people in different ways, and manifestations of facial expressions can have a variety of reasons. In addition, it is important to understand what state a person is in. For example, a person under stress behaves completely differently than when ordinary life. Therefore, it is necessary to monitor several details in behavior and gestures at once in order to build a clear picture psychological portrait person.

Interesting video:

By receiving knowledge about the world around us, we also convey information about ourselves, our knowledge, value system, mood, state of health, etc. The way a person perceives and thinks about himself and the world determines his behavior. Behavior is our every slightest step, gesture, grimace, posture, glance, every sound we make.

Our body can outwit us and, without our knowledge, send many other signals indicating our true well-being and emotions. Even when we don't say anything, we send numerous signals to the recipient. Facial expressions (smiling), gestures (tapping fingers on the table), movements and body positions (bow and posture), as well as sounds that are not part of the language system (coughing or whistling). We call this behavior syndrome nonverbal. In communication, we use almost three thousand body symbols. Some ideas would not be adequately illustrated if it were not for the help of gestures. Some niche gestures are unconscious, but they are meaningful.

Body position

• A body slightly tilted forward, straight shoulders, a raised head, a smile and a direct gaze indicate a positive disposition of the interlocutor.
• Hands in pockets, arms crossed or hidden behind the back, pursed lips or a fake smile, tension in the body, hard and too intense eye contact are negative.

Hands

• Crossing your arms in front of you may indicate a desire to build a protective barrier.
• Clenched fists signal that something has angered you and caused aggression.
• Hands folded like a house, forming a spire, speak of confidence and dominance.
• Hands placed on the chest indicate honesty.

Sight

It is worth observing the eyes of your interlocutor. Changes in pupils can be an important signal for us. The eyes don't lie. The pupils react to changes in emotions, even if we try to control them. So, with joy and happiness, the pupils dilate, and with anger, irritation and hatred, they narrow.

Regardless of us, our eyes receive and send signals that enhance or weaken the effect of what we say or hear.

• Lack of eye contact can indicate a negative attitude.
• A shifting gaze may mean that the interlocutor is confused or lying.
• Emotional states are easy to understand by other signs.
• Anxiety can be conveyed by: impatience in movements, coughing, frequent blinking of the eyes.
• Disagreement or anger - tilting the body back, pointing the finger, or having a stern or blank expression.
• Dishonesty – touching your nose during a conversation, covering your mouth, averting your eyes.
• The desire to end the conversation can be read when the interlocutor glances at the clock or at the door, starts looking at documents or playing with objects on the table.

When interpreting a person's body language, it is important to take into account his individuality whenever possible, social factors, speech behavior, and environment.

There is no one size fits all. What is true for one person may not always be true for another. It is always not a single gesture that should be interpreted, but a group of gestures. One gesture does not convey a clear message. The context in which the behavior occurs is also important. Someone crosses their arms over their chest out of cold or out of habit and this is not evidence of a closed posture, but someone squints their eyes because poor eyesight, and not because of mistrust and hostility.

Knowledge of the laws of human consciousness allows us not only to predict people’s actions in certain situations, but also to program their actions. In our article we will tell you how predictable the psychology of human behavior is, and how to get the desired reaction from others.

Techniques to help you get the right reaction from others

Without noticing it, in most cases we act according to a given program. We respond to screams with shouts, eat our excitement with flour and sweets, and stew when we are reprimanded for our misdeeds. However, psychologists assure: atypical behavior in typical situations produces amazing results. Here are some techniques that allow you to control the actions of other people.

Behavior is a mirror in which everyone shows their face. Johann Wolfgang Goethe

How to force someone to tell the truth?

Do you feel that your interlocutor is lying or not telling something? You shouldn’t ask him again and try to catch him with inaccuracies. Just look him closely in the eyes, and nine times out of ten the deceiver will come clean.

What can be opposed to screamers and quarrelsome people?

Many of us have encountered troublemakers who are trying to prove they are right, foaming at the mouth, and splashing out a lot of negativity on others. By getting into an argument with such a person and talking to him in a raised voice, you will only fuel his anger.

Therefore, when people shout at you, for example, in a vehicle or on the street, it is better to remain completely calm, remaining unperturbed, and in a couple of minutes the fervor of the screamer, who has not found an answer from you, will fade away. This is the psychology of human behavior: the intensity of emotions without external input becomes less.

Are you worried? Chew gum

It’s not for nothing that a person starts eating a lot when he’s worried. Thus, psychologists believe, he “extinguishes” the experience by being distracted by actions that bring pleasure from eating food. If you feel nervous, chew gum. It calms and instills a feeling of confidence without adding extra pounds, unlike chocolate and donuts.

A way to cope with psychological pressure

Teachers at school, boss at work, and ordinary acquaintances trying to get some concessions from you can put pressure on your psyche. In such cases, the main thing is to make it clear that you are friendly, but are ready to talk only on equal terms.

Smile, be friendly and polite, but stand your ground. If you lose your temper, give in or try to show aggression, they will run over you with a tank.

How to get people to be polite?

Those who work with people often deal with bitterness, arrogance and rudeness. Experienced managers in such cases use a simple but effective technique: they place a mirror behind them so that the visitor sees their reflection in it.

The psychology of human behavior is such that he always wants to present himself in a favorable light. Therefore, people, observing their evil reflection in the mirror, change their behavior tactics, becoming more correct and polite.

Psychology of Human Behavior: Little-Known Secrets

Knowing the laws of human psychology, you can make them work for you. We will reveal some secrets that will help you learn to “read” people and even control their actions.

Do you know in what state it is easiest to provoke a person to openness and force him to tell the truth? When he's tired. Physical fatigue makes you lose your vigilance and say “unnecessarily.”

A hug that lasts more than 20 seconds can radically change the way someone treats you. Psychologists say: during this time, the body begins to produce substances that stimulate the emergence of trust and affection. But be careful: not all people react to violations of personal space in this way.

Communication skills are an excellent quality. But regularly interacting with more than 150 people causes brain overload. Conclusion: quantity does not always translate into quality.

Most often, people around them are intimidated by complex people with low self-esteem - this is how they assert themselves. A self-sufficient person will not “pressure” or humiliate anyone. Therefore, when you meet a “walking complex,” do not succumb to his provocations, do not conflict, and do not take his remarks and comments to heart.

What other secrets does the psychology of human behavior hide, watch in the video:

Most people completely underestimate the role of gestures and facial expressions in communication, paying more attention to words. However, based on nonverbal cues, the first impression of the interlocutor is created. It is subsequently remembered for a very long time.

Fanatics are colorful, and it is more pleasant for humanity to see gestures,
rather than listen to arguments.
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Gestures as a non-verbal means of communication

The actions and various gestures with which we accompany our speech make a significant contribution to our performance.

They help or, conversely, distract listeners from the conversation. Even the complete absence of gestures also carries certain information.

In any case, nonverbal speech can reveal a lot about us as speakers.

Handshake

By paying attention to the actions and behaviors that people do unconsciously, you can learn a lot about them. For example, handshake.

When performing this action, a person does not think about how exactly he does it. Very often this results in an incorrect handshake.

• If it insecure and lethargic, then this will certainly cause the interlocutor to think that you are not the authority here.
  Also, don't overdo it squeezing the interlocutor’s hand, as if with pincers. Such a gesture can be perceived as desire to impose one's will.

Uncontrolled touching

There are various gestures that are not controlled by consciousness, such as fidgeting in the chair, touching the face, hair.

They indicate your excitement and even cunning.

• When woman straightening her hair, this is perceived as sexy gesture, symbolizing “preening.”
  All sorts of touching the forehead, nose, mouth in sign language is regarded as not true. Unconsciously, you are trying to neutralize the lies you are telling, thereby trying to shut your own mouth.

Why gestures need to be recognized

All people lie from time to time. This is why the ability to decipher actions that are not controlled by consciousness is so important.

Unconscious gestures and body movements can give away a deceiver. Many psychologists are convinced that a liar can always be recognized, no matter how hard he tries to hide his lie. He will be betrayed by the inconsistency between what he says and what he does.

Hands tell us everything about the interlocutor

It's worth paying attention to symmetry:

• When a person gestures with one hand, looks it's unnatural. Therefore, it is necessary to use both hands alternately or equally.
  Crossing arms during a conversation, makes your interlocutors think that you demonstrate your skepticism or don’t believe your own words.

Video: Interesting facts about gestures. Sign language

Posture

Posture can tell you a lot:

• Situlykh, hunched over people always mistaken for lacking self-confidence or apathetic. Such people are considered nervous or unhealthy.

Watch

Constantly Looking at your watch can make your interlocutor angry. This gesture needs to be done as unnoticeably as possible or even from him refuse.

The role of body language and facial expressions in nonverbal communication

Sign language is necessary not only for communication. It helps you change your own approach to many things. Since the expressiveness of sign language is quite high, it should be used extremely carefully.

Elements nonverbal communication are polysemantic, therefore, and they need to be interpreted only based on the context of a certain situation.

However, one cannot unconditionally trust solely unconscious behavior. It is necessary to perceive information in a complex way, combining non-verbal information with verbal information. Having already certain knowledge about specific human gestures, you can only build on them.

It is necessary to develop observation skills, since it helps to collect as much information as possible about the people with whom you have to communicate.

Listening skills - great skill. The intonation and sound of the voice are no less important than the meaning of the words themselves.

Let's take care of ourselves

You also need to pay attention to your own unconscious actions.

Noticing the signals coming from us, we need to note our reaction to what is happening, remember the change in voice, body position, and gestures.

It is necessary to take into account the internal signals that we feel. These include nervous tremors, which indicate excitement or, for example, headache warning about stress.

Conclusion

Body language is used both to explain people's behavior and to achieve success in life. By learning to correctly interpret various actions and actions, you can help both yourself and others.

After all if you correctly decipher unconscious signals that come to us from other people, you can understand their hidden motives.

By using calm questions, refrain from raising your voice or making arrogant remarks: this makes people defensive and more brash.

This method is similar to a small exam, the purpose of which is to find out what exactly irritates a person. Adhering to a thorough, non-aggressive tone, you will notice how surprisingly the toxic behavior of the Trample in the dirt changes, how he becomes calmer, softer, how he smiles when he manages to get to the bottom of the truth.

Most often, people put you down when you have something they don't have, or when your behavior offends them in some way. In most cases, they feel uncomfortable around you. Therefore, a compassionate approach that will make it easier for you to communicate with them is no less successful.

When communicating with a Chatterbox, a way to relieve tension is indispensable. It will help you keep your cool. Try the method of substituted fantasy. Chatterboxes should know that their endless chatter is usually inappropriate, so the method of open protest will also be effective. It is best to resort to it without outside witnesses, because the Chatterbox will have to save the situation in order to maintain his dignity.

You can start by kindly and gently assuring Chatterbox how much you love him (if that is the case), but that sometimes he talks too much about things that are not interesting to everyone. Teach Chatterbox to look closely at the facial expressions and postures of others to understand their level of interest. At first, Chatterbox may be shocked, and this will cause him to react defensively. If so, you'll have to be more forthcoming and give examples of his tiresome chatter. But do not forget to assure that you still understand and love him.

Invite him to remember that a certain gesture - raising his eyebrows, touching - can serve as a signal for him to turn the conversation around. Often defensive reactions and fear are caused by the inability to master basic communication skills and understand the facial and body language of others.

If the Chatterbox is impenetrable or continues to use your time and energy, you should be firm, using the method of open protest, and not allow him to cross the boundaries of what is permitted.

Self-Destructor

People who are filled with contempt and self-hatred most need to apply the method of love and kindness. You need to talk to them as gently as possible, otherwise they will never stop behaving in the way they are accustomed to. Self-destructors do not require food, alcohol, cigarettes or sex. They are hungry for love and attention.

There are times when you can't sit back and watch people torment themselves. In this case, only a retreat method can help. After you have tried everything and honestly admitted to your loved one that you know about his problem and are ready to help him - and all in vain! - There is nothing left to do but retreat and let him get out of trouble on his own. You can never help a Self-Destructor until he is willing to help himself.

Trouble Avoider

If you want to communicate with an Avoider, first try to catch him, preferably before he runs away. The first thing to do with him is the method of open protest. Don't think that this will hurt him, it's not your concern. On the contrary, tell him that you think about his habit of running away from difficulties, that you are tired of it and that he must solve this problem.

Typically, the Trouble Avoider is not one to argue, so when you complain, they tend to listen and act. Of course, he can escape, as usual, by fleeing if he cannot digest what he heard from you.

If you sort things out with a Trouble Avoider and he still runs away, don't regret starting a fight, because now at least you know who is wrong. Just remember that if a person runs away, he doesn't care about you.

Dormant but deadly volcano

Gossip

Gossips are extremely dangerous because they can turn your life into a nightmare. The only thing that can stop a gossip is that you know very well who he is and what he is trying to do. Use the method of open protest and explain that such behavior is inappropriate - especially if they are gossiping about you. If a gossiper is gossiping about someone you know or are friends with, calm him down by saying, “I’m not going to listen to this,” or “I don’t believe a word you say,” or “I’m not interested.”

Try to make sure that in your professional life There was no place for Gossips, because they could ruin your career.

Fatal fighter

All the Fatal Fighter needs is tenderness, love, care. It’s simply amazing how quickly the method of love and kindness can cool his ardor and even transform him. It won't necessarily happen instantly, but eventually you will see a kinder, more flexible person in front of you.

If the Doom Fighter becomes aggressive, unleashing his rage on you, the only way out is to use the retreat method, say: “goodbye”, “ciao”, “bye” - and not return anymore. The method of retreat is also indispensable when it becomes simply impossible to continue a relationship with such a person.

If no methods help in communicating with the “Fatal Fighter,” you have no choice but to bow out.

Sad and doomed victim

When near a sad and doomed victim, it is best to rely on a method of relieving stress. It is necessary to periodically “drain” the accumulated bad energy, otherwise you will simply weaken by spending too much time with the Victim. These people are just walking bad moods that can be very contagious - you can easily catch them like a disease.

Smiling two-faced Janus

First of all, use the method of open protest, showing Janus that you are aware of his machinations. You should never let such people go. When faced with resistance, Janus, even if you caught him red-handed, can deny everything. In this case, grab the method of scandal and give vent to your anger. But remember: never resort to physical violence, no matter how much you want to. Your sincere, confident reaction will remain in the memory of Two-Faced Janus for a long time and will torment him all his life.

Indecisive weakling

An indecisive weakling is so insecure and vulnerable that he must be handled with extreme caution. Therefore, the method of love and kindness is most preferable in that you let the Weak One feel your readiness to be there at a difficult moment.

You may also want to use a method of calm questioning to help him make a decision. Ask questions that will help clarify the situation and give the Weakling the opportunity to come to some logical conclusion. If the Indecisive weakling drives you to white heat, and the methods of love, kindness and calm questions do not work, all that remains is to lay down your arms and leave the poor fellow in splendid isolation.

Consumer

When communicating with the Consumer, open protest is one of the ways out. This method allows you to make it clear that you feel used and offended. In some cases, resistance on your part causes the Consumer to experience remorse for his nasty behavior. If the Consumer cares about your friendship and respect, he may look at himself and your reactions differently. If you manage to remain calm, the method of open protest will allow you to start a dialogue that will help restore the damaged relationship. If you feel that they are trying to manipulate you, to use you in this situation, say directly and firmly: “No, it won’t do. I won’t allow anyone to treat me like that, I don’t like it.”

Another option is to walk away and no longer give the consumer the opportunity to take advantage of you.

Evil Upstart Tyrant

Very often these dictators, when fought with the same weapons, feel both amazement and disgust at their behavior. In essence, by rebuffing their anger, you can once and for all protect yourself from such attacks. By shouting louder than them, you will regain your courage.

In addition, in dealing with an Upstart Tyrant, the method of scandal is suitable. Don't let him torture you with his "quirks" and enjoy your humiliation. On the contrary, act boldly and calmly. If you put him in his place, the Upstart might even respect you. Don't give him the pleasure of seeing your fear.

Your tyrant boss will also feel respect for you, although he may explode even more. You will win either way: even if he unleashes his fury on you, at least you will maintain your dignity. Another option is to get away from the Upstart Tyrant and stay as far away from him as possible. A humorous way will also help. There are many known cases when good-natured humor saved the situation and the tyrant’s ardor faded away.

The method of open protest immediately makes it clear to the Joker that you do not consider him witty and do not intend to be the object of vile jokes and stories.

It is necessary to maintain a firm tone to silence him. Don’t be afraid to talk to the Joker in this way, because he doesn’t understand in a good way. When the Joker makes a poisonous joke at you and makes excuses by saying that he was “just fooling around,” or tries to provoke you with the remark: “Don’t you understand jokes?” - Put it back in place immediately. Tell him that you understand the jokes, but you don't find anything funny in what he said. Don't worry about offending him or hurting his feelings. In the end, this person doesn't really care about your feelings.

Because the Joker builds a wall of jokes in front of him to protect his frail self-esteem, you may not be able to break his abusive behavior. The joker may simply give up on you and continue in the same spirit. In this case, turn to the scandal method. Also remind the Joker, by way of open protest, that the current plight of the world will quickly put an end to his jokes, especially if they are dangerous in terms of norms of interracial or sexual behavior.

When communicating with the Ignorant, a variety of methods are at your disposal. What you choose depends on how stubborn or stupid the Ignorant is. Start with a way to relieve tension if your opponent seems so unbearable to you that you can only hold your anger by holding your breath.

It is usually not enough to take out your anger on the Ignorant. Therefore, you can influence him using the method of open protest, explaining how small child that his actions were completely inappropriate.

The best ways to deal with Mad Men are to relieve stress and ask calm questions. The calmer you are, the less you provoke the Madman and the easier it will be for you to communicate.

Ultimately, you will always be able to move away from Mad Men and do more enjoyable things, because without professional help they will never be able to change their difficult behavior. Do everything in your power to send such a person to a doctor, and if that fails, save yourself. Even if you are beside yourself and ready to strangle someone who does nasty things to you, always suppress your aggressive impulses and do not do anything that can ruin your future and put your life in danger.

When faced with Mad Men, never try to take matters into your own hands, but try to find legal avenues. Then, no matter how painful it may be, tell yourself, “I won’t think about it,” to deal with the bitterness in your heart caused by the Madman.

Shameless liar

The best way to deal with a Shameless Liar is to ask calm questions. If, suspecting him of lying, you begin to pour out questions, the Liar will eventually be driven into a corner and appear in an open form.

Then comes the turn of a method of open protest, which makes the Liar understand that you have seen through him, just as some Liars hide the truth only in order to amaze you. You might want to help them save their face, even though you know they're lying. Adopt a method of relieving tension, and let the Liar weave whatever he wants. And if he wants to impress you with harmless inventions, use a humorous method. A slight grin on your face often shows the Liar that you are aware of the true state of affairs, but are not inclined to humiliate him.

Dirty dog

The nasty person should make it clear clearly that his nasty behavior is not at all welcome and looks disgusting. The method of scandal, and then the method of retreat, will best explain to this type of mischief your attitude towards him.

You should not be polite and friendly with Dirty People, as this, as a rule, does not impress them. These manipulators are too dangerous, so after giving them a hard time, leave immediately! Don't let Dirty People into your life.

Misers represent classic type harmful creatures, because they have unusually low self-esteem. The method of calm questions can help you in communicating with a Curmudgeon. By asking certain questions, you will let him know how unpleasant stinginess is. The Cheapskate will likely be embarrassed to hear your point of view. And the answers will shed light on his hidden fears, which will make you more understanding and patient towards your opponent, even if he behaves unworthily.

Another way is the method of open protest. The necessary conditions- compassion and understanding, therefore, when communicating with Hoarders, maintain a friendly tone. The way of love and kindness will best demonstrate your empathy.

The narcissist is unable to talk about anything unless it has something to do with himself. The best way to communicate with him is through the method of love and kindness, since Narcissus is selfish and self-absorbed solely because of deep fears, insecurities and complexes. Understanding this will help you better understand the Narcissist's problems and interact more successfully with him. The narcissist does not strive to be selfish at all costs; he is this way due to low self-esteem. The narcissist does not know how to give something to others because he is too exhausted, worthless and busy with his own problems.

If his self-absorption is wearing on your patience, a stress reliever will calm you down and help you continue communicating. If the Narcissist's selfishness and insecurities affect you, you must speak up about it using open protest. However, maintain a calm, reserved tone, otherwise they will not listen to you. If you begin to blame him and say barbs, the Narcissist will become defensive, scolding you and denying that he is self-centered. His “I” is usually fragile, like an eggshell.

If you notice that the Narcissist communicates with you only when it is convenient for him, does not pay attention to your words, and turns all conversations on himself, you may ask why he chose you. You can take your leave and leave Narcissus. Most people who encounter a Narcissist end up choosing to retreat as there comes a point where their patience wears thin. Once you stop communicating with the Narcissist, it will help to think: “I won't think about it” when you suddenly think about him, and a humorous way that will show the absurdity of his behavior.

Even though the Slickers are unscrupulous manipulators, you don’t have the courage to blame them for everything, because deep down you still believe that at least a little of what they say is true. When the sugary flattery starts to overflow, a stress reliever can help you cope with unpleasant emotions. If this is not enough to overcome hostility, use a humorous method to stop the Slicker's efforts to please you.

You can smile and good-naturedly say: “Come on, continue, am I really what you say? You probably need something from me.” This combination of humor and open protest can cause an outburst of denial, followed by other hilarious remarks like “if you don’t stop talking in that honeyed voice, I’m going to get diabetes,” or “are you pouring that sweet syrup on me to look at me?” , how will the ants swarm me?”, or “Aren’t you tired of it yet?” Show them that you see right through their sycophantic “things.” If you can't stand the Sneaking and their flattery anymore, try the mirror method. Speak to them the same way they do, imitating their sweet voice. Usually they guess what's going on.

Self-righteous despot

When faced with a Smug Despot, immediately show him using calm questions how unpleasant and boring he is to you.

If, on the other hand, the Self-righteous Despot takes an unapproachable position and you find it dangerous to use the mirror method, choose the substitute fantasy method so that you can safely spend time with the Despot.

Arrogant snob

When Arrogant Snobs start singing their favorite song, “I'm better than you,” the method of calm questioning works best. Ask Snobs more questions so that they understand the absurdity of their claims to others. Questions like “who told you that you are better than others?” or “why wouldn’t you talk to such a person?” usually they are knocked off their arrogance, since they do not know how to respond to this.

It is very pleasant to tell the Arrogant Snobs everything that you think, because they do not expect such a turn of events and are shocked by your Attacks. If you find that you have suffered enough meanness from the Arrogant Snob and his friends, leave them and leave, saving your nerves. People who think they are better than you don't deserve attention.

Competitor

Nowadays, women often succeed more than their male friends, and some insecure representatives of the stronger sex cannot accept this. Although many of these men consider themselves highly evolved and progressive people, they, like fossils, are unable to shake off the youthful belief that boys should be bigger, better, stronger and smarter than girls.

Mentor

The mentor - a little despot - simply cannot live without playing the role of first violin. But while children can still be raised, adults with their established beliefs and values ​​only experience irritation and humiliation when someone tries to control them.

Don't let the Mentor down. Explain that you are not concerned with his desire to manage everything, but attempts to manage you are annoying. At the first suspicion of such behavior, you need to use the method of open protest. The mirror method also works wonders, making the Mentor wary, for he instantly boils over at the slightest attempt to control him. The mentor clearly cannot stand being treated the way he treats others. Remember that if you persistently imitate him, he may not remain in debt and fly into a frenzy. However, having experienced first-hand what it is like to be taught what, how and when to do, he will stop trying to tell you.

Ruthless Mentors also deserve a way to scandal. Turn on your heels, tighten your stomach and loudly declare that you will no longer tolerate being controlled and told what to do, because you are a reasonable adult who is fully capable of making your own decisions. A little rudeness will show this person how angry you are capable of. If nothing helps and the Mentor continues to control you, causing anxiety and grief, you will have to retreat. Otherwise, rest assured: you will stop being yourself and forget how to think for yourself.

Suspicious skeptic

Be as patient as possible. The stress relief method will help you get rid of negative emotions. If you decide to support the naysayers using the method of love and kindness, you may make good friends and allies.

If these people get on your nerves too much, you will have to retreat just as in the case of other Harmful Creatures who take a lot of your energy. Leave them in the care of psychologists!

Harmful people at work

Like neighbors, employees are not chosen - unless you are the head of a company. But the current situation in the financial world sometimes does not allow even bosses to choose their employees and clients at will.

In our turbulent times, an employee must have the skills to communicate with all types of harmful people in order not to lose his job. In the workplace, learning to deal with difficult individuals is truly a matter of survival. Stress Relief: “I won’t think about it” and vicarious fantasy can be your closest allies at work.

Harmful bosses. Bosses are bosses, they are the first fiddle, so whether you respect them or not is a secondary issue if you want to keep your job and make a living. The main thing for you is to learn to deal adequately with them and deal with your own anger. Harmful people in positions of power tend to be Angry Upstart Tyrants, Blaming Critics, Mentors, Consumers, Competitors, Smiling Two-Faced Januses and Curmudgeons, or variations thereof.

If you value your job, other methods may be risky. You can't put your bosses on the defensive and make them look bad because it's always up to them and there's nothing you can do about it - so express your anger in a more acceptable way.

If your work is not of great value to you, take a risk and use the methods of open protest, calm questions, mirrors or scandal. After all, is it worth holding on to your job if anxiety and stress are threatening your health? Leave if you can. We don't need to be victims anymore. Now there is an opportunity to raise our voice, leave or go to the appropriate authorities that will help us sort things out.

Harmful employees. A harmful employee may appear in the guise of a Competitor, a Trample in the Mud, a Smiling Two-Faced Janus, a Gossip, a Dirty Man, or an Instigator. Although the work environment is very different from home, many people tend to look at the boss as a parent and see employees as brothers and sisters. As a result family relationships often carry over into the work environment.

The most effective methods for dealing with harmful employees are methods of relieving tension and calm questions. Never lose your composure and don’t break into a scandal. Verbal violence at work is unacceptable under any form! Whatever the situation, you must behave as a professional and cultured person. If you are too provoked into a quarrel, use the method of open protest with both the harmful employee and the boss, directly telling the latter what happened. Let the difficult colleague know that you understand what's what and are not going to follow his lead, but will go to the higher authorities - to the boss - for fairness and justice.

Harmful subordinates. Some subordinates are so jealous of their superiors that they take on the role of the Gossip, the "Slumbering But deadly volcano", the Instigator, the Slicker, the Smug Despot, or the Suspicious Skeptic. Subordinates should behave correctly with their boss, at least because of their position, while the boss should respect his subordinates, while occupying a position of authority. A boss who is dissatisfied with a subordinate must always remain calm, never give in to anger and not use the method of scandal. When dealing with harmful subordinates, it is necessary to master the methods of open protest and calm questions.

Harmful professionals. There are harmful government officials and harmful professionals: doctors, lawyers, businessmen, politicians and even psychologists. No matter how educated these people are, no matter how successful they are at school, subsequently at medical school, the bar, and successfully passing all exams, this does not give them the right to consider themselves superior to others and insult them.

Too often, professionals hide behind their titles and degrees to make them feel bigger and more powerful. Too often they manifest their toxic behavior as Evil Upstart Tyrants, Fatal Fighters, Competitors, Smiling Two-Faced Januses, Trampers in the Mud, Narcissists, Arrogant Snobs, Mentors or Suspicious Skeptics.

Such harmful professionals need to be put in their place. Their task is to help and support. And it doesn’t matter how famous these doctors and lawyers are or how many articles have been written about them, first of all they are obliged to help you. You pay them money, you need their services, so don't be afraid of them. You have every right to ask them questions and expect to be treated politely. It is best to use the method of calm questions when communicating with harmful professionals. The key word is calm. After all, they are also sensitive creatures and are often offended if your voice sounds like a pretension. They will become defensive, talking down to you or being rude. Therefore, when communicating with them, it is extremely necessary to monitor your intonations.

Maintain a calm and polite tone, loud enough but not harsh or shouty. If, despite your polite manners, their tone leaves much to be desired, use the method of open protest and say calmly but firmly that you prefer to be treated more politely and will not tolerate humiliation.

Harmful staff. Harmful people from service personnel can manifest themselves as Arrogant Snobs, Self-satisfied Despots, Consumers, Evil Upstart Tyrants, Chatterboxes, Competitors, Smiling Two-Faced Januses or Slickers. Perhaps many salespeople today are rude and unkind because they are jealous of your ability to buy something they cannot afford themselves. They would gladly be in your place - the place of the buyer, not the seller.

Whatever makes such people toxic, you should not suffer from it. Now you have the opportunity to get out of unpleasant situations with dignity. Open protest must be applied to harmful members of the service staff. If it doesn’t help, try the mirror method, and if that doesn’t work either, don’t accept their help at all. It is better to use the method of scandal and retreat - leave and do not pay for services not provided.

You have a choice

From all sides our lives are poisoned by harmful people. They seep into our daily affairs from everywhere. But stop running and hiding. If the image harmful person apply it to someone you know and you will understand what it is about him that repels you; perhaps this understanding alone will be enough. In fact, to understand everything means to forgive, and you will no longer have to accumulate unpleasant feelings within yourself.