Arrogance is a quality with which a person tries to protect his personality from various unwanted and unacceptable manifestations. It makes an arrogant person feel more self-important. But others don’t really like this - and the feeling of rejection in this case is quite fair, because no one wants to feel worse than the other. Is the word "arrogance" synonymous with pride? And what is the full meaning of this word?

Synonym of pride, analogue of consumerism

Psychologists believe that arrogance is always associated with consumption. An arrogant person is one who expects constant praise, special treatment, and recognition from others. A person’s credo in communication is “we are for each other.” The following words can correspond to the motto of an arrogant person: “you are for me.” A vain person always wants to feel like he is in a leadership position. These people differ from others in that they tend to constantly teach and instruct others, as well as make comments. People of this type, without a twinge of conscience, make choices for others, because they consider themselves experts in everything. life spheres. However, psychologically, arrogance is carefully built over time. life path defensive reaction.

An arrogant person is one who uses such behavior to protect himself from feelings of worthlessness. He consciously chooses a type of behavior that helps make his existence more comfortable. Arrogance makes it easier for a person to control the world. Since arrogance protects a sense of self-worth, this type of psychological defense is greatly needed by people who have experienced serious humiliation or shame.

Treatment for arrogance

Thus, it turns out that an arrogant person is not who he is trying to pass himself off to others. At the same time, people of this kind arouse contempt for themselves on the part of others to a much greater extent. With their sense of arrogance, they constantly hurt the pride and self-esteem of their interlocutor. An arrogant person is one who constantly alienates those around him, because through his actions he sows coldness in communication.

For such a person, it is important to be able to accept his own imperfections and learn to show respect for people. He needs to master the ability to notice his own value, as well as appreciate those around him. From vertical relationships with the world, where an arrogant person occupies a position at the top, he must gradually move into horizontal ones, where communication occurs on equal terms.

Causes

In fact, pride is the opposite of nothingness. In other words, it is the antonym of low self-esteem. The way an arrogant person behaves is an extreme that can hardly lead to anything good. Often arrogance can be a consequence of improper upbringing. This happens when parents from the very early years They say to their child: “You are the best, the smartest, the most beautiful, you are better than others.” This affects the child’s self-esteem to the greatest extent when the parents’ words are absolutely untrue. They are not supported in any way own actions. In other words, the child does practically nothing good, makes no effort, but at the same time constantly receives praise. Arrogance develops when a child receives an undeserved reward.

There is another case of the formation of arrogance. A person becomes arrogant when he does not know how to work with his self-esteem, cannot accept his own shortcomings, treat them properly and gradually eliminate them.

Solve problems at the expense of others

So we've looked at why people are arrogant and where this problem comes from. People who have no peace of mind try different ways make up for your mental anguish at the expense of those around you. Arrogance often arises when a person feels pressured by his own psychological problem, however, he is trying his best to contain this pressure. The proverb "rags to riches" indicates that arrogance is enough old problem in the human world. If a person remembers who he was recently and what he did, but begins to be ashamed of his past and tries to forget it, then he has psychological difficulties.

What to do with the proud?

How to deal with an arrogant person? Psychologists do not recommend trying to subjugate him or pointing out dependence. Often an arrogant person boasts not about his actual achievements, but about his plans. In this case, it can and should simply be put in place. They say about arrogant people that they have “high standards.” These people have high level claims. However, the disadvantage is that these claims are not based on anything. Many rightly consider arrogance a mental illness. This character trait deprives the owner of humanity and alienates him from reality. An arrogant person cannot see the real state of things, because everyone around him seems unworthy.

I’ll share with you a banal idea that became a discovery for me in 2018. Remember the people you consider evil, arrogant and unpleasant? Remember those who seemed like such a person to you when you first met? I clearly understood why people manifest themselves to us this way. The answer is in the text.

The first reason is you...

As our dear Igor Nikolaev sang: “The first reason is you...”. And he was right! The only reason why people act this way towards us is because they...are afraid of us. Now I will explain how it works.

Let's remember another wonderful person - academician Ivan Pavlov, who conducted a famous experiment with dogs, indicating conditioned reflex. The experiment was simple: the light comes on - the dog gets food - saliva is released. We do this thing several times and then exclude food. But the reflex has already been developed: every time the light comes on, saliva is released anyway.

Now let's get back to the people. The same thing happens to us: throughout our lives we encounter a bunch of different people. And many of them traumatized us:

A girl named Vika kept taking your toys away

The thin boy Igor, who lisped, kept telling the teacher about you

First love - funny guy Vanya - went to his grandmother for the summer and forgot about you

Your first teacher - a chubby-cheeked student - had an affair with a physical teacher

Your neighbor in the big jeep is, as your mother said, “a thief and a liar”

Your first “chief” constantly suffered from PMS and forced her to stay late at work

We meet a girl who is somewhat similar to the girl Vika, and we immediately begin to defend our “toys”. Burrs and thin people seem touchy to us. Funny guys look unreliable. Chubby-cheeked students seem flighty.

You don’t like women leaders and think that they are “hysterical.” And any man in a jeep is a thief and a deceiver.

What happens next?

This is the background we come to people with. Without realizing our reactions, like Pavlov’s dogs, we see people who are similar to those who once traumatized us, and we turn on the armor. In our head, when we see such people, the “Unsafe!” switch turns on.

And as soon as we start to “defend ourselves” in our heads, 2 things happen:

Firstly, we only see bad sides in a person and have a negative attitude

Secondly, the person reads this and turns on the “armor” himself

This happens simultaneously. It turns out that both we and they are afraid that they will hurt us again, so we begin to defend ourselves.

So the only reason why people appear arrogant, angry and unpleasant around us is because they are afraid of us. And we are afraid of them.

I have a friend - a very beautiful Instagram lady. She is one of those gorgeous girls from whom most of our country tries to hide their husbands and boyfriends.

At the same time, she is very kind and soft inside, but due to the fact that her parents beat her as a child, and the first young man adolescence he raped her, she learned to be afraid of almost all people and now puts up a powerful “armor”. But behind the façade of arrogance lies a small, frightened child.

And so a vicious circle develops: most women are afraid of her, because it seems to them that it is “such bitches who take men away from the family.” “I once came to a dinner party, and when I entered the hall, one girl ostentatiously took her boyfriend and left the dinner,” says my friend.

She doesn’t feel any pleasure from this - she returns home and cries because she feels that people don’t accept her and no one needs her again.

What to do?

It would seem like a vicious circle: you are afraid of people and they are afraid of you, but there is a way out. There are 2 steps:

1. Stop thinking that all burry people are touchy, funny guys are unreliable, chubby-cheeked students are flighty, female managers are hysterical, and any man in a jeep is a thief and a deceiver. You need to understand that then, a long time ago, you were traumatized by specific people and this does not apply to other people.

2. Take full responsibility for your manifestations. Changing Habits applies to all of the above by putting up armor in front of them. Communicate with them as if they have passed the internal “Dangerous-Safe” filter in favor of “Safe”.

Like this. And, perhaps, in a couple of years you will discover that a luxurious Instagram-cute has become yours best friend, funny guy - the most true friend, women leaders are the best thing in management, and the most honest and spiritual people drive jeeps.

As Leopold the cat said: “Let’s live together!”

It’s New Year after all :)

Well, and of course, read many other spiritual conclusions about how to forgive old grievances, find your Path and become happier in my books “100 Ways to Change Your Life. Part one" and "100 ways to change your life. Part two" .

Kisses, your Larisa.

P.s. Did you know that there is an infographic poster based on the book “100 Ways to Change Your Life” that will help you take confident steps towards your dreams? It can be downloaded or received as a gift along with books. Look here, we still have a lot of useful things.

What is arrogance? Definition and meaning

What is arrogance? What does “arrogant person” mean? An arrogant person is one who behaves as if he is superior to others, more valuable and important, one who behaves disdainfully towards others. At the same time, an arrogant person craves admiration and respect for his “special” qualities or for what he has done. Arrogance involves a desire to dominate and a person's overconfidence in their abilities and that they deserve success.

As a rule, arrogance serves as a kind of compensatory mechanism for uncertainty and self-distrust. This personality trait is established in childhood. Although any person can behave arrogantly and arrogantly in a certain situation or circumstance, for truly arrogant people this is a stable pattern of behavior in life. If arrogance is a personality characteristic, it will be very difficult to change this trait, although it is possible.

Like all personality traits (a person can be more or less responsible, sociable, etc.), arrogance can be expressed to a greater or lesser extent. The extreme form of arrogance is narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissism is the psychological term for arrogance. There are two types: the vulnerable and the grandiose narcissistic personality type. The first uses arrogance to compensate for his insecurities, and the second really considers himself perfect, just as he shows it.

Learn more about narcissism in the next video. Don't forget to turn on subtitles in Russian.

Reasons for Arrogance

There is no single reason for arrogance. In some cases, a person may become arrogant due to the experience he has gone through, however, other people do not psychological motive or a specific reason that would explain the arrogance.

1- Great achievements

Often a person becomes arrogant because he has achieved a lot in life. Serious achievements, the realization that you were able to achieve what others could not, stimulates our sense of self-worth, sometimes to such an extent that other people begin to seem less important.

This is because, unconsciously, we constantly compare ourselves to others to measure our progress and achievements in areas that are important to us.

2- Uncertainty, low self-esteem

Arrogance and arrogance serve as a defense mechanism. It is a way to protect our self-esteem and self-worth. A way to hide and compensate for uncertainty, feelings of inferiority, and self-distrust.

Arrogance helps us reject others before they can reject us. This is a form of warning, of avoiding harm that others may bring to us. That's why we often act arrogantly strangers out of fear of being rejected.

When experiencing emotional insecurity, feeling and demonstrating superiority or achievement can make you feel better in the short term. However, this strategy is ineffective in the long term for several reasons:

• Alone with yourself, you will still feel insecure.
• Nobody likes to be around arrogant people, so those around you will gradually start to distance themselves, making you feel worse each time.
• You may not be rejected, but you also won't have close friends or close relationships with people.

3- Need for approval and self-affirmation

Arrogant and arrogant people are very concerned about what others think of them. They depend on the approval of others. Sometimes, through arrogance, such people seek to gain attention that they cannot achieve in any other way.

This really works, arrogant and arrogant people were previously able to gain attention using this behavior, so they continue to behave this way. In this case, if in the future they fail to gain attention through arrogance, they will stop behaving in this way.

What does “arrogant person” mean? Signs

Who is an arrogant person? How to understand that a person is arrogant and arrogant? Let's look at the main signs of arrogant people. It is not necessary that all these signs are observed in every arrogant person. There are different degrees of arrogance, and this trait can manifest itself to a greater or lesser extent, like any other personality or character trait. So, how does an arrogant person behave?

1- Craves praise and recognition from other people

One of the characteristics of arrogant people is that they are constantly looking for admiration from others, showing off what they have achieved or what they have in order to be praised by others. They love those who admire them and despise those who do not.

2- Constantly talks about himself and his achievements

Their favorite topic is themselves, what they did, what they bought, what happened to them. They also like to be the center of attention. They tend to steal the spotlight at any meeting or social event. All conversations revolve around their person. If someone changes the subject or starts talking about something else, an arrogant person will immediately try to return attention to themselves, even if this means interrupting the interlocutor.

3- Makes a good impression at first

When meeting someone, an arrogant person can be charming. His charisma, extroversion and sociability attract many. But this charm is superficial and does not last long, because behind it lies a lack of empathy, contempt, selfishness and anger.

4- “Overcompensate” for their weaknesses

Typically, arrogant people talk loudly, walk, dress, and put on makeup in ways that attract attention... Thus, they hide their insecurities through powerful behavior.

5- Have problems building relationships

Arrogance and arrogance scare and alienate people. Not only because no one likes to be around someone who thinks they are better than others and treats others with contempt, but also because arrogant people often believe that they are self-sufficient and do not need anyone.

However, the truth is that prolonged isolation causes serious discomfort.

6- They don’t admit mistakes and don’t accept criticism.

Arrogant and arrogant people believe that everything they do, they do well. They think that they never make mistakes and always find excuses for their mistakes. “I was given the information too late”, “Everything was not explained to me clearly”...

When they are criticized, they become defensive and don't even listen to what they are told.

7- They find it difficult to ask for forgiveness

Because of their own arrogance, such people believe that they are not doing anything wrong, so they do not ask for forgiveness or apologize. It's always the other person's fault.

8- They are intolerant with those who are different from them

Arrogant people easily criticize others for mistakes and weaknesses that do not live up to their high standards. They need to correct the mistakes and failures of others, and even provoke others into mistakes, in order to then point out their weaknesses.

Arrogant people only talk to those they think deserve their attention.

Arrogance and self-respect

It seems logical to think that arrogant behavior could be caused by high self-esteem. And that arrogance and self-confidence are related, in other words, if you have low self-esteem and you constantly increase it, then in the end you can become an arrogant and arrogant person. However, it is not.

As we have already found out, an arrogant and arrogant person, deep down in his soul, is too insecure and has low self-esteem. Thus, arrogance and high self-esteem are opposite things. If a person with low self-esteem seeks therapy to improve their self-esteem and self-esteem, they will not become arrogant. He will become someone who believes in his abilities and strengths, and also recognizes his weaknesses in order to work on them and compensate for them.

Get 10 tips on how to boost your self-esteem.

How to communicate with an arrogant person?

We have all met arrogant people along the way. We'll give you some useful tips about how to deal with an arrogant person. You can use them in your daily life:

• If they say something offensive to you, do not remain silent. Don't leave this unanswered. Arrogant people are so focused on themselves that they don't even realize how much damage they are causing.
• Tell the arrogant person that this is just his point of view and that other people may think differently. That his opinion is not the absolute truth.
• If he interrupts you and talks only about himself, say: “Sorry to interrupt you, but I would like to tell you something.”
• If a person says something arrogantly to you, don’t be afraid to tell him about it. However, you should not go on the attack, try to emphasize that he did not have such intentions (even if he did): “That sounded a little arrogant” or “Do you realize how arrogant that sounded?” Or “You don’t want to seem so arrogant”?
• Be patient and understanding with the arrogant person, because he/she doesn't really know how to behave differently.

After reading all this, you may be thinking that you yourself suffer from arrogance. Even if this is so, then realizing this is already an important step.

• You are not better than others just because you did something great. Like everyone else, you have your defects, and this also does not make you worse than others. Sometimes it is difficult to admit our weaknesses because we feel vulnerable, and this is completely normal. However, if we do not recognize them and begin to deal with them, we will remain alone, isolated, without the support of other people.
• Understand and accept that those around you have their own proper point vision, which may be very different from yours. There is no absolute truth. Knowing different points of view can be very helpful. Don't despise others because they think differently. Listen to what they have to say, it may surprise you.
• Increase your self-esteem. You don't have to despise or dominate others to feel valued. We are all valuable.
• If you can't deal with arrogance on your own, consult a professional.

Translation by Anna Inozemtseva

The origins of the definition of “arrogance” go deep into the history of mankind, in those times when nations were ruled by emperors and kings. One of the most important symbols of power was the presence of the ruler on a throne standing on a hill, before which the subjects had to prostrate. Thus, the difference in status and rank between the king, who was superior to others in every sense of the word, and ordinary people was emphasized.

Nowadays, an arrogant person is no longer a ruler, but rather an inveterate proud person, a person with high self-esteem and a habit of boastfully showing off his advantages. Psychologists are well aware that arrogant people are often deeply unhappy inside, but under no circumstances will they admit it. In the article we will consider in detail the causes, signs and problems that are generated by this character flaw.

Signs of arrogance in people

Arrogance can be easily identified by these characteristic features, manifested in human behavior as:

• selfishness and peremptory attitude towards other people, such an individual does not forgive any mistakes and reacts to them inappropriately, as if it were a personal insult;
• arrogant people most often ignore or subtly humiliate an interlocutor belonging to a lower social rank in front of others;
• one’s own point of view on absolutely everything in the world and a complete inability to respect other people’s views and thoughts;
• pride, they hate to apologize for their own misdeeds and do not accept any authority;
• arrogance is expressed through facial expressions, which demonstrates disdain for others; such people often walk with their heads held high and very emotionally express their dissatisfaction, playing to the public;
• arrogant people are extremely quick-tempered, react violently to criticism addressed to them, not wanting to hear other people’s opinions;
• these people are constantly under the influence of codes and engrams.

Reasons for appearance

It should be understood that arrogance is not an innate, but an acquired character trait. It is formed both in early childhood and in old age. The reasons for its appearance can be a variety of factors; let’s consider the most important ones.

Luck. An individual may be born into a rich and respected family, or suddenly become rich by receiving an inheritance from an uncle. The awareness of financial independence and high position in society inspires him, hence the contemptuous attitude towards his more “unsuccessful” fellow tribesmen, in his opinion. The same applies to those individuals who were lucky enough to be born beautiful.

Poverty, ugly appearance. Oddly enough, but the lack of money and physical beauty also causes arrogance. This happens because a poor person tries to compensate for his own “inferiority” by humiliating those around him, thereby psychologically protecting himself from others. Staging constant squabbles and scandals, he quickly gains fame as a “difficult” person with a difficult character, who is not welcome anywhere.

Possession of some “higher” knowledge. Among scientists there are often arrogant individuals who consider themselves to be the center of the planet. This pride comes from how highly they value their acquired wisdom. They love to teach other people, guide them on the right path, enlighten them, and at the same time treat them condescendingly, like children who do not understand anything in this world.

Publicity. Fame is an excellent breeding ground for arrogance, which is why most pop stars, actors and artists behave provocatively with their own fans. Being on stage in the spotlight, in front of a huge crowd, extremely quickly develops in them a painful conceit, which they transfer to everyone around them.

Flattery. Individuals who are accustomed to pleasing those in power often become the reason for the development of arrogance. Various politicians and public figures do not notice that they are simply being used for selfish purposes, and truly believe that they deserve all the honors given to them.

Upbringing. Psychologists know that there are parents who consider it advisable to instill in their children disdain for other people. They believe that this will elevate their child and accustom him to the position of a boss. This often happens in eminent families that have a long history and consider themselves an aristocracy.

Codes and engrams can become an imaginary protection of a person from psychological rudeness, arrogance and external pressure from others; a person is afraid to show his weakness, thereby creating a unique type of arrogance.

The Flaws of Arrogance

The main problem with arrogance is that a person who has such an unpleasant behavioral trait, does not place the people around her at all. It is because of this reason that it is difficult for such an individual to establish long-term intimate contact with individuals of the opposite sex, communicate with colleagues at work, make new friends, communicate and live. It is extremely difficult for proud people to build a career, as they react inadequately to the claims of their superiors, ignore work routines and try to rise at the expense of others. As a result, they have conflicts with them and are often fired.

Psychologists who have worked with pathologically proud people note that it is difficult for such individuals to be the first, they have an unbearable character and rarely want to truly change. An arrogant individual needs to understand that by arrogant behavior he destroys his own reputation and complicates life. Without accepting responsibility for your actions, it is impossible to change ingrained behavioral patterns, especially an arrogant attitude towards other people.

You'll definitely recognize them when you see them. It's arrogant people with an arrogant attitude towards others that can easily ruin your day, unless of course you are armed with one or more of these 9 answers.

For some reason, an arrogant person is sure that he is somehow superior to you, although, in fact, we are all equal people, and the difference between us is completely insignificant. How you react to these people when you encounter them can affect your mood. Your response to an arrogant person is a reflection of your integrity, your ability to stand up for yourself.

9 phrases that will put an arrogant person in his place

Arrogant people have general features characters with people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual mental disorders 4th edition, used to diagnose psychological problems:

They believe that they are special and unique, so they can only be understood by people with a special or high status, with whom they should only communicate.

They require excessive admiration for their personality.

They are in an unreasonable belief that everything should happen exactly as they wish or assume.

They carry out interpersonal exploitation, that is, they use others to achieve their own goals.

They lack empathy: that is, they are unable to recognize or identify the feelings and needs of other people.

Show arrogance through arrogant behavior or attitude.

1. - What makes you think so?

This phrase is intended to help an arrogant person understand that he is in captivity of stereotypes, that he is simply generalizing everything, as a result of which he will stop speaking in such a way. We hope that such people can realize that they are saying bad things. And after this is pointed out to them, they will stop expressing such thoughts.

2. - Oh-oh-oh!

If they hurt someone's feelings, whether they are yours or someone else's, call it like you see it. It's about about offensive language used by an arrogant person. And this exclamation will help them realize the harm they are causing.

3. - You know, my mother too...

An arrogant person is likely to identify groups of people based on race, sexual orientation, education received, etc., which allows him to express his negative stereotypes. The whole point is that by humiliating others, an arrogant person tries to elevate himself in comparison with them.

You can quickly stop negative talk by hinting that one of your loved ones is also part of the group that the arrogant person is trying to ridicule. In this way, you will let him know that such gossip is offensive to you personally and you are not going to put up with unfair slander. Most likely, after this the rude person will apologize, which will be the best way out of the situation for him.

4. - Do you know that there are other points of view?

You and everyone else have the right to your own opinion. But arrogant people should understand that their negative comments should not affect other people.

5. - Tell me again, why are you better than him?

Arrogant people think they are better than others. So ask them to explain why we should treat these other people differently. He can give quite interesting answers to this, but most likely he will just start squirming. And you will put him in a completely uncomfortable position if you say that he is not higher than other people.

6. - I would be grateful if these were the last words you said on this topic.

End this arrogant man's chatter as rudely as he started it. This phrase will put an end to his slander. But, again, an arrogant person, accustomed to hearing only himself. Therefore, you will have to say this in the most intelligible way for him.

7. - Shut up, finally.

The easiest way to end a conversation with an arrogant person is to simply walk away. And the best thing is if at the end you say some rather sharp phrase that will make him think. But it is quite possible that you will not be able to influence an arrogant person even in this way. They think too highly of themselves, despite all the evidence of their meanness.

8. - I'm sure you didn't mean for it to sound so arrogant, right?

This phrase conveys good intentions, even if you are not at all sure that the person is so inclined. This formulation actually gives the arrogant person a chance to correct himself, since he will be able to answer that he really did not mean to seem rude. She will also make it clear that you refuse to support his game of belittling others.

9 . “Do you realize how arrogant you look when you say things like that?”

Point out their arrogant behavior and let them know that you find it completely unacceptable. Psychologists who specialize in studying character say that modest people are not at all concerned with themselves, but arrogant people have an inflated opinion of themselves. Representatives of society with such a character are also characterized by manipulative actions towards other people.