Instead of a preface
I bring to your attention a new interesting article about online dating, written by an expert in this field, the creator and permanent head of the oldest dating site MayBe.Ru, Philippe Jayasinghe. A very tiny help in writing it (or rather, in preparing some statistics) was provided by your faithful servant, an expert site. :)
Dating STATISTICS
Please note that any such statistics, as in the well-known proverb, is only the next stage after the "big lie". I wouldn't trust her.
One should be especially suspicious of the "what percentage of visitors got married" statistics. As far as I know, not a single site has reliable data on this matter - after all, when registering on such sites, no one signs a document on a mandatory notification in case of marriage! :)
Empirically, I can say that if a person didn’t just register, and immediately got tired of it, and he didn’t visit the site anymore - almost always a person can find a romantic partner, friend and/or friends.
As for getting married and having children, I think the percentage is quite high, if people set themselves such a goal and are positive themselves, this will definitely happen. Accurate data, as mentioned, no.
Here, here is some data on the number of users registered in the database of 9 popular dating sites (we do not take into account partner sites that use the databases of these sites):
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I MEET A PERSON AND HE IS SCARY?
In fact, this myth and this fear are greatly exaggerated. Cases where a person is too different from his photo are quite rare. Of course, you also need to cultivate the ability to determine whether a photo is real or not. If it seems to you that instead of Lena Ivanova - in front of you is a photo of some Hollywood actress, but you can't remember which one - there are many services and plug-ins for popular browsers to search the Internet for images according to the model. By installing such a plug-in, you can find out by pressing one right mouse button that Lena Ivanova in this case put on the guise of Natalie Portman :)
By the way, here is one such wonderful service - www.tineye.com
Well, in general, in our high-tech time, excellent insurance against such fears has been invented. Ask the interlocutor to chat with you on Skype with a camera. So many people these days have laptops, they almost always have cameras. Skype and the camera are almost impossible to deceive - in addition, in addition to a good look and a photo, you can evaluate a person’s speech, facial expressions, gestures (this is very important for the overall impression, as mentioned above).
BTW ABOUT SKYPE OR KEEP THE KIDS OFF THE SCREEN
Let's talk about that too. Why pretend to be a hypocrite ... "I take off your blouse and slowly but surely unbutton your bra" - we once wrote in chats from the 90s. And it was already called "virtual f**k".
Now, with the general infection of the country's population with broadband Internet and webcams ... the horror of what is happening.
Everyone knows the negative signs - having played in this way, a person can cool off towards you - and you, for example, could get married!
In addition, the passion for such "virtual" affairs stimulates the frequent change of "web partners" and "web partners", which leads first to the dehumanization of relationships, and then to exhaustion, moral, and even physical. :)
Imagine - you are sitting, all alone, and you no longer want anything and no one. Sad? Sad.
However, back to the beginning of the story. In our life there is always a place for some kind of fluctuation, some kind of violation of the rules, a failure ... or maybe a miracle.
When would you know from what rubbish
Poems grow, not knowing shame,
Like a yellow dandelion by the fence
Like burdocks and quinoa...
If A. Akhmatova lived in our time, maybe she would also agree that even from the most "dirty" relationships, real feelings can sometimes grow.
Review prepared by: Philip Jayasinghe (MAYBE.RU). "Droplet" :) the expert helped. COPYING IS FORBIDDEN!
There are a lot of men on dating sites: according to statistics, 60% of men, and only 40% of women. But this is only one of the reasons why women go online to get acquainted. After all, in life, “for ten girls there are only nine guys,” and on the Internet, if we draw a mathematical parallel, for ten girls there are already 15 guys. But to deal with this apparent advantage, you will need experience in online dating and a lot of patience and caution. How to recognize in a man who you are looking for? Practice shows that it is far from possible to have a serious relationship with each of the indicated 60%. Basically, of course, only by long-term communication can you recognize an interlocutor, but some points can be safely asserted only by the content of a standard profile on a dating site. The men living on the Internet can be classified into the following categories: 1. Prostitutes and gigolos. 1.1 For male prostitutes, the questionnaire clearly states: “sex for money”. It's simple: paid money - received an intimate service. 1.2 Alphonse men in their profile on a dating site write “I am looking for a sponsor” or “wealthy lady”. Relationships with gigolos can last longer than with prostitutes, as much longer as long and generously you pay for their services. Alphonse will try to please you in everything in exchange for cash rewards and expensive gifts. If you are “over forty”, and young people of 20-25 years old write to you, then you should be wary. With rare exceptions, such young people will want a serious relationship with women of "Balzac age." 2. Don Juan. This category of men in their questionnaire clearly indicates "sex for one or two times." On the very first day, Don Juan will offer you to meet, go to a restaurant, drive a car, etc. After a fun pastime, he will expect “payback” from you, and tomorrow he will already have a new girlfriend, new emotions and feelings. To seduce as much as possible is the motto of the Don Juan. Don Juan do not want to burden themselves with long-term relationships and various obligations, slept and “goodbye”. The indication in the questionnaire of the items “sex for one or two times”, “group sex” or “I am looking for a couple F + F” means that a man is primarily interested in sex and it is stupid to count on a serious relationship with him. 3. Married This type is usually divided into two subtypes: 3.1. "Explicit married." Men of this subtype in their questionnaire clearly indicate that they “live with their spouse”, “have children”. They immediately make it clear that they are connected by family ties and are not going to leave the family in order to dismiss the attempts of new passions to claim a serious relationship. Such men, most likely, are already bored with sex with their wife, tired of the monotony of life, the “family-work” rhythm, they need a fresh breath of air, new vivid impressions with a new woman. They "went out for a walk." And not everyone has enough time to make new acquaintances in real life, and they don’t want to “shine” either. Married people usually do not have a photo on a dating site, or it is so small and in profile that their own wife, relatives and mutual acquaintances do not recognize them. The absence of a photo at all should be alarming. A person does not want to “shine”, does not want to be recognized. The question is why? Do you need "invisibles"? 3.2. "Hidden married", do not indicate in the questionnaire that they are married in order to catch a bigger catch. Not every woman will contact a married man, and in this case, there are more chances for online dating and its continuation. The reason for coming to the dating site is the same as the previous subtype - the monotony of life, boring sex with his wife, the need for adrenaline and emotions. It is difficult to recognize “hidden married men” on the Internet; they disguise themselves as single and free men. 4. Foreigners This type is quite common now and is recognized immediately. Foreigners include a large army of Turkish, Caucasian, African, Hindu men, etc. Sorry for not naming all of them. This type starts with standard phrases like “Privet krasavitsa! How are you?". Such men write in broken Russian, with errors, which is called “we don’t know cases”, or in transliteration. These are either visiting men who are temporarily in our country, or men who are in their homeland and invite you to visit and promise you "unearthly love." You should not believe this type of men, they, as a rule, need one thing - to have fun with you. 5. Unlucky 5.1 "Unlucky" - basically, these are young people after 25, closer to 30 or more, who previously tried to build a serious relationship, but for some reason they did not succeed. They keep searching
I want a soul mate and hope to find her on a dating site. The unlucky in the questionnaire honestly indicate the items: “love, relationships”, “marriage, creating a family”, “desire to have children”. In this case, long-term real relationships are required in order to understand whether this man is right for you or not. 5.2 "Conditionally unlucky" - let's call them that. These include men, more often than not young, who have already tested themselves in family life, who have lived with their wife for n years (but did not live with her until the end of their lives). They have children, good jobs, do not live in poverty, but they want to find a life partner again, create a new family and have children. These men are already accomplished people, but they lack warmth, love, and understanding. 6. Virtuals. There are a lot of virtuals these days. Many virtuals at work out of nothing to do, for fun. Some indicate in the questionnaire the purpose of acquaintance - “correspondence”, others do not openly talk about it. Virtuals do not give their phone number, they refuse to meet in real life, citing a lot of reasons. If a young man did not try to meet you in the first week or two of your Internet communication, but continues to correspond with you, then this is most likely the same virtual. Virtually more often young guys who in life are not in demand among the fair sex. They are afraid to get acquainted in real life, because they are afraid of rejection, they are afraid to seem insecure. And with an Internet acquaintance, a pimply boy can feel like a kind of macho who knows all the ways of communication and seduction. In his messages, he can describe in detail to you how and what he will do with you in private. Having gained experience in communication, young guys eventually begin to go into real life. Recommendations for women on dating sites: You can choose the tactics of dating yourself: start dating first, or wait until your profile is noticed and written to you. If you prefer the first, that is, take the initiative, then it is best to come up with an original greeting for your first message in order to interest, intrigue the man you like and encourage him to answer you. Do not use standard phrases: “Hi! How are you?”, “How are you?”, “Hi! Let's meet?" etc. Someone will fall for this as well. But you yourself will soon get tired of such messages that other men will send you. And you yourself will begin to weed out such men, since it will not be interesting to answer for the hundredth time that “things are in order”, “the mood is good”, “let's get to know each other”. So “your” man will notice exactly you if you distinguish yourself with an original greeting. The second way to get acquainted is not to write to anyone first, but to wait until they write to you. In this case, the emphasis should be on the photograph and on the content of the questionnaire. It is best to post several photos where you can clearly see your face, figure (not necessarily in a swimsuit), a photo where you can see exactly your “highlight”. It can be an attractive smile, expressive eyes, beautiful hair, dimples on the cheeks. Men “love” with their eyes, and most often they choose from a photo. Tip: post "fresh" photos, do not post photos from five years ago. Anyway, at a meeting, if one happens, you will have to appear the way you are now. By choosing you by photo, some men will look at your profile. Fill out the standard form of the questionnaire, as well as the "Self-portrait" section, in which you need to reflect your character, your peculiarity and originality. Which online dating tactics to choose is up to you. For a fruitful acquaintance, it is most effective to combine these two tactics: to search and choose yourself, and at the same time someone will also look for you and choose you. “We choose, we are chosen, as it often does not coincide ...” - the heroine of the famous film sang. I must say, the dating site is a real lottery. You don’t know who you will find in the end: friends, lovers, life partner. Someone will be lucky in this difficult choice, but someone will not.
Do you still think that online dating is something frivolous or risky? You are hopelessly behind the times and fashion! Meanwhile, according to the estimates of the largest British marriage agencies Fisher and Catwalk, up to 30% of marriages in the UK in recent years are concluded after dating via the Internet. Similar statistics exist in other developed countries.
For some reason, many are convinced that only sexually horny specimens or chronic losers are found on dating sites. Fortunately, there are no more of them than representatives of other types. And in total, with a certain degree of convention, they can be counted 14. Although any classification is a thankless task, because there will always be those who do not fit into it. But before going on an Internet hunt, it's still a good idea to get acquainted with the most typical inhabitants of dating sites. After all, “knowing the enemy by sight” is always easier to think over the right relationship strategy in order to “tame” even the most “problematic” man. However, we do not promise you simple options!
"Businessman"
How to recognize? It is not at all necessary that the "Businessman" is engaged in business. But almost certainly, he is successful, makes good money and looks quite presentable. True, you will not meet oligarchs on such sites, but top managers of large firms and owners of their own, albeit small, companies are quite possible. “What are they doing here?” – a fair question arises. They are usually brought to the Internet by their own employment, unwillingness to get acquainted on the street or in some other similar places, and fatigue from the fact that all the women I know have long been reacting not so much to them as to their money.
What to fear? At the stage of dating, there is nothing to be afraid of. You will certainly be invited to an expensive restaurant, and in general everything will be very nice and respectable. But then you should be prepared that such men treat acquaintance as a business. And this means that their demands are quite high, but there is no time and energy for beautiful novels and crazy passions. If you want romance and intensity of emotions, then look elsewhere. Here everything will be extremely prosaic. If he doesn't like you, they probably won't even call you back. And if you like it, the relationship will be more like a deal.
"Chronic Bachelor"
How to recognize? It is extremely difficult to recognize at first sight! It is possible that he was once married. Well, the marriage fell apart, with whom it does not happen! And the lack of family experience at a quite respectable age is also not fatal. You never know how life goes! Well, no luck man! This is how women usually reason, trying to convince themselves that they have met a completely normal specimen: successful, handsome and free, in general, almost a “dream man”. However, if you take a closer look, you will understand that the "Chronic Bachelor" is all composed of numerous complexes and phobias.
What to fear? He is accustomed to loneliness and perceives any attempt to “ring” or “domesticate” himself with hostility. If you just need interesting and easy communication - this type is quite suitable for you. Fortunately, "Chronic Bachelors" are almost always very intelligent and extraordinary people. But if you urgently want to get married - then nothing shines for you! However ... And chronic bachelors once break down and get married!
"Sissy"
How to recognize? This type is found quite often on dating sites for a completely understandable reason: all the girls from his environment have already been criticized by his mother. Here he is, poor thing, and he hopes that she will not get to a new acquaintance so quickly. The diagnosis "Mama's boy" can be overt or covert. In the first case, everything is simple, because in each of your conversations with him, the word “mother” will sound in his performance from 2 to 10 times. The speed of running away as far as possible from such a man should be directly proportional to the number of these mentions.
But there are also more difficult cases. At first, a man behaves adequately, giving the impression of a completely adult and independent. In this case, sometimes the only reason for suspicion may be the fact that he is under (or over) 40, and he has never been married. To understand who is in front of you - “Mama's Boy” or “Chronic Bachelor”, you just need to start asking questions about his family in general and his mother in particular. Usually everything becomes clear very quickly.
What to fear? Only one thing - if you still decide to continue your relationship, get ready for constant comparisons with your mother. And almost always not in your favor. Even if you try to be her best friend, learn how to iron his shirts and cook cabbage pies just like her! Anyway, you won't win the competition. If you don’t want to turn your life into an endless pairs marathon with a winner known in advance, run away from such men!
"Doubting"
How to recognize? Most likely, he recently divorced or simply broke up with his beloved woman and still does not really understand what he, in fact, needs from meeting you. On the one hand, he seems to be looking for a serious relationship, but on the other hand, he is afraid of them. You can recognize this type only by talking with him and finding out some details of his past life. In addition, the actions of such a man can sometimes be completely unpredictable, he can periodically disappear for a long time, and then reappear.
What to fear? The worst thing is if you yourself are of the same type and have recently experienced a difficult breakup yourself. And since “the fisherman sees the fisherman from afar”, it is very likely that you will react to just such a man. Alas, there is almost no chance that you will be able to build a harmonious relationship with him. Everything will develop according to the “one step forward - two steps back” scheme, and in the end you will almost certainly part.
If you yourself know perfectly well what you want, and all the love dramas are left behind you, then the chances of a happy outcome are great. However, get ready for the fact that the relationship will develop very slowly. And don't push them!
"Collector"
How to recognize? These are the most loyal and regular visitors to such sites, "living" here for years. Whenever you come here, his profile will always be one of the first. You will almost certainly find a lot of very attractive photographs in it, and everything written will immediately arouse a desire to meet you urgently. Something, but he knows how to arrange baits perfectly!
What to fear? Your relationship will develop very easily and relaxed. They will have a certain amount of courtship and romance, and quite impressive sex and some, not very definite, hints of the future. However, as soon as a new “victim” looms on the horizon of your man, all attention will be switched to her. In a word, if you need a light affair or you yourself are a lover of collecting men, this case is yours. If you want a great and bright feeling for life, then do not hope that you can remake your fickle gentleman.
"Fussy"
How to recognize? This is one of the most difficult cases, because unlike most of the others, it is almost unrecognizable in the early stages of acquaintance. Usually this is a completely successful man, in whom everything in life is wonderful, except for one thing - there is no beloved woman nearby. But if, for example, the “Collector” is aware that he doesn’t really need one for the rest of his life, the “Fussy” usually sincerely looks for it. It just can't find it!
What to fear? It's like someone buys a car, falling in love with it at first sight, and someone spends several years on endless test drives, finding some flaws in each model: either the engine size is small, or the trunk is uncomfortable, or in the cabin too loud. So "Fussy" can not find the perfect woman, so that everything in her is "five plus". A dating site is a real paradise for such characters. You can sort and compare applicants ad infinitum! So, if you don’t want to become a girl for his next “test drive”, bypass such men. Although if you are 100% confident in your abilities - why not try to win in these competitions? After all, he will finally stop his choice on someone!
"Home"
How to recognize? If the purpose of your appearance on a dating site is to get married as soon as possible, then the easiest option is to find a man of this type. In his profile, it will probably be written about his desire to quickly create a new family and have children. Most likely, he was already married (perhaps more than once) and divorced not so long ago. But unlike the “Doubting One,” he does not reflect on this matter, but dreams of feeling the warmth of the hearth again. As a rule, such men are looking for the same domestic and economic women with similar life values.
What to fear? If such a man’s desire to marry as soon as possible is very strong, he will probably force your relationship and make you an offer almost on a second date. And if it turns out that you are clearly not ready for such a speed, you may be very surprised and offended. Another danger is boredom. Alas, there is a fly in the ointment in this barrel of honey! "Home" men, as a rule, are quite boring and rarely sparkle with intelligence.
"Jonah"
How to recognize? The point here is not so much in his real successes in life, but in self-esteem. And it is usually extremely low. In the questionnaire of such an instance, you will surely meet the words “ordinary, normal man” or something like that. He, most likely, does not have any serious hobbies and special success at work. There are no obvious advantages or noticeable disadvantages. In a word, this is such a typical average character, in which there is even nothing to catch on.
What to fear? Since this man is usually not spoiled by female attention, he will surely grab at least your minimal interest in him as a saving straw. So, getting rid of him will not be so easy. Actually, this is the only danger that can threaten you. And if you are overly intelligent and sensitive, after parting with such a man, you will be tormented by guilt for some time. By the way, if you need a henpecked husband, we highly recommend paying attention to this type.
"Virtual Resident"
How to recognize? He usually not only meets, but practically lives on the Web. He can be a computer scientist, a musician, a poet or someone else. You can recognize him by a very specific, not very neat appearance and even more specific humor. Usually he is nocturnal, and therefore it is easiest to catch him on the site late at night. This is almost always a chronic dreamer and philosopher, so in his profile or in his letters you will surely find poems or some lengthy philosophical discourses about life.
What to fear? This type of men is prone to long virtual communication. However, if you are a romantic girl or you are just bored of sitting at a computer, and a real romance and urgent sex are not included in your plans, then you are guaranteed a very exciting correspondence. And with a certain perseverance, you can even pull such a man out of his virtual world and build a very real relationship with him.
"Humorist"
How to recognize? If you stumble upon a photograph that is turned upside down, the face on it looks like a reflection in a crooked mirror, or instead of a man there is a smiling hamster on it, be sure that you have a “Humorist” in front of you. This is almost certainly a man in the "all evening in the arena" style. On the phone or at a meeting, he will pour out jokes (sometimes, however, absolutely unfunny) and radiate a sea of optimism.
What to fear? Nothing in particular! It is quite difficult to imagine such a man next to you for a long time, but to use him as a kind of “inoculation of a good mood” - why not. Communication with him will be easy and fun, and sex will be exciting. In addition, you can guarantee that no matter how your relationship develops, you will later remember them without unnecessary worries.
"Inadequate"
How to recognize? Actually, the name of this type exhaustively describes it. Although the degree of inadequacy can be very different: from mild harmless "odds" to very severe medical cases. Visible at first glance, manifestations can be anything: from strange photographs to no less strange questionnaires and letters.
What to fear? Tip: if something in the questionnaire immediately strained you and seemed to you not too normal, listen to yourself and do not waste time on correspondence (and even more so on meetings!). Surely the first impression will be correct. After all, there are a lot more normal men here!
"The Bored Married Man"
How to recognize? In 90% of cases, married men do not try to hide their marital status. They openly write that they are looking for new sensations in sex, light flirting, or even an affair on the side. Unfortunately, there is another 10% who stubbornly pretend to be free and hang on your ears, arguing that they are only interested in long-term relationships and marriage. Here, the signs of recognition are the same as in ordinary life: an untanned mark on the finger from a wedding ring, unwillingness to give a home phone number, constant employment in the evenings and on weekends, etc.
What to fear? If you yourself are married and you don’t need anything serious from such acquaintances, then this option will surely suit you very much. In other cases, you will get a classic and unresolved romance with a married man. It is especially sad if you find out about his marital status too late, after you have managed to lose your head.
"Gigolo"
How to recognize? Even on the most decent and respectable dating sites there are always males who are absolutely openly looking for wealthy women here. It is much more difficult to recognize the hidden gigolo. Indeed, at first glance, his profile may not cause any suspicion. But according to some alarming signs (especially if there are several of them at once), preliminary conclusions can be drawn. So, be careful if:
What to fear? It all depends on your capabilities and his needs. Perhaps everything will cost a few expensive gifts that you will give him, or perhaps ... However, the dangers posed by such men are always the same. And it doesn't matter where you met him - on the Internet, at a trendy resort or in a supermarket.
"Sexually Horny"
How to recognize? Well, there is nothing to recognize here! Everyone will tell you the corresponding photo (sometimes extremely indecent) and the text in the questionnaire. Some of these men are looking for new sexual adventures here, some offer their services, so to speak, “for the love of art”, and some for money (a more frank version of “Alphonse”). And for people with some non-standard sexual views, the Internet often becomes the only way to get to know their own kind.
What to fear? Acquaintance with such a man is like playing Russian roulette. Acquaintance can develop according to any scheme, up to a criminal one. However, if you lack thrills so much that you are ready for such an acquaintance, it makes no sense to warn you about anything. We are adults and roughly imagine the consequences of such steps.
As surveys of men show, what is written in your questionnaire worries them very little. Alas, but even here they “love with their eyes”! And most of the time it's all about the photos. That is why the success of your Internet hunting will largely depend on them. Here are some helpful tips on this topic:
If you do not want to post your photos on the site, be sure to write that you will be happy to send them by mail. However, keep in mind that the absence of a person in the questionnaire reduces your chances of getting to know each other dozens of times.
MOSCOW, July 6 - RIA Novosti. Most Russians have found their soul mate through friends and acquaintances, many meet their future spouses at work, via the Internet or resort to the help of matchmakers, according to a HeadHunter survey commissioned by RIA Novosti. Experts assessed which acquaintances are more likely to end in a wedding.
The Day of Family, Love and Fidelity has been celebrated in Russia on July 8 since 2008. The idea of the holiday is based on the ancient legend of Saints Peter and Fevronia of Murom, taken as a model of marital relations. This day is intended to draw attention to the Russian family as the custodian of spiritual and moral values. Every year, the organizing committee of the holiday, which is headed by the wife of the Prime Minister of the Russian Federation Svetlana Medvedeva, on this day presents the best families in Russia with a public award -.
A HeadHunter poll showed that 27% of married Russians found their soul mate through acquaintances. The next line in terms of popularity among dating places was shared by work and study (19% and 18% respectively). In other cases, respondents noted that they met their future spouse on the street or in a nightclub, found it on the Internet or with the help of marriage agencies and matchmakers.
Without a break from production
According to the survey, office romances happened in the life of every fourth Russian. This was admitted by 27% of the respondents. Another 19% of respondents did not have such experience, but they would not refuse the opportunity to start a relationship with a colleague. 53% of Russians prefer not to mix work and personal life.
As a rule, an office romance does not last long, only for 39% of the survey participants it dragged on for a year or more. For 46% of respondents, an affair at work lasted from a month to six months, for another 15% - a little more than six months.
The vast majority of office romances are doomed to failure, the statistics draws a disappointing conclusion: 63% of Russians surveyed did not have an affair. Only in 15% of respondents, an office romance grew into family relationships. However, do not despair, all the same statistics show that 8% of Russians have a civil marriage, and another 15% of those surveyed continue to meet. It is possible that office romances of these couples will grow into strong married couples in the future.
It is noteworthy that 11% of married respondents do not exclude the possibility of having a love affair with one of their colleagues.
Office romance with a sequel
According to psychotherapist Konstantin Olkhovy, office romances are divided into two categories: the first end in a long and stable relationship, the second are short-term.
"It is better to avoid short-term office romances. When such relationships break up, in addition to heart wounds, former partners also get a whole bunch of work-related problems," the expert says.
Sexologist, psychotherapist, full member of the Russian Scientific Sexological Society Evgeny Kulgavchuk is sure that the success of an office romance depends on the mood with which it arises. If a couple initially starts a relationship only for the purpose of entertainment, in order to escape from everyday work, the future in the form of creating a family for such a union is unlikely.
"In this case, another animator will take the place of one. If people feel unity, they can solve problems together, they are like-minded, then such relationships can have a good future. If people are able to switch from work to leisure, then working together improves relationships, because people always have something to talk about, and there is a good feeling of a real team," he said.
Olkhovoy noted that often the gap between colleagues leads to the dismissal of one of the partners. “People who met at work will somehow intersect with each other even after parting. If there was a mutual attitude between them for an easy relationship, then it is still possible to avoid a negative atmosphere in the team. But if someone was counting on a long-term relationship, and someone for short-term, then these relationships will end tragically. Someone will have to quit," Olkhovoy is sure.
Meanwhile, HeadHunter President Yuri Virovets is confident that employers should not interfere with the personal relationships of their employees.
"People should not be forbidden to fall in love with their colleagues. You cannot create such rules within the company, because they will not work anyway. And if the relationship began to interfere with business, then it would be right if the manager invites the couple to a conversation, and together they try to find a solution" , he emphasized.
Virovets also believes that serious office romances, on the contrary, can even benefit the company. "Romantic relationships between colleagues give birth to successful business projects, make people move forward and strive for more, even when much has already been achieved," he said.
A survey by HeadHunter showed that 11% of Russians had an affair on the Internet.
The Internet is convenient in communication, as it optimizes time, but finding true love online is not easy, Kulgavchuk believes.
"Of course, there are many people who are tuned in for entertainment. The wealth of choice sometimes plays a cruel joke. After all, some are immersed in the process, forgetting about the result. Nevertheless, I recommend that my patients almost always use this method, but as an additional one," he said .
At the same time, the sexologist emphasized that it is important to observe safety precautions when meeting on the Internet, which helps to avoid disappointment and not waste time on a hopeless relationship. “If you meet these conditions and understand who you are and who you are looking for, the probability of finding your soul mate is not at all illusive,” he said.
Olkhova advises to perceive online dating sites as a database. “If a person met on the site with someone who is interesting to him, and if a meeting in real life did not happen after a few days, then you should not continue this relationship. It must be remembered that many regard such resources as an entertainment service,” he says .
Olkhoy believes that thematic forums and sites are more suitable for dating on the Internet, when people are connected by certain common interests.
Secrets of matchmakers
The services of third parties for finding a soul mate, for example, matchmakers, are still very popular.
Kulgavchuk explained that the matchmaker is a kind of intermediary who can adequately evaluate both parties in order to reduce the percentage of disappointment. However, don't just rely on it.
“I myself often act in this role when a patient or a patient describes his potential soul mate. We assess the potential of a couple, help to get to know each other better “on the shore.” However, a person must still actively seek his own destiny. help, but do not expect that the matchmaker, like a store, will give you the goods you need, ”said the sexologist.
Matchmaker Olga Belova noted that only those people who are tuned specifically to create a family, and not to easy flirting, turn to her.
"Who is too lazy to look for a future spouse - he sits on the Internet, who is desperate to find a soulmate - also sits on the Internet, because he no longer hopes for anything. Those men and women who approach the issue of creating a family very seriously turn to matchmakers, who think who will be the father or mother of his child. These are people who want to understand who they will live with for the rest of their lives, "she explained.
Belova noted that most often the services of matchmakers are used by those people who are interested in the specific characteristics of the future spouse: age, education, field of activity. They are also interested in who the parents of the alleged second half are.
According to Belova, there is a high probability that real feelings will arise between the people whom the matchmaker introduced.
“I introduce people to each other, and how they will communicate further, they will tell me later. The conditions are as close to natural as possible. The meeting takes place in real life, where it is convenient and comfortable for them, not under the control of third parties. More than a third of my couples join in marriage. Two-thirds continue to meet with different people until they find their own, "she said.
Another matchmaker of one of the oldest marriage agencies in Moscow told the agency that rational people who do not want to waste their emotions on finding a soul mate turn to her. The success of the selection of candidates depends on how people are ready to meet potential spouses and how adequate their requests are.
“A person must be open, must be ready to share information and assess himself sensibly. It should be noted that mostly rational people come to us. They have taken place in life and no longer want or are not able to waste time on unsuccessful relationships,” she said .
The Internet has entered people's lives and has become a medium of communication. In future internet dating may become dominant. The familiar environment and traditional ways of dating do not allow to cover more options to find the right marriage partner. That's why many people talk about online dating as "the ability to narrow down the search for people to a certain circle" and "the ability to view many options in a short period of time."
According to Statistic Brain, the online dating industry generated $1.049 billion in annual revenue in 2012. It costs an average of $239 per client to visit the site. dating websites value their reputation and offer algorithms for individual selection of partners. For example, a profile on the dating site Eharmony contains 400 questions. Therefore, meeting a potential marriage partner online means the accuracy of choice and, as a result, higher satisfaction with marriage.
In 2006, among the 30 million Americans in the United States, 15% are those people who maintain long-term relationships or marry after meeting online. In 2007, one in 44 couples in America met online.
In 2013, out of 54 million single Americans, 40 million searched for dating online. Of these, 52.4% are men, 47.6% are women. 71% of dating site users believe in love at first sight. 33% of women have sex the first time they meet after internet dating. The average duration of courtship after online dating is 18.5 months.
In 2013, American university researchers conducted a survey among 19,131 Internet users about finding happiness in family life as a result of internet dating. Here's what they found. The average age of participants in the online survey was 38 years. At the time of online dating, 92% of the participants surveyed were still married, 2.5% were separated, 5% were divorced, and 0.5% were widows. Almost half of the spouses who met through the Internet live in cities. It can be assumed that the inhabitants of the countryside already know each other, and the urban environment implies the presence of hundreds of thousands of unfamiliar potential partners.
However, the internet as a place to meet is still a risky business. More than half of dating site users say they are dating someone else at the same time. The share of sexual crimes, according to online dating statistics, accounts for no more than 10%. The articles and all kinds of recommendations “How to recognize a married man” and “The dangers of online dating” remain the most read. Approximately six out of ten people who visited dating sites for a year or more made a date at least 6 times before finding the partner they were looking for.
