It so happened that I met a girl from another city through social networks. From the photos it looks normal. We started communicating. It turned out to be very interesting person. They could discuss anything. The best part is that she understood me perfectly. There was no need to explain and prove everything. She skillfully kept up the conversation, and I really liked it.
Communication became closer, and I began to like her words more and more. And at one moment, I realized that I wanted to be with her. It wasn't passion or love, just a desire to be with a person who understands and appreciates you. In general, I became attached to her and her words.
We began to think about a serious future together. The girl is not ugly, she understands me, it is clear that she is not stupid, she has similar worldviews on issues that are key to me. A good and homely girl who can support and will always be there. Accumulated the required amount money, bought her a nice gift and went. I was waiting for the meeting of my life that would change everything. But…
I wish I hadn't done this. Didn't destroy the illusion of an ideal girl. A shket was waiting for me, always sniffling. She chatted constantly. She just didn't shut up. She argued and interrupted. Behavior, to put it mildly, is not feminine. I would say a boy in a skirt. Apparently the Internet hid her manner of communication, because written language different from conversations. If I had met her for real, I would never have even looked in her direction.
And she didn't like me either. She said that I was too calm and gloomy. And she wanted adventure and romance. She wanted to meet a prince not on a white horse, who would come and take her to wondrous distances. And I ended up an ordinary guy, without a horse and distances. So she called me boring. Of course, I did not “build” my happy future with her. We remained pen pals, but it didn’t last long.
Very good example what happens when communicating at a distance. This is what electronic communication means. Of course, you can say that it’s in vain. Maybe something worked out. Opposites attract and all that. However, I believe that this is not an option. Yes, deep down she is a “soul mate” to me, but outwardly she is a complete finish. I think it’s wrong to make a person your own, and it’s not fair to him. It's easier to change and find another one.
When you find your girlfriend, all her disadvantages seem like big advantages to you. After all, you forgive them, don’t notice them, and idolize them. And then I immediately realized that it was not “mine.” And it was obvious and stupid, because communication without meetings is a waste of time.
I do not deny the usefulness of electronic communication. However, I think that first you need to get to know a person face to face, and then, if absolutely necessary, switch to online.
Therefore, now I only meet people in person. You immediately see the whole situation. And you can always have a heart-to-heart talk. It is much more effective to go out and meet a girl than to sit on dating sites and so on. Some will say there is no time. Eat perfect place for dating - the gym. Immediately after work or on a day off. Girls come there, in most cases, just to meet each other. Just don't eat them with your eyes. They'll think he's a maniac.
November 29, 2017, at 09:52
If a girl lives in a different city than the one you live in, such a relationship is called long-distance love. This type relationships have their own characteristics. Long-distance relationships need to be maintained carefully and carefully.
IF A GIRL LIVES IN ANOTHER CITY, WHAT DANGERS ARE THERE IN THIS CASE
Relationships in general are when you and your loved one are close, take care of each other, show attention to each other, hug, kiss and, of course, communicate in person.
If you live in different cities, much of the above becomes impossible, since you simply won’t have the opportunity to do it all on a daily basis.
You can imagine your relationship in the image of a fire that needs constant addition of wood so that it does not go out. How to throw this same firewood when you and your girlfriend live in different cities?
This firewood is your mutual relationship (kisses, caresses, spending time together). Therefore, if you live in different cities all the time, this fire will someday go out.
The duration of the relationship until it fades away will be determined by your love and the wood that you threw into the fire before the girl left for her city, and how much water will be added to your fire.
It is necessary to realize that people tend to want love right now and here, so feelings will inevitably fade away, and new relationships will gradually flare up, since there are also guys living in other cities, some of whom may like your girl, so they will court her by adding water into the fire, which will lead to its gradual extinction.
WHAT TO DO IF A GIRL LIVES IN ANOTHER CITY
The first condition that must be fulfilled in this case is to ensure by any means that you soon begin to live together, that is, in the same city. This is exactly what we should strive for.
At the same time, you need to protect your love, not letting the fire go out. To complete this task, you need to meet and visit your beloved as often as possible. You need to talk on the phone, give gifts - in general, look after her as best you can and know how.
The most important condition: if a girl lives in another city, you should make every effort during each meeting to ensure that she remains completely satisfied sexually, otherwise your instincts will prevail and your chosen one will begin to cheat on you.
To maintain relationships you need to build joint plans for the future, otherwise another guy will do this with your girlfriend instead of you. For example, it is necessary to plan as quickly as possible for one of you to move to another, the birth of children, etc.
You need to constantly send her photos and communicate via video so that each of you remembers the other’s face. This will make it possible to save your relationship if it lasts at a distance.
If a girl lives in a different city than you, then this is called love at a distance. This is a very sensitive relationship that must be maintained with a certain amount of care and attention.
IF A GIRL LIVES IN ANOTHER CITY, THAN IT IS DANGEROUS
What is a relationship? This is when you are close and allow each other to be taken care of, receive attention, hugs, kisses and, of course, personal communication. If a girl lives in another city, then both you and the girl will be deprived of most of this, because you simply will not be able to meet every day. We recommend that you read
Now imagine that your relationship is a fire, into which you regularly need to add wood so that it does not go out, but how to add wood if you and the girl live in different cities. In this case, firewood refers to mutual relationships, such as caresses, kisses and spending time together. Therefore, whether you like it or not, if you continue to live in different cities, your fire will sooner or later go out. The duration of the relationship before it fades away will depend on your love and the wood that you put into the fire before the girl left, as well as on how much cold water will be poured into your relationship (the fire).
You must understand that a person wants to be loved here and now, and therefore whether he wants it or not, your feelings will fade away, and the spark of a new relationship will slowly flare up. After all, in another city there are also men who like your girl, which means they will look after her, so to speak, adding water to your fire and slowly extinguishing it.
WHAT TO DO IF A GIRL LIVES IN ANOTHER CITY
If your beloved girl lives in another city, then the very first action you should take is to make sure that you soon live together in the same city, or at least strive very hard for this. We recommend that you read
In addition, you need to preserve your love and not let the flame of the fire go out, and for this, meet your beloved as often as possible, come to her. Communicate by phone, give gifts, that is, look after her like never before, devote all your free time to her.
Don’t forget to send her photos and communicate via video so that you don’t forget your faces and this will allow you to maintain your relationship for a long time. long distance. We recommend that you read
Hello, This is Lesha Doc and in this article I will answer the question of a guy who found himself in a difficult situation
And the subject of his letter sounds like this: "The girl lives in another city"
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I'll answer you personally.
My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)
And here is his letter that he sent to me:
Hi Lesha! Thank you for your knowledge. The story is this, about three months ago, I met a girl on one of the forums, she lives, accordingly, in another city.
We started talking liked each other both externally and in dialogues, and after some time she expressed a desire to come to me and see me in person. At the end of January she arrives, as agreed, we spend time together for two days and two nights, after which she goes to her place.
We continue to have quite warm communication in the future, I try to hint that in the future one of us might move to be closer, to which she replies that she won't move anywhere, and so that I, they say, should not move either, because if something suddenly doesn’t work out, she will feel guilty about this whole matter and all that. At the same time, she continues to say that she loves her and will ride herself.
Our next meeting was in a third city, where we agreed to go and visit our mutual friend (also from the forum). However, about a week before the trip she talks about that he doesn’t see any prospects in relationships, and that we are unlikely to suit each other. At the same time, she says that she agrees to go, but without any obligations there... I decided not to return the tickets, I think, okay, we’ll figure out what happened on the spot.
In fact, we went and had a very good time there, as a couple (she spent the night with me all three nights), however, upon leaving, she again stated, that we are not a couple, everything that happened was good, but, nevertheless, we will not build relationships. I took her to the airport (I was traveling by train myself), said thank you for everything, and goodbye. And I really thought that I would no longer communicate with her.
Not so. As soon as I got on the train, she starts texting me with the meaning “What are you doing? How are you? How are you? come home quickly, I’m waiting for you on Skype and so on.” We continue virtual communication, during which she says that she doesn’t mind coming again, I hang my ears joyfully, but...
A few days ago she states that suddenly, out of nowhere, a young man appeared. Moreover, from her words, this is supposedly not one of the ex-boyfriends, not someone whom she had been pining about for a long time, but could not get along with, not someone with whom she communicated at the same time as me, but just some person. She supposedly knew a long time ago, but there was never a relationship, and then suddenly I decided to get together with him and, they say, this is all serious and for a long time...
I say again ok, thanks for saying, bye! And again I think that’s all. But again, that was not the case... She starts writing to me again for some reason, we argue, to the point where she says, so that I don’t write to her anymore and blocks me on Skype, but the next day he comes back again and apologizes.
He says, let’s communicate, and writes to me constantly... How are you, what are you doing, and I was there, went there, I’ll eat something, and so on, and so on almost every time as soon as I appear on the Internet... Oh, I also wrote on the forum that it doesn’t matter wants to return to my city again(not to me personally supposedly, but just to visit), knowing that I will read all this...
Now the questions are: what could all this mean? Why does she constantly write to me when she allegedly has young man, is spreading information about the desire to visit my city? Could some guy just out of the blue, whom she had known supposedly for a hundred years, but didn’t want to be with him and then suddenly wanted to, so much so that for a long time? Well, as a bonus, the question is, how should I behave in this situation? What to do if the girl lives in another city?
So, let's understand this difficult situation.
What is the guy doing?
The guy, due to an unrealistic fear of meeting girls, constantly hangs out on some lousy forums where girls of the most incomprehensible stripes gather. It is on this forum that the guy and I met the same strange girl, who lives who knows where, but the guy was still incredibly happy about it.
After a few days of communication, the guy understands (from dialogues and photographs) that this girl is of unearthly beauty and just perfect for him by all indicators.
Why did he jump to conclusions about her so quickly?
Yes, because he has been alone for a long time and does not know how to make acquaintances, as a result of which he has an unrealistic need for a girl. In other words, any girl who has any contact with him... automatically becomes an ideal for him and an unearthly queen with whom you must certainly create a relationship. And the fact that she lives several thousand kilometers away from him is all nonsense and is not an obstacle to true love.
Then a long-awaited meeting took place, where the girl seduced the boy, then another one, and then the girl began using manipulation to destroy his psyche. And naturally, the guy will eat all this, since he has neither the strength, nor the desire, nor the balls to leave her.
What is the girl doing?
I’ll say right away that the girl with masculine character who hates all men without exception, her the main task hurt any man and the more pain, the better, this is what she gets incredible pleasure from. Naturally, this is due to the fact that in childhood she most likely received psychological trauma and now her psyche is sick and clearly not healthy.
A girl meets a boy on a forum, she does this constantly for many years. And she makes acquaintances on forums out of boredom and in order to somehow cheer herself up and raise her self-esteem, she is looking for weak, driven guys, on which he then comes off hard.
Her main task is to win over the guy, and then when he is already firmly hooked, the girl begins to conduct various experiments on him.
For example, a girl slept with a guy, making sure that the guy was pining for her and at the peak of feelings and emotions, the girl a couple of days later says she has another boyfriend, with whom she will create a normal relationship. And after that he looks at the reaction of the guy he follows and enjoys the process.
And a guy like that usually starts going crazy becomes depressed, some commit suicide, etc. And the girl just gets an incredible buzz from it.
Then time passes, the guy calms down and begins to forget this girl, and this bitch appears in his life again and says that she really wants to start all over again and is ready to come to him. Naturally, the boy falls for this game again and again thinks only about her, and after a while the girl breaks up with him again and again hurts the guy.
And this topic can continue for years, as a result, in a year this guy will be scary to look at, since there will be nothing left of his male core. He will be like an amoeba, and normal girls will shy away from him.
What need to do?
You need to run away from girls like these and don’t believe a single word she says to you, all her actions are aimed at breaking you and subjugating you, hurting you.
Plus, long-distance relationships are complete nonsense; only those guys who are afraid to meet a girl live in their city get to know each other at a distance.
This article is just a small part of what is on my sites, they contain a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics that interest you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with girls, without wasting your time. Now I have 2 sites: lesha-dok..
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What guys say about the articles:
“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only your relationships with girls will change, but your whole life in general. Now I live like a MAN, and the girls feel it))”
Egor, Moscow
“Thank you so much, Lesha!!! The tips from your articles are useful, they change your own psychology and attitude towards the world and towards girls. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!"
Maxim, Ukraine
“Alexey, thank you so much for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of behavior between guys and girls. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with girls and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)”
Psychologist's answer:
Nikita, hello.
Thank you for your trust. Answering your question. Is it normal to build a relationship with a girl who is 4 years younger than you [i.e. she is 14 years old], living in another country, won’t you look “something wrong” in this case. You use words such as “is this normal”, “some kind of pedophile”. You note that you like each other, are dear to each other, your parents practically support your relationship, calls and correspondence. You write that you seem to be made for each other.
Let's go in order. Sympathy, interest in a representative of the opposite sex, the desire to build relationships as such are natural and normal feelings and desires. Your affiliation as citizens to different countries, has nothing to do with your relationship. In addition, Russia and Ukraine, be that as it may today, are essentially not very different countries.
I assume that you bring to the fore your concern about the young age of your chosen one. In terms of age, you both fall into the age category of early adolescence, but. Be that as it may, your girlfriend was barely just yesterday ordinary and just a girl. She only enters the category of early youth. While you are just leaving it and moving into the category of mature youth. You are actually a young man tomorrow. You are an adult - she is not. These 4 years of difference of yours are actually not just 4 years now, obviously you feel it yourself. If she were 30 and you were 34, there would be no difference. You need to understand this.
Meeting in real life, becoming friends, getting to know each other better, getting to know each other as families is wonderful and commendable, in fact, in just a couple of years you can become spouses. Everyone knows stories about young couples who have known each other since early age and subsequently, despite the apparent immaturity, they became a good family. Formally, officially, I, as a medical psychologist, am obliged to inform you that a 14-year-old girl is not ready physiologically and mentally to live a full sexual life. Regardless of external maturity or interest in this aspect of female-male relationships. Love also means caring for the welfare and future of a loved one. Are you ready to protect her with your behavior now, take care of her health and future? By the way, the people around you, your relatives, your acquaintances, etc., will evaluate you based on these criteria.
Regarding "pedophilia". Pedophilia is considered to be a disorder of sexual preference, including crimes of a sexual nature against minors. It occurs mainly in males. IN in a broad sense"pedophilia" means sexual attraction to children. Men suffering from this disorder do not experience “normal” sexual attraction to their peers. They are “attracted” by underdevelopment, immaturity and infantilism. However, it is worth understanding that a normal, mentally healthy guy may be attracted to the tenderness, femininity or fragility of a girl. This does not mean that he is mentally ill. Take all this into account. Be courageous and wise. Good luck to you!
