What does it mean to love?

To love is to know the person you love

I know many aspects of another person’s personality: not only advantages, but also disadvantages, vices and the inconsistency of his nature. I am aware of his thoughts and feelings. I know what is going on in his soul. I know what is hidden behind the social and role mask, and I know what this person really is like.

To love means to care about the well-being of the one you love.

My concern is dictated by sincere love. She does not put pressure on her loved one, and I do not turn him into my property. On the contrary, my care is a source of freedom for both of us. If I care about you, I also care about you developing as a person. I hope you can realize your full potential. This means that I do not stop you from doing what you are doing, although at times I experience some discomfort.

To love means to respect the dignity of the person I love

If I love you, I see in you an independent person who does not depend on me. I respect your moral values, thoughts and feelings. I do not insist that you give up your individuality in order to conform to my ideas about you. I can allow you to maintain your identity, I will even contribute to this. I will not treat you like a thing, and I will not use you to satisfy my needs.

Loving means taking responsibility for your loved one.

If I love you, I am sensitive to most of your personal needs. Such responsibility does not mean that I will do for you what you are able to do yourself. I will begin to live your life for you. Responsibility is understanding that my personality and my actions affect you. But in many ways it depends on me whether you are happy or not. A lover is capable of both offending and neglecting the one he loves. In this sense, for me to love means to take responsibility for how my behavior and my actions will affect you.

Love is the improvement of both: the lover and the beloved

I love you and this love makes me a better person. For me, you are an incentive, and I want to fully realize my potential. My love is the same incentive for you. By caring for each other and feeling his care, each of us improves. We share life experiences with each other, which does not detract from the importance of each of us as individuals.

To love means to be devoted to the one you love

Love is devotion to the one you love. Devotion does not mean complete abandonment of oneself in the name of another or a permanent relationship. But it means an unconditional willingness to be with your loved one when it’s hard for him, when he is tormented by doubts, when he suffers and overcomes difficulties. It is also a willingness to share calm and joyful moments with him.

Loving means being vulnerable

I trusted you and opened up. You can hurt me, reject me, and I can even lose you. But despite the fear of losing you, I must allow you to become a significant person for me - that’s what love is. Since you are not perfect, you may very well make me suffer. There are no guarantees in love, and no one can promise you that it will last forever. To love means to participate in the life of another person and share with him the experience that he gains. I love you, and therefore I want to spend time with you and share significant aspects of your life with you. But at the same time, I want to share important events in my life with you.

To love means to trust the one you love

I love you, and therefore I believe that you will accept my care and my love. I believe that you will not consciously make me suffer. I believe that for you I am a person who can be loved. I believe that you will not leave me. I believe that our love is mutual. If we trust each other, we have nothing to hide from each other, there is no need to wear masks and pretend. We can show each other our true selves.

Loving means trusting yourself

Trust in your loved one plays a huge role in any relationship. But just as important is the ability to trust yourself. If you hesitate to rely on yourself, you are unlikely to be able to trust the person who wants to share love with you.

To love means to be able to accept imperfections.

In relationships based on love, there are moments of emptiness when we are almost ready to give up on everything. There are moments of tension and moments when we feel that it is impossible to break off the relationship. True love is not cloudless happiness. However, we are able to survive difficult times because we remember our past and can imagine our future if we understand our problems and put an end to them.

Love is freedom

Love is given freely. My love for you does not depend on whether you live up to my expectations or not. A person experiencing true love does not say: “I will love you when you become perfect or when you become what I want you to be.” True love is a gift that is given to you without asking for anything in return. It is not limited by any preconditions.

Loving a person means needing him

If I am nothing without you, then my love for you cannot be called truly free. If you leave me, I will be sad and lonely, but I can survive. If I cannot survive without you, then I am not free and cannot question our relationship or criticize your actions. Afraid of losing you, I will settle for less than I need, and this will lead to resentment.

To love means to identify yourself with the person you love.

If I love you, I can empathize with your feelings and look at the world through your eyes. This is possible because I see myself in you, and you see yourself in me. Such closeness does not mean that we are inseparable. Separation and distance are sometimes very important for the relationship of people who love each other. Distance can not only give new impetus to relationships, but can also help lovers discover new traits in themselves. Thanks to this, when they meet, they will see each other in a new light. The paradox of love is that two beings, becoming one, remain individuals.

True love is impossible without adequate self-esteem

To love means to free yourself from the illusion of complete control.

The more energetically I strive for complete control, the worse I succeed. Love involves giving up trying to control everything and everyone. It involves openness to the events that happen around us. This openness means that a person is capable of surprise. The more unexpected there is in love, the longer it lives. Predictability kills love. Surprise and amazement are the essence of love. To turn love into a prisoner of everyday life means to deprive it of passion and lose it forever.

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Love is the main feeling on Earth. All life in the Universe begins with it and continues to exist thanks to this feeling. It has always been this way. And at the same time, man has always been looking for an exact definition of what it means to love? Who is a loving person and how should he behave? What evidence of love is there? How to understand that you are loved? We will try to give at least an approximate answer to these questions.

What does it mean to love a person?

At all times, a person has needed constant proof that he is loved and someone needs him. As a result, many signs and immutable truths appeared, the presence of which indicates that a person loves or is loved. Many of these truths have remained unchanged for many centuries. Let's give an example of just some of them:

To love means to forgive. Any person has the right to make a mistake. And no one is able to find as many excuses for the guilty person as the one who loves him. This is one of the great virtues - love sees no evil.
To love means to stop comparing. A real feeling can only be for one person. If in a relationship one of the partners compares the other with those he had before, then the sincerity of his feelings will have to be doubted.
Falling in love does not mean loving. We are talking here about the feeling of falling in love - short-lived, passionate and blind. This feeling is not true love. If the first platonic affection turns into a long-term serious relationship, then only in this case can we talk about true love.
To love means to believe. One of the most relevant truths for many modern couples. It means there is trust between a couple in love. The same thing as loving means trusting. Only on mutual trust in each other are real strong relationships built. Faith in a partner is the core on which families have been held for many centuries.
Cheating means he doesn't love you. A common and most often erroneous opinion. In many families, betrayal does not occur due to lack of love. Most often, spouses decide to cheat for the sake of new sensations and to satisfy the need to be needed, to appear young, etc. Most of those who decide to cheat on their other half claim that sex and love are two different things. What is characteristic is that the majority are men.
Love in spite of. Many people know first-hand what it means to love in spite of themselves. Each person has a certain set of advantages and almost twice as many disadvantages. True love does not pay attention to the negative sides of the personality. It is usually customary to say that a person is loved not for some of his virtues, but in spite of his shortcomings. Those. they love him as he is, without embellishments and illusions.

For each person, with his individual view of the world, upbringing and character, there is his own idea of what it means to truly love and what it means to be able to love. One American scientist has compiled a list of several steps that, in his opinion, should lead to true and pure love in a relationship:

In any relationship, it is worth remembering that love is, first of all, a voluntary sacrifice. And everyone decides for himself why he is doing it, and whether the person who is nearby is worth the time and effort that goes into reviving true feelings.

It’s not immediately clear why you think about a certain person so often, why you worry about him or her, why you see him or her in your dreams, why you miss him and what that tickling feeling somewhere in your chest is - it’s probably love. Love is an abstract substance that relates to the sensual manifestations of a person and practically defies any explanation. This is the strongest, most unexpected and most desperate human feeling that drives crazy actions, surprises and a huge number of sacrifices for the sake of a loved one.

Like many other human feelings, love has no logical definitions, and even after millions of years of existence of this feeling, none of the greatest philosophers and thinkers could describe the symptoms of this feeling. Loving a person means not only being emotionally attached, but also feeling the need for physical satisfaction from being nearby. There is no and cannot be a cause-and-effect relationship when feelings for a certain person suddenly arise, because this is one of the few feelings that, as they say, “happens in heaven.”

The first steps towards this strong feeling take place with a less strong feeling - falling in love. During this period, a person in love begins to feel new feelings towards the person with whom he is in love. Affection appears, a thirst for communication, a reverent gaze, tenderness and a desire to create a miracle. Falling in love is replaced by a stronger feeling - love. It is this feeling that allows you to see familiar things in a completely different light, and you should not be afraid of it, although most often it is impossible to understand why you love this person and are ready for completely unusual actions for the sake of this feeling.

Love is a multifaceted feeling, and “loving a person” has different meanings for different people, or rather, each person puts different feelings into this concept. For someone, loving means respect, pampering, holding hands, talking tenderly, but at the same time, for another person, love means passion, the desire to be around around the clock, to control, not to give to anyone and to suffocate alone. But no matter how strong the feelings a lover may experience, not everyone can experience such an unearthly feeling, and if it really visits a person, then this is great luck, which must be appreciated and enjoyed every moment of it.

The biggest test of love is time and distance. Lovers experience the strongest feelings in the first months of communication; they try to get enough of each other, and the relationship develops at incredible speed. At this time, lovers are as if in a bubble, away from the whole world, and they absolutely love it. Then the lovers slowly return to normal and try to change their old life, finding a place for new feelings. During this period, the bright fire that burned for the first few months begins to subside, and that testing time for love occurs when it takes on a more persistent appearance. And if even after several years the feeling of love does not leave the once in love people and they are still in their improvised bubble, it means that their destinies crossed for good reason. Further, feelings such as respect, understanding, patience, care, attention, physical intimacy and many of those that help this feeling not fade away for many years are added to love.

Love is an interweaving of emotional and physical attraction. Love is one of the few feelings that changes over time and receives different sensual facets and possibilities. It is so unknown and inexplicable that at times it is even contradictory, because even such a feeling as hatred very often gives rise to love and vice versa. Loving a person means loving everything about him, no matter what, and despite everything, while continuing to live in your own “bubble”.

The theme of love has remained relevant for hundreds of years. There are many interpretations of this concept, each of which has both adherents and opponents.

But What does it mean to love a person? What is the “process” of love itself?

After all, few would argue that love is of great importance in everyone’s life, regardless of what emotions it is associated with.

What is this feeling?

How to explain what love is?

Love is briefly defined as inherent in man feeling of deep sympathy, attachment and desire for an object.

This feeling is purely intimate and selective in relation to the “object” of love.

Its presence in life is often perceived by a person as a kind of “indicator of happiness.”

From a scientific point of view

Scientists who have studied the concept of love from the point of view of biology and chemistry have come to the conclusion that its basis is nothing more than normal biochemical processes of the human body.

In particular, in the brain of a person in a state of love, phenylethylamine is actively produced - a substance that gives a feeling of omnipotence and “grown wings”, and oxytocin - a hormone that affects the male and female genital organs (as well as milk production in women during lactation) .

Anthropological scientists have come to the conclusion that during the period of passionate love, the active production of dopamine begins, a chemical substance that allows you to experience a feeling of the highest pleasure and satisfaction.

In addition, dopamine has a beneficial effect on certain areas of the brain, minimizing feelings of fear, worry, anxiety and suppressing negative emotions.

Evolutionary scientists view love as a tool for survival. They believe that it is this feeling that contributes to maintaining long-term relationships, uniting and supporting each other in order to withstand dangers and threats from the outside.

According to Freud

The famous psychologist Sigmund Freud was confident that the basis of absolutely any human attachment is a single source - sexual desire(libido).

He argued that the true core of so-called love is a feeling, the main goal of which is only sexual intimacy, completely excluding the spiritual principle.

In all of Freud's works one can trace skeptical and ironic attitude to love and confirmation of the idea that any form of feeling (friendly or loving), as well as any attachment (to parents, to homeland, to profession, etc.) has the same source - sexual.

Meaning in life

The presence of love in life allows a person to experience the whole spectrum the most tender, warm, exciting feelings and emotions.

Often, love becomes a powerful motivation for both external and internal changes: a person in love feels an incredible surge of strength, the ability to “move mountains” and “embrace the whole world.”

fades into the background irritability, aggressiveness and apathy, “revaluation of values” occurs. Life becomes harmonious, rich, filled with warmth, kindness and joy.

Psychology

Psychology views love as a combination of three components:

passion, which manifests itself in sexual attraction;
intimacy in the form of emotional closeness, help, trust;
obligations - mutual fidelity.

Also in psychology, the concepts of fruitful and unfruitful love are distinguished:

Fruitful(mature) love is a feeling based on mutual respect. It involves the manifestation of care, sincere interest, mutual knowledge, inspiration, pleasure and self-development.
Unfruitful(immature, selfish) love is a destructive feeling in which the relationship is overwhelmed with negative emotions associated with the strict control of one person by another and an obsessive desire to possess him completely.

How to love a person who loves you? Find out about this from ours.

Psychological criteria

Psychologists have concluded that true love always meets certain criteria:

What is it like?

love-passion who follows sexual instincts, completely devoting herself to the object of love and dissolving in him without a trace;
It is quite short-lived, because over a certain time it either develops into a different type of love or disappears altogether.
Love, the basis of which is the spiritual component (mutual respect, common interests, values). This feeling occurs between friends or relatives.
love, which is based on tenderness, kindness, support and mutual understanding. It is a feeling that unites spouses, parents and children, brothers and sisters;
selfless love, which consists of complete self-sacrifice for the sake of a loved one;
self love, expressed in understanding and acceptance of oneself, satisfaction with one’s own personality. It is this type of love that is fundamental for its other types, since only those who are satisfied with themselves and experience inner harmony are capable of experiencing sincere feelings towards others;
love based on sexual attraction and flirting aimed at obtaining pleasure;
love is pragmatic- a feeling controlled by the mind and based on obtaining self-interest and benefit;
love-mania- a feeling closely related to jealousy to the point of obsession.

What is better: to love or to be loved? find out right now.

What is love?

Be in love- this means disinterestedly, with pleasure and joy, taking care of a loved one, being attentive to his moods, desires, events and incidents in his life.

Loving “quality” is an activity, it is work that needs to be learned and constantly improved.

Ability to love Is this an innate or acquired quality? There is no consensus on this issue. Some are sure that the ability to love is an exclusively innate feeling, and every person, taking his first breath, already a priori knows how to love.

Others argue that the ability to love is an experience acquired over years of mental, spiritual and heartfelt work.

These opinions are unanimous only in that temperament, upbringing, living conditions and clear example allow maximize and improve This is a skill in a person.

Concept of feelings between man and woman

Love for a guy/girl is a combination of love and passion leading to sexual satisfaction.

Over time, they usually fade into the background, being replaced by devotion, compassion, and support. Such love is also called romantic and is designed to create and maintain favorable conditions for procreation.

Love relationships are relationships between partners that go through five:

Psychologist about the types of love in relationships between a man and a woman:

What is falling in love?

Is falling in love an emotion or a feeling?

Falling in love is a strong feeling that has a positive connotation and is directed towards an object.

At the same time, the consciousness of a person in love narrows so much that he can evaluate the object of his feelings exclusively with a “plus” sign, seeing absolutely no shortcomings in character and appearance without noticing disagreements and contradictions in relationships.

At the same time, any positive quality becomes especially significant and valuable.

The condition is unstable, existing in the form of a certain phase: it can subside, end and reappear. When it ends, love can “reincarnate” into another feeling, for example, love.

Difference

The main thing is their emotional depth.

Love- superficial, based on external attractiveness, idealization of the object and “conceiving” of its positive qualities, which in fact do not exist.

While Love allows you to accept a person as he is (without embellishment), along with his strengths and weaknesses.

Love or infatuation? Find out from the video:

True love

True love- this is the final stage of love (after falling in love, satiety, alienation, patience, selflessness and friendship).

As a rule, it arises after years of living together, when partners have learned to respect each other, overcome conflict situations, give in and sacrifice their own interests for the sake of the family.

It is with such stable and harmonious relationships that spiritual intimacy arises between two people.

What does it mean to truly love?

First of all, this means:

understand and accept each other for the sake of general peace;
realize that each individual is a full-fledged person, while together they are one whole;
be able to negotiate, even if there are disagreements;
resolve issues and come to a “common denominator” without being demanding or dissatisfied with each other.

What actions characterize her?

As you know, love determined by actions, namely:

showing concern (even then, they didn’t ask for this for a year);
an expression of sincere interest in all areas of a loved one’s life;
readiness to help and support at any time;
respect for the personal space and interests of the partner.

How is love born and dies? Symptoms of feeling and psychology:

Definitions

Love frustration- this is the state of a person who is in a relationship that brings only negative emotions and feelings (disappointment, anger, pain).

Love addiction - This is a painful manifestation of love with an obsession with another person, causing pain and suffering.

Euphoria of love - this is a strong emotional uplift and a feeling of complete well-being due to the manifestation of love;

Neurotic love - this is love without reciprocity, clouded by anxiety and the inability to openly express one’s feelings.

Selfless love- this is accepting a person no matter what (shortcomings, circumstances).

Manic love - a feeling on the verge of losing reason, in which a person is ready to do everything so that the object of his love does not go to anyone but him.

Physical love - this is the desire for physical intimacy (unity) with a loved one, which involves not only sexual contact, but also the opportunity to see, hear and feel it.

Altruistic love- a high feeling that brings satisfaction simply from the fact that the object of love exists, even if it does not reciprocate.

Latent love- this is hidden love that a person cannot (or does not want) to show.

Pathological love- uncontrolled and repeated manifestation of attention and care towards a partner, in which he feels a complete loss of his own freedom.

passionate love(or romantic) is a feeling of complete absorption of partners with each other, accompanied by extremely strong feelings (joy, anxiety, tenderness, sexual desire).

Love is:

Love is an illusion from a person in whom it only seems that you love.

Love is a myth for those who have never experienced any of the stages of this feeling.

Love is passion, an ardent desire accompanied by strong emotions.

Love is affection, intimacy and devotion based on sympathy for another person.

Love is a habit which over time becomes the basis of a stable and fulfilling feeling.

Love is care, attention and respect, caused by a sincere desire to protect a loved one, help him, and do something pleasant for him.

Disease

Some psychologists tend to equate love (namely falling in love) with painful condition with the following symptoms:

constant and obsessive thoughts about the object;
painful, acute need for reciprocal feelings;
euphoria with reciprocity;
hyper-focus on the object, which leads to ignoring events and problems in one’s own life;
experiencing strong sexual attraction to an object.

Mental disorder

American doctors define love (in particular, falling in love) as acute mental disorder.

The basis for this was an examination of people in love, during which changes in their nervous system were found similar to those that occur in patients with a manic state.

At the same time, “patients” often experience general condition disorders in the form of:

As a rule, the acute stage of the “disease” lasts no more than six months, gradually turning into either a chronic sluggish form, or a latent form of quiet waiting, or spontaneous recovery.

Do I need treatment?

Is love a disease that needs to be cured? If love, like a disease, brings only suffering, disappointment and negative emotions into life, there is only one way out - to be treated. Moreover, it is quite difficult to do this on your own.

It is better to immediately contact a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist, who will help analyze feelings and heal the soul using special techniques, psychoanalysis and even hypnosis.

Sick love - what is it?

The sick name is love-dependence, which brings only pain and suffering. First of all, it is characteristic of people with low self-esteem who did not receive enough parental warmth and attention in childhood.

Main feature a dependent person is a complete lack of love and respect for himself, and suffering is defined as the only “proof” of love for someone.

Love is a huge range of feelings, each of which is characteristic of a certain stage of the relationship between partners.

Constant companions of true, sincere love is joy, satisfaction, inner peace and confidence. Love involves caring, respecting each other's interests and reaching a compromise in any situation.

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