Comic test for teachers

“Unravel the subject matter”

Slide number 1

Presenter 1: Dear teachers! We've encrypted your favorite items. Try to solve them in 30 seconds.

Question No. 1. Which of you has the most indecent item? (Teachers' answers)

The answer is simple. This is MATH. Sorry, but the word “mate” appears twice in your subject.( Slide number 2 )

Presenter 2 (brings in medals) and reads out a poem

What could be more direct, more logical,

How are numbers arranged in orderly rows?

But the subject suddenly became indecent

Doubly so - alas, alas!

This medal is awarded to mathematics teachers:Uglanova Olga Gennadievna, Kikot Tamara Petrovna, Vasilovskaya Valentina Nesterovna, Sizotchenko Elena Nikolaevna.

Presenter 1 Question No. 2. Who has the noisiest object? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 3 )

The correct answer is history.

Museum and archive dust

You inhaled, no doubt,

But as history pleases

Your subject has become noisy and quiet!

This medal is awarded to a history teacher:Leshenok Elena Temurovna.

Presenter 2 Question #3: Who has the funniest item? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 4 )

The correct answer isCI Mia.

Eh, if only Dmitry Mendeleev knew,

That he is busy doing something funny...

Why not giggle?

We don't know him yet!

This medal is awarded to a chemistry teacher:Gorlova Irina Aleksandrovna.

Presenter 1 Question No. 3. Who has the most delicious item? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 5 )

The correct answer is RussianLANGUAGE .

We studied at the institute for five years,

To teach it.

Now put it in sour cream sauce...

What to do with it? Eat, eat!

This medal is awarded to teachers of the Russian language:Kamenskaya Olga Dmitrievna, Pogorelova Ksenia Andreevna, Lizunova Margarita Viktorovna, Demyanchuk Galina Vladimirovna.

Presenter 2 Question No. 4. It turns out that there is a bird subject in the school curriculum. Who teaches it? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 6 )

The correct answer is the basics of life safetyD eYATEL ness.

We foresee all the dangers

It’s a shame not to study your subject.

And for those who disagree with us,

You'll have to be a stupid bird!

This medal is awarded to a life safety teacher:Shpentyuk Anatoly Petrovich.

Presenter 1 Question No. 5. Who has the most wonderful item? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 7 )

The correct answer is foreignSTRANGE language.

It is mandatory and necessary

And very important, no doubt,

But suddenly it turned out

Wonderful and strange is your subject!

This medal is awarded to foreign language teachers:Bushkina Zoya Alekseevna, Kachakova Elena Yurievna.

Presenter 2 Question #6: Which one of you has the most athletic item? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 8 )

The correct answer is bioLOG and I. If you read the name backwards, you can easily guess the most sporting term that sounded on the lips of every fan in the summer of 2018. It's a GOAL!

The subject was difficult - it became sports,

It's all because of the game of football.

We discovered in biology

Let it turn inside out, the word “goal”!

This medal is awarded to a biology teacher:Bezgacheva Olga Ivanovna.

Presenter 1 Question No. 7. Who teaches the most cultural subject? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 9 )

The correct answer is physical education.

They help to become more cultured,

Jumping, gymnastics and running.

Without physical education, uncultured,

It happens to every person!

This medal is awarded to a physical education teacher:Mukhin Vladimir Valerievich.

Presenter 2 Question No. 8. What are the most hiccuping objects? (Teachers' answers) ( Slide number 10 )

The correct answer is physicalIR and informatIR A.

A boy is crying in the office,

I didn't pass computer science.

Everything hiccups and hiccups,

Nothing helps!

This medal is awarded to teachers of physics and computer science:Komarova Veronika Sergeevna, Borzdova Natalya Atashevna.

Fun intelligence tests with a trick

Test No. 1

Answer quickly without hesitation. And don’t peek at the answers!

1. You are competing and have passed the runner in second position.
What position do you take now?

<< Answer to the question >>

Try to answer the second question of the test

2. You passed the last runner, what position are you in now?

<< Answer to the question >>

3. Take 1000. Add 40. Add another thousand. Add 30. Another 1000. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What happened?

<< Answer to the question >>

4. Mary's Father has five daughters: 1. Chacha 2. Cheche 3. Chichi 4 Chocho. Question: What is the name of the fifth daughter? Think fast. The answer is just below.

<< Answer to the question >>

Test No. 2

This test is very simple. You need to answer one question...
Why is honey golden?

P because flowers receive a lot of sunlight.

P because flower pollen is naturally golden in color.

P because bees enrich it with enzymes that have such a shade.

P because that’s how people make honey.

I Don't know.

Mini-test for intelligence No. 3

Want to test your intelligence? A little test!
1. So, the deaf-mute decided to buy a toothbrush. He goes to the store and gestures to the seller that he is brushing his teeth. The seller guesses what it is about, and the deaf-mute gets his brush.
Now the blind man decided to buy himself sunglasses. How should he inform the seller about this?
Think and then look at the correct answer...

<< Answer to the question >>

2. Make one word from the given set of letters - L O S O N D O V

<< Answer to the question >>

3. The pilot jumped out of the plane without a parachute. How was he able to remain unharmed after landing on solid ground?

<< Answer to the question >>

Test No. 4

1. There are two bottles of 5 and 3 liters. How to use them to measure exactly a liter of water, without using any other containers.

<< Answer to the question >>

2. There are 5 mushrooms in the basket. How to divide mushrooms between five mushroom pickers so that everyone gets an equal share and one mushroom remains in the basket?

<< Answer to the question >>

3. In 1970 a person was 30 years old, and in 1975 he was 25 years old. How is this possible?

<< Answer to the question >>

4. Guess how many cats are in the room, if there is 1 cat in each of the 4 corners of the room, 3 cats are opposite each cat, 1 cat is sitting on the tail of each cat.

<< Answer to the question >>

5. Many of you have seen bottles of alcohol in liquor stores that also contain some large ripe fruit inside: an apple, a pear, etc. Now tell me how to place a fairly large ripe fruit (not dried) into such a bottle with a narrow neck without damaging it. without dividing it.

<< Answer to the question >>

6. Not far from the shore there is a ship with a lowered rope ladder. The staircase has 15 steps. The distance between the steps is 45 cm. The lowest step touches the surface of the water. Suddenly the tide begins, due to which the water level rises by 15 cm every hour. Question: after what period of time will the water level reach the third stage?

<< Answer to the question >>

7. There are two traffic police inspectors standing by the road. One looks to the left to see if a car is approaching from the north, and the other looks to the right to see if a car is approaching from the south. Suddenly one asks the other: “Why are you smiling?” How could he know that the other inspector was smiling?

<< Answer to the question >>

8. Imagine two cities, in one of which people tell only the truth, and in the other only lies. People from one city often visit people in another city and vice versa. If you find yourself in one of the cities, what is the only question you should ask a passerby to find out which of the two cities you are in?

<< Answer to the question >>

9. A motorist in the parking lot this morning discovered that his car had one tire that was flat. Despite this, he got into the car and drove 50 km to work and drove 50 km back in the evening again, without carrying out any repairs or replacing the wheel. How is this possible?

<< Answer to the question >>

10. A tool for measuring time with a minimum number of moving parts is a sundial. Which timing instrument has the maximum number of moving parts?

<< Answer to the question >>

11. At a sports car competition, two of the best drivers made an unusual bet - whose car comes slower, the winner takes the prize fund for himself. At the start, when the start gong sounded, both cars did not even think about moving forward. Everyone is confused, the competition breaks down. To young people (racers). An elderly man came up and said something to both of them. After a short pause, both accelerated, whoever was faster, trying to overtake each other. The rules are unchanged - the fund will be taken by the one whose car arrives second. Question: What did the old man say to the racers?

• Quiet! Let's pretend you're interested.
• To be taken. Familiar word? Skullcap.
• Let’s do this: I’ll quickly tell you the topic, then I’ll do this (covers his face with his hands for two seconds and opens it) and - “Oh, where are the students? No students!
• Moscow City sounds the same to me as Los Astrakhan or Rio de Zhitomir!
• Dear back rows, don't hit your head on your desk. Still not that bad.
• A late student comes in and does not close the door behind him. 5 seconds silence, then:
  - Excuse me, but did you see our doorman there?
• The point of education is to pick up smart words and then juggle them.
• Well, as they say, the boy is the master of his word, so answer your four topics, since I promised.
• - Valery Alexandrovich, how do you like my analytical work?
  - Well... I liked the title.
• I understand if the lectures were bad... But I know that I read well!
• I don’t like that you laugh so hard there until you cry... It makes me feel jealous.
• What a wonderful pronoun “Ikhny”! If it weren’t for education, she would always say that!
• Katanaeva: “How will you solve the test?”
  Student: “The same as today, intuitively.”
  Katanaeva: “Intuitively, in accounting you can only go to jail.”
• The sword is the first surgical instrument. Previously, they had to undergo amputations. The most common operations were cutting off the head. Sometimes other parts of the body - as it turns out.
• You will have problems. This is fine. Where there are people, there are always problems.
• Meteorology is an exact science. The tambourine must be held in the left hand.
• You can calculate coefficients using curved integrals only after having a good lunch.
• Not everyone can find complex roots - few can do it.
• The next check of test papers makes us once again convinced that some students are trying to make a revolution in the history of the state and law.
• I don't really understand this rounding system. In my practice, half a liter was never rounded to a liter.
• I officially declare that this task is stronger than me!
• The teacher looks at the student’s pencil case for a few seconds, then asks:
  - Can tea be stored in this thing?
• The main homeless person of that time was Confucius.
• The world of useless things is limitless. And I am proud to tell you about the most beautiful of them - differential geometry!
• - Excuse me, but what was the theorem that we proved?
  - Let's start from the beginning... My name is Vladimir Alexandrovich.

My husband comes home from work angry and tired. He enters the room and sees that his wife is standing in just a robe, bending over. “Well, at least everything is fine at home,” he thinks, after which he sits behind and does his job.

After sex, satisfied, he goes into the kitchen and sees that his wife is cooking something there. About her:
- I don’t understand, what are you doing here?
- Like what? I'm preparing dinner. Today my mother came to visit us, now we’ll have dinner together... why are you so surprised?
- Oh, dear... it seems I confused you with her and deposited her in the next room!.. God, what a shame!.. What should I do?.. Listen, dear, can you go and apologize to her? Otherwise, if I go, I’ll simply burn with shame!..
- Your mother - you and apologize!

The brain has gathered all the organs for a meeting and tells them:
- Our body is aging. There is no longer enough energy for everyone. Therefore, we need to resolve the issue of load redistribution. Who has any thoughts?
Everyone is silent. Here the spleen rises and says:
- We have two lungs. Maybe we can give up one?
The lungs immediately began to be indignant, and the brain said:
- No. The lungs are oxygen. We won't last long with just one lung. Therefore, we will not get rid of the easy ones. Any other suggestions?
Everyone is silent. The spleen stands up again and says:
- We have two kidneys. Maybe one is not so necessary...
The kidneys also began to be indignant, and the brain said:
- No, spleen. The kidneys are a water exchanger. No way. Maybe someone other than the spleen has any suggestions?
Then a member stands up and says:
- Why do we need a spleen at all? I still don't understand its function. Let's get rid of it.
The brain is silent. And the spleen jumps up and starts screaming:
- Yes of course! It's always like this! As soon as the penis gets erect, the brain stops working!

The Wolf runs through the forest and suddenly sees a Hare sitting on a stump and killing a joint. He told him:
- Hare, what are you, a drug addict? Give it up, let's better run!
Well, the Hare put aside his business and ran with the Wolf. The two of them run further and suddenly they see a fox sitting in a clearing with a bottle. Wolf to her:
- Fox, let's stop drinking! Better run with us!
Well, the fox also put the bottle aside and joined them. The three of them are already running, and the Bear meets them. Wolf to him:
- Misha, run with us! We are here for a healthy lifestyle!
- Oh, come on, Volchara! - he answers, - You smell like glue, so let’s chase all the animals through the forest!

Two friends are talking. One says:
- Look: there lived two little squirrels. They were born in the same yard and went to the same school together. They had a real squirrel friendship! Then they went to the same institute together, then they also served in the army together, in the same unit. And when they returned from the army, one little squirrel suddenly had a nut. And the other one, of course, felt offended; he also wanted a nut. And he, while his friend was running somewhere, took this nut from him for a while. Borrowed, one might say...
- Kolya, what kind of squirrels?! What nuts?! What are you even talking about? You slept with my wife!

After 15 years of marriage, husband and wife began to constantly quarrel with each other. Well, they decided to go to a psychotherapist so that he could somehow help them. They came and began to figure it out. The wife talks and talks and expresses her indignation, complaints, etc. Then the doctor gets up from his desk, comes up to her, presses her to him and interrupts her speech with a strong kiss. After this he turns to his husband:
- This is what you should do with her at least three times a week! Do you understand me?
- Yes, doctor, I understand. On Mondays and Wednesdays I can bring it to you, but on Friday I have fishing.

Three children brag to each other about who has the coolest grandfather. One says:
- My grandfather fought in a tank, he was a tank driver. We even have his tank helmet hanging at our house!
The second one says:
- And my grandfather was an artilleryman in the war! We even still have his sword belt at home, and I remember him saying that he fired cannons!
- And my grandfather was in the electric troops! - says the third.
- What kind of troops are these? - the other two ask, “Why did you even decide this?”
- Yes, because I found his helmet in our attic! There were two lightning bolts drawn on it!

At the end of their life, old things end up in the countryside. But before that there is also purgatory in the form of a balcony.

You are so brave on the Internet, but when you say toasts at family feasts, you sit silently and hope that it won’t be your turn.

The tablet was invented so that people would finally stop surfing the Internet and start lying on it.

I want to recruit fifty corgi puppies to organize a mass corgi.

Telephone:
... (calls)
I:
- Sounds like a challenge.

I come from a family where you can never tell whether a rag is drying or whether my mother washed my father’s underpants.

I hate it when you make that face.
- Which?
- Anything.

There are two types of grandmothers. Those on the bright side: they feed deliciously and love their grandchildren. And those on the dark side, instead, go somewhere in the morning with their trunks on public transport.

When I have a grandson, one day he will ask:
- Grandfather, how do you know so much?
I will answer him:
- And you Googled, grandson, with mine.

How to understand that you are already old? When you receive a message at 11 pm and respond to it at 7 am.

Let's kiss each other?
- Let's.
- Schmuck.

What's worse than a mistaken phone call at four in the morning?
- When it's not a mistake.

My husband recently sat down at the piano...
- And played on it?
- No, my husband stole it...

Lyudmila Malivanova
“14 signs that you are a teacher” - a comic test for teachers.

Several years ago, on the Internet, I read funny test,"14 signs that,what do you teacher". Reading it, I smiled and agreed with some points, because in fact this is how it happens. I bring to your attention this test, maybe it will cheer someone up, someone will find out that they are not alone in something, and someone will determine their level of qualifications. I wish you a pleasant acquaintance with test.

1. You bring everything from home that might be useful in kindergarten. (paint, hammer, CDs, books.)

2. YOU bring into the house a lot of useless things, from the point of view of normal people, your loved ones and acquaintances, who watch with apprehension as the mountain of “everything very necessary” grows in your apartment.

3. Your family has been sacrificed for education; they also work with you, although they are not on the staff. They work quietly, feeling sorry for you, and others cursing your kindergarten.

4. Your child’s fate must await. in the office, in a group, at home. Wait patiently and silently!

5. People who are far from education do not understand when you talk about your 25 children and 50 parents.

6. Every informal meeting with colleagues develops into a mini-teaching council, despite the fact that you always swear not to talk about kindergarten and work.

7. There is always much more money in your purse than your own. (For repairs of a group, site, theater).

8. You jump up in the middle of the night to write down another brilliant idea for tomorrow's class.

9. Your house is already choking with vases and other unnecessary trinkets that your conscience does not allow you to throw away - gifts!

10. Half the district says hello to you, and the same half evaluates:how are you?who are you with?and where are you?

11. You know how to paint, whitewash, hammer nails, glue, repair furniture, work double shifts, persuade, go to work sick and get into someone’s position.

12. You don’t know how to rest properly, say “no” to the administration, or walk past book displays. 13. Life has many times more reasons to celebrate than others: the beginning of the school year, preschool teacher's day, matinees, New Year, March 8, the end of the school year, and as many reasons for headaches.

14. You can’t decide on 1 September: accept congratulations or condolences?

If all this is about you, then you are a real teacher!

Publications on the topic:

Didactic games based on the names of signs for children of primary preschool age The child realizes that everything in the world can be an object and that a description of this object is possible through signs. Any sign has a generalized character.

Fresh air is necessary and useful for kids! We have a lot of fun walking! And no diseases. Constructions made of snow and ice are old and traditional.

Pedagogical article Game-test “How I and my family work” Educator: Ivanova Natalya Nikolaevna Game-test “How I work.

Consultation for junior educators “What a junior educator can do for children” Consultation for junior teachers What can a junior teacher do with children when the teacher is teaching a lesson? At this time, children.

Consultation for educators “What should a educator know about traffic rules?” From a very early age, it is necessary to teach children safe behavior on the streets, roads, in transport and traffic rules. Daily.

Test for parents “Nature of Russia” Dear parents, we invite you to take a test on your knowledge of the nature of Russia: 1. Is it depicted on the coat of arms of the Samara region? a) Wild.

Psychological test for preschoolers “My Family” Children are interested in testing. For them, tests are a new kind of exciting game. While the child is interested in this game, the psychologist conducts the game.

The main heroes of the occasion are teachers. Various numbers, games and competitions are performed for them. Bright and cheerful presenters praise the merits of the teaching staff, and Leo will introduce the horoscope for each zodiac sign. The touching finale and the warm, friendly atmosphere will allow you to remember this holiday for a long time.

Target: creating a festive atmosphere, fostering a respectful attitude towards the teacher’s work.

Room decoration

The hall is decorated with various posters with congratulations and wall newspapers. To decorate the stage, you can use multi-colored and paper flowers. Seats in the front row are allocated for teachers - they are the main ones at the holiday.

Required details:

• Projector and a computer for viewing interviews.
• Item in the chest for the game “Guess the object”.
• 20 cards with words and a magnetic board for the game “Memory”.
• Goldfish by the number of teachers.

Costumes:

• Presenters: dressed in festive and bright attire.
• Mandatory mane, tail with a tassel, dark orange pants and turtleneck. You can sew fluffy cuffs of the same shade onto the sleeves.
• Other participants also dressed brightly and festively.

Preliminary work

Prepare numbers for congratulations (poems, dance - waltz, songs); prepare a video interview with teachers “My first steps.”

Progress of the event

Teachers are seated in the front rows of the hall while music plays. Two presenters enter.

Presenter 1: Hello, dear teachers!

Presenter 2: Good afternoon, our dear mentors!

Presenter 1: Today we have gathered in this festively decorated hall to celebrate another event.

Presenter 2: Not just an event, but a grandiose event! After all, we will be honoring our mentors - our beloved teachers!

Presenter 1: You light stars, find talents in every student. And today we will rock for you!

A student speaks with a poem about teachers.

Presenter 2: Of course, you, dear teachers, have countless talents. Each has its own zest, its own peculiarity, which allows us to love and respect you.

Presenter 1: And you are the strictest and fairest! The school year has recently begun, and we are already pretty tired, earning the coveted “A’s.”

Presenter 2: But in no case do we blame you for this! After all, we understand that whoever does not work does not eat, that is, does not receive the necessary knowledge!

Presenter 1: In gratitude for the care and attention, the entire student body of the school decided to give our beloved teachers the opportunity to have a good rest, recharge with vigor and good mood for the whole year.

Presenter 2: However, you will also have to work hard today to “earn” a good mood and get the lion’s share of our attention!

Presenter 1: Don't be afraid, we won't bring a lion. After all, he can eat you! What will we do then without you, our amazing mentors?

Presenter 2 (dreamily): If only you sleep longer, hang out on the Internet more often, and no lessons...

Presenter 1: Do not even hope! They will send others from RONO, and new teachers are akin to aliens - first you need to establish contact in order to understand what they want. Do we need this hassle?

Presenter 2: Of course not! So we, such family and friends, will protect you from all misfortunes. And no lions in our hall!

A student dressed as a lion enters.

Presenter 1: Oh oh oh! What is it? Or rather, who are you?

(proudly): I am a lion! King of beasts! Head of the zodiac horoscope! Can't you see it?

Presenter 2 (menacingly): And why did you, the head of the animal state, come? Is there really not enough game in your forest and you decided to hunt with us?

(scared): No, no, under no circumstances! I don't feed on living organisms - I'm from the zodiac! I heard you are having a great event.

Presenter 1: That's right, today we celebrate Teacher's Day. And here, in the front row, sit the heroes of the occasion (points).

In this case, I would like to convey small wishes from my colleagues - zodiac signs (reads out humorous wishes to teachers of various zodiac signs).

Presenter 2: Thank you for your wishes and forecast.

It's nice to please people who are useful. Well, all that remains is to say goodbye - my heavenly friends are waiting for me. See you! (Runs away).

Presenter 1: So unexpected, but so nice. We are not the only ones who consider our teachers worthy.

Presenter 2: True, but congratulations don’t end there – there’s still more to come! The vocal group of our school dreams of congratulating our beloved teachers.

A song of congratulations is sung by school students.

Presenter 1: Our teachers, so wise and experienced, once went to school just like we do now and received grades.

Presenter 2: They dreamed that someday they would grow up and become teachers.

Presenter 1: And now the dream has come true: you are teachers! Tell me, what were your first feelings at the beginning of your activity? What successes or failures did you experience early on?

Interview “My first steps.” You can interview teachers in advance and show the finished video, or you can conduct a survey during the event.

Presenter 2: Let's write a fairy tale about our mentors.

Presenter 1: Our teachers are such creative and gifted individuals that you should write a poem about them, not a fairy tale!

Presenter 2: Well, I’m not a poet, I can’t write poetry. Therefore, you will still have to tell a fairy tale - but one so light that it will make your soul feel warm.

Presenter 1: It would be great!

Presenter 2: So, in a bright, bright forest...

Presenter 1: In a bright, bright clearing...

Presenter 2: There is a bright, bright house called a school.

Presenter 1: And in that house live bright, bright people...

Presenter 2: With a bright, bright soul...

Presenter 1: And they teach the bright, bright children everything that is bright, kind and beautiful!

Presenter 2: And because of such a bright, bright attitude, there is always light around.

Presenter 1: It turned out to be an original “light” fairy tale. I wonder if there are many cognates for the word “light”?

Presenter 2: Let's ask our teachers to name them and count them ourselves?

Teachers call words with the same root: light, light, brighten, enlighten, and so on.

Presenter 1: How many words have been formed from the word “light”!

Presenter 2: But light is science! After all, it is said: “Learning is light, but ignorance is darkness.”

Presenter 1: Exactly! And our teachers lead us to the light. For this, we give you, dear teachers, another gift - dance.

High school students dance the waltz. On the last verse you can invite teachers.